You sip your drink with a small sigh as you watch Taylor flirt with a woman at the bar. You can't hear them over the music, but you can tell by the way she smirks slightly and her eyes wander over the girls body.
"Y/N, just forget about her." Selena begs, her heart hurting from seeing you so broken.
"I've tried, Sel." Your shoulders are sagged and your eyes don't shine anymore. "I just wish I knew why she doesn't love me back."
Flashback
"Hey, baby girl. You wanted to talk?" Your best friend asked as she sat next to you on your couch, kissing your forehead as she sat down.
"Um, yeah." You said nervously and played with your fingers.
Taylor frowned worriedly and scooted closer to you, holding your hands. "It's me, Y/N, you can tell me anything."
Your teary eyes met hers. "I've been having these feelings recently, well not recently, I've had them for a couple years now, but they've been harder to hide recently, because they're only growing stronger."
"Feelings? For who? Oh god, it's not Austin, is it?" She asked with disgust written all over her face. You couldn't help but chuckle, despite the nausea you were feeling.
"No, it's not Austin." You reassured and looked down for a moment. "It's you."
Taylor frowned. "What?"
"It's you, Tay. I have feelings for you." You admitted, blinking away your tears.
Taylor cleared her throat gently. "How long?"
"Since um, since you released 'reputation'." You answered truthfully. "It started out as just a crush, but it just grew over time, and-and I've,"
"You've?"
"Fallen in love with you."
Taylor took her hands away from yours which made you cry quietly. "Y/N, I...I don't think of you like that. I love you, I do, but as a friend. I'm so sorry."
You bit your bottom lip so hard that it split and blood trickled into your mouth. "It's fine, I'm not surprised. It was a shot in the dark, but I couldn't go another day without telling you, it was killing me inside."
Taylor buried her face in her hands and sighed deeply. "I'm so, so sorry."
"No, no don't be. You're Taylor Swift, you're the most amazing woman out there, and I'm just me, why would you like me like that? I'm a nobody, and you deserve the world." You shook your head and angrily wiped away your tears.
"Y/N, you're gonna find someone who loves you, I know you will, I'm just not that person. You're my best friend and I can't picture my life without you, Y/N. Oh god, I don't wanna lose you- am I losing you? Are we- oh god-"
"Woah, Tay, calm down!" You exclaimed. "You're not losing me, you will never lose me."
Taylor sobbed and hugged you tightly, whispering to you how sorry she was.
"We're gonna be okay, right?" She asked fearfully.
"Of course."
End flashback
Spoiler; you're not okay.
Nothing has been okay since then. It's been three weeks and she hasn't said a single word to you, every time you all hang out with your friends, she ignores you, she ignores your calls and texts, she's making you feel worse and worse every day.
"You need to move on, Y/N. Sleep with someone, it'll help." You look over at Selena who scoffs. "Not me, idiot."
"Then who?"
"I don't know; blonde, tall, British, willing to have sex with any of her friends and it not mean anything." Selena lists off in a 'duh' tone.
You look over at Cara who is leaning on the bar, trying to get the bartenders attention. You've always had a little crush on Cara, who wouldn't?
You throw back the rest of your drink and then confidently walk over to Cara, ignoring Taylor and the whore she is flirting with.
"Hey," you say in a sultry voice and run your finger down Caras arm.
The Brit looks at you with a raised eyebrow. "You're drunk."
"Tipsy, and you're hot." You shrug, a small smirk on your face.
Cara turns to you and checks you out. "What do you want from me?"
"I wanna dance."
"Dance?" She asks, her accent making you weak in the knees.
"You know, moving your body to the rhythm of a song?" You say sarcastically.
"Alright, smart ass." She chuckles. "You wanna dance? Come on then, but don't blame me if I get a little handsy."
"I won't." You grab her hand and drag her onto the dance floor.
Taylor watches you drag Cara away and she can't explain the deep feeling in her stomach.
"Taylor?" The girl cups her cheek but she moves her head away from her.
"Sorry, my friend is calling me." She pushes past the girl and angrily walks back to the table. "Why the hell is she dancing with Cara?"
Selena looks at her with a raised eyebrow. "What's it to you?"
"Cara's just gonna hurt her."
"Y/N is young and single, what's the harm in her having a little fun with a friend?" Selena shrugs as Taylor stares at the two of you with hatred in her eyes.
You're practically dry humping on the dance floor, Caras hand are all over your body and you're grinding your ass against her crotch.
"Are you jealous, Tay?" Selena asks hopefully. She's been rooting for the two of you to get together ever since she learnt of your feelings a few years ago.
"What? No, of course not." Taylor scoffs. "Y/N's my best friend and I want the begs for her."
"Oh yeah? Is that why you've been ignoring her for three weeks?"
Taylor frowns and looks down at the drink in front of her, the rim is stained with your lipstick and it makes her smile slightly. "She's in love with me, Sel."
"I know."
Taylor looks up at her. "I don't know how to act around her. I don't want to be how we were before and lead her on."
"Taylor, you're not leading her on and she knows that. She's stood by your side through all your relationships and hasn't said anything about her feelings because she didn't want to upset you in any way, but it was getting to the point where she couldn't eat or sleep for weeks because all she could think about was you. I told her to tell you so she can get some closure and finally move on so she can live her life again, and that's what she's doing, but she needs you in her life, Tay, you're everything to her." Selena explains.
"Was she really that bad?" Taylor asks softly after hearing how badly you were struggling.
"You didn't see how she was losing weight so fast?" Selena questions. "You know what it's like after a breakup, right? How all you can think about is that person, and it hurts so bad that you can't eat or sleep? That's how Y/N has felt for the last 5, 6 years."
Taylor looks back over at you and her eyes grow sad. She can't believe you've been suffering all these years.
"Oh god, I'm such an idiot. All those nights I cried to her about boyfriends, all the pet names, all the cuddles- god." She buries her face in her hands.
"It's not your fault, Tay."
"I know, but I still feel awful. I love her, I do, so much, but I don't think I like her like that." She admits.
"Not even in the slightest? You're not attracted to her?"
"Do I think she's attractive? Of course I do, I'm not blind. I think she's beautiful and incredibly sexy, you know- and her eyes, I've never seen such beautiful eyes, it's like they've got every colour. On some days they're hazel, but when the sun hits them they're brown with a hint of blue. And her laugh, I could listen to it all day, she's got such an amazing laugh, it's so infectious- and oh, man, her smile- it makes the room light up."
As Taylor rants about everything she loves about you, Selena just watches with an amused expression.
"Just because I find her intimidatingly beautiful doesn't mean I have feelings for her. I mean, do I love Y/N, yeah, but do I have romantic feelings for her? Yes."
Taylors eyes widen and she stares at Selena who is trying not to laugh.
"What? You didn't know?" She asks with a chuckle. "We're best friends and not once have you called me 'baby girl' or 'darling '."
"You knew?! Why didn't you tell me?!" Taylor screeches.
"Oh come on, Tay, I could've sat you down and told you you loved her, and you would've laughed in my face." She scoffs.
Taylor looks over at you and feels her heart break when she sees you kissing Cara.
"Ow." She mumbles and tears sting her eyes.
"Sorry, Taylor." Selena says sympathetically and rubs her hand.
Taylor swallows thickly and blinks away her tears when the two of you walk over.
"Hey, we're gonna take off." You say with a giggle as Cara kisses your neck.
Selena nods sadly. This is all her fault.
"Bye, Tay." You give her a small smile and then let Cara drag you away.
They sit in silence for a couple minutes.
"Tay-"
"Take me home."
•
•
•
•
Taylor can feel herself seething as she watches you walk through the door with Cara, your arm linked with hers.
She hosting a little dinner party for her close friends, she was hoping to talk to you, but now you've come with Cara so she can't now.
She was just about to down her fourth glass of wine when Selena grabbed it out of her hands. "Slow down."
"They came together? They're together? You told me it was meaningless sex!" Taylor whisper shouts.
"I thought it was, maybe they hit it off." Selena shrugs. "You can't expect her to stay single if you don't talk to her about your feelings."
"Did you see where Cara's hands were? Any closer and this would have been one slip away from being an orgy!"
"Taylor, stop it." Selena snaps. "If you want to be with her, then fucking talk to her! I'm one more whine from you from sewing your mouth shut!"
Taylor pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. "Don't have to shout."
"Hey, guys." You greet them both.
"Hi, Y/NN." Selena gives you a quick hug.
You look over at Taylor, not sure wether to hug her or not. "Um, this is for you." You hand her the bottle of wine.
"Don't I get a hug?" She asks and puts the wine on the counter behind her.
"Oh. Uh, are you sure?" You ask nervously.
"Y/N, you're my best friend." Taylor says, hurt.
"Yeah, I am. Wanna explain why those are the first words you've said to me in almost four weeks?"
Taylor looks down ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"Are you that uncomfortable around me, Taylor?" You ask sadly.
"What? No, of course not!"
"Then what is it? Because I've spent these last four weeks thinking I've disgusted you."
Taylor shakes her head desperately and goes to reply but Cara walks in and wraps her arm around your waist, kissing your cheek.
"Everything okay, love?" She asks.
"Yeah, babe, I was saying hi." You smile at her and lean up to kiss her softly.
Taylor clenches her jaw and looks away.
"So, this is new." Selena comments. "When did this happen?"
"Well, I took your advice, Sel." You shrug with a happy smile. "I'm happier than I've been in a long time."
Taylor balls her fists up. "Yeah, we can tell by the hickeys."
Your hand shoots up to your neck and you blush. "Do you have a problem with me and Cara, Taylor?"
Taylor sighs. "No."
"Then why are you being so hostile?" You ask confusedly. "Is it me? Should I leave?"
"No, Y/N, it's not you. I'm just having a bad day. I'm sorry. I'm happy for you two."
"I wanna be friends again, Tay." You say sadly. "I miss you, and you don't have to worry about what I said, I heard you loud and clear. I'm moving on."
Please don't.
"G-Good, that's good." She smiles on the outside but she's screaming, crying, and throwing up on the inside. "I miss you too, baby girl."
You smile in relief and hug her tightly. Your bury your face in her neck and take in her intoxicating lavender perfume, wishing you could stay in her arms forever. Little did you know, Taylor was doing the exact same to you.
Cara and Selena share a knowing look, both unimpressed at how long it's taking you both to get together.
"You coming, love? Sophie was about to tell us the tea between her and Joe." Cara grins excitedly.
You giggle and pull away from Taylor, not missing how she tried to hold onto you for longer.
"You think she bought it?" You ask Cara once you're out of ear shot.
"Darling, she was one kiss away from punching me." Cara chuckles. "She's jealous alright."
You smile giddily.
You and Cara did sleep together but the morning after you overheard her on the phone with Selena and you found out that Taylor has feelings for you. You wanted to run over to her house and beg her to confirm it, but Cara convinced you to make her work for it. So that's what you're doing, Selena is in on it too.
You spent a little while talking to some of the other people there, catching up with Blake and Ryan, chatting with Sophie, and so on until dinner rolled around.
You were seated between Cara and Taylor.
Fun.
Cara kept putting her hand on your thigh and whispering in your ear to make you laugh, dirty things that you knew Taylor could definitely hear, and judging by the way she kept huffing and stabbing her food, you knew she was on the breaking point.
"So, Y/N, other than slutting it up with Cara, what have you been up to?" Taylor asks sharply when you giggle once again from Cara's dirty joke.
"Slutting it up? Nice." You scoff.
"Don't slut shame my girl, Taylor."
"Your girl? Your girl! Ha!" Taylor exclaims sarcastically.
"Girl fight." Ryan says playfully which makes Blake kick his shin.
"Yes, my girl, she's dating me, isn't she?" Cara asks, trying to hide her smirk.
"Cara, don't." You whisper and put your hand on her chest to 'calm her down'.
"Yeah, Cara, don't." Taylor mocks with a glare.
"Or what? What are you gonna do, Swift? Sing me to death?" Cara quips.
"I'll give you a swift smack in the mouth, yeah!" Taylor snaps.
"Swift." Ryan and Sophie snicker.
"Not the time, guys." Selena rolls her eyes.
"Don't be jealous because you can't keep a man longer than 6 months, Taylor." Cara shoots back, both of them growing angry.
"Me? With the amount of people you've slept with, I wouldn't be surprised if you've got every STD out there!"
"Alright, serial dater."
You start to panic as they keep shouting insults at each other, now stood up and yelling over you.
"Stop." You beg and try to get them both to stop.
"You don't deserve Y/N!"
"And you do?! You had 6 years to have a chance with her! Now back off!"
"You back off!"
"Stop!" You shout over them, making them both fall quiet. "This has gone too far."
Taylor feels guilty and ashamed as she looks around the table to see all her friends looking at her. She then looks at Cara and sighs.
"God. Cara, I'm so sorry." Taylor whispers and slumps down in her chair. She buries her face in her hands.
"I'm sorry too, Taylor, I didn't mean what I said." Cara apologises. "Fuck, I'm really fucking sorry."
Taylor shakes her head and stands up, hugging Cara tightly. "It's not your fault, I started it."
You give Selena a look which makes her nod and gesture for everyone to give you and Taylor some space.
After a while, the pair pull away.
"We okay?" Cara asks.
"Yeah, of course." Taylor reassures. "I'm so sorry, you two. I've been such a bitch to both of you. You two are together, and I need to respect that."
You and Cara share a look.
"We're not together." Cara admits.
"Wait, what?" Taylor frowns confusedly.
"All you, Y/N." Cara quickly rushes out of the room.
"Y/N? What does she mean?" Taylor asks and sits back down.
"I'm not dating her. We did sleep together last week, but the morning after I overheard Cara on the phone with Selena." You tell her. "Why didn't you tell me you like me?"
Taylors face drops. "W-What? How did you know?"
"How long, Tay? Before I told you about my feelings?"
She sighs deeply. "No, yes, I don't know. I think some part of me always has, but I just ignored it. It was only until I saw you kissing Cara that I realised how much I love you. I think that's why I've been ignoring you recently, I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Scared of ruining our friendship. I'm scared if we dated and it didn't work out, I'd lose you forever." She admits.
"Oh, Tay, you would never lose me." You hold her hands.
"How can you be so sure?"
"How can you be so sure that we wouldn't last if we dated?"
Taylor smiles lightly and looks down at your joined hands. "I'm sorry for being such an idiot."
"Me too."
You share a smile and she leans forward, resting her forehead on yours. "Can I take you out tomorrow night?"
"On a date date, or a friend date?"
Taylor chuckles and rubs her nose against yours. "A date date."
"I'll have to check my schedule..." Taylor whines which makes you laugh. "Yes, Tay, I'd love to go on a date with you."
"Thank god." Taylor sighs in relief. "Let me go kick everyone out so we can go cuddle."
You giggle as you watch her rush out of the dining room, tripping over a chair with a quick 'I'm fine' as she gets up.
Finally.