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chapter thirty-seven: breaking the glass balloon
{a/n:
our girl is finally about to climb out of her shell!! literally so excited for this bc y'all know what's about to come...}
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"I'M GOING TO DO IT" The words were a very measly attempt at a whisper, but Vera didn't want to freak her brother out. "Angela is right. This program would be a great opportunity for me."
There was a beat as Quinn took a sip of his mango protein smoothie, leaving Vera to drown in her own anxiousness as he seems to take his time to reply. Considering the siblings were the only customers at Tropical Smoothie Cafe in Minneapolis, the silence was an attribute to her uneasiness.
"So, you're just going to give up hockey?"
She shakes her head. "No. I am uh- I'm just keeping my options open.
Quinn almost laughs as he glances down at the table. "Okay. Sure."
"I'm being serious."
He looks back up at her, twisting his straw around with his pointer finger and thumb. Quinn's tongue rubs against his cheek for a brief second as he comes up with a response.
He leans a little closer, as if he was going to tell a secret, "Vera, you've done over twelve of these stupid intern gigs for two years and has hated every damn one. You had quit them all. You weren't happy. And if I'm not mistaken, you aren't even eligible to be an intern. You're only seventeen, you don't have a single degree, and honestly I don't think you even know what you're doing."
It's always been a mystery to Vera on how her mother even finds these programs. The girl knows that there's absolutely no way that she meets all the requirements. But it may not be a coincidence that almost all of the hospitals she's worked at has been in unattainable conditions, extremely low salary (not even minimum wage), and desperate for any sort of help.
"But this one may be different..." She ignores his little rant over her lack of quality. "It's in Brainard, only 2 hours away from the academy -- mostly a reasonable distance for weekends. Uh, it's a lot nicer then some I've worked at. And.. uhm..."
Quinn rolls his eyes. "And... uhm.." he mocks which causes her to stop. "V, just admit it. You don't want to, and that's okay. You need to go for what you want. If you're that worried about Angela then maybe I can talk to her."
Vera's eyes widen. "Are you crazy?"
"No?" Her brother furrows his brows.
"She fucking hates you!"
Quinn's lips drop into a flat line as he shamefully nods. "Right." He takes another sip of his smoothie, then says, "Look, you're still in highschool. You're still a teenager. If you do this, you're going to start becoming an actual adult and trust me, growing up is not fun."
The corner of Vera's mouth curls downward as she tilts her head, confused. "What's with the change of topic?"
"Vera, you turn eighteen in a couple days. You're suddenly going to be hit with a ton of responsibility that you're not going to be able to handle that quickly. You need to trust me on this." His serious and demanding tone kind of frightened Vera. She's never seen him act this way.
Quinn rakes a hand through his hair. "I'm just saying that if you do decide to do this internship, your mother is going to think that she won and that she can control you the rest of your life and she's going to force you to grow up. So if that's the case, I need you to go out and have fun. You need to experience being an actual teenager."
The girl straightens her posture in the velvet red booth.
"And, you need to picture what you want. Being miserable in a hospital room with shifts up to 48 hours, or being out on the rink and doing what you love." He adds which really clicks in her mind.
Vera reaches out with a dramatic sigh, grabbing ahold of his drink, she says, "I think you know which one I'd rather pick." and takes a very long sip.
Quinn watches her with a small grin, arms folded on top of the table. "Just think about it, okay?" his tone is a lot quieter. "But just know that I'd prefer my baby sister having hot and steamy sex than wanting to kill herself with because of utter exhaustion."
A smirk absentmindedly crawls its way to her lips while someone in her mind takes over. Quinn finds it weird that his sister isn't objectifying the dirty remark and immediately becomes alarmed.
"Vera... I swear if you're already having hot and steamy sex-"
THE CONVERSATION SHE had with her brother gave Vera a new perspective. As she walks out of the elevator and into the hall of her dormitory, she thinks over the whole thing. She realizes that it's okay that not everything in her life is perfect. It's okay if she doesn't want to do what her mother wants. It's okay if she makes mistakes.
It's okay for her to forgive.
Numerous scenarios that used to be reasons why she should change has piled in her mind and it hits her that she's a human being.
Quinn was right.
It's. not. that. deep.
Julie's laying on her bed when she walks in. She look up from her homework when the door opens, and a smile is instantly on the blondes lips. "Hey, Vera." She puts the cap on her orange highlighter. "What's up?"
"I've been internally lying to myself." The brunette deadpans.
Julie raises an eyebrow. "About what? Your feelings for Adam?"
Vera's nose crinkles and she stares at her friend likeshe'd just stabbed her hand with a fork. "Huh?"
"Your feelings for Adam." Julie's words are in a string of giggles as she sits up on her comforter, closing her notebook with jitter. The blonde claps her hands together and sets them in her lap. "I've been waiting for this. C'mon, spill everything."
Vera rocks on her heels slightly. She brings up her hand and nibbles on her nails for a moment before swinging her arm back down. She rolls her eyes and struts over to her desk.
"It has nothing to do with him. I was lying about something else." She says as she drapes both her purse and coat over her computer chair.
Julie doesn't believe her. "Mhm. Sure."
"I'm serious." Vera says. Her purse falls from the chair and she reaches back down to pick it up, but pauses as something enters her thoughts.
It's okay to admit things.
"Oh, you're thinking!" Julie exclaimes and pops up on her knees. She points, "You're thinking! You're thinking about how much you still like him!"
The brunette has a 'really' expression wiped over her features as she fixes her mistake, setting the purse ontop of the desk. "I'm not."
Julie brings her hand over her mouth. She squeals through her fingers, "You 100% still have feelings for that Cake-Eater! I can see right through you!"
"Jules, you're delusional."
"I am not!"
Vera walks to her bed with her head hanging low, shaking it with a small grin on her lips. "You're being ridiculous. I am so done with him."
The goalie shuffles her way off her bed. She takes a few steps, then hops onto her roomates. "You've really got a problem with lying."
Her eyes flicker between Julie's and her heart drops. Vera let's out a sigh and lays back on her bed, grasping onto a decorative pillow beside her and covering her face.
"I do, don't I?"
Julie's face physically brightens. "Oh my God, I was right! It was about Adam!"
"It wasn't about Adam but you're making me rethink everything." Vera's words are muffled by the pillow. She almost thinks about suffocating herself just so she can leave this moment.
She feels the mattress shift and sink beside her and figures Julie laid down. She slowly takes the pillow off and turns on her side, facing her friend.
"I never lost them." Vera admits quietly, almost chuckling when she sees Julie visibly perk up.
She couldn't understand why the girl was so invested, but it made her kind of happy. She's never had a friend like this before.
It feels good.
"I tried so hard to push them away but it's not worth it because they're just going to keep coming back." Vera continues. Her tone faulters with every word and oddly enough, tears start nipping at her eyes.
The realization struck.
Everything painful yet full of relief.
Julie senses that her friend is becoming emotional. The blonde turns on her side as well, and wraps an arm around her friend.
Vera chuckles softly when the first few tears fall and her cheeks start to moisten. "I don't even know why I'm crying." she sniffles.
"You've finally broken that little glass balloon you've stuck yourself in." Julie mumbles, wiping some of Vera's tears away with her thumb. "You denied and hid, but it popped, and that's okay."
"It's okay." Vera repeats, nodding.
It's okay.
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mari speaks!!
^^^this comment is the reason why i write, so thank you adambanksieswife
this was kind of a boring and short chapter. it was just really supposed to give you guys a view on how vera decided to change a bit and finally detach herself from her mother — but i don't think i made that point clear in the chapter so here i am telling you now!
also, heads up for the upcoming chapters...
vera x adam is finally healing.
thank you all for reading! I hope wherever you are, that you all have a blessed day or night commenting and voting are greatly appreciated! they boost my motivation sm
not edited***
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