࿇ ══━━━━✥ Aurora ✥━━━━══ ࿇
The next few weeks passed quickly. Between me and Matt it went as well as it can go and somehow I had the feeling I had never been happier.
He made me laugh and he always let me know that I was important to him and it felt so good. I spent most of my time with or around him.
When I looked at him my heart beat faster and it was all like a dream I never wanted to wake up from.
But I had to wake up from this beautiful dream every time I walked through my front door because I never knew what my father was like.
Sometimes he would tell me that he loved me and that I was his everything or he would think I was my mom and the next day he would hate me again. He was like a teenager going through puberty and it kind of messed me up every time.
And because of him I spent most of my time at Matt's and slept at my place. Of course Matt suggested to go to my place but I always found an excuse.
I had no idea how my father would react if I brought him along. I didn't want Matt to see how my dad was doing because he would try to help somehow and it was bad enough that he was trying to take care of me permanently.
One afternoon I sat with Phoebe in my room to help her with her homework while my dad slept downstairs. He hadn't even slept in the bedroom for weeks, but only on the couch, which is why it was almost impossible to avoid him.
Are you and matt actually together now?" my sister asked, and I blushed.
Matt and I hadn't talked much about what was going on between us, but a few days before he had told an exchange student that I was his girlfriend, so we were kind of officially together.
Yeah, you could say that." I replied.
And you don't tell me anything?" she asked imperturbably.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to shout it out, I don't want everyone to know. Then it gets out in the public and all I see are tiktoks of little Matt girls crying and hating me because I would take matt away from them". That was life when you were with an influencer.
Yeah, I get that, but I'm your sister, so that hurts me already."
"You didn't tell me you had a crush on Ryan Portcharles." I said and looked at her amused.
She blushed completely and looked to the side, embarrassed. Can you tell that much?" she asked, scratching the back of her head.
Oh yeah, even Chris noticed, and Chris doesn't even realize that Tina Hawkins wants something from him, even though she does his homework for him and follows him around the schoolhouse like a dog.
She laughed. "Oh dear, I hope Ryan doesn't notice that I think he's great."
Phoebe he has a girlfriend, I hope you don't get your hopes up, he's in my year."
"I know. But I'm just looking at him." She says.
I was about to say something when the doorbell rang. I looked at my sister and asked. "Did you order something from amazon?" I asked her and she shook her head.
I got up and went downstairs and looked at the couch to make sure my dad was still asleep, which he was.
I went to the door and opened it. And who was standing there? Matt, of course.
I opened my eyes and stood in front of the door and closed it a bit so he couldn't look in.
"Matt, what are you doing here?"
"Can't I visit my girlfriend? I haven't been here in ages." He said, leaning down and giving me a kiss, which I quickly returned.
Of course you can, but right now is very bad, because, because, I just help Phoebe and I just wanted to lie down because I'm totally tired." I talked very fast and he looked at me suspiciously.
Aurora. Why don't you want me to come visit you?" he asked straight out.
Believe me, I want to, but I just can't." I said and that was not even a lie. I wish I could let him in and he could visit me more often. I wish my father was just normal and not an alcoholic and that he was his old self again.
Oh yes, we have been in contact again for over 5 months and in that time there has not been a single day when I could have come by," he said. He said and you could hear that he was disappointed.
He turned around, but I held him by the arm. I looked into the house again and saw that my father was asleep.
Okay, come in, but my father is asleep right now, so be quiet." I ordered him and he looked surprised that I gave in.
I was also surprised at myself, why did I leave it like that? it was clear that this would not end well.
We crept hand in hand up the stairs and then disappeared into my room. When Phoebe saw him she gave me a look that said 'you're stupid to bring him in here'.
Then she stood up and greeted Matt. "Heyy, what a surprise to see you here." "Hey, phoebs." He looked around my room.
"This place looks exactly the same as it did a year ago." He stated. Yeah, sorry if you expected something else." I said.
"Okay, I'll leave you guys to finish my homework alone, use protection." Said Phoebe grabbing her stuff and was quickly out the door.
I just shook my head and tried not to blush, she was acting like our mom and that was really uncomfortable for me right now.
He looked at the pictures on my wall and he seemed as if he hadn't heard the words from my sister, which was fine with me.
On the wall hung different pictures of my family, of my mom, of my sisters, many with him and a few with his brothers.
"You can see who you like the most." He said, turning to me with a smile. Oh, yeah? Who's that?" I asked as if it wasn't obvious.
"Me and your mom." He said and his smile became a little sad. I looked at the wall and then met my mother's smile. "You're probably right." I sighed.
He took me in his arms. Are you okay?" he asked. I'm okay when I'm with you," I said, looking up at him, and he smiled. Then he stroked a strand behind my ear.
Sorry about just now, I didn't mean to upset you." He said. "You didn't, if I were you I would have reacted the same way." Why didn't you want me to be here?" he asked and I sighed.
It is difficult to explain, I will tell you, but not yet. And I beg you not to ask." I said and looked at him hopefully. Okay" he said and then he leaned down to kiss me and I was so grateful to have him. But fate was not on my side.
When Matt was leaving I wanted to go to Phoebe and ask if she could distract dad but when I entered her room I saw that she was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up, it was already late.
And when I closed her door again and turned around, my dad was standing behind me and I was scared.
Oh god dad. You scared me." I said quickly and stood in front of my door so that he wouldn't get the idea to go into my room because Matt was in there and thought I was in the bathroom.
Before my dad could answer anything the door opened behind me. "Oh hello mister Johnson." I heard Matt say and I saw my dad's face looking angrily at me.
Since when do you hide boys in your room?" he asked me angrily and paid no attention to Matt. His breath reeked of alcohol and I screwed up my face.
Sorry dad, you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up." I said, hoping he would calm down and have one of his good periods. But that was not the case.
How long have you been bringing him here without me noticing?" he asked angrily. Not at all, Dad, this is the first time."
And you expect me to believe that?" he suddenly shouted.
Sorry to interfere, but this is really the first time, and I promise it won't happen again, Mr. Johnson". Said Matt.
My father looked at him in surprise. "This is a conversation between me and my daughter, I don't even know you so stay out of it."
Dad, this is Matthew. You know, Mary-lou's son." I explained.
"I don't care who he is, he should leave now before something else unpleasant happens." My father threatened. I looked at him in surprise, he wouldn't hurt him, would he?
I turned to Matt and said, "It's better if you go now." He looked at me in surprise.
Yes, I think so too, and I'll talk to you again, my daughter, in a minute." My father said and then disappeared into his room.
Matt had taken his things and we walked quietly downstairs to the front door. He walked in front of me and when we were down from the porch he turned to me.
"Is that why you don't want me here? Because of your dad." He asked, looking at me worriedly. I didn't know what to say and just looked him in the eyes, and our looks spoke more than a thousand words.
Oh my god he is the reason, isn't he?" he asked again and when I still didn't answer he continued. "Was that him with your cheek? Did he hurt you then, is he violent?" He seemed worried, angry and disappointed at the same time.
No, it was an accident. He didn't hit me." But he did, didn't he?" I didn't like the direction the conversation was taking. I didn't want to lie.
"Matt... he was drunk." That's all I could say. "He was just now, wasn't he? He's an alcoholic? Is that what you're telling me?" I just looked at him silently.
"Does he do anything to you? Is he doing anything to Phoebe?" "GOD, NO. PLEASE STOP IT." I screamed because his questions were too much for me.
"Aurora, he needs help, he should go to rehab too." "He can handle it." I said.
Oh my God, I can't believe how naive and stupid you can be! He shouted and waved his hands. I looked at him in shock, that was the meanest thing he had ever said to me.
He came to me and took my hands in his. It is not wrong to get help, you should know that better than anyone.
"Then what about me and Phoebe? How do you figure that? What if he doesn't get custody and me and my sister get put into different foster homes?"
"So be it, but you can't live with an alcoholic." "That works." "Yeah, how long? Until he beats you for the first time?" he asked, looking at me in shock.
"He wouldn't do that." And how do you know that, Aurora?" he asked. "I know him better than you do." And I know you, do you want to have to take care of him and your sister if he loses his job?" he let go of my hand.
"You have no idea Matt." I yelled at him. "Yeah, I don't, but you guys need help. He needs help." "No, I don't need it from the office or from you." I said angrily, and he looked at me in shock.
I can't be with you when I know what's going on at home. He said with a much too calm voice. "Then I guess you have to break up with me." I said without thinking about it.
He looked at me hurt and then his face turned cold. I didn't want to break up with him but he had to understand my situation and accept that I didn't need that.
Well then, I guess we're not together anymore." He said and turned around, got into his car and drove away.
My heart broke into a thousand pieces and I started to cry. And screamed, screamed so loudly from my mental pain that the whole neighborhood must have heard it.
I hated myself for letting him in, for not being able to help myself, for my mom dying because of me and us being in this situation and for falling in love with him.