Chapter 20: Eliminate
I take a deep breath holding a microphone so tight. I look at Jessi. She smile to me and I smile to her. The spotlight turn to us while everyone is watching.
Just do you're best, Ezra.
The music start playing. I'll flow in the rhythm of the beat. Jessi start singing her part.
"So many faces, so many races
Different voices, different choices
And some are mad, while others laugh
Some live alone with no better half
Others grieve, while others curse
And others mourn behind a big black hearse"
I look at her enjoying the show. That's the spirit, girl. I smirk and start singing my part.
"And some are pure, and some half-bred
And some are sober, and some are wasted
Some are rich because of fate"
I smile to everyone the whole time I'm singing. I thought being a center of attraction is not nice but I guess I'm wrong. I love this show. I really appreciate the view of everyone... watching and smiling, satisfied in my whole appearance.
"Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spinnin' round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world"
I look to her and we both staring each other. It's feel unsure. Parang kelan lang hindi kami okay ni Jessi. Parang kelan lang hindi ko sya makasundo. Pero look sabay kaming kumakanta. Sabay kaming nageenjoy. Sabay kaming nangarap. This friendship I built with her is amazing.
After a long song we ended up the show with a beautiful smile. We both bow and everyone clap. Lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko dahil natuwa sila sa perform namin ni Jessi. Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang kamay.
"We did it, Jessi. Right?" I whispered.
"Not yet, Ezra. Until we debut as a group." She chuckled natawa rin ako at hinampas ng mahina ang braso nya.
"What a wonderful show, Jessi and Ezra. Yeoleobun-ui mogsolie jinsim-eulo gamsadeulibnida. wanbyeoghage honhabdoeeo issseubnida. Thank you girls." (I really appreciate your voices. It's blended perfectly. ) Big Boss complement.
Nagpasalamat kami ni Jessi at abot ang ngiti sa tenga ko. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na okay na lahat. Nakapag perform na kami, ayos na kami ni Jessi. After ng comment ng jugdes ay lumabas n kami ng stage ni Jessi at sinalubong kami ng lahat at mahigpit na yakapan ang naganap.
"Congratulations girls!"
"Ackk! Ang ganda ng performance nyo!"
"Rank 1 na agad!"
"Manifesting na yan!"
Nagtawanan kami habang naguusap sa backstage. Simula noong first evaluation namin ay nakikita na sa buong mundo ang ginagawa namin. Naka live ang MI Entertainment kapag evaluation. Ang sabe ng ilang staff may gagwin silang one-on-one interview eh. Excited na nga ako at medyo kinakabahan.
"Second performers, Celestine and Catronia."
---
Tahimik ako at kabado habang nakaupo sa backstage. Tulala dahil ngayon din namin malalaman kung ano yung results ng evaluation namin. Tahimik din si Jessi habang nakayuko at hawak ang tyan. Tahimik akong lumapit sa kanya nagulat ako ng makita ko syang tahimik na umiiyak at palihim na humihikbi. Nataranta ako at hindi alam ang gagawin.
"Jessi? What's wrong? Bakit ka umiiyak?" Nataranta syang tumunghay at nagpunas ng luha.
"N-nothing... Sorry sa istorbo." Akma syang tatayo pero agad akong nagulat ng ma out of balance sya. Agad ko syang sinalo nakita ko na pawis na pawis sya tapos namumutla rin ang mukha.
"Jessi. Seriously are you okay? What's wrong? May sakit ka ba?" Agad akong nabigla ng marahas nya akong tinulak palayo at umatras sya sa akin.
"I'm fine, Ezra... just leave me alone."
Hawak nya tyan nya na para bang namimilipit sa sakit. Takha akong sinundan sya ng tingin papalayo. Ng matapos sina Celestine at Catronia ay nagulat din sila at wala si Jessi. Nagkibit balikat nalang ako at tahimik na umupo ulit. Ilang oras din ang tinagal bago kami pinapunta sa harap ng stage. Akala ko nga tapos na pero hindi pa naman nakakapag perform sina Attia, Calypso at Tiara. Wala sa harap ng stage si Jessi at kami lang na anim ang naroon.
"I have a sad news." Big Boss announce. Kinakabahan ako at hindi ako mapakali. Sad news? Bakit? Anong meron?
Napakapit na ako kay Calypso na kamay dahil sa nerbyos at pagkalito.
"Please come forward," lahat kami ay napalingon sa entrance ng stage. Lumakad si Jessi ng nakangiti pero kita ko sa mata nya na malungkot sya. Humarap sya sa amin at ngumiti. "Jessi from the Philippines. Volunteer her self to eliminate. Jessi Mercedes Ken, is now eliminated."
"W-what!?"
"The hell?"
"G-girl?"
Hindi ko na kaya tuluyan ng pumatak ang luha ko at patakbo na lumapit kay Jessi at niyakap sya ng mahigpit. She hug me tighter. I buried my face in her neck! Umiyak ako habang yakap sya.
"E-Ezra..." She sobbed.
Mabilis na yumakap ang iba habang naiyak. Bakit naman sya pa? Volunteer? Bakit? Ayaw nya parin ba rito? Okay na kami diba? Hindi ko na kaya! Sobrang sakit na huh. I'm healing because of her tapos may paganito pa? Sobra na talaga!
"W-why!? Jessi! Just why?! Okay na naman tayo diba!? Bakit kailangan mong umalis!? Sabay pa tayong mag debut lahat eh!? Bakit naman ganito!" Hindi ko na kinaya bumuhos na lahat ng luha ko.
"I... I'm sorry, Ezra..." Lumayo sya at hinarap ako. "Gustong-gusto kong manatili. Makasama pa kayo," nilibot ng tingin nya kaming lahat na maiiwan. "Mahal na mahal ko kayo eh. Sa sandali nating pagkikita at pagkilala gusto ko na agad magpatuloy pero... hindi ko na kaya eh."
"Alin? May masakit ba sayo?"
"Alin ang hindi mo na kaya?"
"Please tell to us, Jessi."
"Everyone, just remember this. I'm so happy to be part of this group, to be part of Melody. Continue to pursue our dreams. To debut... and becoming a global girl group."
"We are..."
Naghawak kamay kaming lahat habang umiiyak. Hindi na mapigilan ang paglandas ng luha.
"M-Melody," for the first time we enchanted our group name. Kung kelan aalis na ang isa sa amin. Kung kelan mababawasan na kami.
"Thank you girls. I really love you all." Jessi hug us again. "Ezra... thank you for the memories. I love you, girl."
"I love you too," I kiss her cheeks and pulled to me to give her a last hug. "Magkikita pa naman tayo diba?" I asked her. She chuckled and nodded slightly.
"Yes, I always watching you girls." She stepped forward, palayo sa amin habang nakangiti. "Thank you. I'm Jessi Mercedes Ken, from the Philippines. Member of Melody. Thank you for the months we become friends. Thank you for the new memories. Till we meet again." She smile and wave her hands.
We slowly wave our hands to give her a final farewell. I smile while my tears flowing down my face. The spotlight turns to her and the sad song start playing while she waving her hands. Big Boss and all of the judges even our managers clapping their hands.
I promise... we will meet again, Jessi. Let's see each other in the stage or even in the crowd. I will always find you, my friend.
She smile before walk away in the stage. Nanatili kaming nakatayo at umiiyak. Napayakap ako kay Calypso at umiyak sa balikat nya. Lumapit silang lahat para yumakap habang tinatamaw namin si Jessi na naglalakad palayo sa amin.
The evaluation continues at the midnight. Tulala ako habang nakaupo sa backstage hindi ko alam kung naging maayos ba yung performance nina Attia, Tiara at Calypso dahil sa nangyare. Lahat kami ay pinapunta sa stage, tahimik kami ako naman ay nagpupunas pa ng luha.
"Tonight is hurtful for one of us. I really need Jessi in the group. I really want her to stay... but it's her choice. She decide to end her journey as a idol. But in the middle of heartbreak, on the middle of break down. I know you did all you're best to save this evaluation. Thank you for the hard work." Big Boss clap his hand.
"I'll announce the ranking. This evaluation is individually ranking. Rank 6. Celestine. Rank 5. Catronia. Rank 4. Tiara. Rank 3. Attia. Rank 2. Calypso. And our Rank 1. Ezra! Congratulations girls."
I'll just simply smile and wave my hand. I don't appreciate actually this rank. Alam kong nagpakahirap ako para maging Rank 1, pero kulang eh. May kulang na sa amin. Niyakap nila akong lahat ng umiyak na naman ako. Hindi sa saya kung hindi dahil sa lungkot.
---
A day without Jessi in our group really something na hindi ko masabe. Wala kaming training na anim. Pwede kaming lumabas according to Big Boss. Pero lahat kami ay walang gana, tulala habang nakaupo na magkakasama.
"Should we go out to refresh our mind?" Tiara suggest.
"Should we girls?" Celestine said grabbing our attentions. "Jessi didn't want us to suffer like this. Tuloy ang laban natin kahit nauubos na tayo."
"Right. Continue our dreams. Kahit hindi na tayo kumpleto ang mahalaga ay patuloy tayo sa paglaban." Attia. "I know Jessi. May reason ang lahat kung bakit sya nag-volunteer na mag-eliminate. Let's just trust her the way she trust ours."
We spend time outside the MI Building. Refreshing our mind. May fans na agad kami sa labas ng building. Nagulat kaming lahat ng may mga poster kami, mga mukha namin, pangalan namin talos sinisigaw pa names naming lahat.
"EZRA!"
"CALYPSO!
"ATTIA!"
"TIARA"
"CELESTINE!"
"CATRONIA!"
"WE LOVE YOU, MELODY!"
"MELODY! MELODY! MELODY!"
Napangiti kaming lahat habang nakikinig sa kanila. Hindi ko mapigilan na mapaluha. After sana ng name ni Catronia 'Jessi' na sana ang kasunod. I signed. Whenever where you are, Jessi. I hope you are doing good. I hope for your success. Let's continue our dreams, together... promise me you will debut as an idol. Kahit soloist pa yan or group basta makapag debut ka din, Jessi. Because it's Jessi without the stage. She perfectly fit in the stage, watching her with a thousands of crowd. Enchanting her name. That's Jessi's dreams. That's our dreams. That's the Melody's dreams. To be a idol. To be a pop star. To debut.
Nag wave kaming lahat habang nakangiti kahit emosyonal. They love us, look Jessi. Marami na tayong fans, haha they genuine enchanting our name. Go Melody! Natawa ako habang kumakaway sa kanila. May ilang babae na nagabot pa ng gifts. May ilan na flowers tapos may pagkain pa na kasama. Kinuha yon ng nga bodyguards kumaway muli kami habang umaalis. Deretsyo kami sa Amusement park dito sa Seoul. It's sunday. Last day of November. 2 years ata ang training namin bago kami makapagdebut. Hindi ko lang alam kung hanggang kelan pa kami kumpleto na anim. Pabawas na ng pabawas ang Melody. Walang specific na sinabe si Big Boss kung ilang members ang Melody.
Dumeretsyo kami sa isang Ferris wheel, tatluhan lang pwede kaya naghiwalay kami nina Catronia, Tiara at Celestine. Sa isa kami sumakay nina Calypso at Attia. Nauna akong sumakay at sa pinagmasdan ang view. Umandar din ang Ferris wheel, nakatitig ako sa view habang unti-unting tumataas ang Ferris wheel. Tahimik kaming tatlo, enjoying the view. Kahit papaano naman nakakarefresh ng utak ang view ng Seoul.
After naming mag Ferris wheel ay dumeretsyo kami sa mga stole sa Amusement park para bumili ng snacks. Nakaupo kami sa mga benches habang kumakain, bumili ako ng ice cream tsaka doritos. Katabi ko si Calypso at pasimple na kumukuha ng Doritos ko. Ng napabaling ako sa kanya nag wacky poss sya at tipid na ngumiti. Tumango ako at inalok sya ng Doritos. Binili nya kasi at Nachos tapos corndog. Kararating lang nina Attia at Tiara bumili ng soda at chips ang dalwa.
Nagyaya sina Celestine na sumakay ng Vikings. Wala naman kami g nagawa na lahat kung hindi ang pumayag. Kahit papaano pilit kong maging masaya, pilit naming maging masaya. Nakakarelax ang view tapos sabay mo pa sa mga taong nagsisigawan dahil sa takot. Nakapila na sila kaya sumunod ako. Nasa likod ako ni Catronia habang nasa likod si Calypso at Attia. Nauuna sina Celestine at Tiara dahil gustong-gusto daw nilang sumakay ng Vikings. Ng nakasakay na kami ay tabi-tabi kami sa isang spot. Napakapit ako ng mahigpit sa railings ng Vikings. Dahan-dahan na tumataas yung Vikings. Impit na napapatili dahil sa gulat. Tapos bigla nalang mangugulat kaya napasigaw kaming lahat. Sobrang taas kaya yung buhok ko nililipad na. Pati yung bangs ko sis! Tagal kong inayos yon eh!
"Woooahh!"
"Ahhhhh!"
"Waaaaaaa!"
Napasigaw nalang kami habang pataas na ng pataas ang vikings. Natutuwa kaming lahat ng matapos. Halos manlambot yung tuhod namin dahil sa extreme.
"Anong next?" Natatawang tanong ni Tiara.
"Lintek ka!"
"Ayoko na!"
"Stop na sis, nasusuka ako-"
"Ang hina nyo naman," natatawang sagot ni Tiara. Pinaghahampas namin tuloy sya.
"Ulol!"
***