"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet. . ."
-Bob Dylan💋
Chapter 43:
August
Later On That Day
A Great Sadness. . .
August carried Ariel out of the hospital, and she clung to him desperately as he placed her in his car. She cried silently the entire way to her home. August did not know what to say to quell her pain, for he was hurting too, so he didn't say anything at all.
When the news had already spread to their friends and her family in the hospital about her miscarriage, he hated hearing the million apologies from people who could never understand. He didn't want to be another useless voice in her ear, knowing that at this point he wouldn't even believe anything that came out of his own mouth.
He wasn't going to tell her that it would be all right, because he knew for a fact that this pain was never going to go away for either of them. They would feel the loss of their first unborn child for the rest of their lives. All he could do was help her bear this new cross, as he tries to do the same for himself.
He reached over and grabbed her hand as he whipped his car through the city streets. When Ariel felt August wrap her hand in his, she squeezed it tightly, hanging on for dear life. In one night she had lost something so precious and dear in her life, not realizing what she had until now that it was gone.
God had blessed her, and because she was so selfish and ungrateful to realize it, her terrible mistakes had costed her baby's life.
As she stared out of the window, she realized that August was not the best man to be with, but he was the one who was truly meant for her. August pulled up to her building and parked his car. He helped her out of the car and into the apartment, where he removed her clothing.
As he pulled her shirt over her head he wished he could take away some of her grief, knowing that he was more capable of handling it all than she was.
"Lift ya' leg, ma," he whispered as he removed her jeans.
He put her clothes in a plastic bag and tossed it in the trash.
"No," she whispered, reaching her hand out to stop him. "Don't just throw them away."
August nodded, understanding that she was trying to hold on to every little piece of their lost child. It has sentimental value, just from her wearing them.
He retrieved the bag and replied, "I'll have'em cleaned fa' ya'."
She stood in her living room in just her panties and bra and pulled at her long hair as she closed her eyes. August picked her up and carried her to her bedroom and into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, then kicked off his Jordans before he stepped inside with Ariel still in his arms.
"Stand up fa' me, baybeh' gurl'," August spoke.
When she thought about how she had caused him to feel the same exact loss, and he was still able to remain strong for the both of them, she broke down all over again with guilt burdening her soul. The water hit her body as her overdosing replayed in her mind on a loop.
She sobbed with her face in her hands. August allowed her to cry as he grabbed a loofah and softly washed her body. He paid attention to every part of her body to make sure that he didn't leave a single trace untouched, even washing her hair. By the time he was done he was soaking wet, but the Balmains could be replaced.
Ariel was important to him, and he knew that right now she needed to be catered to. She was fragile and vulnerable. He made it his personal mission to make sure this didn't destroy her. . . Or them for that matter. After drying her body and lotioning her down from head to toe, he dressed her in one of his t-shirts that he had left at her apartment.
He tucked her in and whispered, "I'm hea' if ya' need me."
Ariel did not respond. She simply stared at the wall as a lone tear escaped and fell onto her pillow. She heard August leave the room, and she balled her fist and bit her finger to stop herself from crying too loudly. She knew that sleep would not come easy, because all she would see in her head was the night when she overdosed in the club bathroom, where it started it all.
August closed his eyes as he removed his wet clothing and sat down on the bed in the guest room. He couldn't believe that their child was gone. The devastation that he saw in Ariel is what hurt him the most.
She's neva' goin' ta' get ova' 'dis, he thought as he lay back on the bed and stroked his chin hairs. Shit... Ion' think I will be able ta' eitha'.
He could hear her crying in the next room, and the pit of his stomach felt hollow just knowing that she was suffering. He was suffering as well, just in silence because his body had became so numb to the excruciating pain.
He never wanted to see her this way, and as much as he wanted to give her space, her cries were like a magnet, they drew him near. He arose from the bed shirtless, only throwing on a pair of sweatpants and went back into her bedroom.
Ariel heard him open the door and although her back was turned to him, she could feel his presence.
"Hold me," she requested.
August got into the bed with Ariel and wrapped his arms around her, causing her crying to cease. He rubbed her back in tiny circles for hours before she finally drifted to sleep. As August lay in bed with her in his arms, he felt himself becoming emotional.
The disappointment, slight resentment and sorrow that he felt, couldn't be explained, and it was hard for him to even fathom. Still in all, his love for her remains the same, and he promised himself that they were going to make it through this heartbreak together. Doing whatever it takes to repair it.
*****
Ariel
One Week Later. . .
Death seemed to have its claws sinked into Ariel. Just after she had been released from the hospital, a week later, her great Uncle Nate unfortunately ended up passing away from fighting a long-time battle with congestive heart failure and dementia.
Sadly, Ariel couldn't grieve. Or she wasn't necessarily allowed the space to, considering her cousins were always on her case, nagging and hounding her about the funeral arrangements. Her mother had sent money in order to cover it as a way to pay her respects, but she refused to have any actual dealings, leaving the entire responsibility on Ariel. She didn't even expect her to attend the service, hence the enormous check that she had received.
Luckily, she had August in her corner to help manage keeping her sane. Even though majority of the days she felt like she was a zombie, just barely existing and going through the motions, she was grateful to have him by her side in her trying times of need.
He had been so strong, patient, kind and gentle. Beyond understanding of all of the traumatic incidents that had been occurring, and when things seemed to be at it's worst putting Ariel in a much darker space, August was always there to provide a bright light.
Even when it came to her nightmares, he would simply wrap his arms around her body and embrace her tightly, making all of her fears and pain suffice. This was one of the many reasons why she still so desperately loved him... even after all that they've been through.
Droplets of rain cascaded down the windowpanes of Lynett Funeral Home, and the sun was merely a figment of the imagination. The dark gray clouds held it prisoner behind their foggy mist, and the day was cold and dreary at best welcoming the new season of fall.
Ariel stood by the window, looking out at the cars splashing up rainwater with their tires, their windshield wipers going back and forth like pendulums. It was early evening, not quite dusk, and the Friday work traffic was beginning to taper off in the upper Eastside of Manhattan.
Most New Yorkers were already sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, ordering a round of drinks with coworkers at happy hour, or settling down in the safety of their own homes to catch the evening news on television. Meanwhile, Ariel was dealing with this gut-wrenching madness that was formally known as her life.
She sighs deeply, wishing that August was here with her to pick out caskets instead of her annoying cousins, Nina and Joann, as well as their dotting grandmother, Estella, who was also Uncle Nate's sister. One would think that this day would bring some kind of peace and unity, but it unfortunately turned into a big mess.
Nothing was getting done due to Nina and Joann's arguing, and while their grandmother was too busy being the mediator of the two, Ariel on the other hand was way too busy with trying not to lose her sanity with being surrounded by the constant reminder of death. Being in the funeral home was extremely triggering for her, and she desperately wanted to escape.
Several times Ariel wanted to dash out of there while mumbling a fabricated excuse, but under these circumstances the alternative was not acceptable. She was stuck in hell.
"This is one of our most popular models," says the funeral home director, as he points out another casket to the three of them, while Ariel remains disengaged continuing to stare out of the window. "Fashioned from pure cherrywood."
"Mmm," Estella nodded in approval as she glanced over the casket.
The funeral home director stood amongst them confidently and tucked his hands in the pockets of his slacs, "It sells for $95."
"Surely you don't mean $9,500 dollars?" Nina questioned.
"It's our top-of-the-line," he answered coyly.
She shook her head, "Oh, you need to show us something a little less pricey."
"Nina, don't be so cheap." Joann quickly interjects. "It's for Uncle Nate. Besides, Aunt Dee sent Ari' 'dat check to use for 'dis anyway."
"Yeah, for da' entire funeral, Ann." Nina explains. "Not just for one thing, and I'm not gonna' blow da' entire check on a expensive ass casket."
"But it's for Uncle Nate," Joann protests.
"I know who it's for, Ann, okay? You don't have to keep telling me 'dat." Nina angrily snapped.
"Well somebody has to, shit Ari' ain't said a damn thing since we picked her up 'n all she's been doing is staring out of 'dat fucking window--"
"--Joann, you watch your mouth!" Estella scolded.
"Well it's true! Look at her," she pointed at Ariel causing them both to glance in her direction, and just as Joann had stated, Ariel's attention was still glued to the window staring off in a catatonic state.
"Okay, she just lost a freaking baby," Nina tried to reason.
"--So! We lost Uncle Nate, and she acts like she doesn't even care." Anne Marie harshly whispered. "Aunt Deidra too, I mean all she does is just send money? Come on, 'dats messed up. Like she always thinks 'dats just da' answer for everything and it's not."
"Look, you doing a whole lot of complaining." Nina said beyond annoyed. "But do you intend to walk out of here with a $10,000 dollar casket?"
"I intend to give Uncle Nate da' send-off I think he deserves." Joann smartly replied as she rolled her neck.
Nina quickly returns the attitude with one of her own refusing to back down from her younger sister, "We can do 'dat without spending a lot of money on something 'dats just gonna' lie in da' ground."
Anne Marie scoffs, "Bet. I'll remember 'dat when it's time to pick out yours."
"You know what, Anne--"
"--What?"
"Ladies, please! Mind your manners," Estella intervened, tired of their ongoing dispute. "This is not the time or the place for this low class squabbling."
"Perhaps, you'd prefer one of the more common hardwoods." The funeral home director suggested, while holding open another casket.
"No," said Joann. "We don't want common anything. 'Dis is da' last thing we're gonna' do for Uncle Nate and its gonna' be right."
Naturally growing frustrated with indecision, the director carelessly dropped the lid of the casket, causing it to slam shut forcibly and noisily. The unexpected sound almost made Ariel damn near jump out of her skin, as she was instantly triggered by the memories of her past trauma.
Her kidnapping, having to take a life, the shooting at her engagement party, overdosing and loosing her baby, to even August getting shot were all of the thoughts racing throughout her mind like a terrifying horror film. Now, her Uncle Nate was gone, and reality was beginning to sink in.
It was way too much for her fathom, making her skin crawl as she suddenly became stricken with grief. With the strong familiarity of death looming in the air, and with all that she had been through, Ariel just couldn't take it anymore. She felt suffocated, stifled, and without uttering a single word, she hastily stormed out the funeral home with tears in her eyes.
The director noticed her uneasiness and instantly apologized, "I'm so sorry about that," he said, feeling as though he had came off being insensitive to their plight.
Nina, Joann, and Grandma Estella watched an upset Ariel leaving in confusion, and were completely lost to what had just transpired.
"Oh, I'll go get her," said Nina, as she walked out of the room.
"What's wrong with her?" Estella asked, turning to Anne Marie as they both followed Nina's lead. "Where did she go?"
"I don't know," shrugged Joann, trailing behind her sister as they went outside.
Ariel was standing underneath the overhead of the entrance, trying to keep dry from the pouring rain as she cried tears of remorse.
"Ari', are you okay?" Nina asked, seeing the evident distress etched upon her cousin's face.
They all crowded around her in worry, as Ariel drops her head in defeat.
"What's wrong, baby?" Estella questioned, tucking Ariel's hair behind her ear. "Tell us what's going on."
"What is it, Uncle Nate?" Nina asked.
"--No, just, leave me alone. Go away," Ariel tries to walk off, but her grandmother grabbed her by the arm.
"Nobody is going anyplace with you in this state." Estella says sternly. "What is the matter?"
Ariel didn't respond, she was way too choked up to even speak.
"Ari'!" Estella panicked, forcefully lifting her chin to make Ariel look her in the eyes. "Tell Grandma what is wrong!"
"--It was da' noise!" she finally answered.
"Da' casket lid?" Nina questioned.
"Yes..... it--it sounded like when they slammed da' door to da' van closed." Ariel cries, as she recalled her kidnapping. "And 'den it, it reminded me of--of a gunshot."
"Ari', what are you talking about?" Joann asked in concern.
".....They threw me into a van with a pillowcase over my head and, it was dark." Ariel began to explain that traumatic night the best way she could, but her rattled nerves were getting the better of her. "Just like da' casket, and 'den they slammed da' door shut! Just before knocking me out--"
"--Oh, my God, come over here sit down." Estella guides her over towards a nearby bench making her take a seat.
Nina was beyond lost as to what was going on, and glances back at Joann in confusion.
"What is she talking about?" Nina asked in just above a whisper.
Joann shrugged, "I don't know."
Feeling herself on the verge of hyperventilating, Ariel released deep shallow breaths as she tries to regain her composure.
"What is going on?" Nina asked, kneeling down in front of her.
Ariel calmed herself before responding, "About a few months ago, August had got into sum' mess 'dat involved Jarod and Miami. Things had escalated between August and Jarod, and to get even with him, Miami wanted to seek revenge in order to settle a score.... He kidnapped me... he sent sum' guys to ambush me while I was in my car, and they... they took me."
"Oh, my God..." Joann whispered in astonishment.
" 'Dis is unbelievable," said Nina. "Why didn't you tell us?!"
Ariel shook her head as tears continued to fall, "Because, there was nothing you could do it was over."
"Over?!" Joann exclaims. "No, Ari', it is not over we have to go to da' police!--"
"--No!" Ariel quickly protests. "We can't call da' police, besides it happened months ago."
"So what?! We still have to say something," Anne Marie insisted. "Regardless of when it happened."
"No, Ann, you don't get it! We can't!..." Ariel tries to convince, now regretting ever opening up her mouth. "We really can't call da' cops..."
"Ari', you need to tell us everything 'dat happened," said Nina. "Why can't we call da' police?"
"Because... there was a man, and he...." Ariel trailed off breathless as she wept, not wanting to rehash that excruciating pain, but she knew that she had no choice. She sighs deeply before continuing on, "He tried to.... I was almost raped... okay? And in order for me to survive, I had to kill 'dat man... I had too. So I shot him, and I should've kept shooting him but.... he was already dead. So if you call da' cops, 'den I'm going to jail... 'Dats da' whole story."
"Then we won't let that happen," Estella reassured her.
In complete disbelief, Nina couldn't fathom what she was hearing, " 'Dis is insane."
"Okay wait, Ari', so all of 'dis happened because August was involved with sum' street mess?" Anne Marie questioned, trying to get clarity.
"Yeah..." Ariel trailed off, as she dropped her head feeling shameful. "But then... we had an engagement party and.... 'dats when everything just got worse..."
Joann glances at the engagement ring that her cousin was still faithfully wearing, before looking at her sister and grandmother in shock. She couldn't believe that Ariel had been keeping these secrets from them after all this time, even to the fact that she was going to elope and not even involve her own family.
"Oh, Ari'... " she trails off in dismay. Anne Marie shook her head, "You gotta' leave Aug'."
Estella shot her a look that spoke volumes, "Joann, what are you talking about?"
"Grandma, 'dis is too much," she said with an indigent tone. "Now you know, 'dat she's never had good taste in men, and all 'dis thuggery has gone way too far! 'Dis is da' last straw--"
"--Ann, I don't think now is da' time for her to be thinking about 'dat." Nina objects in her defense. "What Ari' needs is help."
"I wanna' go home," Ariel sobbed.
"All right, baby," Estella wrapped her arms around her granddaughter, trying her best to console her. "All right, everything is gonna' be just fine."
"Ari', you can't go home." Joann stated. "Not as long as Aug' is there--"
"--Joann Marie!! If she wants to go home, then that's where we're gonna' take her!" Estella scolded, tired of hearing her run her mouth. "Now, Nina, go get the car!"
Nina's hesitancy caused the grandmother to grow inpatient, quickly snapping at her as well.
"Go, get, the car!" Estella demanded. "If you don't take her then I will!"
Doing as she was told, Nina got up and headed towards the parking lot.
"We gon' get you sum' help," said Joann, as she wrapped her arm around her cousin and comforted her along with their grandmother.
*****
Omniscient
Later on that afternoon. . .
Within the hour Ariel along with her cousins and grandmother had arrived at her apartment. Estella helped her granddaughter to the bedroom.
"We're gonna' get you in the bed, okay? So you can get some rest, sweetie. I want you to take it easy," she whispered, as Joann assisted with her in guiding Ariel down the hall.
After ensuring that she was comfortable, Joann joined her sister in the kitchen. The smell of mocha thickened the air, as Nina grinded fresh coffee beans.
"We'll need it," Nina said when Joann entered the room. "Seems like it's going to be a long evening."
Exasperated, Joann flopped down on one of the bar stools that lined the kitchen island that sat in the middle of the room. She folded her hands atop of the counter, as she looked up at Nina anxiously.
"Now it all makes sense," she said. " 'Dats why she's been acting so strange. All 'dat fighting and partying 'dat she was doing, it all makes perfect sense."
" 'Dats why she relapsed," Nina adds astonishingly.
Joann shook her head in disbelief, "It was right in front of our eyes and we missed it.... Even with her getting engaged and her pregnancy. I mean think about it, Nina, we ain't even know until da' doctor told us 'dat she had a miscarriage."
"Yeah," Nina agreed. "You're right..."
The two sisters sat in silence, each haunted by their own thoughts. The ache in their hearts from forsaken their cousin resonated within them.
"God, what is with all of da' secrecy lately?" Joann questioned. "Why did she keep 'dis from us? Like she said absolutely nothing. I mean, I get why grandma wasn't an option, or even me for 'dat matter but... she didn't even say anything to you. It's like she's just been holding all of 'dis fucked up ass shit in, and acting out while dying in plain sight. Isn't 'dat crazy to you?"
"All of it is crazy as hell to me," said Nina. "I mean shit, I know we ain't been on da' best of terms with each other but, I never thought 'dat Ari' would ever feel like she couldn't come to me... Especially with something like 'dat."
"Do you think 'dat everything 'dat she was doing was like sum' sort of cry for help?" she asked.
Nina nodded, "Maybe. I mean, Ari' isn't da' most vocal when it comes to expressing her feelings and emotions."
" 'Dats true..." Joann was quiet as she pondered Nina's words. However, she refused to allow for that to be the alternative any further. "Well, we have to help her. Through all of it... I know 'dat I may not have always shown it but.... I care. I do.... and I don't want anything to happen to her. Seriously, Nina, after Uncle Nate... I don't think 'dat I can handle another loss."
"We are not, going to lose her." Nina reassured. "We're going to get Ari' all of da' help 'dat she needs. So you can't think like 'dat, Anne. She's going to be fine, I promise you. Right now, she's good and she's resting, and most importantly, she's safe. We just, have to be there for her."
Joann nodded, "And we will. But Nina, our cousin could have been killed. Doesn't 'dat scare you?"
"Of course it does, but we can't dwell on 'dat right now--"
Hearing the deadbolts to the front door suddenly unlock, instantly halted the sisters conversation as they both glance at the entrance of the kitchen. Joann frowns in suspicion.
"Was someone else supposed to be coming by to check on Ari'?" she asked curiously.
Nina shook her head, "Not 'dat I was aware of."
Before Joann could respond, the entire room seemed to freeze as August emerged standing in front of them. Nina and Anne Marie stared at him, eyes wide, mouths open in shock from his presence.
"Wassup? Whea's Ari'?" August greeted, disregarding their facial expressions because he wasn't beat for their bullshit tonight.
He was well aware of their strong dislike for him being in Ariel's life, simply because in their eyes he was just another nigga from the hood. They believed that their cousin was way too good for him, and that he didn't deserve her unconditional love.
At times, August would feel as though they were right, knowing that what he had was extremely valuable. But his soul was pure and his love for Ariel was real, and even though at certain moments her cousins made him feel insecure, he never showed it. Never once letting them see him sweat.
Nina shook her head in denial, "Why didn't you come to us when Ari' was abducted?"
"Oh, come on nyh', look I feel bad enough, aight? 'N I definitely don't need y'all all in our business," he bluntly replied, suddenly thrown off by them coming at him with some old shit.
Joann quickly jumped up from her seat, "Our cousin's safety is our business."
"Well it's my job ta' protect my woman, Anne Marie." August snapped. " 'N I had no control ova' what happened, so don't go blamin' me!"
"Do you know what post-traumatic stress is?" Nina asked, walking from around the island as she stood beside her sister.
August scoffs, "Yes, Nina, I do!"
"And you can't see 'dat Ari' might be suffering from it?" she questioned, as she folded her arms. "And I would think hard about what I was going to say, because she had a breakdown in da' funeral home today."
"A breakdown??" he repeated.
"Yeah," Joann answered full of attitude.
Hearing this caused him to worry, "Is she okay?!"
"Well, she's fine now," said Nina. "Our grandmother just put her to sleep."
"Oh, hell nah'!" August exasperates. "I gotta' go check on ha'," he turns to leave the room to go search for Ariel, but Nina quickly grabbed him by his arm stopping him.
"Aug', please!" she begged.
"Nina, believe me. I know Ari' has been thru' a lot, but I've been hea' wit' ha' 'n she seems ta' be gettin' betta' er'day." August tries to reassure.
Joann scoffs, "Well Aug', 'dat just goes to show what you don't know!"
"Exactly," Nina agreed.
"--Joann Marie, I just put Ari' to sleep!" Estella scolded as she enters into the kitchen. "Would you calm down, lower your voice!"
"No I can't calm down, grandma!" Joann exclaims. "Aug' put my cousin's life in danger but now he's saying he's not responsible!--"
"--Oh, my God!! I am not sayin' I didn't play a part in it but I'm doin' er'thang I can ta' help ha' get thru' it, Anne." he said with a direct tone.
"Except tell her family," added Nina.
"Right! Us!" Joann yelled. "We're her family!"
"How come you and Anne Marie didn't see what was happening to her?" Estella asked.
The two sisters glance at one another now becoming silent.
"Because 'dey haven't been talkin' ta' each otha'." August informed.
"And how long has this been going on?"
"Too long fa' it ta' make sense."
"--Okay, thank you, Aug'!" Joann interrupted, tired of August trying to throw them under the bus.
"Don't try ta' play high 'n mighty wit' me, Anne," August said, his voice suddenly cold. "Nyh' I've heard da' foul way ya' been runnin' yo' mouth about Ari' lately, 'n I ain't said nun'. But nyh' ya' wanna' sit in my face 'n act like ya' care about ha'? Whea' was all of 'dis concern at da' otha' day, huh? Or a week ago fa' 'dat matta'? Look, ya' may not like me, but I've been da' one 'dats been hea' fa' ha', holdin' ha' down. When all ya' been doin', is trashin' ha' 'n me er'chance ya' get. So don't come at me like ya' know it all, aight? Cause ya' don't even know da' half of it," he warned threateningly.
Estella nodded, taking in everything that she was hearing.
"I see..." she trails off, looking between Nina and Joann. "So you two have just been going on about life, while your cousin has been suffering from all of this."
"Basically--"
"--Aug', can you please stop!" Nina pleads.
"Well it's da' truth!--"
"--What's going on here?" Ariel asked in confusion, as she enters into the kitchen.
They all got extremely quiet at the sight of her presence, not wanting to worry her with the conversation at hand. However, Ariel wasn't dumb and she knew that were talking about her.
"I asked, what is going on?" she demanded.
"Well yo' cousins wanna' blame er'thang on me." August finally admitted.
"--No!" Nina answers quickly. "Don't clump me into Anne's drama!"
Ariel sucked her teeth, "Y'all I've already told you 'dat we're working things out ourselves! So everybody can just go home!"
"You stop it. Just, stop it!! Just stop this!!!" Estella shouted, tired of all of the nonsense. The entire room ceased, as they all stared at her in shock. She glares at each one of them in pure disappointment, ".....Now I had a feeling, that something wasn't right here.... Do you know that every year on my birthday I always get the chance to spend time with my granddaughters? This year, my birthday came and went I never heard from nobody. And Anne Marie, you even live with me, and I still barely see you cause you're out doing God knows what but have the audacity to judge somebody... What is wrong here? I think it's time for you to sit down and sort this out. Please, don't end up like your mothers and me!"
Joann frowns in confusion, "What? I thought y'all were so close?"
"I think I know what happened between me and my daughters, and I think I know better than you." Estella said sternly, then stormed out of the kitchen.
"Oh, my God..." Nina trails off in dismay. "What just happened?"
"I think yall need ta' listen ta' ha'. Dats what just happened," said August, as he walked over toward Ariel and put his arms around her. "Come on, baybeh'. I need ta' get'chu back ta' bed."
Not even responding, Ariel simply nodded allowing him to walk her back to her bedroom. Nina and Joann were still speechless about what had just transpired, as they both stood beside one another completely stunned.
They had never seen their grandmother get so up in arms, and they knew that it was because of them for pushing the situation so hard. They had overstepped their bounds, and decided that it would be their best bet to just leave quietly. Ariel was an adult, and even though they loved her, all they could do was hope and pray that she would make the best decision for herself.
------
Nothing without you by Tanerélle. . .
Later on that night. . .
August stared out of the window of the apartment as he leaned his head against his forearm. The city that never sleeps was still lively at 3:30 A.M., and August unfortunately was no different. His mind was restless.
Sleep didn't come easy for him these days, and the more he pondered on the argument that he had with Nina and Anne Marie, the more he regretted knowing that their words held more truth than he wanted to admit.
Every since he's came into Ariel's life, he had brought nothing but misery and deception upon her. Leaving her alone and helpless, when in those times he was supposed to be there by her side, protecting her at all costs. But no matter how hard he tired to do right, make things right, he always seemed to fail. Their baby had even suffered from behind it all.
It was a constant burden that rested on him. It was the cause of all of his tensions. Sometimes, he felt as if he should just walk away for good, but August knew that there was only one true choice... To stay. Staying is what his heart yearned for, and he didn't realize that Ariel's heart was yearning the same exact way. For him, to stay...
Laying wide awake, Ariel waited for hours for August to come to bed, but he never showed. Her sleep was disturbed from having another nightmare, and she found herself not being able to shake her fears until he joined her.
Minutes turned to hours and her eyes grew heavy. She thought of going to him, but knew that if he wanted her company he would have sought it. So she gave him space, giving him time to think as she hugged a pillow to her lonely body. She stared at the green numbers on the clock.
3:45 A.M.
After what happened between him and her cousins tonight, she knew that August was feeling some type of way. She wished that he would talk to her, that he would confide in her. August undoubtedly had a lot on his mind, but so did she. She wanted to comfort him and in return to have his comfort.
She closed her eyes, giving into the exhaustion just as he walked into the room. The silhouette of her body could be seen from the doorway, and her light snores told him that she was asleep.
He had brought her into his life thinking that they could settle down, when in actuality things were so far out of control. He crawled into bed beside her. The weight of him caused the bed to shift slightly, announcing his presence. Ariel turned to face him.
"Hey, baby," she said.
"Ya' know, I've been thinkin' about sum'thin," he replied.
Ariel wrapped her arm around him pulling him closer toward her, as August did the same gently stroking her back.
"About what?" she asked sympathetically.
"I was thinkin' about me stickin' aroun', 'n bein' hea' wit'chu... Is probably, doin' mo' harm than good.... 'N maybe yo' cousins were right, 'n da' best thing fa' ya' is 'dat... Is 'dat we split up. But 'dis time, fa' good." August said, his words full of pain and his heart full of sorrow.
Ariel released a deep sigh as she glanced away briefly, before bringing her attention back to him.
"You know... there was a time, where I was considering 'dat option," she honestly admitted. "But, were working 'dis thing out."
"Yeah, but, Anne Marie said 'dat--"
"--Don't worry about what Anne said," Ariel quickly cut him off, not caring about the opinions of her cousin. "She doesn't live here, and she's certainly not in 'dis relationship.... You know, I'll be very honest with you.... I don't, trust you fully... Not da' way I once did, but I want 'dat feeling again... You know I wanna' be able to look at you and feel safe. So I think we should just, continue to take things one day at a time..." she expressed.
August was quiet as he pondered on her words, realizing that he could never leave her. To lose a love like Ariel's hurt tremendously, and would surely fill his days with regret as long as he lived. No one understood his plight. The game had his loyalty and he was in it to win it, but since the moment he saw Ariel that night standing on the sidewalk and then later on in a crowded casino, she seized his heart.
He caressed the side of her cheek, "...Okay."
"I'm gonna' take Nina's advice and um... see a therapist... Somebody who might be able to help me get better. I think da' only way for us to figure out if you and I could survive 'dis thing is... if you stay right here," she said.
He looked into her eyes, "...Are ya' sure?"
Ariel smiles at him, as she nodded her head.
"Yes," she whispered. She touched his face and ran her thumb across his bushy eyebrows, taming them. "I'm sure."
"I love ya'," he replied simply.
"I love you too," she answered wholeheartedly.
He stared into her soul and concluded that she would forever be his. Jaded past, faults, and all, she belonged to August and vice versa. He kissed her lips passionately and slowly made his way south. He put her to sleep with an earth shattering orgasm as the sun rose into the sky.
--------------
Copyright © 2019 by Ariel O. Jones
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof
may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever
without the express written permission of the publisher
except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Printed in the United States of America
First Printing, 2019
**************