Zoe
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Felix held my hand all the way to the hotel. Even though it did make driving very clumsy, he refused to stop holding onto me. I wondered if he felt the same way as I did the few times we lost contact. It was like falling into a pit. I also wondered if it would always feel like that, or if the intensity would fade after a while.
I did assume that it would fade, or at least that desperate and dark feeling when we didn't touch would go away. It wasn't like all mated couples constantly touched each other. That would make life difficult. In theory I would assume that after the mate bond was solidified some of that would disappear.
The mate bond... I really had to tell and explain everything about it to Felix as soon as we got to the hotel. It wouldn't be fair to him otherwise. He needed to get the option on if he wanted all that being mates meant or not. Though the idea of him walking away now was unbearable. But maybe he would. That would fit perfectly into my life, wouldn't it. Things are finally going right only for my mate to reject me.
Well, I never deserved him in the first place.
"What are you think about?" Felix asked after throwing me a glance before returning to paying attention to the traffic.
"Nothing," I answered and made my voice light.
"You were biting your lip."
"I was?"
"Yes. And you always do that when you're worried or nervous about something."
His words surprised me. I had never noticed myself and no one had ever told me before. It also made me slightly embarrassed to think that I was that easy to read.
"You don't have to be nervous about anything," he continued. "If anything feels uncomfortable or not right, just tell me."
His words were meant to calm me, but they rather got me flustered. If the conversation went well that would happen. Even if we would together decide to wait a little with it, I didn't think that we could. Or at least I knew that waiting wasn't much of an option for me. Every time we touched, my body wanted more. If anything it would be difficult to be able to explain everything about mates before it was too late.
"I am nervous," I said as we pulled up to the hotel's parking lot. "But I do really want it. You'll have to let me explain a few things first though, alright? And... I'm honestly more afraid that you'll leave once I have."
He cupped my face and leaned in. Gave me a kiss that I assumed was meant to be a quick one, but that deepened. My arms went around his neck and he had one around my waist, pulled me towards him.
He tasted so wonderful and he felt gentle and passionate at the same time. He bit my lip and a moan escaped me, which made him pull me even closer to him and I welcomed it.
I broke out from the kiss to move myself, to make it so I would be on his lap facing him. His eyes were dark and filled with a wanting that sent shivers through my body. His breathing as uneven as mine.
But as I moved to sit on top of him, I pressed against the steering wheel and the car gave off a loud honk that made me jump and hit my head on the car ceiling.
The desire was gone from Felix's eyes in a flash. Concern flooded them instead. He placed a hand where I had hit my head and rubbed the spot gently.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"I... I'm fine," I answered and moved away from him again, feeling the embarrassment of making out in the car much more than the slight pain from hitting my head.
"You don't have to worry about whatever it is that you need to tell me. I love you. And I know I don't deserve your trust right now in this regard, but please believe that nothing you can say will change that." He kissed my forehead lightly, but immediately pulled away. "Now, let's get to the hotel room, before we're arrested for acting indecent in public."
We got out of the car and to my room, but I stopped outside of the door, embarrassed. I had left in such a hurry to see Felix before that I didn't have the key to the door on me.
"I forgot the key," I told him. "I'll have to use magic to open it."
He nodded and then I realized the next thing. He still wore an amulet.
"I can't do it while you're holding my hand. The amulet will stop me," I continued.
He didn't let go of me. Instead he took off the amulet and held it in his hand.
"That enough?" he asked.
I shook my head. "As long as you're in contact with it you're protected."
He sighed and let go of me, but I could see the reluctance. I turned to the door to make it quick. Mumbled the spell under my breath and did the accompanying hand movements. The lock clicked and I pushed the door open. When I turned back to Felix, he had a frown on his face.
He hadn't seen me ever use magic. Would he run now? Was this it?
"I always thought magic would look more impressive," he said and I felt relief.
"It can. More complicated magic does."
I stepped inside and he followed. As soon as the door was closed behind us, I found myself against the wall and Felix kissed me with a wild intensity. My mind went blank as I felt his lips to mine and his tongue explored my mouth. It felt so good. Excitement spread all through my body and I never wanted it to stop.
My hands were in his hair and I pushed me to him and him to me. I wanted to drown in him.
He moved away from my lips and kissed my neck. My breathing was ragged and as he sucked on my neck a moan left me. I wanted more.
He placed his hand on my bottom and lifted slightly. In sync I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist. My body rubbed against his and the tingling sensation, I was now getting used to, built inside of me. I wanted him even closer.
He took a stable hold of me and carried me over to the bed. He laid me down and quickly covered me with his body. I was trapped under him, but I had never felt so safe in my entire life. I wanted to stay like that forever.
Our lips were connected again and his taste of dark chocolate was everywhere in my mouth. Then he bit my lower lip. It was slightly harder than the two previous times, but it was a good amount of pain that only became pleasure and I gasped and moaned at the same time. But it also jolted me enough to remember that what was happening wasn't right. That we still needed to talk.
"Felix," I said and my voice shook. "I have things I have to tell you."
"Later," he murmured into my ear, his voice husky in a way it usually wasn't. "Can't it wait?"
He bit my earlobe before kissing me underneath my ear. Our bodies moved together, grinded into one another. For a moment I forgot about everything else again while he trailed kisses down my neck and to my shoulder.
"No," I finally managed to say. "It can't wait. I... I have to tell you before we continue."
Felix became still and leaned his forehead against my shoulder. He didn't say anything. The only sound was our heavy breathing mixing together. It felt horrible to stop it. My body screamed at me to continue. I felt hot and my nerves were on high alert, making even the smallest of touches send shivers down my body. I assumed that Felix felt something similar. But it was right to stop. I had to tell him before we mated.