"She's a sugar addicted superfan with over 16 Total Drama blogs, Sierra!"
Inara's now-older sister rushed out of the bus. "Oh my God I love you guys! And this is the greatest moment of my life and-!" Sierra breathed heavily. "Does anyone have a paper bag I can breathe into?"
"Oh my gosh, Cody!" She ran over to the boy. "I've been dreaming of this moment my entire life, only you weren't wearing a shirt,"
"And!" Chris interrupted. "She's the only normal one in her family of crazy fan girls slash boys, with her obsessive love being for reading and writing rather than people, Inara!"
Inara stepped off of the bus steps and looked around. All of her favourite characters from the previous seasons stared back.
"That was probably the lamest introduction you could have given me Chris," Inara said.
Chris shrugged. "What can I say? You're not very interesting," Inara scowled.
The plane rolled through the runway. Inara cringed. She forgot how unsafe it was.
"Um, excuse me Chris, I would like to express some concerns regarding the safety of our plane," Courtney put her hand up.
"Relax, it's totally safe!" A piece of metal fell off, revealing the plane's shoddy interior. "Now boarding!"
"No! You can't make me go in there!" Owen freaked out. "Call the United Nations! Call a cab! Call my mom!"
Chris hit him on the head with a frying pan. Inara cringed again at the noise it made, and the fat boy's mistreatment.
"Any other objections?" Chris asked.
"Nope,"
"Love it!"
"Dibs on the window seat!"
Everyone piled on, including Inara. However reluctant, she didn't want to get hit over the head with a frying pan and end up like Owen.
She ended up sitting next to Noah. He had always been one of her favourite characters, so she was internally fangirling.
Across the room, Sierra was creeping everyone out with her extensive knowledge about Cody. Then she switched to talk about someone different.
"Did you know that when we were younger, Inara drew me a picture of Cody and I together? The funny part is, Total Drama wasn't even airing at the time,"
"How did Inara get the drawing to you?" Courtney asked, suspicious.
"Because Inara's my dear younger sister of course!" Sierra said happily. "And one day, it'll be just me, her, and Cody,"
Sierra stared dreamily off into the distance. The surrounding contestants looked at each other, worried.
On the other side of the room, Inara was getting fired question after question.
"So, why did you join Total Drama?" Noah asked. Inara thought that she didn't have an answer, considering she only woke in this universe that morning, but her mouth moved automatically.
"Sierra wanted me to," Inara said, shrugging. "She was worried that I would get lonely at home without her,"
"Would you have joined if she wasn't in the picture?" D.J questioned.
"This flying death-trap full of psychos?" Inara smiled. "No way,"
After an 11-hour flight and a shitty song (that Inara had honestly enjoyed singing) they arrived at their first challenge. Egypt.
"Shit, its hot out here," Inara said, pulling at her oversized black hoodie. "I guess that's normal for this area,"
"Welcome to your first challenge," Chris said. "Pyramid over-under!"
"It's called that because you can choose how to get to the finish line. Either under the pyramid, or over!"
There were a couple of complaints, but soon they were let go.
"Oh great, our friendly neighbourhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths," Noah said, staring at the dividing pathways that had to be chosen.
Everyone picked a path to go down. Inara somehow ended up with Owen, Izzy, and Noah. She walked beside them and didn't contribute much to the conversation.
Once they were inside a room with mummy bandages, Izzy said. "Oh, look! We're in the nurse's office!"
"It's a pyramid, not a high school," Noah said.
"Mmm, I don't know," Inara grinned. "Maybe Ancient Egyptians had pyramid schools! This could totally pass as a thousand-year-old nurse's office!"
Noah swore he felt an arrow stab straight through his heart.
"Costume party!" Izzy exclaimed. "Mummy me!"
She tossed some Egyptian bandages to Owen, Noah, and Inara. Inara giggled and quickly began wrapping up her new friend. Owen joined in afterwards and was followed by an extremely reluctant Noah.
Meanwhile, with Sierra and Heather, Sierra was talking about Inara.
"-And that's why I occasionally let Inara help me with my Noah-blog. He's her favourite,"
"Wonderful," Heather said through gritted teeth.
"And also, this one time, I caught Inara watching a Noco video on her phone, so I broke it, and it took her two months to buy a new one,"
Heather was finding herself extremely uncomfortable. "Okay..."
"Did you know that Inara's only had one boyfriend and he only lasted a month? Wanna know why?"
"No, not rea-,"
"Because I scared him away! No-one is good enough for my little sister! It was such a shame, she liked him a lot,"
Heather cleared her throat. "Well, that's lovely and all, but can we please focus on getting out of here?"
"Okay!"
"Izzy? Izzy!?" Owen called out.
"Dude, she's lost. We gotta go," Noah said, reaching over to hold Inara's hand, but quickly moved away out of embarrassment. Inara smiled sheepishly at him.
"Oh, poor Iz," Owen put a hand to his forehead.
"Poor Iz?" Noah blinked. "She kept insisting that we walk around in circles because she 'smelled something lucky',"
"Uh, I think that might have been my fault," Owen let out a fart. "Airplane food," he said as he pet his ass.
Inara felt vomit rise up her throat at the smell and she hid behind Noah.
"Sorry,"
By this point, people had started exiting the pyramid. Leshawna, Harold, and DJ had started compiling the first team.
Back underneath the pyramid, Noah and Inara had found something.
"Hey Owen! We found Izzy!"
Standing in the middle of the room was a person wrapped in mummy bandages.
"Say, you do make a cute mummy," Owen walked over. "You got a kiss for Big O..."
As Owen leaned in for a kiss, the mummy leaned away.
Noah caught on quickly. "That's not Izzy! Run!"
Alejandro moved to stand behind the number 2 spot. He looked extremely annoyed about something.
"If it's any consolation you get," Chris gestured to the pyramid.
Tyler fell down the pyramid to land at the finish line. He probably had a concussion.
Then Owen, Noah, and Inara came running out of the bottom of the pyramid screaming their heads off. With the way they were positioned, it looked like Noah was dragging Inara along.
"That's...wonderful!" Alejandro put on a fake smile.
Then he left to swear his ass off in the toilet/confessional.
As they waited for everyone else to arrive, Inara enjoyed some more small talk with Noah. He was starting to really enjoy her company.
Unfortunately, Sierra ended up being placed on the same team as them. Inara sighed. She really couldn't escape, could she?
Noah watched Sierra give Inara the biggest bear hug with his eyebrows furrowed. Inara didn't look very happy. But she did when she was with him. Surely that meant something, right? It must!
After watching Duncan quit the show, Chris explained the second part of the challenge. Inara was distracted by the goat that Chris had given them as their 'reward'. Noah was half-distracted by Inara and how cute he thought she was.
The next thing that Inara properly registered, she was running away from a bunch of angry scarab beetles while riding the goat squashed in between Tyler and Noah after singing a song that could be dumbed down to being about scarab beetle sex.
Man, her life had taken a full 180, hadn't it? This would have never happened before!
During the ride, Inara tried to understand what they were doing. She had asked her team, but most of them groaned and didn't answer the question. Luckily, Sierra told her.
Noah had wanted to, but dammit! He couldn't lean forward to whisper it in her ear! Stupid, fuck-all weight distribution! Now Sierra got that credit! Damn it all!
Soon, they reached the Nile.
"Hey, there's the finish line!" Tyler said happily.
"Yeah, on the other side!" Noah shouted, still irritated by Sierra.
"Welcome to the third and final part of your challenge!" Chris said from the other side of the river.
"What!? Speak up!" Owen yelled back.
Chris sighed. "Welcome to the third and final part of your challenge!"
No-one heard him that time either.
Chris, getting really annoyed, snapped his fingers. One of his interns brought him an oversized megaphone, to which he started screaming into.
"WELCOME TO THE THIRD AND FINAL PART OF YOUR CHALLENGE!!!" He was so loud that Inara had to cover her ears. "Make a canoe using those reeds and sail across the Nile to the finish line! And remember, your boat had to be big enough to fit your entire team, including goat-face over there!"
"Hey!" Tyler said, offended.
"I'm pretty sure he was talking about the literal goat," Inara pointed out, gesturing to the goat that was next to Alejandro.
"Oh, this is perfect!" Sierra said happily.
"What, the fact that we're hosed?" Noah asked.
"Inara and I are 4th generation basket weavers!"
Inara stood up straight. She was? Ah shit, she forgot about that detail. She didn't know how to weave a basket!
"We're gonna need a lot more reeds," Sierra ran over and started collecting a bunch.
"So. A basket weaver, huh?" Alejandro said to Inara.
"Uh, I guess. But Sierra's always been much better at it than I have," Inara said, shrugging slowly. "I prefer to stay in my room,"
Alejandro grinned knowingly. "To read and write,"
Inara muttered "And draw," under her breathe. Alejandro heard it, and his smile became a bit more genuine.
Soon Sierra was working hard on the basket-boat. Inara helped out a little bit, but mostly stayed out of her way.
Once Team Amazon, or the lady's team (lol Cody) arrived, they got to work. They were a lot more annoyed at the challenge. They didn't know how to weave a boat.
That was until Sierra went up to talk to them.
"You're so lucky," Izzy said. "You have Owen on your team! And Inara! They're both super cute! When Owen breathes, his nose whistles the national anthem!"
"Cute," Sierra agreed. "But he's no Cody. Did you know that Cody slept with a stuffed emu named Jerry until he was-well, okay. He still does,"
"And you know this how?" Inara interrupted.
"Oh Inara, you know! I called his aunt once! I pretended I was a telemarketer!"
"Ooooh, stalkerlicious," Noah chimed in.
"I know! Why don't we switch teams!" Izzy suggested. "Then we can both be with who we find cute!"
"Trade a nut case for a nut case that can weave a boat?" Heather said from on top of the camel their team had. "Go ahead. Switch teams,"
"But wait!" Sierra cried before turning to Inara. "Are you okay with me swapping teams? Will you be alright?"
"Go for it," Inara tried not to seem too enthusiastic. "I'll be fine. I've got a Noah-it-all," She put an arm around him without warning, and they both almost fell into the sand.
Sierra managed to convince Chris to allow the swap, and it was final.
The one downside to Sierra being gone was the Inara was now expected to finish off the boat. The problem?
Inara didn't know how to weave a basket, let alone half of an entire boat!
Well, at least her head didn't. But her body did, apparently.
She wasn't as fast as Sierra was, but still. She did a pretty good job. Decently soon, they had a completed basket-boat.
During that time, Courtney had told Izzy to tell 'Ruby' (A.K.A, the camel) to "Get in the boat!". Noah intervened, reminding them that Izzy was on their team now.
"Not a word,"
"Ooooh, fun!"
Soon, they were half-way across the Nile. Alejandro, getting cocky, told Izzy to tell the camel to get into the Amazon's (completed) boat.
"And now we lose," Inara sighed, recalling what little she knew about the current season.
"Don't be discouraged comrade!" Alejandro said. "There is no way for them to catch up to us!"
"Comrade!?" Inara snapped to look at him, horribly offended. "Do I look like a communist to you?! Wait-," She recalled a story that she wrote when she was 12. "Don't answer that,"
Alejandro blinked, heavily confused at his teammate's outburst.
After paddling until their arms fell off, singing a song asking the crocodiles not to eat them, and almost getting eaten by the same crocodiles, everyone reached the finish line safely.
The Amazons came in first, as Inara predicted, with Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot (them) next and Team Victory in last.
Inara glared at Alejandro. "What did I tell you,"
'Lesson learnt' Alejandro noted. 'Always listen to Inara'.
Sierra, when she had been on their team, had wanted to name them 'Team Inara Is Super Duper Duper Duper Adorable', but it was quickly shut down, to Inara's immense relief. So Sierra called it Team Chris Is Really Hot instead. (Author is too lazy to write all of the really's)
Team Victory lost, due to not bringing their stick over the finish line. The managed to lose a fucking stick.
Yeah, Ezekiel fed it to a crocodile. Darn shame.
So, even they didn't lose, they were stuck in economy class. Everyone wined and complained, aside from Inara.
She took a deep breath. "Smells like home," She said as she want to go sit on one of the benches and have a nap. Noah followed her.
However, the peace didn't last long. Soon, Sierra busted down the door like she was the Kool-Aid man and picked Inara up bridal style.
"Oh, Inara! Your coming to first class with me! We're gonna have so much fun!"
As she got carried away, Inara cast a look of 'HELP ME!' to her teammates. None of them responded with more than a guilty face.