Over the next few days I got in as much rest as possible. It was definitely boring, but also welcome at the same time.
My overall exhaustion didn't really fade that much, though. Everything that has happened over the past month is definitely going to stick with me for a while.
With seemingly no end to the emotional torment I was receiving, I got a message from Minerva telling me that Bloom's funeral was being hosted this afternoon.
I thought about the prospect for a while. I wasn't sure if it was okay for us to attend, or if her family would even want us there.
Bloom would probably want us there, though. Not that she's capable of holding opinions anymore...
With a sigh I decided to take up Minerva's offer and head to her funeral with the rest of the squad, excluding Cutter, for obvious reasons.
After messaging her back she told me that Trotter's funeral was also coming up soon. I guess that's the week it's going to be. Resting and funerals.
I took some time to redo all my bandages to hide my wounds as much as possible as well as clean off any blood.
Then, I borrowed a suit and dress shoes from storage. I wasn't used to dressing up for stuff, so I didn't really have many clothes to pick from.
After putting it all on and making sure I looked and smelled presentable, I headed to the hangar bay to meet up with the rest of my squad.
To my surprise, Quasar was there.
He was looking much better than the last time I saw him, but still not great. He was hooked up to some IV bags that were hanging off of a pole with wheels.
Cerulean: "Quasar? You didn't need to come."
Quasar: "I know, but I wanted to. I got permission from Sera."
Cerulean: "Are you sure? You really should be resting."
Quasar: "And I could say the same about you, Squad Leader."
Cerulean: "...Fair enough."
Quasar: "Bloom... She was the newest to the squad before me. We became good friends."
Quasar: "...It wouldn't feel right to skip out on her funeral."
Cerulean: "Just so we're clear, we may not even be allowed in there. If her family refuses us, we'll have to accept their wishes."
Quasar: "I know, I understand."
Quasar: "To be honest, I don't even know how I'd feel in their situation."
Quasar: "But for me, I at least want to make an effort to show up."
Cerulean: "Alright. If you're sure."
We all boarded the dropship with Spike and I helping Quasar up.
After making sure Quasar and his IV pole were securely strapped in, we took off.
Cerulean: "Wasn't expecting to get to speak with you all again so soon."
Sandsnake: "I guess these two funerals will be the send-off to our squad, then."
Lilybell: "It's a little grim, but I suppose that is the line of work we're in..."
The funeral was being held in Viento, the capital city of Costa del Sol.
It was relatively close to Geo, all things considered, so we didn't have to spend too much time flying across the planet.
The exclamations of surprise from my squad when the city came into view made me smile softly.
Viento is a coastal city, but a large portion of the city is actually off the coast and sits in the ocean, with canals of ocean water instead of roads.
There were hundreds of boats at all the many, many docks, and even a cruise liner that was picking up passengers.
Out in the distance, massive flood barriers protruded out of the water. The white stone they were made out of glowed brightly in the sun.
Most of the flood barriers were beneath the water, though. They were mainly used to control the level of water getting into the city, so that it stayed the same all day round.
They did this with absolutely massive mechanisms that could raise and lower the enormous flood barriers from beneath the ocean floor. With this they could limit the flow of water in the Viento Bay, or cut it off entirely.
During storms and floods, they would all raise as high as they could to protect the city.
It was an absolute marvel of engineering, and bloody expensive, too.
Suppose they have to do something with all that money they make from trade and tourism.
Looking down at the city itself, the colors were really something to behold. It seemed that they wanted to use every color of the rainbow to decorate.
There was little to no standardization when it came to colors and designs. Anything was fine as long as it was structurally sound.
It was a very different visual from Geo, which was mostly white and gray with the occasional gold.
We ended up landing outside of the city. Bloom was having a burial at sea, which had to be done at one of the docks.
The pilot found a suitable spot near the highway to land that wouldn't disrupt anyone or anything.
After that, we dismounted, helping Quasar out of the dropship once again.
A short walk was all we needed to arrive at the dock where her funeral was to be held.
The sizable group of people standing outside, all wearing black, told us that we were probably in the right place.
Unsurprisingly, we drew a number of curious eyes as we approached.
I saw a crying woman who looked like an older version of Bloom. Assuming she was her Mother, I approached her to ask if it would be okay for us to attend.
Once I got close, she wiped her eyes with a handkerchief and turned to me.
However, the moment she saw my PMF badge a look of anger shot across her face.
Woman: "PMF..."
Woman: "...You're here for Sally's funeral?"
Cerulean: "Are you her Mother?"
Woman: "...I am, yes."
Cerulean: "Then, we would like to humbly request that you allow us to attend."
Cerulean: "While we knew her as Bloom, and not Sally, she still meant a lot to us."
Cerulean: "However, if our presence is too painful for you to bear, we will understand and leave you to grieve for your daughter."
She looked down at her feet for a few seconds, clearly not sure how to respond.
Bloom's Mother: "You look strong. Were you her Squad Leader?"
Cerulean: "Yes. And I take full responsibility for her death."
Her face was filled with rage when she looked up at me, but I didn't react.
She was so angry that I thought she was going to hit me for a second, but she sighed instead.
Bloom's Mother: "...I really don't know what to say. I didn't expect you lot to show up."
Bloom's Mother: "To be honest, I want to slap you. To yell at you. To ask why my dear daughter had to die so young."
Bloom's Mother: "But it's pointless. Just like the 'responsibility' you're taking."
Bloom's Mother: "Nothing will bring her back."
Cerulean: "I understand."
Cerulean: "And while it cannot possibly compare to the grief you're feeling, know that we are grieving, too."
I looked back at my squad, who looked like they wanted to intervene, but were thankfully staying back.
Cerulean: "Just because we're soldiers doesn't mean we don't cry when our comrades die."
Cerulean: "They're more than just squad members. They're friends."
After looking back at her, she seemed to have calmed down somewhat.
Bloom's Mother: "That other one in the back with the IV bags. Was he injured in the same incident?"
Cerulean: "Yes."
Cerulean: "Another from my squad died as well."
Bloom's Mother: "I noticed you were limping slightly. Did you get hurt as well?"
Cerulean: "That was a different situation, but yes I was injured recently."
Bloom's Mother: "You're so strong... I can practically feel strength emanating off of your body.."
Bloom's Mother: "...And yet even someone as powerful as you can be injured to this degree."
Bloom's Mother: "I had no idea that working for the PMF was so dangerous..."
Bloom's Mother: "..Had I known..."
Bloom's Mother: "...I wouldn't have let her join in the first place.."
Bloom's Mother: "All she wanted to do was to help people. She could have done that in so many ways without putting herself at risk."
Bloom's Mother: "I don't understand..."
Cerulean: "I'll not comment on what could have been, for I do not know."
Cerulean: "But know that in her short time with us, she saved many lives."
Cerulean: "It is my sincerest wish that I could have died in her place."
Cerulean: "I certainly wouldn't have a large group of people mourning for me like this."
Cerulean: "Someone who loves and was loved like her didn't deserve to die."
Bloom's Mother started crying, and a man, who I assumed was Bloom's Father, hugged her.
Bloom's Mother: "...Stay if you want."
Cerulean: "Thank you. It means a lot to us."
After the man took Bloom's Mother away, I turned around and walked back to my squad, who were all looking rather uncomfortable.
Cerulean: "...That went better than I thought it would."
Lilybell: "I'm just glad that we can stay..."
Sandsnake: "I never figured you'd be able to get your feelings across like that, Cerulean."
Cerulean: "Despite how it looks, I do have emotions, I'm just good at hiding them."
Cerulean: "Blunt professionalism is good for our line of work, but it's not appropriate for a funeral."
Cerulean: "Anyway, let's try to stay out of everyone's way. While we did get permission to stay, it's not like our presence is exactly wanted."
Spike: "Right."
There were a number of seats on the dock for the funeral procession. I had my squad sit in the very back row so we didn't disturb anyone else.
We continued to get a number of curious looks as other people went to sit down, but no one came over to bother us.
The procession itself lasted about ten minutes, with many tears and heartfelt speeches.
However, to my incredible surprise, Bloom's Mother asked if I wanted to come up and talk to everyone about her time in my squad.
I was so taken aback by the request that I almost forgot to respond. I figured she only begrudgingly let us stay, but that seems to not quite be the case.
Despite my shock, I gladly accepted and went to go stand in front of everyone.
I hadn't prepared a speech, obviously, so I started coming up with some stuff off the top of my head about her.
It'd be more genuine like that anyway, I guess.
The number of confused looks I got while standing in front of everyone was rather frightening.
...To think that this is the thing that would scare me out of everything.
I closed my eyes and prepared to give a speech.
Cerulean: "I know the presence of my friends and I has caused some confusion. Some of you may have noticed that we are a part of the PMF by our badges, and you'd be right."
Cerulean: "I am a PMF Elite Operator with the codename Cerulean."
Cerulean: "Sally, or, as we called her in the PMF, Bloom, was a healer in my squad."
Cerulean: "I'm not here to defend the PMF. It wasn't even a requirement for me to attend in the first place. It was something I and the rest of my squad wanted to do for someone we considered a friend."
Cerulean: "I firmly believe that actions should drive reputation, and not words."
Cerulean: "And it is undeniable that Sally died as a result of the PMF's actions."
Cerulean: "However, I also believe that the PMF does many good things as well. I wouldn't continue working here if I didn't."
Cerulean: "An unfortunate reality of our line of work is that it is dangerous. Far more dangerous than most people think."
Cerulean: "In turbulent times like this, it can often seem like we are at war. Bullets are shot at us and bombs are dropped on us just like any other soldier."
Cerulean: "I myself brushed right up against death's embrace just the other day. I genuinely thought that I was going to die, only to barely survive by the skin of my teeth."
Cerulean: "It's unbelievably dangerous, but the PMF fights to make the world a better place. Most recently, we stabilized the horrifying situation in Iroha, saving thousands of civilian lives as a result."
Cerulean: "It is those people that we fight for. Vulnerable civilians."
Cerulean: "And it is those people that Sally fought for."
Cerulean: "She joined the PMF wanting to help people. Wanting to use her healing magic and knowledge as a nurse to save people."
Cerulean: "And she did. I personally know several names that would be on a gravestone had she not fought alongside us."
Cerulean: "While she ultimately did not get to fight for us for long, she left her mark anyway."
Cerulean: "I'm sure many of you are wishing that she had never joined the PMF, and had done something else entirely, and I completely understand. Were I in your position, I very likely would hold the same opinion."
Cerulean: "I myself have a wealth of family members who are no longer here, and I would do anything to see them again."
Cerulean: "But the world is cruel. It takes the best and brightest away from us at the worst times."
Cerulean: "In her short time in my squad, Sally never failed to brighten everyone up with a smile. Never failed to lighten the mood with a joke."
Cerulean: "She became close friends with all of us before we even knew it."
Cerulean: "And was unfortunately taken from us before we even knew it."
Cerulean: "If you hate us, then hate us. I will not disparage you for even a moment."
Cerulean: "All I want is to pay respects to a fallen friend. That I have been allowed not just that, but to have been requested to speak on her time in my squad, is an honor I will never forget."
Cerulean: "Knowing the grief I feel as a friend, I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel."
Cerulean: "I am truly sorry for Sally's death."
Cerulean: "Thank you."
I wasn't met with any clapping, but I saw Bloom's Mother smiling through her tears.
Seems I had some positive effect, at the very least.
I sat back down with a sigh. That might have been the most exhausting few minutes of my life.
The burial at sea then started. Bloom's casket was taken out into the ocean by a boat, which then returned a few minutes later without the casket.
Burial at sea was a common tradition for coastal cities, and Bloom loved her home, so it made sense that this was the method chosen.
There was more crying around the dock. I even heard Lilybell blowing her nose.
I myself stayed stoic, as I always did. Truth be told, I was too exhausted to cry at this point in my life.
Every part of my body wanted to just lay down and go to sleep, never to wake up again. But I won't. I'll continue my duty as long as there is some fight left within me.
The funeral then moved on to the reception. Food and drinks were brought out, and there were a number of tables to sit at.
I had our squad sit at one of the tables, but we didn't grab any food, instead leaving it for the rest of the guests.
We spent most of the reception in mostly silent contemplation, only occasionally having a brief conversation.
At some point, though, a teenage boy approached us.
Boy: "Uhm, Cerulean, you said your codename was?"
Cerulean: "That's correct."
Boy: "I-I'm Sally's brother."
Cerulean: "Oh. Justin? She talked about you a lot."
Justin: "R-Really?"
Cerulean: "Yea. Bloom talked all about her family and home while she was with us."
Cerulean: "Not all of us have homes to return to or families to grieve for us when we die, so it was always nice to hear about her stories."
Justin: "Ah.. I see..."
Justin: "..I'm glad she got along with you all so well."
Justin: "She... she used to get bullied in school. It made her really self-conscious."
Justin: "So I'm really happy that she got to be friends with you all."
Cerulean: "You're quite cognizant for just a boy."
Justin: "Sally and I were really close. We loved each other a lot."
Justin: "She was always so kind to me."
He fidgeted for a moment.
Justin: "Can I ask a question?"
Cerulean: "Of course."
Justin: "How did she die?"
Cerulean: "...Before I answer, is this something you really want to know? Death on its own is traumatic enough. Knowing the circumstances can elevate that trauma."
Justin: "I want to know. Momma said that it would be a closed-casket funeral, but all the ones I've heard of are normally open-casket around here."
Justin: "It made me curious about what happened to her. Why we weren't allowed to see her body."
Cerulean: "Soldiers can die in gruesome ways. Some don't even leave behind a body to bury."
Cerulean: "In the case of Bloom, she was shot in the head. That's why they wouldn't want you to see the body."
Justin: "In the head..?"
Justin: "That means.. she died instantly, then?"
Cerulean: "Yes."
Justin: "...I'm glad she didn't suffer, at least.."
Justin let out a small sigh. I wasn't sure how much information to give him, so I kept it brief.
Justin: "Thank you, Cerulean."
Cerulean: "No problem at all."
He turned to leave and went back to his family.
I let out my own sigh. I genuinely feel like I'm going to pass out at any second right now.
After the reception, the funeral came to a close. We left the dock and started heading back to the dropship.
The dropship crew were playing a board game in the back of the ship while they were waiting for us.
My squad and I chuckled when we saw them. That was a good sense of comedic relief for an otherwise emotionally-charged day.
Cerulean: "You boys having fun?"
Crew: "Yes we are. Welcome back."
Cerulean: "Sorry for taking so long."
Crew: "That just meant we had more games to play."
Crew: "Alright lads, to your positions. Time to take off and head home."
The crew put the board game away and we all mounted the dropship, once again helping Quasar up.
We then started on our flight home, which was mostly silent aside from the sounds of the dropship's engines.
After we arrived back at The Excalibur I said my goodbyes to my squad and immediately headed back to my room.
It was still the afternoon, but I was absolutely exhausted. I want to lay down more than anything right now.
My leg needed the rest, anyway.
Unfortunately, I ran into Cutter along the way.
Cutter: "Woah, look at those eyes. You're one tired little Wolf."
Cerulean: "...Tired doesn't even begin to describe."
Cutter: "You're almost making me feel bad for causing that funeral!"
Cerulean: "Yea? Almost?"
Cutter: "Just almost."
I chuckled and shook my head.
Cerulean: "You know what, I needed your stupidity anyway."
Cerulean: "Thanks."
Cutter: "Wow, I'm being thanked for this? You know that's only going to make me be more stupid, right?"
Cerulean: "Do your worst."
Cutter: "My worst is what I'm best at!"
Cerulean: "Indeed."
Cerulean: "Now then, I'm heading to bed."
Cutter: "Already? Man, you really are tired."
Cerulean: "Yea. Later."
Cutter: "Bye-bye~."
I really do feel like I'm losing my mind with her sometimes. How on earth her antics manage to make me feel better is beyond me.
Maybe she's infecting me with her insanity. Who knows.
After that, I went back to my room and collapsed onto my bed and then pretty much immediately fell asleep.