❝ 𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 ❞
haunted by the look in my eyes that
would've loved you for a lifetime.
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚
Trying for closure hurt when you knew something else was coming.
Closure didn't usually come without karma. What goes around, comes back around... and then hopefully it was done.
But with Serena? It wasn't ever gonna be done. Fernando had an entirely new life, an entirely new circle of people surrounding him... but still there was a Serena shaped hole. Something in him yearned for her, and he needed that to stop.
His regret made him second-guess himself harshly. Was he wrong here?
Surface glitter, yeah. But realistically, if Serena was just gonna go to New York without telling him she obviously wasn't serious about them. Besides, the girl he took the Dinner on the Diamond was an old family friend. They never dated, and weren't ever gonna date. Maybe if Serena gave him the opportunity to explain himself, he wouldn't be skating on such thin ice.
Having a relationship made Fernando realize how bad it was to not have a relationship. Unfortunately, his self-focused and at-peace attitude on love had disappeared. Serena wrecked him.
Him and another girl were talking more. She seemed nice.
Despite his sudden grating spite, he couldn't forget what Serena did for him. He wasn't even sure if he'd have a spot on the team let alone a place in this club if it weren't for her.
Serena — to him — was the crazy, the bad, and the evil, but she was also the good. she was like the sun in his life.
The hardest part about these feelings was that he wasn't sure why he thought she was some unholy devil. Maybe he was milking the New York situation... but he felt distasteful.
These emotions didn't go unnoticed either. Not only was it indifferent to him — but also to the people around him.
He was starting to get frequent questions asking when he became a philosophical drunk, and when he became so rational and phlegmatic.
Truly, Fernando was only "phlegmatic and rational" when he was a "philosophical drunk". He only saw things for what they were when he was tipsy. Never too drunk though, because that made him forlorn. It made him cry sometimes, acidic tears specifically.
Maybe disbelief was a good word for these flares.
Fernando wanted to move on and heal. He knew he needed to move on and heal, but the passed out pieces of him simply couldn't bring themselves back up and reinvent his former figure.
Like an obsessed and sick ex, he still checked in on Serena's socials. He saw each of her Instagram posts, BeReals, even the rare analytical baseball tweet once in a while.
He also saw she was hanging out with MacKenzie Gore again.
Queens was awfully close to Washington, and even though he didn't know it he had already gaslighted himself into thinking Serena left him for MacK.
The timing of it all was so specific. The lefty randomly showing up one weekend — moreover, the one that Serena made the ultimate decision to leave. Maybe Fernando was nothing but a rebound that catapulted her back into MacKenzie.
For some reason, he wanted this to be true. Only because after calling Serena and insisting they shouldn't ever talk again, he needed something to justify it. That was a good reason, right?
"You're up," Yu ordered, pointing at Tom Cosgrove's cellphone. Since he was a rookie, they usually sent the young relief pitcher to pick up the mobile coffee orders.
"Thanks," Fernando nodded, carefully taking the phone from the pitcher.
Everyone around here had been colder to him lately. It was almost like he just took PEDs again.
...No, it was worse than that. He suffered in silence with both, but with this? There was another person involved. A person everyone loved.
Quite frankly, Fernando was surprised he was even offered coffee today. Last week in Miami they "forgot" about him.
He put in an order for a straight black coffee, then passed the phone on to Trent.
The boy sat down and leant his back into the wall, taking a long, deep, exhale, slowly releasing the unnerved feeling from his chest.
He wished his life to go back to October off 2022. That was when he remembered who he was before Serena.
❝ 𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺 ❞
@padresworld
7,177 likes
padresworld single tatis 😳🥶
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username46189102 VILLAIN ERA FERNANDO
user0693771 Single Fernando is gonna be a menace to society i can feel it
padrefan13474 Looks ready for a 40 HR season
user49016 Team Serena
⏳
fernando's gaslighting himself so bad rn 💀💀