Meg
It is late July right now. The sun is still bright and high in the sky. I make sure that I have my wallet, sunglasses and sunscreen are in my bag, and I grab a big basket before I leave my house. My family moves to Toronto with me so we rented a house. It took me a while to settle everything in my new school, new environment, new society. Fortunately, I can talk and communicate with people with ease in English. I cannot imagine the pain and the loneliness Yuzu might have when he first arrived in Toronto.
Yuzu has been back from Japan after the last ice show in the early July. We have seen each other once or twice since then but I didn't want to disturb him for which I know he has intense training of his new programs. Plus, I think it might be disrespectful or even a trouble for me to go into the club to see him training or just to see him. Meeting him so rarely sours my heart. I can't even try to remember that a month ago, I was nearly beside him every day. But deep in my mind I know that this is way better from just a normal fan. I'm already very lucky and honored.
Today, I'm going to buy some daily food, like eggs, flours, some meat, and some herbs. It's almost Father's Festival in Taiwanese culture, so I thought it might be a good thing to cook my family a dinner. I rode buses and subways to the town and head to the market. I stride through the beef section, but I know that Dad doesn't like beef a lot so I skip to the pork section. The pork chops just look so delicious and tender that I couldn't resist to buy more than 3 pieces.
"Perhaps I can cook it for Mom and I when Dad is away for work." I give an explanation to my superabundance crave for the pork chops.
I grab several chunk of butter for the pork chop and for a delicious double dark chocolate cake with some semisweet ganache. Cocoa powder, chocolate, flour, eggs, molds, perhaps a couple grips of mint will be good as well. I select some thyme, nectarine, bell pepper and some pomegranate to make a delicious salsa as a side dish.
As I pay my money to the casher, who is expressionless, I am wondering what will Yuzu's family celebrate for father's day. I know that Japanese father's day must be the different day as Chinese father's day. Maybe I should ask him about this.
The way home is tiring. The whole bag of food is so heavy that the bag makes 2 red stripes of gravity on my arm. When I return home, Mom helpes me to put things into the fridge and I give her back the changes.
"Meg, your school will start in half a month, are you sure you got everything? Notebooks, pens," She listed things out as she counts her fingers. "Do we have to buy more? Are there enough?"
My mom is first, over-protective, second, over considerate, but overall, very heart-warming.
I give a assuring smile to her. "It's all right, mom, you've already bought a bunch of notebooks already."
"Oh, yeah. You're right." We hug each other.
"How's Yuzuru doing these days." She asks. My mom knows about my inclination and fascination on Yuzu. We often talk about him and she knows that the major reason I chose Toronto to study in is because Yuzu is training here.
"He's really busy, mom." I answer while I pull out a novel from a pile of books I bought from a local bookstore and sit on the bouncy sofa. I can stay in that bookstore for the whole day and I won't get bored. These classic novels are just amazingly beautiful and attractive to me. "He got two completely new programs for the upcoming season!"
"But didn't you say that both of you met each other already?" Mom walks to me and sit beside me.
"Well... yes... but that doesn't mean that I can interfere his training life. I have to respect his life and put his skating in the priority in our relationship." I try to explain this to my mom. Since I left Taiwan and Angel, Mom has been my biggest mental and emotional support, well, all the time.
"I can understand, you're right, Meg." She smiles at me warmly. "I still remember how you asked me to cache all the photos of Yuzuru that you cherished so much away. I was so worried about you at that time because I know how much you really love and admire him."
"Mom..."
"I'm just so glad that you can walk through the hard time and even met and know him when you went to Japan!" She traces my face with the back of her hand gently. " You have grown up so much, my girl."
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I woke up from the buzz of my phone. I pick up my phone and answer whoever is calling me without checking who called me.
"Hello" I say with a cracking voice.
"Meg?" A familiar wakes me up within a second.
I clear my voice and answer him. "Yuzu! I never thought you would call me!"
"Of course I will call, or else, what's the meaning of exchanging our numbers? But anyway, are you alright? You sounded like you caught a cold."
As always, warm and considerate, Yuzu warms my heart.
"I'm alright, I was sleeping before you call me." I sit upright from the sofa.
"Oh!" Yuzu sounds surprised. "I'm sorry to disturb you."
"It's okay," I assure him. "I shouldn't been sleeping. I fell asleep when I was reading my novel. Besides, you are training so hard, I shouldn't have fell asleep."
He laughs a little and we both kind of lost in awkwardness.
"So, why did you call me?" I try to bring up some vivacity in our conversation. It's not that I feel boring talking to him, but I wish he doesn't feel boring talking to me. I love, and actually adore, the time we can actually communicate.
"Oh! Nam wants to ask which day are you going to get familiar with the school."
When I'm waiting once outside the club for Yuzu (I asked him where is the market before and he said he can lead me to there with me), I asked Nam where does he goes for school while I'm waiting for Yuzu and accidentally found out that we will be studying in the same school! He, the junior, and I, the sophomore. How fantastic! He kindly suggested that he will be very "honored" to take me around the school.
"I will be fine on everyday." I answer Yuzu. "I'm basically just reading books before the school starts. Nam, Javi, and you are way busier than I am, so I will fine as long as you guys are fine."
He paused a little.
"Yuzu?"
"Ah, Meg... I'm so sorry... I just.... I'm just too busy. I wish I can take you to places to have some fun."
I'm surprised of his words. I blush secretly behind the phone. I can't believe that he would think this way. I thought he will always think of his training all the time. However, I know that I have to tell him the right thing.
"It's okay, Yuzu. You should not feel this way. Even though I am absolutely happy about what you've said, but I will always be happy to see you skate and train. And as long as you did your job well, I can not be happier."
"I love skating." He says, suddenly with a serious tone.
"I know. Always."
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"I know that you will never tell anybody else." Yuzu says when I meet him the other day after his practice. As usual, I wait him outside the club, for I always think I will be a disturbance and a trouble for not only Yuzu but also other skaters to have an unrelated person in the rink. "Of course."
He took out his iPod touch from his pocket. "I saved them in it a couple days ago so that I can watch them during the way home." He says as he search for the video.
I waited patiently without a word, and pore over his outfit today. A casual blue t-shirt with his signature necklace on his collar bone, usual sporty pants, and normal sneakers. Even such a simple outfit suits him so well that I guess I just can't stop myself to love him less. His hair is a little messy from training. I wonder is it the wind or the air resistance from the jumping and spinning messing up with his hair.
"Is there anything wrong with me?" He looks to me.
I blush like seeing him the first time. I'm embarrassed. He might have not found out that I'm scrutinizing every part of him. If he does, than I could have just hide myself behind the bag I'm holding now, with my novel and wallet inside. "Nothing...." I answer with a soft and uncertain, maybe too weak, voice.
"So anyway, this is my Free Program." He hands over his iPod Touch to me. "Enjoy." He gives me a slight curve on his lips.
I saw him standing straight and eyes closed in the middle of the rink. When the music is on, again, I know instantly the theme of this program. Could there be anything else more magnificent and gorgeous? Phantom of the Opera! One of my favorite musical! The opening right after Phantom starts to sing is so manly and attractive to me, as if Yuzu is the real Phantom on ice. Oh yes! He is! He skates so attractively yet so dangerously that I might not be able to composure of my own exclamation and emotion just by watching through a little screen! And this is not the best and final version!
I widen my eyes to watch the rest of the video. The jumps are huge and wonderful. I love especially the steps. They are so emotional and expressing. The Point of No Return is the saddest and most depressive of all the music in the musical; yet it is so beautiful. The love of Phantom and his knowing that Christine will never choose him to be with him the rest of his life is just a torture to my heart. And Yuzu showed the feeling so truthfully through his skating.
"This could not be better, Yuzu." I stare at the screen for a long after the video has ended. "I love this program so much. I love it. Beautiful, in a sad and graceful meaning."
"Really?" Yuzu asks in an eager voice. "You really do like it?" I hand him back his iPod and nod my head like a hammer. And almost immediately that a huge smile appears on his face. From my angle through my lashes, his angelic face is so content and full of joy. As long he is happy, I am. I can be even happier just because he is happy, with me.
"I was so nervous when you were watching the video." Yuzu says as we walk in the subway station. "You didn't say a word till the end of the video."
"That's because I am so focused in your skating.