Mom's been obsessed with this card game all week, and she's been playing it almost non-stop with Owlbert. Luz, King, and I have been subjected to watching her play, since she wants to teach us how to play. Mom shuffles her hand, and the eyes on the back of that cards look up at her. Owlbert, who's wearing a green visor hat, narrows his eyes and hoots.
Mom says, "Watch closely, kids. Hexes Hold'em is the most tricky game on the Boiling Isles. Any proper witch knows how to play."
Luz exclaims, "Oh boy, cards! The paper rectangles that old people think are fun!"
Mom puts a card down on the table, and lightning nearly instantly comes from the cards, sending Owlbert flying for cover behind the side of the table. Mom's cards all stand and roar, and Owlbert's surge forward and attack Mom's, making Owlbert smirk.
Mom says, "Now, when it looks like the deck is stacked against you, that's when you break out the wild card."
She holds up a card with a tower on it. It glows green, and Owlbert's cards disappear in a flash of fire. Fiery letters spell out 'WINNER: EDA' before disappearing. Owlbert hops back onto the table and hoots at Mom, his wings extended.
Mom gloats, "Woo, I win! In your adorable owl face. Ah, I love the feeling of victory. It feels... fluffy?"
As she says that, feathers start growing from her arms rapidly.
I say, "Uh, Mom? It's happening again!"
Mom asks, "What's happening again?"
King exclaims, "Your curse is returning!"
Mom yelps in shock, running upstairs to a chest in her room. She opens it, revealing that every single bottle in the chest is empty.
Mom groans, "Oh, boy. This is terrible. I'm out of elixer!"
Luz says, "Uh, last time this happened, you turned into this thing."
She holds up her phone, showing Eda a picture of the owl beast on the screen.
Mom stares at it for a second before saying, "I know I should be repulsed, but that look is fierce."
I exclaim, "Mom! You've got to take this seriously! I don't want to see you turn into that thing again."
Mom says, "You're right, you're right. We need to head to the market."
Luz excitedly exclaims, "Market!"
We follow my mom to the living room, and King exclaims, "I'm stealing everything that's not nailed down!"
Mom says, "Before we go, would anyone like to play one more hand of Hexes Hold'em?"
She pats her pocket where the deck of cards should be, but the pocket's empty. I stole them while she was destracted.
Mom asks, "Hey, where are my cards?"
I hold up the deck in my hands, and Mom says, "Huh. My kid's a pickpocket. Looks like I taught you well."
She walks up to me to try to snatch the cards from my hand, but I give them to Owlbert, whispering, "Take these and fly ahead. She'll have to follow us."
He does, and Mom starts running after him, shouting, "Owlbert, you sore loser! Gimme back my cards!"
We finally head into town, but it seems like Mom's still in a bad mood.
She slams her fist against a metal grate, exclaiming, "Hey, open up, Morton!"
We hear a nervous voice that I assume to be Morton say, "Uh, ju- just a minute!"
King leaves Mom's side to sit next to Luz on a bench, and I lean against the wall next to the metal grate while we wait. Suddenly, we hear loud footsteps, and the conspiracy theorist ex-prisoner screams and runs. A witch waves his hand at us, a cart containing a large demon following him.
I confusedly wave back as Luz walks back over to us, saying, "Whoa. That is one ominous parade."
Mom says, "That's no parade. Those are demon hunters."
The demon in the cart growls a bucks, and two demon hunters pushing the cart pull it's ropes to pin it back down. It tries to bite at the first demon hunter, but it's not close enough to either of them.
Mom says, "Dangerous nomads who capture and sell the most powerful beasts."
The first demon hunter traces a spell circle, creating green lightning in his hand. He grunts as he shocks the demon unconscious. He turns and looks as Luz, and she gasps, backing up next to me. I glance warily at the demon hunter, and he turns back to the cart, tying the ropes more secure.
Mom continues knocking on the grate, exclaiming, "Which I'm about to become if you don't open up, Morton!"
He finally opens the grate, saying, "Sorry, Eda! I was up all night poison tasting, and for some reason, I don't feel great."
I roll my eyes, sarcastically saying, "Yeah, it's a real mystery."
Mom holds up an empty elixer bottle, saying, "I'm all outta my juice, pal."
Morton grabs the bottle, saying, "Oh, gee. Lemme see what I can do."
He ducks down and digs around, rattling bottles. The demon hunters continue on, revealing Willow and Gus, who both look dejected.
Luz and I run up to them, and Luz exclaims, "Willow and Gus!"
I say, "Sup, guys? What's with the long faces?"
Luz adds, "What's wrong? Who hurt my babies?"
Willow points to a good stand, saying, "Them."
Amity's friends are hanging out and laughing while Amity stares at a potion.
Willow explains, "Amity's having a moonlight conjuring and invited everyone but me."
Gus adds, "And she keeps posting about it on her Pentagram account."
He summons a scroll, opening it to Amity's Pentagram post of her and her friends posing.
Luz reads the captioning aloud, "'Its conjuring night! No dorks allowed'? What a jerk!"
Luz scowls, and I ask, "Wait, what's a moonlight conjuring?"
Willow responds, "You spend the night at someone's house, telling stories, playing games -"
Luz exclaims, "Like a slumber party! We have those!"
Willow pulls out a book, adding, "Then you bring something to life with moon magic!"
Luz pauses for a second before exclaiming, "Like a weird slumber party!"
Willow says, "Gus and I have never been to one. You need at least three people."
I say, "Well, we have four. That should be more than plenty."
Luz adds, "And we're way better than them!"
One of Amity's friends, a light pink skinned witch with darker pink hair tied into a bun and three eyes laughs as she and the rest of Amity's posse approach us.
She condescendingly says, "Sorry you couldn't get an invite to the conjuring, Willow. Only real witches allowed."
Amity sighs, saying, "Leave her alone. It's not her fault she was born without talent."
They all leave, and Willow growls, growing several vines from the ground.
Luz slaps the tallest vine away, saying, "Whoa. Don't waste your time getting thorny over them, 'cause we're gonna have our own moonlight conjuring."
Gus exclaims, "Are you serious? This was on my bucket list!" He pulls out a list and checks something off, adding, "After owning a real human bucket!"
Luz says, "That's a really weird thing to want, but I appreciate your enthusiasm."
I say, "I'll go tell my mom."
I head back over to Mom, and ask, "Can Gus, Willow, Luz and I do a midnight conjuring? Amity's being a jerk to Willow again, and we want to stick it to her."
Mom holds her hand up, saying, "Not tonight. I'm going out." She grabs her staff and starts walking, adding, "I need you and Luz to watch the house. I have many precious objects in there."
King exclaims, "Like me!"
Mom picks him up by the collar, saying, "You're coming with me. Indeed an extra pair of eyes looking out for pickpockets." She looks at me for a second before adding, "Though I could use an extra pair of hands in case I want to pickpocket. Your trick earlier was pretty slick."
I say, "Well, maybe they can come to the house and do a conjuring with Lus while we're out."
Mom says, "No! Besides, conjuring are dumb. Sitting in a circle holding hands. Pfft, it's like magic for babies."
She walks away, and the others run up to me.
Willow asks, "So, Mel, what did Eda say?"
I nervously say, "Uh, well..."
Gus points upwards, exclaiming, "Oh, look! The Moon is rising into place, and the celestial powers only align once a year."
Willow adds, "Oh! I can't believe I finally have enough friends for a conjuring!"
Luz asks, "Did Eda say it was okay?"
I say, "Uh..."
What do I say?! I don't want to disappoint them.
I lie, "...Yes, but I can't join you. She needs me to go with her to the night market. You guys can do it at the owl house as long as you don't make a mess or touch anything and never bring up that you did it."
Gus and Willow exclaim, "Yes!"
Luz hugs me, adding, "Oh, you're the best sibling ever!"
All three of them start chanting in a sing-songy voice, "We're gonna do a conjuring! We're gonna do a conjuring! Conjuring! Conjuring!"
I look away from them, feeling guilt in the pit of my stomach. I know I shouldn't lie to them, and especially not to my sister, but I don't want to rob them of this experience. We head back home, and I tell Gus and Willow to hide in the bushes until I give my signal.
Mom puts on a cloak, and I put on one she gave me while she says, "Luz, you're in charge while we're out. Make sure Hooty doesn't get into any trouble."
Hooty opens the door, exclaiming, "Hoot hoot! I don't need a babysitter. I'm a big boy house!"
Luz happily says, "You can count on me!"
I ask, "Where's King?"
Mom opens her cloak to reveal a snoring King strapped into an old and worn baby carrier.
She says, "His little body just conks out when he's weightless, just like you when you were little. Look at this."
She moves side to side, King not waking as he moves like a ragdoll.
Luz coos, "Aww, he's so dangly!"
She plays with his feet until Mom starts walking outside, saying, "Anyway, really going now. And Luz, if you mess up the house, I will never trust you again. No pressure! Byeeee!"
She exits the house, and Luz asks, "What was that about?"
I nervously lie, "Uh... No idea! Gotta go! I think I hear Eda calling me!"
Luz confusedly says, "But I didn't hear anyth -"
I shut the door, making sure Mom's not looking before I knock the 'shave and a haircut' beat on the wall. That's the signal. I watch Gus and Willow sneak out of the bushes as I hop on Owlbert, flying off into town with Mom. Every stand in the night market is bathed in a red light as we walk through the center passage of the market before stopping.
Mom sighs, covering the feathers growing on her as she says, "The curse. I need that elixir, quick." She spots a demon sitting next to a crate and asks, "Hey, you. You know where I can find a Grimm Hemmer?"
The demon nods with a grunt, and a much smaller lizard-like creature pops out of its empty eye socket, pointing to a foreboding stand.
We approach the stand and Mom peeks through it's curtain, saying, "Hello? Uh, I seek the one they call Grimm Hemmer."
An ominous voice says, "I'm the one they call Grimm Hemmer." The curtains raise, and a pig demon King's size jumps onto the counter, saying in a calming, kind voice, "Welcome, welcome, welcome! I've got weaponry from the Hinterlands, curses from the Winterlands, and jelly beans!"
He tosses the jelly beans like confetti, and King catches one, exclaiming, "Jelly beans!"
Grimm says, "They're lethally delicious."
King opens his mouth to eat it anyway, but I knock it out of his hand.
Mom asks, "You are Grimm Hemmer?"
Grimm says, "Tibblet-Tibbly Grimm Hemmer the Third. Please, call me Tibbles."
I ask through snickers, "You actually want to be called that?"
Mom, unphased, says, "Okay, Tibbles. I need some of this elixir."
She hands him an empty bottle, and he says, "Oh, this is one wicked brew. Lucky for you, I just stocked up."
He grabs a full bottle with his tail, and Mom exclaims, "Huzzah! I'll give you ten snails."
Tibbles says, "Add two more zeros and it's a deal."
Mom exclaims, "Two thousand snails?! What kind of game are you playing?!"
Tibbles says, "Capitalism. Where everyone wins." He goes further into his stand before adding, "Except you."
Mom exclaims, "Hey!" She notices a deck of cards, asking, "Say, you play Hexes Hold'em?"
I say, "Seriously, Mom? Now's really not the time for this."
Tibbles ignores me, innocently asking, "Oh, is that what that game is called?" He chuckles, returning to the counter as he adds, "I was just using these as coasters."
Mom says, "How about we make it interesting? I win, you give me the elixir. You win, you can take something of mine."
I'm getting a bad feeling about this.
Tibbles says, "Oh, what fun! You're on."
Mom puts up a fight, but Tibbles destroys her, winning the game.
King says, "Oof. That was painful to watch."
Mom exclaims, "You card shark, you hustled me!"
Tibbles chuckles, menacingly saying, "Looks like you forgot about my wild card. In any case, I'd like my prize now, and I choose... the little bone boy." He chuckles and takes King, adding, "I've always wanted a tiny servant to model my line of baby clothes."
King exclaims, "No! I don't look good in clothes. I'm all natural. Eda, Mel, do something!"
Mom twirls her finger, but no magic comes out of it, her arm instead erupting in feathers.
Mom grunts, "I can't perform magic."
Tibbles snaps his fingers, conjuring chains which burst from the ground to wrap around Mom. She falls to the floor, and chains tie my arms behind my back.
Mom asks, "You think this can stop me? I can still bite your ankles."
Tibbles says, "You don't think I know who you are? Eda, the Owl Lady." Eda gasps, and he pulls out a wanted posters, adding, "That's right. I've seen your wanted posters around here. I wonder how much the Emperor's Coven would pay me to hand you and your child over?"
Mom glares at him, and I sit down on the counter next to King, who's sulking in a sailor outfit.
Mom says, "King, I'm sorry."
King asks, "King? Who's King? I go by Little Bone Boy now."
I groan, "No, you don't. You're just mad at her."
Mom says, "I know I have a problem. I got obsessed with Hexes Hold'em, but I'm done with that stupid game. Look."
She eats a stray card that was on the ground next to her, and King asks, "You promise?"
Mom, in a muffled voice through the card in her mouth, says, "I promise."
King chuckles, easily kicking off the ankle chain he was forced into.
He says, "Okay, okay. I'll grab the elixir, and then we can bust out of here."
Tibbles exclaims, "Bone Boy! You will do no such thing. The Emperor's Coven is already on its way to send this witch and her child to the Conformatorium." He holds up another outfit, adding, "And I just rustled up some more clothes for you to try on."
He chuckles, and King throws his hat on the counter, saying, "Just because I have a model's body doesn't mean you can use me like this."
I hear loud footsteps echo in the distance, getting closer as Tibbles climbs onto the counter, saying, "I can and I am, bone boy. I've got the cards stacked against you, and nothing can stop me! Nothing!"
A giant owl foot connected to the owl house steps directly through the stand, and a bottle of elixir falls on the ground, intact.
Luz waves out the window, exclaiming, "Sorry, mister!"
The house continues down the street, and Mom stands up, laughing.
King back away from Tibbles, hopping onto my shoulder as Mom asks, "Wait, what? Was that my house?
I exclaim, "Mom, quick!"
I catch the elixir bottle under my foot and kick it up, Mom catching it in her mouth. She downs the entire thing, then spits the bottle out. The feathers poof off of her arms, and she traces a spell circle that makes our chains explode.
Tibbles exclaims, "No, no, no! My scam stand!"
Mom says, "Sorry, Tibbles old boy. It looks like you forgot about the wild card."
I shove him to the side, grabbing as many bottles as I can stuff into my cloak.
King, Mom, and I hop onto Mom's staff and fly off, hearing Tibbles yell, "Curse you, witches! Curse you, hone boy! I'll have my revenge! Tibblet-Tibbly Grimm Hemmer the Third will have his revenge!"
His stand falls completely apart, and we fly back home, landing right on the ledge in front of the front door as the legs sit down, the house back where it was.
Mom slams the door open, and she says, "You are so busted."
Luz nervously says, "Oh, man."
Mom adds, "You held a moonlight conjuring."
Luz says, "I did."
Mom exclaims, "And you animated my house. My house!"
Luz says, "Yes."
I finally admit, "I lied. I told them you said it was okay."
Mom turns her angry glare at me, and Willow, Gus, and Luz step in front of me protectively.
Willow says, "No! Don't punish them!"
Luz adds, "We're the ones who pushed them to let us do the conjuring here."
Gus says, "If you're gonna eat me, just do it now. Do it now!"
Mom looks disgusted at the idea, and I say, "You guys didn't have to do that."
Luz says, "Yes, Mel. I did. You've protected me so much over the years."
Mom finally calm down, but there's a frustrated look on her face as she says, "Well, you're all guilty, so you'll all be punished by cleaning my house top to bottom." She summons various cleaning supplies that land in our arms, and she adds, "And another thing. That was totally amazing. I'm so joining you for next year's conjuring. Now get to work."
We start cleaning, and Luz says, "You know, I still kinda wish we got to show up Amity."
Willow says, "Yeah. Too bad no one will know of our daring adventures."
I say, "Don't worry. With that big of a house moving around town, I'm sure someone saw it. Maybe someone even put it on Pentagram!"
Willow says, "Yeah, that would be pretty great."