I received another BL request.
Warnings include: Substance abuse, cheating, and explicit yaoi
Enjoy!
How to Love a Loser* Part One (Kurapika x Male Reader)
(Y/N)
Thunder claps in the distance, warning us of the storm that's about to come.
"Aww, man!" My friend punches the air. "Now what?"
"We can go back to my place. My parents are still out of town," my other friend says. He turns to me. "What do ya say, (Y/N)? Wanna finish this party at my place?"
I raise my hand and wave them off. I open my mouth to answer, but someone beats me to it.
This person grabs my arm and pulls me away from my friends. He scowls at them.
"No, he's not interested. And I warned you before...if I see you out here again with that stuff, I'll have you both arrested!"
My friend lifts his hands, pretending to surrender. "Oh, no...it's the hunter!" he says.
My other friend holds his abdomen, laughing. "Don't tell my mommy, please!"
The blonde doesn't look amused. "This is your last warning."
He turns around, still holding my arm.
"Hey, where are you taking (Y/N)?"
Instead of answering, he picks up his pace. We both walk down the alley. It's getting darker as the gray clouds cover the sky.
Once we are out of sight, he pushes me against the brick wall.
I rub my back. "Ouch...was that necessary?"
The blonde stares at me. He lifts his right hand. A metal ball falls out of his sleeve.
"Are you a part of the drug problem?"
I shake my head. "No way...I've never touched the stuff."
We both stare intently on the ball. It doesn't move.
He lifts it up and catches it in his hand. "Good. Now come with me."
That's how I met my boyfriend, Kurapika. We've been together for a little over a year now.
I watch as he grabs a mouthful of noodles with his chopsticks. He stares at them for a few seconds, then puts them back down. He takes a deep breath.
"Move in with me, (Y/N)."
I almost fall out of my seat. The other customers glance our way. It is, after all, a small ramen house.
I compose myself. "Ku...Kurapika? Are you serious?"
He nods. His cheeks turn a bright red.
I didn't know our relationship was headed in that direction. Trust me, I'm not complaining. It's just...neither one of us has said 'I love you' yet.
"Do you even have room for me? You live in a tiny studio," I remind him.
He reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. He places it on the table. "I bought a bigger apartment. That's your key, if you want it."
My jaw drops as I stare at the key. My heart is racing, making it hard for me to speak. "Y...yes!"
You'd think he just proposed to me by the stares we are getting. The server even offers us a free dessert!
___
Leorio, Gon, and Killua help us put together our new furniture from IKEA. Once they leave, Kurapika grabs my hands. We stare at each other, neither of us moving. The sounds of car alarms and sirens from the city below fill the room.
"What now?" I finally break the silence.
He pulls me in. He places one hand behind my neck, and the other on my lower back. I expect him to kiss me, but he doesn't. Instead, he brushes his lips over mine. Like feathers, they barely touch my lips. I let in a quick breath of air, wanting more. He rests his forehead against mine. I can feel his long lashes on my face as he closes his eyes.
As much as I want to push him against the wall and devour him, I don't. I can tell he has something on his mind.
I reach under his shoulders, resting my hands on his shoulder blades. "What is it, baby?"
"(Y/N), I...I'm sorry. I don't normally open up like this."
Trust me, I know. But I'm cool with it because somehow, I won the boyfriend lottery.
He combs my hair back with his fingers. He squeezes his eyes shut. He's so damn cute. I don't know why he's scared to tell me what we both already know. "(Y/N)...I..."
I swipe my tongue over his lower lip. Smooth...like...butter. I smile against his lips. "I love you, too, Kurapika."
He jumps back with widened eyes. "(Y/N)? How did you know what I was going to say?"
I play with the stray strands of his hair. He has some on top of his head that seem to always want to sway to the left. It's fucking adorable.
"Because I feel the same way. Besides, why else would you ask me to move in with you?"
He rests his head on my shoulder. "Life is so much better with you in it. Thank you for that, (Y/N). I love you."
I hold his chin between my thumb and index finger, tilting his face toward mine. "Hey. You're the one who saved me. I'd probably be dead in an alley if it weren't for you."
He finally kisses me, looking into my eyes. A moan escapes my throat as my eyes roll behind my head. I feel his tongue caress mine. I take greedy pulls on it.
I guess the oxygen supply between our faces isn't enough because we both pull away, gasping for air.
"Wanna try out our new bed?" I say.
"Yes," he breathes out.
We look around our new bedroom with smiles plastered on our faces. The smell of new furniture fills my nostrils. My eyes fall on our queen-sized bed. My heart skips a beat as I think about waking up to Kurapika every morning. I take a few steps toward the bed, pulling down the deep red comforter.
I look at Kurapika. He's still looking at the bed.
"You okay?" I say.
I must have taken him out of some kind of trance. Why is he hesitating? It's not like this would be our first time. Does he regret asking me to move in?
"Kurapika?"
He closes the distance between us. He presses his hands against my chest, eyes focused on my lips. "(Y/N), I failed to mention something important to you."
"Yeah, what's up?" I honestly want nothing more than to be inside of him. I pull my shirt off to distract him.
He runs his fingers down my chest. "Uh...we'll talk later."
I look down at his suit pants. A smile plays on my lips when I notice his erection.
We crawl into bed once we finish undressing. We lay on our backs, enjoying the comfort our new mattress provides.
I think about the word our. We share everything now. Nothing is only his, and nothing is only mine. Not even our bodies.
We turn on our sides, facing each other. I swallow hard when I feel his fingers wrap around my penis. I slide my hand across the sheets to grab his. I stroke the silky head with my thumb. Precum seeps out of the slit, slowly coating my hand.
He moans, moving closer to me. Our lips meet again and I can't help but think about our first kiss.
"So Kurapika...are you going to kiss me, or what?"
He stops dead in his tracks.
I let go of his hand, watching him slowly turn around to face me.
"Uh...excuse me?"
I hear my heart pounding in my ears. We've been dating for three months now. What is he waiting for?
A cold breeze blows between us. His blonde hair sways back and forth, exposing his earring. If I knew how to paint, I'd definitely paint the way he's looking at me right now. The streetlights cast an orange glow around his porcelain face. His wanting eyes glare through me, big and wide. His cute little mouth is partly open and I just want to take all of him right here...right now. I don't care who sees.
He takes a few steps towards me. His loafers clap against the concrete. Strangers walk past us. They have no idea that two hearts desperately want to become one.
I feel his hand rest on my cheek. He closes his eyes. His breath tickles my lips as he exhales.
"(Y/N), the truth is...I'm afraid."
I pull back, furrowing my brow. "Afraid of what?"
He places his hand behind my neck. "I'm afraid once I kiss you, I won't be able to stop."
I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. My heart fills with warmth. I wonder if this is what love feels like.
I place my hands under his suit jacket, resting them on his hips. I close my eyes. As I pull him forward, I tilt my head like they do in the movies. My lips brush his, and my heart beats so fast, I'm afraid I might pass out.
He kisses my lips. I wait patiently for more. I'll give him three seconds.
One...two...three...
He presses his lips against mine, harder this time. He uses his tongue to part my lips. I wish I was leaning against a wall because I'm afraid my knees might give out. If his kiss was a color, it would definitely be red. Hot as fire. A flashing light...warning me that once I dive in, I might never be able to come back up to the surface. And finally, spicy. Like red hots.
We both lost our virginities that night. We spent the rest of that week locked up in his apartment discovering each other. It didn't take long to find out he's a bottom and I'm a top.
Kurapika breaks our kiss, releasing me. He rolls onto his stomach. I smile. That means he's ready for me.
I take my position between his legs. I run my hands up and down his back. He closes his eyes, resting his hands on either side of his head.
I spread his cheeks, exposing him. He's already gripping the sheets by the time my face is inches from him. I lick my lips, making sure they're wet. I move closer, pressing my tongue against his rim. I lick him using a circular motion. I just started and he's already squirming beneath me. I flatten my tongue and run it up and down. I add more pressure, circling his rim again. When my tongue gets tired, I pull away a few centimeters. I open my mouth and breathe out warm air to relax his muscles. I leave a few kisses before pointing my tongue and inserting it inside of him.
Afraid he'll come early, I pull my tongue out. I lift myself up and reach out to grab the lube inside the bedside table drawer. I squirt a generous amount on my fingers. I spread his cheeks again, slowly pressing a finger inside of him. I add a second finger. Instead of pulling them in and out like I did with my tongue, I use my fingers to stretch him open. The last thing I want to do is hurt him.
I reach down and comb his hair away from his ear with my free hand. "Ready for me, baby?"
"Y...yeah."
I pull my fingers out and wait for him to position himself on his back. He spreads his legs and looks at me with half-lidded eyes.
I squirt the lube on my dick and around his rim. I pick up one of his legs and press the head of my dick inside of him. I gently enter. I clench my teeth. As much as I want to ram him like a jackhammer, I hold back, checking on him when I'm about a third of the way in.
I know he's ready for more when he starts to pull his hips upward. I allow him to adjust once I'm all the way inside. He takes my face into his hands and stares at me with his compelling eyes.
"I'm all yours. Now...take me," he says.
Damn. The sound of his sexy voice travels through my ears, straight to my...ahh...I pull back just a little then push back in. He feels so fucking tight and warm, I don't know how I'm going to last.
I squeeze my eyes shut. I know I'll come if I stare at him. I want to show him just how much he means to me. I start with a slow pace, moving faster and harder when his moans become louder.
I'm pretty sure the bed is across the room by now. He wraps his legs around my waist, pulling me in deeper. I press my tongue against his neck, kissing the sweet spot under his earlobe. The sounds of our moans and heavy breathing echo throughout the walls.
I lift my body up and reach down with my dominant hand. I stroke his dick, bringing him closer to his climax. Pleasure ripples throughout my body as his warm fluid shoots out.
I call out his name and make some strange noises as I fill him. My body shakes involuntarily like I'm having a seizure. This high is so intense, I forget how to breathe. My orgasm lasts longer than it usually does, and I might pass out if it doesn't subside soon. I pump in and out of Kurapika a few more times until I finally fall on top of him.
We both breathe heavily as we recover.
As soon as I catch my breath, I pull out, watching my cum pour out of him. A sense of pride fills me. Kurapika chose me. I vow to never fuck that up.
___
Kurapika
Do they think I'm stupid? I watch the three of them pass each other pills from the other side of the alley. Well...I see two of them participate in the exchange. You just watch. I can tell you don't want to be there. I'm not bragging, but I'm good at reading people.
Their drug activity has caused a major disturbance in the area. Mothers are afraid to walk their children to school. High school students walk out of their way to avoid these troublemakers. As a hunter, I have every right to stop them.
I stomp over to them right before one of them ingests a pill. His dark hair hangs below his shoulders. The other one is laughing. He most likely already has drugs in his system. His hair is also dark, but not as long. His bangs cover one of his eyes.
You watch them, expressionless. If anything, I'll try to break you away from the group. I've been watching them for weeks now, and as far as I know, you've never participated.
I grab your arm, taking you away from your so-called friends. I'll call and have those two arrested.
I ask you if you've ever participated in drug activity. You tell me no, and based on my dowsing chain, you're telling me the truth.
And that's how we met. You don't know this, but you saved me from falling into a deep dark hole of depression. You see, up until that day, I've been following false leads. Leads that were supposed to take me to the eyes of my people. Frustrated, I was on my way to the church to beg for forgiveness.
"You can't find them all in one day, Kurapika. Take your time. Be patient. The right leads will fall into your lap and you'll retrieve them. Every last pair."
That's when I knew I was falling in love.
I took your advice. I spent the past year focusing on you instead of obsessing over the scarlet eyes. I must admit, you were right. I now feel focused and ready to begin my mission again.
But...as I lay here with your arm wrapped around me, I can't help but feel...fearful. Not about the mission, but about losing you. Everyone who comes into my life seems to disappear.
I feel your fingers graze my skin as you run them up and down my arm. "(Y/N), I...failed to mention something to you."
You kiss my shoulder. "Oh, right. What did you fail to mention, baby?"
You're always mocking me, which I find amusing.
"Uh...I'll be continuing my quest. I need to find the remaining scarlet eyes."
You take a deep breath. "Yeah. I figured as much."
I turn around to face you. "Do you find that acceptable? I know I just asked you to move in with me...and now here I am telling you I'm about to leave."
You don't make eye contact with me. Instead, you play with my earring. "It's fine, Kurapika. I knew this day was coming. I just...I don't know...I worry about you out there."
I kiss your lips. "You have nothing to fear. I'll return to you unharmed. I promise."
You bury my head into your chest. "I know. It's just going to feel like hell without you here."
"Will you promise me something?" I lift my head to face you.
You finally look into my eyes. "Yeah. Of course."
"Don't leave me."
Your forehead crinkles. "Why would I leave you? You're the love of my life. I'll wait a hundred forevers for you."
I fall asleep in your arms wearing a smile on my face.
___
(Y/N)
I can't keep my leg from shaking. When Kurapika told me he had something to give me before he left, I didn't expect him to blow me.
He gets off his knees and stands in front of me, wiping the corner of his mouth. "I'll call you as soon as I land."
I grip the arms of the chair. My brain is still trying to process what just happened.
"Kurapika...I..."
He smiles. "I love you, too, (Y/N)."
I finally recover once he makes it to the front door. I run after him.
"Hey." I take his hand and place it against my lips. "Be careful." I leave kisses on his knuckles. "I'll miss you."
He takes his hand from mine and cups my cheek. "And I'll miss you. I can't promise I'll get any sleep, but I'll try. It's going to be difficult without you beside me."
I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. I mean...he's a hunter. This is what he does.
I wrap my arms around him, pulling him close. I grip the back of his head, inhaling his hair. Fuck. I want to beg him not to go, but that wouldn't be very supportive of me. And I want to be supportive. He's done so much for me, it's the least I can do.
"I love you, baby. Think about me," I say.
"I love you, too. And you think about me."
Our lips meet, and I'm hoping he can tell how much I don't want him to leave by the way I'm kissing him.
He breaks away from me. "I'll see you soon."
I watch as he walks out the front door.
He waves at me as the elevator doors close.
I shut the door, feeling the ache in my heart as I lock it. I turn around and lean up against the door. I let out a deep breath as I slide to the floor.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes. Kurapika doesn't want me spending my time missing him like this. I get up from the floor and walk to the kitchen.
Damn. Nothing to eat. I guess I have an excuse to leave the empty apartment.
I decide to take a shortcut back home from the grocery store. Since I only bought food for one, I didn't have to call a cab. Besides, I don't mind the walk.
I see three people around my age from the corner of my eye as I walk down a familiar alley.
"Hey, (Y/N)!" a voice calls.
I look over my shoulder. Dammit.
I stop walking, pulling down the arm that's carrying the groceries. I put on a fake smile. "Hey, guys. It's been a while since I've seen you around."
"Yeah. Thanks to your boyfriend, we spent some time in jail," my old friend, Jiro says. His hair is still long like I remember.
My other old friend, Isa, walks up to me. His eyes land on my groceries. "Look at you, (Y/N)! All domesticated and shit."
I look at my bags then back at him. "Yeah. I better get going. It was nice to see you guys."
A petite girl appears out of the shadows. Her long blonde hair sways back and forth as she walks toward me. "What? Nobody's gonna introduce me?" She crosses her arms and taps her high-heeled boot on the concrete.
Jiro practically skips toward us. "Yeah, this is Tilly. She sells the good stuff!"
I wince. The good stuff? Isn't that why Kurapika sent you to jail?
Isa wraps his arm around Tilly. "Yeah, and wanna hear the best part? She loves to fuck." He runs his hands down her black corset.
I wince again. "Uh...I'm gay, remember?"
Tilly keeps her eyes focused on me, raising an eyebrow.
I look down, feeling uncomfortable. "Anyway, it was nice to meet you. You guys stay out of trouble, okay?"
I check my phone as soon as I get home. Zero texts. Damn, Kurapika's been gone for only a few hours, and I already feel so...lonely. How did I live before him? It's not like I had a loving family who welcomed me home after school each day. Nope. That's how I ended up being friends with Jiro and Isa. They defended me at school. I just didn't know they were drug users. Regardless, I still hung out with them. It was better than being by myself.
They never pressured me into trying any. They would offer, I'd decline, and they'd go about their business. I must admit, it was actually quite entertaining to watch.
I warned them about the hunter who was keeping an eye on us. Who knew I'd end up falling in love with that hunter.
I put away my groceries as soon as I get back home. A small bag drops from the counter as I fill the rice container. I pick it up, inspecting its contents. Inside the clear bag is a pill and a note.
Hey there, (Y/N)!
Here's a free sample. If you need more, you know where to find me.
Tilly
P.S. It's just an Oxy so don't freak out.
She must have snuck this into my bag when I wasn't looking. But...when did she write this note?
I roll my eyes and toss the bad aside. I'm not going to waste brain cells thinking about her.
I hear my phone vibrate when I get out of the bath.
I rush to answer it. I grin from ear to ear when I see my love's smiling face on the screen. I press accept and place the phone against my ear.
"Kurapika!" I can't contain my excitement.
"(Y/N)! You sound out of breath. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I actually just stepped out of the shower and ran when I heard my phone."
"I wish I was there to see."
"You and I both," I say. I look down and watch as my hand involuntarily wraps itself around my growing erection. "Uh...how was your flight?"
Kurapika answers, giving me details about his flight and hotel room. I try to listen, but the sound of his voice is all I can focus on.
"Sleep well, my love. I'll be home as soon as I complete my mission," he says.
"Please...rush back to me. I love you."
"And I love you. You're a dream come true."
I'm back in the shower when I end my call, cleaning up the mess I just made on myself.
I swear, when he gets back, I'm going to marry him.
___
An entire month goes by and I haven't heard back from Kurapika.
"You know he'd call you before me. But I'll let you know if I hear anything," says Leorio.
"Right. Okay. Just thought I'd ask."
"Hang in there, buddy."
I end my call with Leorio and pace the house.
Another month goes by. Nothing. I'm so worried about Kurapika, it makes me sick to my stomach.
I flush the toilet when I finish emptying the contents of my stomach. I brush my teeth and walk back to our bedroom. I look out the window and watch the rain fall from the sky. I wonder if it's raining where Kurapika's at.
I lay down on the bed, running my hand over my face. I turn on my side and grab Kurapika's pillow. Tears are actually pouring down my cheeks as I squeeze his pillow. If I had one wish, it would be to have all the scarlet eyes so he wouldn't have to search for them anymore.
I hop out of bed and walk to the kitchen. I make myself a cup of ginger tea. Kurapika swore by ginger. He said it was the best medicine for an upset stomach.
But...is it good for a heartache?
I open the drawer to pull out a spoon and notice the little baggie Tilly left me. I never threw that shit away.
Hmm...Oxy. That's a pain pill. Maybe that will take away this agony. I pop it into my mouth and swallow it with my tea. Couldn't hurt, right?
Thirty minutes later, I'm sitting in bed, laughing. I don't get it. Not even an hour ago, I was crying like a kid who just found out they were about to be fed to a demon. Now...I'm cracking up. The thing is, I don't even know what's so funny. Kurapika's still gone and I still miss him. It just doesn't hurt so much.
Twenty-four hours later, I'm in a state of depression again. Damn...it hurts worse than yesterday. I thrash in bed, thinking Kurapika is in a ditch, hurt. Or...
I don't even want to think about it.
I throw on some clothes and open my front door. I walk until I reach a the alley.
"Hey, Isa. Have you seen Tilly?" I say.
His face brightens. "You want to see Tilly?"
I look down at my feet, ashamed. "Uh...yeah."
He raises an eyebrow. "Wait. You're not going to tell your hunter about her, right?"
I kick a soda can toward the pile of garbage at the end of the alley. "No. I just want to thank her for the sample she gave me."
He smiles again. "I can tell you where she lives."
He gives me the name of the building she lives in. It's some ritzy place close to where Leorio lives.
I'm welcomed by a doorman who escorts me to Tilly's floor. I guess her business is doing well if she lives in a high-class place like this.
I hesitate before knocking on her door. What the hell am I doing? I pull my phone out of my pocket. Still no calls from Kurapika. I take a deep breath, feeling like someone is squeezing the blood out of my heart. Right. I'm here in hopes she'll give me something to take this feeling away.
As soon as she opens the door, I'm welcomed by a rancid smell that travels through my nose to my throat. I cough.
"Hey, (Y/N)! It's about time," she says.
Out of habit, I take off my shoes before entering. However, by the looks of her place, she probably doesn't care.
"Hey." I look around her apartment. It looks like it would be a nice place if she'd clean it. Dishes overflow the sink and clothes are scattered everywhere. "Nice place."
"Thanks!" She walks me toward her bedroom. "Like your friend told you, I only sell the good stuff. And thanks to my business degree, I do very well."
I kick a pile of clothes that are blocking my path. "If you do so well, why don't you hire someone to clean your apartment?"
She lets out a laugh. "The mess doesn't bother me."
I can't wait to get out of here. Even though my apartment is already spotless, I'm cleaning as soon as I get home.
Tilly walks into her massive closet.
"You coming?"
I follow her inside. It's the only place in her apartment that's organized. She unlocks one of many safes. I look inside. A gun sits on the top rack. I wonder if she ever had to use it.
A variety of pill bottles sit on the shelf below the gun. She studies the labels while twirling her hair.
"Let's see. I gave you fifteen milligrams last time." She turns her head to face me. "Wanna try thirty?"
I feel sweat drops form on my forehead as my heart rate increases. I've never done anything like this before.
"Uh...sure."
She pulls out a small bag similar to the one she snuck into my groceries. "How many would you like?"
"Uh...I don't know. How much do they cost?"
"I usually charge twelve thousand jenny each, but I like you. How about I give them to you for free?"
My eyes widen. "For...free? What's the catch?"
She laughs. "We fuck, silly."
I scratch the back of my head. "Uh...I'm gay. And I have a boyfriend."
She waves her hand in the air. "Oh, right. I forgot. Does your boyfriend want any pills?"
"No. That's why I'm here. He's out on a mission and I miss him so badly, it hurts."
Her face softens. "Oh...my...Kami. That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard!"
I look away. Why the hell am I telling her my personal business? I guess that's what happens when you're lonely. I'd usually talk to Leorio, Gon, or Killua, but they're busy with their own lives.
Tilly puts a few pills inside of the bag. "I wish someone would love the same way you love your boyfriend."
Well...maybe if you didn't fuck your customers, you'd find love.
"Hey, Tilly? Mind if I ask you a personal question?"
She stands up and hands me the bag. "Go ahead."
"How do you make money if you use sex as payment?"
She places her hand on my chest. "Only my special clients get that treatment."
I swallow hard. "How much do I owe you?"
She tilts her head. "Let's see. Five times twelve...just give me twenty-four jenny. That's still a hell of a discount."
I pull my wallet out of my pocket. "I really appreciate it."
I pop a pill as soon as I get home. The bitter taste stays in the back of my throat.
I walk into my bedroom and sit on my bed. I grab Kurapika's pillow, falling backward as soon as the euphoria kicks in.
Fuck...this is so much better than the last one she gave me. I look at the ceiling. I watch as my problems evaporate into thin air. I feel like I'm a rollercoaster, similar to the way I feel when I'm on top of Kurapika. I think about my perfect boyfriend. Boyfriend...ha! That man is going to marry me. We're going to have sex all the time. Ah...sex with Kurapika. I bet that would feel incredible right now.
I fall into blissful sleep. Instead of eating breakfast when I wake up the next day, I pop another pill.
Those five pills don't last and I find myself walking back to Tilly's apartment building.
She laughs when she sees me standing at the front door.
"I knew you'd be back for more." She invites me inside.
Heat rises to my cheeks. "Yeah, they really help with the heartache."
She wraps her arm around my shoulders. "Your boyfriend hasn't called you yet?"
I shake my head.
"Poor guy. Tell you what...I have something else that might work better for your situation."
"Uh...those pills worked just fine."
She releases me. "If you say so. But if you find yourself needing something stronger, let me know."
___
I stare at my leftover cash. There's barely any left for food. Luckily, I don't eat much.
Tilly welcomes me back inside of her apartment. It actually smells nice. I take in my surroundings.
"Hey, you cleaned up," I say, following her back into her room.
She pulls her hair to the front. "Yeah, I took your advice and hired a maid." She turns around and smirks at me. "Guess what? Instead of asking for a tip, she ate me out!"
I've never met anyone who was so open about their sex life. I look away, feeling uncomfortable. "Oh. Anyway...can we get straight to business?"
I take my place in front of her walk-in closet. She counts out loud as she drops pills into the bag.
"Hey. I don't have a lot of cash on me, so just give me what you can."
She looks up at me. "Oh? How much do you have?"
Embarrassed, I show her my wallet. She grabs her abdomen and lets out a laugh..
"That's barely enough for two!" She puts some of the pills back in her safe. "Isn't your boyfriend a hunter? Don't they make, like, a gazillion jenny?"
"Yeah. He left me a lot of money, but I'm afraid I used it all. I'd get some more from the bank, but we never got the opportunity to put my name on his account."
"Well...that sucks." She unlocks a different safe. "I guess I can let you sample something else."
I shake my head. "Nah. The pills are fine."
She pats the empty space next to her, motioning for me to sit down.
I put down my bag and join her.
"Give me your arm," she says.
"Uh...okay."
She ties a tourniquet around my bicep. I pull my arm away.
"Hell no. I'm not getting into that shit." I untie the tourniquet.
She rolls her eyes. "It's just a free sample. One time isn't going to hurt you. Besides, it will make you feel incredible."
I pull my phone out of my pocket. Still no texts from Kurapika. I take a deep breath while I put my phone away. "Fine."
She places a powdery substance into a tiny cooker and dissolves it with what looks like sterile water. She flicks a lighter and places the cooker over the flame.
Once it's done cooking, she takes my arm and replaces the tourniquet. She rubs alcohol over my antecubital. "You've got good veins."
I don't know if that's a compliment.
She opens a syringe and I watch closely as she fills it. She places the needle at a thirty-five degree angle against my vein and locks eyes with mine. "Are you ready?"
I slowly nod.
She turns her attention back to my arm. She inserts the needle, pulling back on the plunger. Blood pours into the syringe and she unties the tourniquet. She slowly injects the liquid into my vein. Once the syringe is empty, she places a piece of gauze over the injection site and pulls the needle out.
My eyes slowly close. "Woah...what was that?"
Tilly wraps the tourniquet around her own bicep and injects herself with the drug.
"It's called a rush. Just enjoy it."
And I do. This rush of euphoria is followed by a state of calmness. An imaginary warm blanket wraps itself around my body. I no longer feel any pain or anxiety. Whatever is going on outside this apartment doesn't matter.
I open my eyes to check on Tilly. Her eyes open and close as she falls into and out of consciousness.
Damn this feels good. So...fucking...good.
___
When I wake up, my mouth is so dry, it feels like I drank a glass of sand. My skin is itchy and I can't stop myself from scratching. What happened to the state of ecstasy I was in earlier?
I lift my head and tap Tilly on the shoulder. She smiles with her eyes closed.
"Hey. I don't feel well. Is that normal?"
She slowly sits up, combing her hair with her fingers. "Yeah. How was it?"
"Fucking awesome. I wish I could afford more."
A mischievous smile crosses her face. "I take other forms of payment, you know?"
I shake my head. "No way."
She shrugs her shoulders. "Okay. I won't ask again. But...I do like you. And for that reason, I'm going to give you some more. Free of charge."
My eyes widen. "Really?"
She nods.
"Thank you. I promise to pay you back as soon as my boyfriend gets back."
Her smile fades and she looks away from me. "What if he doesn't come back?"
My heart sinks to my stomach. I need another escape. Now.
"Can I bother you for a drink of water? And the bathroom?"
After downing two glasses of ice water and freshening up in her bathroom, I meet her back in her bedroom. This time, she has all the supplies laid out on her bed. I sit down next to her.
"This time, I'm going to teach you how to do it yourself in case I'm not around," she says.
"O...okay," I say, even though I don't like the thought of sticking myself with a needle.
That beautiful feeling returns when we're finished with the process. I lay down, allowing the feeling to take over my entire body.
"Shit," Tilly says. "Did you hear that?"
I'm barely able to open my eyes. "Hear what?"
"It sounds like someone is at my door."
I ignore her.
Minutes later, I hear her arguing with a guy. I throw a pillow over my head, not wanting anything to interrupt my high.
Dammit...they come into the room.
"I knew you brought another guy home. Honestly, Tilly. When are you going to stop this shit?"
I peek under the pillow to see who she's arguing with. He's a tall guy. Boyfriend maybe? No. There's too much of a resemblance. He has blonde hair like her and the same facial features.
She flails her arms in the air. "You don't have to worry about this guy." She points at me. "He's gay. I'm only trying to help him out. Honest."
He places a hand on his hip in frustration. "Whatever you say, Tilly. Just give me the stuff."
I close my eyes.
I feel the weight of someone sitting on the bed. I open my eyes again. I see Tilly's brother shooting up. But...I don't see her anywhere.
He lays back, enjoying the rush.
He turns his head to face me. "Oh, hey. Sorry."
His blonde hair reminds me of Kurapika. "It's fine."
He smiles. "My sister gets on my nerves, but I can't complain. She's got the good shit."
"Yeah."
He moves closer to me. Too close, but...the way his hand runs up and down my arm feels so good.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he says.
"I do."
He moves his hand under my shirt. I haven't had skin on skin contact with another human in months. Him simply touching me sends a rush of euphoria to my brain.
"He's a lucky guy. You're cute."
I smile. "So are you."
He straddles me while unbuckling my belt. "Where is he?"
"On a different continent. Are you going to blow me, or what?"
He lets out a laugh. "I was planning on it. Are you okay with that?"
I throw my head back when I feel his hand wrap around my dick. "Y...yes."
He licks the precum off the head of my penis. He holds the base with his hand while sucking the head lightly with his wet lips.
He takes me into his mouth using his tongue to add pressure to my most sensitive spots. He moves up and down until I feel the back of his throat. My hips involuntarily thrust up. I grab his hair and he allows me to fuck his mouth.
My body starts to tremble. I don't know if it's the drugs or the fact that my dick is in a hot guy's mouth...maybe a combination of both...but I see stars. Like, actual fucking stars surround me as I cum down this guy's throat. I hear him swallow hard as he takes it all in one gulp. Damn...that's hot.
I melt into the mattress. I feel like I'm about to enter twilight sleep.
Shit...this guy probably wants me to return the favor.
As if reading my mind, he presses his mouth against my ear. "Don't worry about me. I have a boyfriend, too."
___
The room is barely lit when I open my eyes. The curtains are drawn open, allowing the city lights to flood in. Reality sets in and I immediately want to shoot up again.
Tilly is nearby because I can hear her voice. She's not saying anything comprehensible though. I turn over in bed and there she is. I look down and there's another girl with her.
My entire body aches as I crawl out of bed.
"Hey, don't go!" Tilly says, extending her arm out to me. "I'm sorry...I didn't want to wake you. Please wait for me. I have something to give you."
I lock myself in her bathroom. I sit on the tile floor and wait while she gets eaten out. I grab the toilet, vomiting until there's nothing left in my stomach.
I hear a knock on the door while I rinse my mouth.
I unlock it and Tilly walks in.
"Sorry about that. But hey...take this with you. My brother paid for all of it so don't worry about the money."
She hands me a bag. I look inside and my eyes grow wide when I see its contents.
"Wait...all of this?" I say.
She nods. "Hey, give me your phone."
I'm too excited to question why she wants my phone. I pull it out of my pocket and unlock the screen for her.
Her eyes widen. "Is that your boyfriend?"
I know she's referring to my wallpaper. "Yes. That's him."
"Oh...my...Kami. You two are the cutest couple ever!"
I lean against the doorframe and rake my fingers through my hair. "Thanks, but...he's too good for me. I'm sure he'll realize that soon and break up with me."
She punches my shoulder. "You shut the hell up! I haven't known you very long, but I can tell you're a wonderful person. I wanted to be friends with you the second we met."
She stares at the picture for a few more seconds before inputting her contact information.
I fall to the floor. I pull my knees up against my chest, using every ounce of strength to keep myself from crying.
Tilly kneels in front of me. "Hey. You okay?"
I fail miserably at my attempt to keep myself composed. "No, Tilly. I'm not. What if I never see him again?"
She places her hand over my heart. "Do you feel that?"
I furrow my brow. "Feel what?"
"His heart. He gave it to you, right?"
I nod.
"Well...you'd be able to feel if something bad happened to him."
I close my eyes, thinking about Tilly's words.
She pulls her hand away and replaces it with my own. I grip my chest. The tears I was trying so hard to hold back sting my eyes as they fall down my cheeks.
"You're right...he's alive."
She smiles, tucking some of my hair behind my ear. The tears won't stop pouring, dammit! I sob like a child against my knees.
"But...what if he doesn't forgive me?"
She wraps her arms around me. "I don't know what you did, but I can't imagine you doing something unforgivable."
I lift my head, staring at her through blurry eyes. "What about...cheating?"
To be continued...