"I don't know what to do, he won't get out of bed. The funeral's today and he refuses to move."
"Do you want me to try talking to him?" James asked kindly.
"Maybe, I don't know if it'll help. I know he's hurting. I mean of course he is. I just wish he'd talk to me. He hasn't even cried James."
"Fuck...Teds it's not your fault okay? He's just really going through it. You know Moony he gets like this when he's really hurting, he'd rather feel nothing then let it all in."
"Yeah..."
"I'll go try and get him up alright?"
"Thanks James."
James offered a thin lipped smile before making his way up the stairs.
The house was oddly quiet considering the number of people staying there. Everyone was speaking in whispers or staying completely silent. Teddy couldn't understand it, how they were all staying so quiet. All she wanted to do was scream and cry and throw a fit. But she couldn't. She had to be strong for Remus. They couldn't both break down or nothing would get done. She had been the one to organise the funeral, to tell the school so that their friends could come, to get them all the week off school to grieve. She was the one who found Hope's little black book and contact everyone she knew. She was the one who got the notice put in the Prophet.
She was exhausted, but she knew she had to do it.
She hadn't read the letter yet. She hadn't even told Remus about them. She knew she should, she knew he would hate her for withholding this part of his mother from him. She just simply couldn't bring herself to look at them never mind open them.
So they stayed hidden in the drawer with all of Remus' research on treatments. Beneath a stack of old Christmas cards and photos.
"Hey, how're you feeling?" Lily asked, gently rubbing Theo's back in an attempt of comforting her.
"Fine."
"You sure? You know it's okay to be upset?"
"Just not right now."
"What?"
"Sorry Lily I have to go change I'll talk to you later alright?"
Theodora hurried up the stairs, biting her lip to hold everything in. She couldn't cry, not yet. She knocked softly on Remus' bedroom door before entering. She found Remus in the exact position she'd left him earlier that morning. James sat at his bedside talking in a hushed tone and holding his hand.
"Cmon mate you don't wanna miss this, you'll regret it later. Oh hi Teddy."
James looked up suddenly, acknowledging her entrance.
"Hi, sorry James I have to change. Do you mind..."
"Oh right yeah of course."
"Thanks for trying." She whispered to him as he left.
She lay down on the bed beside Remus and crawled over to wrap her arms around him.
"Darling....you have to get up. I'm so sorry but you just have to."
"I can't." He rasped.
"I know, I know it's horrible, but you can't miss this. You're the only person Hope would've really wanted there. You're all she had Remus."
"She's all I had." His voice cracked as he tried to speak.
"I know. I'm so sorry Remus." She rubbed his back and tried to find the right words but their weren't any. Nothing could make this better. Nothing could bring his mum back.
"Cmon." She pulled his arm to try and get him into a sitting position. She held him up and struggled to get his jumper off.
"You've gotta help me out here Rem."
He pushed himself back against the headboard and allowed her to sit on his lap and pull his shirt and jumper off. He fell limp while she struggled to drag him into the bathroom. He sat in the bath while she washed his hair and scrubbed his skin. She wrapped him in a towel and sat him on the edge of the bath while she got his clothes. He tried his best to help her dress him. He pulled his own trousers on and buttoned half his shirt before giving up. She fixed him up, straightening up his suit. Then came the tie.
"Fuck." She exclaimed frustratedly on her 4th attempt at tying the silky black tie.
"I've got it." He whispered, taking the strip of fabric from her fingers gently and quickly tying it.
"Thank you." She smiled and kissed his cheek. She led him back to the bedroom, Remus more able to walk now but still stumbling and leaning on her every few steps.
He sat on the edge of their bed and watched her change, helping her zip up her black dress.
"Hold on, one second." She hurried out of the room and down the stairs before returning to him.
"Here, you can use this." She held out the walking stick to him. It was old and beautifully engraved.
"Where did you get that?"
"Found it in the attic."
"Why were you going through the attic?"
"Photos."
"Oh...this was my grandfather's. Mum's father."
"It's beautiful, you look rather dashing with it."
"Really."
"Mhm." She kissed him softly before slipping on her little black heels.
"Cmon, it's time."
"Okay."
He held Theodora's in one hand and the cane in his other, taking the stairs slowly. When he reached the living room he found it full of all his friends. They welcomed him with warm hugs and words of condolence and comfort.
"I just have to do something can you look after Remus for a second." She asked Lily quietly. Lily nodded and Theodora slipped into the hallway, grabbing the letters out of the drawer and stepping outside. She sat on a chair on the porch and carefully opened the thick envelope addressed to her.
My dearest Theodora,
It has been the greatest honour of my life to not only meet you but get to know the wonderful person you are.
I remember when Remus was eleven and he came home excitedly telling his father and I about this girl he had befriended. 'My Teddy,' he would call you. 'My Teddy says werewolves are cool,' 'My Teddy says Slytherins are horrid,' 'My Teddy says I'm brave.' Darling Teddy, you brought me such comfort. Knowing there was a strong, kind, intelligent woman taking care of my little boy made me feel so much more at ease. You made my poor insecure baby feel like a powerful young man and that is the greatest gift.
To say Thank You would not be enough. I have left you some inheritance, to show my gratitude but also as I feel you deserve it. You are a part of my family. You are my daughter and my friend. Knowing you are alive in this world, protecting and uplifting those who need it brings me such peace.
Please remember Theodora. You are stronger than all those who try to bring you down. You deserve to be loved and feel happiness. I leave you in a world that feels darker than ever and for that I feel terrible but please remember, your love is more powerful than any hatred. You will get through this and live a wonderful life.
Protect yourself, please protect my beautiful boy the way you always have. Have lots of grandbabies for me and when he's ready, when he has grieved, give Remus my letter. Don't let him read my words when he's sad.
Never stop being the beautiful soul you are my little star.
All my love,
Hope Lupin.
P.S: don't invite Remus' dad to the funeral, he's a git.
Theodora let out a laugh at the last line of Hope's letter, between sniffles and tears. She held the letter close to her chest before folding it up tightly and slipping it into her coat pocket. She stepped back inside, taking a deep breath before facing everyone awaiting her reappearance.
"Hey, you alright?" Someone asked from behind her. She turned and found herself facing Remus. He looked concerned.
"Have you been crying?"
"Yeah, sorry it's all just been a bit-"
"Overwhelming?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah...it's weird I thought you were totally fine. I thought this wasn't hurting you at all."
"What? Why would you think that?"
"Because you barely blinked when I told you she died and you haven't cried once."
"I cry in the bathroom every 10 minutes Remus! I've been trying to be strong for you."
"I don't need you to be strong for me. I didn't wanna cry or act upset because I thought you'd think I was weak. I felt like shit when you had to change me and bathe me because I couldn't physically move."
"Oh Remus...I'm so sorry. I could never think you're weak. You're the strongest person I know."
"I'm sorry, cmere." He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck while she wrapped herself around his waist.
"Time to go." James said definitively, pulling the pair from their little bubble of grief.
James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Mary MacDonald, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, Theodora Lupin and Remus Lupin all made their way out of the Lupin cottage to what would be their first of many funerals.
Remus, James, Sirius and Peter carried the coffin. Remus, Theodora and Lily all spoke. They played Dream a little Dream of me, hope's favourite song. Kingsley Shacklebolt, Alice and Frank Longbottom also attended the funeral in support of Remus. Many of Hope's friends and neighbours showed up to pay th it respects. Remus shook 23 hands and received hugs from 16 individuals.
At the graveyard they all threw yellow roses, hope's favourite flowers, on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. Remus sprinkled dirt on top of his dead mum and they left. At the cottage people hung around and told stories about Hope. They ate food and drank firewhiskey into th late hours of the night until only Remus and his best friends were left. This was his family now, these people were his flesh and blood.
"I love you all." He said quietly.