TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEATH, VAGUE MENTION OF A PANIC ATTACK
He stared.
Mindlessly, at what was infront of him, he seemed quite focused, but he didn't register any of the things infront of him at all.
The only things he could pay attention to was the hiccups he was having, not caused by a funny joke Tony made, or by a strange sentence spoken by his Aunt May.
His suit was drenched, in his own tears, when he looks in the mirror, he doesn't even recognize his own face.
The voices in his head just wouldn't leave him be, 'they died, it was all your fault, they all forgot about you and leaving their memory was the best thing you could've done for them.'
He should save his tears, but how could he? When he had so many things to cry about?
He should sleep, but how could he? When he had the whole world and the stars in his head?
How should he keep these thoughts away?
There isn't any hope anymore, and if he had a choice, he would paint the sky red, his favorite color, so the stars would reflect red anger back at him, make him shed tears and make him die, because that's what he wanted.
He's fought giant lizards went to space for war, had a building fall on him and almost got crushed by it, but he still doesn't have the guts to jump off of this roof, he makes an excuse--"I have people to protect,"--but even he now knows, that it's only an excuse, an excuse to give him purpose, a purpose that he doesn't have, nobody needs him, they've all forgotten him, anyway.
His shoulders wouldn't stop shaking and he couldn't breathe, he wants to dig himself a hole six feet deep and never come out of it. He wants to suffocate.
There's no point for him anymore, why is he even here, I want it all to stay away, no one can stay, I can't let anyone stay.
stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay awaystay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away stay away.
Please don't leave me alone.
[Inspired by: Black Out Days]