The heels of my shoes clicked against the linoleum floor as I held a folder full of papers close to my chest to be rest assured that they wouldn't crumple. The pencil skirt I chose to wear kept riding up my thighs despite the length that hugged my knees. I pulled the skirt down once more before turning the corner down another hall.
Today was my interview. I didn't know how anxious I would've been inside another school, but my throat hadn't closed up yet so that was a win for me. Truthfully, it was the last thing that I was worried about in hindsight; I should've been thinking about all the answers to the questions they were going to ask me, but instead all I could think about was Harry.
This morning when I woke up, he was still asleep. It wasn't like him, though I had to remind myself that he went to sleep yet, but even if he had gone to bed late he still found a way to wake up before eight.
After I had gotten ready for my interview, I made us breakfast despite him still being in his own slumber. I ate alone this morning with the lingering thoughts of what happened last night. I couldn't stop myself from staring at the same spot on the floor where I held him through his emotional breakdown.
I knew that recovery was a long road that someone had to go down by themselves, but I hated that I wasn't able to walk down that road with him. He was always going to have me to hold his hand and support him, but it just made me worried that I wasn't able to be around him more often to watch over him.
It just made me incredibly nervous.
Knocking myself from my thoughts, I stopped in front of the front office door. Doing a quick once over with my outfit and straightening my hair up, my fingers wrapped around the doorknob and pushed it open with a bright smile on my lips. I'd look dead if it wasn't for all of the concealer I used this morning.
There was a lady at the front desk, a name plate that spelled out Robin.
"Hi!" I chirped lightly as I approached the desk, "I'm here for an interview with Mayra...?"
Robin looked up from her desk, she was a redhead with bright red lipstick and unblended brown eyeshadow on her eyes. I didn't judge; she was older, though. Robin looked to be around my age, though much more tidy with her brown pleated dress suit and white pearls that dangled around her neck.
"Oh, are you Anna?" Robin smiled, she had a thick accent on her, but I couldn't place from where, "We've been waiting for you!"
"Hopefully not too long," I chuckled lowly, my fingers were picking my cuticles again out of nervous habit, "I tried to come early, but traffic–,"
"It's not a problem, the traffic in the area can be terrible around this time," Robin scolded, recalling the many times she had been stuck in it too, "I messaged Mayra, she should come get you soon. You can have a seat, if you'd like!"
"Thanks!" I offered a smile, twirling on my heel towards the row of seats.
Before I could even find a seat, my name was being called from the room to the left of me.
"Anna!" Mayra clapped her hands in delight, "Oh, I'm so happy to meet you! I'm Mayra, come on into my office!"
She was awfully chirpy, but I was a great actor in that department. I had been acting like I was happy for a long time now, this was easy for me. When I told her I was happy to meet her as well, I studied over her as we walked into her office.
Mayra had black hair pinned into a bun with a clip, she was wearing a gray pantsuit. She looked around my age, but I knew that to be too young for the position of a principal. Her office showed off her personality, very minimalist and neat. There were framed photos of her family, two girls and a loving wife that kissed her cheek in the photo. I smiled at the happiness that the photo brought into the room.
"Such a lovely family," I offered, pointing to the photo, "How old are they?"
"Oh, thank you!" Mayra gestured to the seat in front of her desk for me to sit down, to which I did, and she followed suit with a huff, "That's Addie and Lilly. Addie is seven and Lilly is five."
"Do they go to school here?" I tried to make myself comfortable in the seat, though my leg couldn't stop shaking and I was nervously fiddling with my fingers.
"Oh, no. I love my kids dearly, but I couldn't be around them all the time, honestly," She chuckled softly, "My wife homeschools them, it was our choice. It's just easier with the job that she has and the hours."
"That's lovely," I was somehow putting myself and Harry into that photo and it made my throat swell at the thought.
"So, Anna..."
Before Mayra could start talking, I quickly put the folder on the desk with a wavering smile.
"Here's my resume," I said, trying to refrain from touching my face out of habit, "This is from the last school I worked at. I was an English teacher. I also took the liberty to show you how I planned all my lessons too, with detailed diagrams of–,"
"Woah, woah," Mayra laughed lightly as she held up the thick folder, eyeing it carefully, "First of all, wow. I'm...speechless that you would prepare all of this–," very last minute at that, "But Anna, this is an Art class you'll be teaching. Truthfully, we are looking for someone with an open mind and colorful perspective that can positively impact the kids while they get their education here."
I swallowed hard, nodding as a nervous chuckle escaped me.
"Yeah, no," I scratched the back of my neck, then balled my fists into my lap, "I understand. I'm just–," I thought of my words carefully, scanning over Mayra's features before letting my shoulders slump, "To be transparent, I want this job. It's close to home, I haven't gotten to teach in a long time due to–urgent family matters..." I shook my head, "I had to take a long leave and I'm ready to start working and inspiring kids again."
Mayra nodded as she listened to me, she was skimming through the folder, stretching her face in pure impression as her lips pursed. Quietly, she closed the folder and placed her hands on top of the folder.
"What wage are you looking for?"
"Nine," I immediately said, "An hour."
"Nine?" Mayra chuckled, "We pay starting at fifteen."
"Fifteen?" My eyes widened. That was way more than my last position offered me.
"Yes," She nodded, "You'll have five classes, each of them thirty minutes, three breaks a day. The first one is twenty minutes, then your hour break, then fifteen minutes. Does that sound okay?"
"Yes." I breathed.
"Well," Mayra's eyes searched over me, "I think that I've come to a conclusion. I want to give you a shot, you seem very passionate about what you do and working with kids..." She cleared her throat, lowering her voice, "And all the other candidates didn't have the experience you do..."
My face pinched in excitement, "Really? Oh, thank you so much. I promise that you won't regret this at all."
"I don't think I will," Mayra stood up, I followed suit, "Are you able to start Friday? That will give you enough time to figure up a plan for the day."
"Friday?" That was tomorrow, "Yes, I could do that. That's not a problem. I already have a few things in mind!"
"Perfect!" Mayra clapped, "Just make sure to bring your credentials and we can get you started on payroll tomorrow morning."
"Thank you!" I squealed, putting a hand on my chest as I tried to conceal my excitement, "I look forward to seeing you tomorrow then."
When I said my goodbyes to Mayra and Robin on the way out, I nearly ran down the hallway in excitement as I rushed towards the front doors of the school. My folder was tucked underneath my arm as I pulled my phone out and excitedly, shakingly, texted everyone.
To Harry
I GOT THE JOB!
To Gracie
Guess who is a new Art teacher? Me! Aaaah!
I tucked the phone back into my pocket, pushing through the front doors and walked down the sidewalk of the exit. Harry told me that I'd have the job, truthfully I thought he was just bluffing about it. Maybe I did give myself too much grief about what I could truly accomplish.
My phone buzzed as I walked towards the car, I unlocked the car and put my things into the passenger seat as I crawled into the car and listened to the engine roar as I turned the key in the ignition.
From Gracie
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!
From Harry
I knew you were gonna get it, puppy. Love you. X
P.S thank you for breakfast. It was delicious.
My heart leapt.
To Harry
I'm on my way home. Love you.
Before I could put my phone down, Harry sent another text.
From Harry
I'm with mum.
To Harry
Okay. I'll come there instead. See u soon.
I placed my phone on the middle console after turning some music on. My body was vibrating from getting a new job, but as I pulled out of the lot and drove towards the hospital, reality once again sank in.
I was trying to hold onto this feeling of happiness, but the guilt of being happy while Harry was going through something so deeply emotional, was bearing down on me.
I turned the volume up as Summertime Sadness by Lana del Ray played through the speakers. I hummed to myself, mumbling the words under my breath while driving into the city towards the hospital.
Oh my god,
I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzlin' like a snare,
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere,
Nothin' scares me anymore.
My hands drummed against the wheel, bobbing my head to the drums that vibrated my car. As I was about to sing out to the last chorus of the song, the music suddenly cut off and my phone started to vibrate on the middle console.
I cleared my throat, sinking into my seat as I grabbed the phone and clicked it open without a glance. I figured that it was Harry who was calling me.
"Hello?"
"You alright, little Angel?"
"Hi, Niall," I chuckled softly, pulling the phone from my ear to put on speaker and set it down onto my thigh, "They gave me the job at the school, so I feel pretty fuckin' good, actually."
"Hell yeah!" Niall shouted excitedly through the phone, "Proud of you. Where you headin' to now?"
"Umm..." I drew out in an elongated hum, "I'm on the way to the hospital. Are you there too, or–?"
"Yeah, 'bout to leave though," Niall said matter of fact, "Harry looks like hell, did he come home last night?"
"Yeah," I breathed, almost down to a whisper as I stared down the road.
"Yeah?"
"Yes." I said a little bit louder, chewing on the inside of my cheek.
I stayed quiet, there was a bit of rustling on Niall's end, then it went quiet for a few seconds.
"Not good, is it?" Niall's voice lowered into the phone.
"Well, his mom is..." I swallowed the word in my throat, "So, you know. Not really."
"How bad is it?"
I teetered on the truth. Due to Harry's breakdown last night, part of me wanted to keep it to myself, but Niall was his best friend. From what I knew, Niall had tried to help Harry through his addiction when he wasn't sober. I was stuck at a crossroads.
But Harry shouldn't be going through this alone. It was the last thing that he needed; if anything, he needed all the support he could get right now. Even if it means intervention, I just hoped that it didn't get to that point.
I was telling myself it wouldn't get to that point.
"He, um..." I gripped the wheel as I turned onto the next road, "I mean, I found him staring at a bottle of Tequila last night, if I'm honest. It was a long night."
"Fuckin' hell," Niall sighed heavily through the phone, "Did he relapse?"
"No," I could see the hospital in view, "Not yet anyway. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude that last night was just a moment of weakness."
"Right," Niall sounded sad, a beat of silence, "I want you to tell me if anything happens, alright? If anyone can knock some sense into Harry, it's me. He's my best mate, I need to keep him sober."
"I will," I pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, quickly finding the first parking spot I could and pulled into it, "Hey, Niall," I picked the phone up, putting the phone to my ear, "Please don't tell Harry I told you. He was really vulnerable last night and I just–I don't know. I don't want him to feel..." I trailed off, sighing, "Just please don't tell him I said anything."
"Yeah, I get it," Niall said, agreeing to keep my secret, "I know how he can get after his episodes. If he relapses though, that's fair game–," There was more rustling over the phone before he said, "Hey, I got to go. I have to meet up with Rina. She's coming over later."
"Rina–?"
"Yeah, text me if anything happens. Stay safe, doll face."
Before I could part my lips to say my goodbyes, he hung the phone up. I blinked, pulling the phone from my ear as I looked down at the black screen. Rina? I hadn't seen her since the night she ran off in the restaurant. That was an odd fucking night. I wondered how she was doing.
I skimmed through my messages, sinking down into my seat. I found our texts which consisted of one address that she had sent me and that was the night that we watched them race down the old highway. I chewed on my lip, staring off out the window. It wouldn't hurt to message her, but I wondered if she felt a little weird about the last time I had seen her.
To Rina
Hey, so that was weird–
Delete.
Hey, how are you?
Delete.
I sighed, sending a single 'hey' and leaving it at that. I threw my phone into my purse, then put the strap around my shoulder as I got out of the car with my keys wrapped around my fingers.
At the end of the day, I met Rina at a shooting range, one that seemed pretty sketchy to begin with. She seemed to know the man that ran the place too, it was quite odd. I still get shivers down my spine when I think about the way that man looked at me. But, really, she could be just an odd person. I didn't know her as well as Niall did.
I just slightly worried a bit about Niall because I knew he had a big heart and he was the kind to fall easily. Knowing that his ex-girlfriend died from a car crash, I couldn't imagine that he took this lightly, but I couldn't control him. I just hoped he knew what he was doing and that he was happy whilst doing it.
When I entered the hospital, I walked down the corridor and waited for the elevator to come once I pressed the button. I was anxiously waiting for it to come, tapping my foot lightly on the floor as it echoed through the quiet hallway.
You're a nosy girl, aren't you?
I huffed. What were they up to? It was obvious that there was something being hidden from me. I knew that I tended to ask many questions, but I thought it was in my right to know if I'm a part of...whatever this is.
Especially with Harry being my partner.
The elevator doors opened with a soft ring to announce its arrival. I stepped into the elevator and pressed nine and waited for the doors to shut. I tapped my foot again. I always felt awkward waiting for the doors to close, and I secretly hoped that nobody else would enter it with me.
However, I spoke too soon.
"Hold it! Hold the elevator!"
A hand slid through the doors right as it was about to close, causing me to jump with a hand on my chest. It went quiet, even my gasp had no sound, and when the doors opened the light brown haired covered in tattoos had a lopsided smile on his face as he took a step into the elevator.
"Well, hello, Anna! You alright?"
"Pete! Jesus fuck, dude. You scared me." I cackled softly, letting my head lean against the cool wall
"Sorry, was outside smoking. You see Niall?"
The doors closed, it was just us in the elevator and I watched as the numbers changed as we went up.
"No, but I talked to him on the phone a bit ago." I said.
"Ah, he's out chasing Rina," Pete waved his hand with a smile, "Pussy whipped, I tell ya."
I only breathed a chuckle. Pete gave me a once over, crossing his arms over his chest as if he was upset I was short with him.
"And what's the matter?"
"Nothing," I inhaled, forcing another small smile, "I got the job. Thanks for the recommendation."
"I knew they'd hire you," Pete scoffed, "A bright young lady like you? Why not?" He paused, the doors opened and I walked out without another word. Pete followed from behind me, "You seem down."
"Hospitals aren't really a happy place." I retorted.
"Yeah, well..." Pete cleared his throat, "I've been here since five."
"This morning?" I looked back in confusion.
"Someone's got to watch Jackie."
"Oh."
That meant she was alone for at least three hours this morning after Harry left.
"Think Harry is going to stay with her tonight," Pete caught up to me, sticking by my side as he looked towards me, "That's what he said anyway."
"I don't blame him." I sighed.
I hated this.
I could see Jackie's room at the end of the hallway, my steps were quickening, only for Pete to grab my arm and stop me in my tracks and almost making me tip over from the sudden jerk back.
Looking up at him in curiosity, Pete had a sullen look on his face.
"She's not well, Jackie," He dropped his hand by his side, "I don't know what happened. I stayed with her for a whole day, then Niall stopped by for a bit—," His eyes searched the busy nurses that bussled through the hallways, "Even the doctors don't know what happened, Anna."
"She's not well." I repeated back to him, trying to save face.
"She wasn't before, but now she's ill. Deathly ill," Pete shifted his weight on his feet, chewing on his lip as he got lost deep in thought. He parted his lips, a sudden thought coming to him, "I'm not one to run my mouth, but I feel like someone—,"
A nurse walked by us, I watched as the nameless woman entered a random room. Pete took my arm, pulling me towards the wall. I scrunched my brows at him, he leaned down and said quietly into my ear.
"Someone inside the hospital did something."
The words made my chest tighten.
"What? How do you know?" I whispered back to him.
"I don't," Pete mumbled, a stern look of worry on his face, "I don't have proof, but it makes sense, does it not?"
I parted my lips to say something, only for my features to soften at the realization. Pete was opening up to me. For a moment, it felt like my body was vibrating and I couldn't help but lift my lips into a half smile, then easily erased the pleased look from my face.
He could give me the information I wanted.
I just wondered why he was telling me all of this? Or, I supposed, conspiring with me.
"You know what?" I tapped my finger against my chin, "I think you may be onto something, Pete."
"That's what I tried telling Ajax, but he—," Pete rolled his eyes, waving a hand in the air, "Whatever. Nobody ever listens to me."
"I'll listen!" I said almost too quickly with too much force, my toes balancing on their pads with a quick tiptoe, "I mean, you know. You're my friend."
Pete smiled with his jaw hung, "Yeah, that's right," He scanned the area once more, "Hey, do you wanna get dinner tonight? Gracie is having dinner with her parents and Niall's busy tonight."
That's why he was confiding in me.
That made more sense.
"Sit in?" I pointed at him as I backed away towards Jackie's room, "My treat?"
"Sounds alright," Pete winked, "I'm gonna get a drink from the vending machine, want anything?"
"I'm alright!" I waved, "I'm gonna check on Harry. I'll see you in a minute, yeah?"
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."
I nodded in acknowledgement, pinching my face in excitement as I stalked towards the room. I definitely wasn't using Pete for information, that would be wrong. I'm just simply lending a ear, and a very big nose that wants to know everything he has to tell me.
I was already sifting through questions in my head, questions that had been locked away in a folder for a long time.
I rubbed my face, wiping the smitten look off as I knocked on the door and entered the familiar room. The curtain was still drawn, when I pulled it back to enter the small space, Harry was sitting by his mom with one hand on hers and his head tilted back against the chair in a deep sleep.
I checked the time, it was nearing two pm.
Not wanting to wake him up, I sat on the firm couch in the room and waited for Pete to come back and take place beside me. The machines worked overtime on Jackie, light flutters of beeping and what seemed to be a ventilator that was installed on her. It was new, she wasn't using one last night. I had wondered what happened from then till now.
A louder beep echoed through the room making Harry's head jolt upwards in alarm. He mumbled some curses under his eyes, rubbing his eyes deeply; they were dark and tired.
"Hi, baby." I whispered softly.
Harry turned his sleepy eyes to gaze, a small smile rising upwards.
"Hey," He pulled his hand from his mom's, using his two palms to push myself off his chair to drag his feet over to me, "How was the interview? I know you got the job, but..." Harry sat beside me, rubbing his eyes tiredly, "Are the people nice?"
"Very nice," I chuckled quietly, leaning my head against his shoulder as I gazed towards Jackie, "How is she?"
"I've been waiting on the doctor all morning," Harry grumbled softly, "Need some more coffee. Maybe even an energy drink."
"Go get one, I'll wait here with her."
Harry went silent, staring ahead at his mom with a frown. I knew he didn't want to leave her, even if someone was sitting with her; even if that someone is me. He was very protective over her.
"I promise I won't let anything happen to her. If something happens, I'll call you." I told him softly, reassuring him.
"Okay," He mumbled quietly, pushing himself from the sofa once more, "Want anything?"
"I'm okay." I offered a smile, patting my hands on my knees anxiously.
When I was left alone in the room, I steadily switched my gaze between Jackie and the door. Pete said he was going to come back to the room after he got a drink, but it had been some time and I hadn't seen him since. I needed to think of some ways that I could bring up the questions that had been avoided by Ajax without coming off as suspicious.
Sorting through different scenarios in my head, a knock on the door drew me back to reality; I looked over to Doctor Ramos who was entering the room with his clipboard in hand and a sincere smile.
"Did Mr. Styles step out?" Ramos studied the room with wandering eyes.
"Yes," I cleared my throat, standing to my feet, "He should be back in a couple minutes. Is everything okay?"
His pen tapped against the clipboard, shifting his weight on his feet, "Well, I just wanted to speak to him about the tests that we ran on Jackie."
"Okay," I nodded, "You can tell me, I could relay the message. Is it bad?"
"It's not particularly good news–,"
"What's going on?"
Neither I or Ramos had spoken, our heads turned to see Harry standing from behind the doctor with a cup of coffee in his hands. Looking at Ramos, I nodded towards him to speak. Doctor Ramos watched as Harry walked towards him to stand in front of him. The cup Harry held was steaming with hot coffee. I felt nervous, leaning over to carefully take the cup from his hands and busy myself with putting it on the side table next to the couch.
"I was just telling–," Ramos looked at me to catch my name.
"Anna." I spoke softly.
"--Ah, Anna," He looked down at his clipboard to avoid the burning stare from Harry, "Your mom's results came back."
"And? Did you find anything?" Harry peeked over as if he all of a sudden knew how to read a chart.
"From her chart and past abuse with drugs, we wanted to cover all possibilities," He started, pursing his lips to the side, "We took a urine sample, we didn't find anything. We did a CT scan, we didn't find that her brain activity was worse than it already was. However..." Ramos flipped some pages, pointing towards a specific spot, "We took a hair follicle. It traces any drugs that had been taken in the last three months, but we were able to find something that had been put in her system."
"What?" Harry scolded with a look of disbelief, "What are you talking about? My friends were here the entire time, she had no other visitors since I got here. That's impossible."
"The timeline is vague, but from the test we ran, it was in the last week. The line that showed on the test was very strong," He said, letting his arms fall by his side, "We understand she was admitted due to an episode, but later that night she did have a small stroke, then the next day we found her condition worsening."
"You already said that!" Harry scolded once more through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared as he looked down at the clipboard, "What did you find in her system? Was it–drugs?"
"I'm repeating myself because I want you to understand that she became severely sick over night," Ramos said with a sympathetic look, shuffling on his feet as he looked between me and Harry, "We found a copious amount of Ketamine in her system," His voice lowered, pressing his lips together, "She's in a drug induced coma. We aren't sure how this happened as she was coherent when she was admitted."
Harry's jaw clenched tightly, staring daggers at Ramos. My lips parted, switching my gaze between him and Ramos before moving towards him to usher him to sit down. He only brushed me off him and took a step closer to the doctor.
"I want the security tapes. This is impossible." Harry spat.
"Security tapes–?"
"I know you have the fucking security tapes, doc. You will show me every fucking angle of the video from the camera that points at my mom's room," Hary was towering over the doctor, even the strong hold I had on his arm couldn't stop him from intimidating him, "Now."
"Sir, we have a book of all the visitors that come to visit. I can show you–,"
"The tapes!" Harry finally snapped, jerking his arm out of my hold as he slapped his hand against the wall with a loud thud, "The fucking tapes! Now!"
My mouth agape, Ramos' eyes switched between me and Harry with his lips parted, I could see the utter fear in his eyes. Ramos only nodded, muttering something to please Harry's request before he exited the room quickly.
I placed my hand on my forehead, it was hot and I felt uncomfortable. How could this be? How could Harry act this way? I knew he was grieving, but it didn't give him the right to act like this to a doctor. He was just trying to do his job. I sank into the couch once more, rubbing over my face in stress.
"Ketamine..." Harry scoffed as he anxiously paced the room, his fingers pinching his bottom lip, "Fucking ketamine?! A load of fucking bullshit. I know he's fucking lying, it's fucking impossible."
"I heard him..." I blew out, trying to steady my breath as I watched Harry pace back and forth.
We were both trying to make sense of this.
"Hey, guys," Pete entered the room with a bag of chips and a soda in hand. Pete's brows scrunched when he saw Harry pacing the room, "What's going on?"
Harry stopped in his tracks, looking up at Pete with an angered look. I swore his face was redder than a tomato; if all the anger in the most heinous people had found a home, it was inside Harry. Ever since he had shot the policeman, I was truthfully terrified of what Harry could do; but this was his mom we were talking about.
The terror was a thousand times worse.
"Ketamine?" Harry questioned angrily with his fists balled up.
"Oh? No, thanks, mate. That stuff fucks me up–," Pete said non-chalantley.
"No, you fucking idiot!" Harry's voice roared, taking long strides towards Pete, "They found it in her system! How? Fucking how?!"
"In Jackie's–..." Pete trailed off, his eyes widened as he glanced towards Jackie in the bed, "Mate, I swear I don't know. She was never alone, we never left the room unless the nurse told us to leave."
"Why would the nurse tell you to leave the room?" Harry muttered through gritted teeth.
"I don't fuckin' know, they had to switch out some bags and, like, to be honest mate, I think they had to undress her a couple times and check the things on her chest–," Pete spitballed nervously, gesturing his hands as he spoke.
Harry's face fell, a lump in his throat bobbing as he swallowed and took a step away from Pete. This wasn't the Harry that I knew. Whenever he got angry, it was violent. It was like he didn't know how to just be angry. He had to yell, he had to smash things, he had to hurt people; because he was hurting a thousand times worse and he wanted people to know how terribly hard he felt it.
His palm ran over his face, cupping his mouth as his gaze stayed on the floor. Pete looked at me, unsure of what to say or how to feel. I felt the same.
"We can just look at the tapes..." I gestured quietly, "Maybe that would give us an idea."
"I'll talk to the nurses, but H, when I was here nobody came in to see her other than the nurses." Pete tried to offer some sort of peace of mind.
"Maybe the test was read wrong!" I offered, gesturing towards the machines, "You never know, sometimes the machines read wrong, you know?"
"I'm staying here," Harry whispered, ignoring all of our suggestions and offers of soothing his mind, "I'm staying here until she gets out."
Pete gave me a knowing side eye, "But she's—,"
"She's not that sick," Harry denied with a wave of his hand, "She's in a coma, but she's gonna come back from it. I fucking know it."
He was in a state of denial. It was almost as if he was bouncing through the three stages of grief and completely ignoring the other steps. Sadness, anger, denial. Repeat.
I closed my eyes.
"Are you going to come home later then...?" I asked timidly.
"No," Harry chewed on his lip, "I can't just leave her here, Anna. I need to be with her. She doesn't have anyone else. I'm—I'm all she has."
I didn't like the feeling in my chest. I was trying to reassure Harry, but I couldn't even tell myself that something weird wasn't happening. Someone drugged Jackie, I knew it in the pit of my stomach and it only made me realize that they were more present than I thought they were.
What if something bad happened to me while I was alone? I couldn't stand the thought. What if—.
Panic rose in my chest, I stood to my feet as I looked at Pete, "Can you leave the room for a second so me and Harry can talk?"
"Sure," He nodded, "I'll be out in the waiting area then."
Pete left the room, shutting the door with a click. With my heart pounding in my chest and shallow breaths, I felt my skin start to burn with the all too familiar feeling of a panic attack. I took deep breaths.
"Harry, please don't leave me at the house," I whispered softly, trying to stop my voice from shaking, "I need you home. This is really scaring me."
Harry looked towards me with a frown, shaking his head, "Baby, you have no reason to be afraid. It's okay."
"Is it?" I started to feel frustrated, because while Harry knew deep down that his mom had days to live, he was willing to put me in a position where I could easily be a risk for the worst, "What if it's the church? What if Angela is back?!" I finally spat out in terror.
We hadn't spoken on that subject in months. It was behind us, or so we had thought. We promised each other that we wouldn't bring them up again. We were to move forward and not look back at the traumatic events that killed our friends and almost killed us.
"Don't say that." Harry breathed with a tight look.
"Who else would it be, Harry?" I gulped thickly, my mouth was going dry and the panic was getting worse; my throat was starting to constrict with each breath, "Who else has an innocent woman on their shit list?! It doesn't make any fucking sense and I—I don't want to be alone. You can't just leave me at the house alone."
"Anna, my angel," Harry wrapped me into his arms, hugging me tightly as he kissed the top of my head, "I can assure you that They are not the case. They are far from it. I told you that they fled, they've been gone," He mumbled into my hair, "I'm not going to leave you alone. I'll have the boys stay with you, how does that sound? Hm?"
I frowned. I still didn't like the idea. I knew there was no use fighting it, anyway. It would've just caused more trouble than it was worth. I nodded, hanging my head as I sighed.
"Okay." I mumbled.
Harry took my chin and lifted my head, "Mum will be okay in no time. I'll be home soon."
"Okay..." I whispered, batting my eyes to combat the tears, "I'm—I'm starting my new job tomorrow so, I guess I need to head home and get prepared for that."
"And you'll have that to look forward to, baby," Harry smiled in reassurance, "Don't worry. Okay?"
I gave him a peck on the lips, "Okay," I pulled from his arms, "I should go home, then. You'll text me, right?"
"Mhm, of course." Harry reassured.
"Okay," I backed up as I nodded, "I'll see you later, then..."
LATER THAT NIGHT.
I sat at a small table in a quiet restaurant, picking at my nails as I awaited Pete to arrive for dinner. It was a casual dinner, I had invited Gracie for cushion, and the fact I hadn't seen her since I got back from Paris; but she couldn't get out of the plans with her parents.
I missed her.
Besides the fact of lingering on missing Gracie, I was starting to think that Pete had stood me up on our friendly dinner plans. I showed up at eight, it was half past and I already drank two glasses of water.
I pulled my phone out to text him, just as Pete entered my peripheral view out of the corner of my eye. Relief washed over me, laying my phone on the table with a smile as he waltzed towards me.
"Hey, sorry," Pete sighed, "Traffic was hectic."
"I was starting to think you stood me up," I chuckled quietly, giving him a once over, "Do you want a drink?"
"Alcoholic?" His head tilted.
"Maybe," I shrugged, "Why not? I wanted to celebrate getting a new job."
Pete smiled, "I'll have a drink with you, but just one."
"Sounds alright to me."
The waitress came and took our order, to which we ordered two glasses of red wine and our dinner. I had informed Pete about the lesson that I outlined for tomorrow. It was simple.
Pets.
"Pets?"
"Yeah, or like, draw any animal you would want as a pet," I nodded through a tipsy smile. I had barely eaten today so the wine worked itself through me well. "I thought it was a cute idea."
"What grade are you teaching for Art classes?" Pete said behind his glass of wine.
"A mixture, but mainly fourth." I nodded.
"Good luck." Pete chuckled sympathetically.
"Thanks, I'm..." I swirled the wine around in my glass, "I'm really nervous. I haven't stepped into a school since um..."
Pete frowned, sympathetically nodding, "You don't have to say it, I know," He paused, looking into his drink before flicking his gaze towards me, "What happened to you was really fucked up. Are—are you okay?"
My eyes widened at the question. Nobody had asked me if I had been okay for a long time. Sure, Harry would ask how my day had been, but never asked if I was okay. It made my heart clench as I chewed on the inside of my cheek.
"I'm okay," I shrugged, "I'm, um...I started some medication because of my panic attacks and, um, really vivid nightmares," I couldn't find myself to look at him, I hadn't really talked about this with anyone else but my therapist and Harry, "But I think I'm doing better than I was. I'm working through it."
"I didn't know that," Pete breathed, "I'm glad you're doing better."
"Thanks." I nodded.
Silence fell over us when the waitress brought us our food. We ate in silence for the most part other than commenting on how good the food was or making small talk about the people around us.
I was trying to find a good way to bring up what we had talked about earlier, but I was afraid it may be too forward. The earlier questions that I had asked myself mentally were thrown out the window when my nerves were at a high and Pete hadn't brought up anything about it yet.
I wondered if he knew anything about Them, or if he knew what happened when they had found Jackie in the church. It just didn't make sense to me that they saved her without anything happening. It was hard to believe that no blood was shed over it either.
"It's really sad what's happening to Jackie," I murmured through the last bite of my food, "A drug induced coma? I mean, just a couple days ago she was fine..."
Pete wiped his mouth with a napkin, brows furrowed tightly, "It is odd, isn't it? I feel terrible for H."
I swallowed the rest of my food down with the remaining wine in my glass, an exasperated sigh following suit as I clasped my hands together.
"Do you think it's...?" I raised my brows in silent insinuation.
Pete's eyes widened only slightly.
"I hardly believe that would be the case," He shook his head, busying his hands by folding his napkin up, "They've been gone for a while."
"That's what they want us to think, isn't it?" I whispered, staring darkly into Pete's eyes with meaning, "Harry found Jackie and they haven't tried to get her back. Isn't that weird?"
He stared back at me, but there was a slight change in behavior as well as his posture. He continued to fold his napkin in silence, taking in the statement that I had said. Pete parted his lips and said;
"I think you're thinking too much into it." Pete whispered back.
I scoffed, "Am I? Or are you just hiding something just like Ajax is?" I threw my napkin from my lap onto the plate with distaste, giving him a look, "I've been going to that church all my life, Pete. You don't just up and leave without warning. I have seen what Angela is capable of building and I'm tired of everyone brushing me off!"
Pete was dumbfounded by my outburst, but it was needed. I didn't fucking understand why everyone was putting me in the dark. I was at my breaking point.
"Anna, I didn't mean too—,"
"Tell me how you found Jackie," I ordered with a stern tone, "I know it was on the day of Nathan's funeral and I know they were having a service for him that day. What. happened. at. the. church?"
Pete swallowed, stopping his motions on the crumpled napkin. His lips were dry and not a thought behind those eyes. I felt proud, for a moment, if not powerful for demanding such a thing and leaving someone speechless.
"Angela handed Jackie over," Pete whispered under his breath, shaking his head incomprehensibly, "I—I don't know why."
I blinked, "What?"
"I swear I'm telling you the truth, Anna," Pete swallowed, sipping down the rest of his wine nervously before placing the empty glass down, "I don't know why. I don't know what happened after that. All I know is that Angela handed her over and we took her to the hospital. End of story."
My eyes fell down to the white cloth on the table, trying to comprehend or make sense of it all. Every time I opened my mouth to say something, I only closed it and furrowed my brows tighter in confusion.
It didn't make sense.
I didn't understand how she could've easily handed Jackie over without some sort of agreement. Negotiation. Something of the sort.
"What were the circumstances?" I whispered.
"There were none."
"No negotiation? No swap?" I looked up at Pete dumbfounded.
"No, she just—," Pete scratched his neck, scrunching his face, "She just gave her to us."
I nodded slowly as I grabbed my bag from under my feet and fished out some euros to pay for my meal. Placing the money on the table, I scooted my chair back and stood up.
"This was a lovely dinner," I offered a wavering smile as I pushed my chair in, "Thank you. It was very...eye opening."
"I hope I didn't upset you." Pete stood to his feet with a frown etched across his lips.
"Not at all," I shook my head, stopping my hands from shaking by clutching the strap of my bag tighter, "Goodnight, Pete."
Without another word, I rushed out of the restaurant, pushing past any bystander that was in my way. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I clicked the phone open and scrolled through my contact list. I didn't know who to call, but it felt like I needed to tell someone.
As I walked towards my car, chewing on my lip, I stared at the same names over and over again. Who was I supposed to call? Who could I tell? Nobody else would've gotten it. They wouldn't understand. It was frustrating to be in a situation that was so secret, yet not so secret. It felt so public, yet nobody ever talked about it.
I sighed, unlocking my car door and climbing into my seat. I threw my phone onto the console and let my head drop down onto the steering wheel. This was too much for my brain to comprehend.
Why didn't Harry tell me that he saw Angela before she disappeared? Truthfully speaking, I wanted to know what the hell was going on too. I mean, I know I've been wishy washy about the whole see no evil, speak no evil, but that was important information at the least.
This was why I always felt like he was hiding something from me. Even if it felt like a small thing to him, I don't think he realized what he did by taking Jackie from Angela. In her mind, Harry probably signed some sort of imaginary contract in Angela's fucked up head.
Angela did something for him, so now Harry needs to do something for her.
Tit for tat.
"Ugh! This is so—!" I flung my head back against the headrest of the seat with my eyes pinched closed.
Before I could grumble to myself more, my phone buzzed on the console, making the plastic molding sound loudly. I groaned, grabbing my phone as I looked down at the notification.
RINA
hey... sorry for going MIA... hang soon? i can explain everything.
Rina?
I had forgotten that I texted her earlier.
To RINA
No problem, we can plan something soon. This weekend, maybe? I'll let you know. Hope everything is okay... xx
Maybe seeing Rina again could take my mind off things. An explanation about why she was acting so weird would've cured the curiosity I had of her too.
I stared at the sent text, chewing on the inside of my cheek before clicking the phone off and starting the car up. I backed out of the parking spot with hands gripping the wheel tightly.
I didn't know what those boys were hiding from me, but I was going to find out.
Even if it kills me.
———————————
A/N
THANK YOU FOR 300k!!! AH!!
I cant believe there's so many of you. Thanks for sticking it out for so long. We are in the homestretch and the book should be done by the end of the year.
I'm so grateful for all of you.
Love you all so much. x