. * . * Poison . * . *
Darrian's POV
December , 12th
Wednesday, 1:35 am
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' Know you ride it right .
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The lights in the club shined bright and dimly at the same time. Music blasting through the big loud speakers while most of the people in here are dancing, smoking and or drinking. But me I'm just chilling on one of the red leather couches smoking a blunt. My thoughts keep leading to the last time me and this one girl fucked. It's been four months. We broke up four months ago. I can't keep my mind off of her, especially right now in the club where we met a year and seven months ago. Ever since we broke up my mind has been worried about music, money and her. Although I just started thinking about her a month ago.
When we broke up people would tag us on each others post and screenshot our stories when we started throwing shade at each other. Eventually I started showing signs that I was missing her; I couldn't text her cause she had me blocked on everything. We had some issues in our relationship. I started getting distant a few months after we got together because of my career. I told her in the beginning about it and I guess she was alright with it at first until I started not answering her calls, and text. I was always out late at the studio; I made it home around late midnight which she was sleep because she tried her best to stay awake. She always had dinner made for me when I made it home but never ate it due to me being tired.
At the start she wouldn't say anything about how she felt until she got tired of hearing it. The next morning she'd wake up and wait for me to wake up which I never woke up until it was an hour or thirty minutes before I had to go to the studio. In those twenty to thirty minutes she'd talk to me about how she felt and I told her that I would make it up to her, or something that would start an argument that I wasn't trying to start in the beginning. I kept lying to her so that after some time she broke up with me, it was a healthy one because we both agreed. Next thing I know she blocked me on everything I tried texting or calling her on.
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' I might just die tonight .
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At the time I just felt like she was always bothering me about wanting attention since I never had time to give her any. Some days I was off all I did was eat and sleep, if not that then I was out with the guys chilling at one of their cribs; something she didn't like not one bit. But now I understand where she's coming from, I thought about all that time and realized she just wanted to spend a little time with me instead of me going out with the guys. I'm now sitting in my car thinking about her still. I told Dd and them that I was going home even though they didn't believe me not one bit.
They know where I'm trying to go and they didn't try and stop me. I really do miss that girl, everyone knows it and they can see it. I haven't seen no screenshots of her posting about missing me. But she's not the type to put her business on the internet— I don't know how people found out about us breaking up yet they did. I went on instagram and confirmed it. That's it. That's all. People on there think it's because I cheated or she cheated and other shit but neither one of us said why we broke up. Luckily nobody knew the reason besides a few people I've told and maybe the people she told.
I been sitting here for at least forty minutes contemplating if I should bother her or not. I know she still live in the same place because she just moved there two months before we broke up. It's late at night and I know she's sleep right now so that's why I been debating so much. She don't play about her sleep when she lays down in that bed she not leaving it unless she gotta use the restroom real bad. Im just gon go anyway.
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' But you know I'm still coming through baby .
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I just made it to her place. I walked up the stairs and down the hall going straight until I made it to the end; right in front of the door. It reads 506 the number I used to see all the time, the number I used to be happy to see just because of who's behind the door. My hands started getting sweaty from the nerves in my body growing by the second. I don't know why I'm nervous. maybe because she might shut the door in my face or look through the peep hole and not answer the door when she sees it's me.
Maybe because she could ask who it is through the door instead and tell me to go away when I answer. For some reason they have door bells in here so I rang the doorbell on the wall hoping she'll hear it— she should because she's a light sleeper. Some seconds later I hear the locks unlock, the door opened revealing her in a silk black robe. Her eyes showing confusion and tiredness in them, her black lace wig is pulled into a ponytail kind of messy since she just woke up. I looked her up and down seeing she got a fresh pedicure and manicure. That's something I loved about her, she always kept her nails and toes done. I paid for them sometimes because the other times she wanted to pay herself— It only happened twice.
I didn't like her paying for herself, I personally think since she was the one always cooking, working and other shit in the house then I'd be buying a bunch of things for her, of course she didn't like it so she'd buy me things as well. "What are you doing here so late at night Darrian?" She asked, snapping me from out of admiring her. I looked up kind of stuck on what to say; her beauty still gets to me just like it used to. It never stopped. "I wanna talk to you." I said with a stern tone, before she could respond I walked right in leaving her at the door with a shock look on her face.
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' I know it's bad for me .
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Exactly what I wanted, she always wanna avoid somebody but not today. She gon sit down and listen to what I have to say wether she wants to or not. I heard the door shut and lock as I made my way towards her room. When I walked in I turned on one of the lamps on her side table and took off my jeans and sweatshirt. I walked to her dresser opening the side that used to be mine and found a pair of my shorts still neatly folded like they haven't been touched which I'm sure they haven't.
I changed into the shorts while she walked in fixing her robe— retying it. She sat down on her bed grabbing the water bottle from her side table and taking a few sips from it. Once she was done she put it back watching me walk to her bed, sitting right down next to her. "What is there to talk about?" She asks, covering the lower half of her body keeping eye contact with me. Man her eyes are so beautiful, one of her best features on her face is what made me really fall in love with her.
I let out a deep breath, throwing my head back against the headboard. I made eye contact with her again, "Igh ima say it straight like this.. I miss you. I know how I was thinking and what I was doing was wrong but I'm willing to change that for real. I know I said that last time but I realized that all you wanted was for me to make time for you and give you reassurance." I said with a serious voice, I know it's hard for her to try and think about it so I'm not gon say nothing else until she says something.
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' And you know it tastes so sweet .
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Courtlen's feelings is something I cherish the most although at the time I guess I didn't and I regret that the most. She wanted me to give her reassurance but I wasn't paying her no mind and that's what really made us fall apart. "I don't know Darrian.. Actions speak louder than words and I don't know if I can go through that again. What if you don't give me reassurance? What if you don't show me attention? I miss you too trust me. But I just don't know.." she said truthfully. Her voice soft meaning that she really was thinking about. Of course I knew this was coming. Courtlen isn't a easy person when it comes to stuff like this. Shit even when I wanted to talk to her it was difficult.
I simply nodded my head in understanding. "Can we at least be cool, I just don't miss being with you. I miss us being friends." I admit, being in a relationship with Courtlen is like saying she's also my best friend. Yea we did couple shit but we were also doing best friend shit as well. Technically being in a relationship is like your significant other is your best friend. That's what I miss about her.
She laughed a little while nodding her head, "yes Darrian we can start off being friends again.." I watch her tilt her said to the side— placing her hands ontop of her thighs as she smiles at me. Her eyes holding a crazy look, something I've never seen in them before. Yea ima get her back. We both gon do some damage to each other but that's ok.
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' I think I need your abuse baby .
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