He was sitting in Agnus's room.
Agnus had invited him sternly after he had not come to dinner.
Agnus was abusing the fire pit and kettle, provided for the bath, to brew tea.
He handed Morten a cup and sat down on one of the chairs, their feet in a thick dead fur laying on the ground.
"You okay?" He asked.
He was feeling his injuries in the aftermath of the wrestling match. It felt like someone had rubbed lime into the cuts, even on painkillers. But he was sure that's not what Agnus meant.
He had been upset with stabbing the cat, so purposely trying to kill something.
But today, a day later, he had considered to do away with a man and he couldn't say if he had not almost done it the moment he had Roran there. His neck, very snappable, in his grasp.
Because letting Roran win this, would potentially mean issues for a lot of people.
One life for many others...
What was it that he was turning into?
"I've not been okay with any of this from the moment I heard," he said honestly.
Agnus nodded, "I realized that a while ago," he said, taking a zip.
Morten shuddered, the tea in his hand was blistering hot.
But it didn't seem to matter for Agnus.
Who spoke, as he moved the fuming cup away from his mouth.
"I came here at my own will.
I came as a man of no good birth, but that has done things that allowed me the choice.
And I have found that you?
The two Ashes?
You are all three men that are here because your family, tribes, regions thought it was a good and honorable idea. Without questioning whether or not you wanted to... "
He took another zip of his tea.
"Or if you are even ready."
Morten wanted to open his mouth but Agnus put up a hand.
A gesture that suddenly showed Agnus's serious side, which was plain scary.
" You now find yourself, a morally good man in a situation you are obviously not ready for.
You do not want to marry a girl you do not know, you aren't ready for the responsibilities of being a husband to any woman,
let alone one of the five.
But the only other choice? Is an awful one."
He looked thoughtful, drinking more tea.
" You have no choices.
You have to get your head on straight.
You can no longer be a young man who just does things.
You have to be a young man who makes sacrifices for someone else.
This is no longer just you.
You need to, Morten, you need to do all that without losing yourself."
He sighed
"And I need you to tell me if you can,
or I will make the both of you vanish from right under the noses of this whole region."
Morten had just tried a zip of the tea and spluttered.
Did Agnus just threaten to kill him?
He stared at Agnus, his tea mug hovering under his mouth, the possibility of it being poisoned suddenly very real.
" You see, I am a man that has become something.
But any woman from my region would rather marry a horse.
Because I am in truth a scary man.
I've done things to get where I am now,
from the bastard of a prostitute,
to a man the tribes call on when shit hits the fan.
You don't know the things I have done, the things I had to do.
So you get the man I honestly am, without any judgment caused by the things I have done. "
Morten just looked at him.
He had seen a glimpse of that a moment before, maybe in that ring lifting the other plains like he was a mere inconvenience, he saw it now.
His happy, cheery, blushy and colorful appearance? Gone.
The dark stains, the clusters of freckles, contrasting hard with his pale skin made him look inhumane.
His green eyes felt unnatural, the redness of the fire behind them didn't seem to affect them much and the color just didn't feel right.
His size towered, as he sat there, one hand on a knee, the other holding the cup.
He looked back at Morten, but not, he looked right through him.
And he spoke,
" The lives of the people I cared for were horrible. I tried everything in my abilities to better them, I have but for many it was way too late.
It wasn't until recently that things truly improved. With the election of the new One."
Agnus slowly drank his tea, giving Morten time to let that line sink in
"A man alone can make things better, but I can't change the world." He spoke.
Morten blinked, a moment of anxiety passed through him with the possibility that Agnus might too abuse the position he may gain.
But that.. didn't make sense.
" She did. They did, " Agnus let out a long breath.
" They are not going to marry anyone of their own choosing.
So it might as well be me.
At least that way I can make sure they are safe, that the people that live lives at the lower end of our society get the protection they need, require.
So there won't be more mothers like mine.
No more boys like me,
that have to become monsters to save themselves and their loved ones. "
He looked into his tea mug, undoubtedly empty.
Then looked back at Morten so intensely, Morten almost fell over.
" I will make anyone that makes it to the end, that may endanger that, go up in thin air.
I will eat you if I have to. "
Morten swallowed, his hands cramped around the hot mug.
" You," Agnus continued, "You had a day today.
You showed that you are capable of that same horrific way of thinking and dealing.
You can act out what you want, in a controlled violence.
But I need you to get your priorities straight, stop crying to yourself about whatever life you might have imagined for yourself and get with the program. "
Agnus sniffed.
" We are here to bring this to a good end.
To make sure there aren't any men sneaking through the cracks with their own political agendas, shit values or worse, that might endanger what is being built by the council under its current rule.
We can not go back."
Morten blinked carefully.
Agnus had been here for this all along.
His head was going a thousand miles an hour.
But then stopped on a very specific little snippet.
" Or worse? "
He said quietly as Agnus had allowed silence.
Agnus, who had looked into the fire, looked back at him.
" Yes.
You think the men in power are happy with this little girl that suddenly banned slavery?
Meaning they have to pay their workforce?
And have to share their riches?
That they pay more taxes to provide for the people struggling at the bottom of the barrel because a few hog the money of a region and guard it jealously?
A pyramid scheme the council plans to bring to its knees soon?"
Morten had never realized this was going on.
The frozen didn't do slaves, they never had.
They lived simple lives.
There was little trade into and out of the mountains, even less outside the Frozen, riches were a good meal and a warm home.
But he could see that changing, with men like Roran, his tribe closer to the rest of the world and his wishes to be more like them.
Wealth and power driving such man forth.
" They must have plans out there to cut the snake's head off.
They thought this wedding thing would up ease the regions,
all these lords, leaders and high born being able to send in their darling son's and be part of the new order."
Agnus shook his head, looking morose," they just opened the door for someone from the outside to get close. Really close. "
Morten actually found his voice at this,
" I didn't know this, the fro-"
Agnus put his hand up again, pushing off on his knee and leaning backwards.
Looking like a massive hairless bear.
"I know, the frozen are far from all this.
Your precious mountain resources and love for small lives are truly that, precious.
You are a hard working people that never thought to enslave their own and your close knit communities share." He leaned back forward again, squinting at Morten.
" But we both know that that other frozen would sell his own mother to get one up on the rest. "
Morten nodded.
He finally dared to drink his tea.
Not because he no longer thought it poisoned, he had forgotten about that, but it was no longer scolding hot.
He had to revisit all his thoughts, he realized.
Agnus was right, he had to get with the program.
"See.." said Agnus, making Morten look up.
"..I know this isn't your battle. The Frozen have very little stakes in this.
Hell, they only had 4 men to send.
One of them an absolute disgrace.
You can go back to your mountain and no one will ever find you, I can take care of the other."
He said, gesturing, quite accurately in the direction of Morten's home.
Morten's brain cheered, going home? Yes!
He shook his head, at himself.
What was there for him back home?
That easy going life?
But.. Everyone was fine without him there.
Here? He could help Agnus, here he could actually be useful.
It wasn't that he wanted to achieve something in life, wanted to have a purpose.
It was just, he was here anyway.
If it was true that the five were changing the other regions so poverty would decrease?
That be worth something? But in truth he wanted to help Agnus if anything,
this seemed important.
And... Agnus didn't have to kill Roran if Morten stayed.
He wanted to tell himself that Agnus would keep his hands clean in that case.
But seeing Agnus, sitting there, looking into the fire. This man had done far worse.
Morten nodded.
" I want to see this through. Just, let me wrap my head around... things."
~
Agnus closed the door behind Morten, he was unsure.
He didn't doubt Morten, he was a decent guy.
But how much did Morten understand himself?
The kid had been injured, shot, attacked by a big cat, survived that whole shit show to absolutely wiped the floor with the guy who caused it the next day.
He could imagine it was like his bird attack.
He was hardy, but he worried, did he have any experience with women?
Would he still lose to Roran on something stupid as classic courtship?
He shook his head.
Rain had started falling, the sound of it banging on the rainforest was incredible,
it filled the world.
He dragged himself through the bath.
As he drained it there was a nice layer of sand in it.
He hadn't even rolled around on the ground, but it still got everywhere.
He laughed to himself, trying to imagine the amount of sand in the bathtub of the frozen.
He put on the pants he preferred to sleep in, he was all for sleeping nude in this heat, but,
not here.
He wanted to be able to jump out of bed do things without having to fear flashing his privates to someone like counselor Libby.
He walked from the bathroom, through the stupidly big sitting room and into his bedroom toweling his beard and hair dry.
His brain cursed, it had taken him a second to actually register she was there.
A woman was sitting on his bed, her back towards him, kneeled.
He rolled his eyes, these focking tests!
"Get out." He said in a threatening voice.
"I don't want any strangers doing god knows what t-"
He choked on his words as she turned.
It was one of the five.
She brushed her hair out of her face and behind her ear, turning her face upward at him.
"Oh," Agnus said stupidly.
She seemed pale, scared?
"Is the pup okay?" Agnus blurted out,
he had tried to think of reasons why she might be here and all he could come up with was that.
She was the same girl who had sat on the stage with the puppy sleeping on her.
She nodded, turning fully his way.
She seemed terrified.
Agnus wasn't sure what to do.
He wanted to approach, she seemed stressed, he wanted to calm her and ask what was going on.
But his half naked hulking mass wasn't really a good starting point.
She slowly slid off the bed and looked him straight in the face.
She was one of the shorter girls, if she reached his shoulder it would be an achievement.
Her eyes were big, dark pools of.. fear.
What was she doing?
As he thought this, she did something that he hadn't even considered an option.
She dropped the robe she was wearing.
Agnus closed his eyes, what in the gods was this?
"No, please.." He said, "please, put the robe back on... and explain?"
He heard her make a panic stricken sound.
After the sound of fabric stopped he dared to open an eye.
She was sitting on the bed again, her knees pulled to herself, the robe around her.
She seemed to shake, slightly rock.
He wanted to ask what the hell this was about. But his brain had gotten stuck on something else.
"Where's your child." He said.
She looked up at him at that.
She shook her head.
"You're telling me that's not a cesarean scar?" He frowned, concerned.
She blinked at him now,
took a moment to take him in it seemed and spoke very quietly.
"It died."
Agnus stood there for a moment, unsure what to say.
She obviously didn't come here to show him her scar.
"What.. can I do for you?" He decided on.
She just sat, her cheeks streaking wet as she blinked.
The shaking, rocking, the way she was taking her breaths.
He recognized these symptoms.
He had seen men like this after battles, horrific events and the loss of family.
"What has happened?" He tried again.
She actually replied with a shrug.
He searched his brain for any information, anything. Would have been great to not be a gigantic oaf.
" You are.. the fifth. " He said, suddenly realizing it.
She nodded very slightly, her eyes finding him again.
The fifth girl had been added later, to represent all regions they had picked another to make a complete set. It was something decided by the current council, only a short time ago.
He paused, looking at her, realizing several things at the same time.
He assumed she had been added later because she looked to be dealing with trauma of some kind, her previous life, but all 4 of the five had been 'found' god knows where and trust into this.
You looked enough like the One? Right age? You were in.
But that meant all of them could have come from different walks of life, they were all roughly the same age but there might be variety there too.
He hadn't for a moment considered this and had stupidly assumed...
he hadn't a clue what he had assumed!
His eyes shot to her arm, in the poor light he couldn't make it out.
In an impulse he moved, probably sudden and the girl winced as he stepped forward and touched her arm.
He didn't realize it, but she completely froze.
He felt her right inner lower arm, there, he thought. He looked down at the spot, exactly the right place.
Neatly, very neatly done but the body had still scared.
A slave numeral had been removed, a tattoo that used to contain information on a slave.
The origins of, the slaver that first sold the slave, the first date of sale, first use of slave.
She slowly looked up, her eyes wet and expression apologetic.
"What was your last number." He asked, unknowingly gruff.
She swallowed, in a way that felt like one had a sore throat from crying.
"6"
she whispered softly, fear coming into the apologetic expression.
Concubine.
He looked back at her arm.
She had been a concubine and at some point lost a child.
Holding her arm, which felt like an easily snappable stick, he couldn't imagine she had had a lot of children in that function.
She couldn't be older than him, the slave trade had come to a grinding hold 3 years ago.
Concubines weren't usually used before a certain age that still made Agnus internally growl.
She might have been a concubine for a whole two years, if they had seen fit to attempt to cut the child out she must have been pretty far along or even full term..
So with luck this was her only...
He questioned himself then.
Did this matter?
What the hell was he doing?
Did that make it any less?
He had blanked out in his thoughts but blinked it away.
Feeling the arm in his hands.
How can someone be cold in this humid hot place?
He looked back at her face.
What had she tried to do just now?
Why?
He had questions!
But he didn't want her anywhere near the bed.
He straightened up, releasing her arm.
"Please take a seat, there." He said,
gesturing to the cozy fur chairs in front of the fireplace that had no right existing in this climate.
She stiffened, her eyes darted from him to the chairs.
He took a few steps back. She seemed too scared to refuse and obey all at the same time.
But she did slip off the bed at that and shuffled to the chair.
She did the same thing as she'd done on the bed, she folded herself into her robes, pulling her legs against her.
He just stared at her for a moment, considering his next moves.
He shrugged to himself, he wanted to approach her in a certain way,
how he'd want to deal with someone in distress.
He wondered if he should, a hell, he shouldn't start acting all weird now?
He walked over to her, which made her look frightened, and kneeled.
Gabbing one of the arm rests to steady himself.
The candle he had lit in this room was on the table in between the chairs so he actually got a better look at her face as he kneeled, her eyes following him.
She had a smaller face than the others, a light scar on her cheek.
It gave her a permanent young look, he didn't know if being puffy from emotional distress may not make it worse.
As if it was some defense mechanism of the body to make you look like a child when crying.
"What..." he reconsidered, but plowed on anyway, "was your plan here?"
He asked quietly.
She looked at him, from behind her knees she was hugging.
She sighed, shuddered doing so and actually moved her arm to wipe her right cheek.
She inhaled and spoke, very quietly.
"I think, I was hoping," she seemed to think of how stupid she had been,
" I thought you might be okay? " She said.
Agnus tried to match the world with the situation.
She had thought he might be... okay?
Okay to present herself.. ah.
" You thought I might be okay to.. touch you?" He offered.
She nodded and blinked, " to, make me less.." she fell silent.
" Scared?" He offered and wondered if he shouldn't shut the hell up.
She nodded.
So she had tried to engage him, looking for a good... experience?
He frowned, then snorted.
She had decided he,
after all he had done throughout his life,
might just be a good enough person to trust with a huge form of abuse trauma and make it better before they could marry her off.
She looked incredibly sad at his snort, embarrassed and sad.
She began to straight up cry then.
" I don't want any of this. I thought I didn't ever have to be like this again. "
He was surprised by the sudden words spilling out.
For her, becoming one of the five would have been a great deal.
Right up to the point they had decided to basically make her, in her eyes, a concubine again.
Marry them to god know who to have some kids!
They had turned this right around on her and she was trying to confront her trauma in quick time and be what they needed her to be.
Agnus shook his head,
" I understand. You've seen the horrific side of man."
She sighed deeply at this.
"Look," he said, sitting in front of her.
" I will make you a deal."
She blinked at him.
" I will court only you. You pick me and I will never touch you."
He frowned a moment.
" I take that back. I will never do anything you don't want.
You never know if I ever have to pull a splinter from your fingers or something? "
He attempted to joke.
It worked, she smiled softly, wrinkling her nose.
She nodded slowly.
" I don't want to be a... " he had to look for the right words,
" I came here to be a bodyguard. Not a husband. So you should be good."
She seemed to want to speak, but couldn't quite find the words.
"You should go, they're watching us all the time. You've been here way too long. " He said.
She smiled, " they leave you alone when you bathe and get ready for bed."
He looked surprised at that, "really?"
She nodded, "just you though, you stop being interesting after that."
He considered, he certainly did.
He usually fell into the bed, his hair still soaking wet and probably snored so loudly they couldn't make out anything he may mumble in his sleep anyway.
She seemed to recover somewhat, " Tomorrow is a courting day. So think about a good gift? " She whispered, not making eye contact.
He nodded,
then thought.. he had given her a wolf.
That was the best damn thing there was, played that card way too early.
He stood up and it made her cringe back.
What had they been thinking? Trying to wed this girl off?
" I will leave, go into the bathroom and drink some tea. You get out of my room so I may sleep."
He said, slowly walking out of the room.
He had done it, he realized, finally laying in bed an hour later.
He was permanently in, at least, if this girl didn't fall madly in love with one of the others and stepped out of the deal.
But he considered it highly unlikely, if he wasn't mistaken, she was traumatized by men and feared them specifically.
He shuddered, as his brain decided to offer him possible traumatic events she might have been through.
Stop it brain, we need to sleep.