Jeonghan sat on the floor of the practice room.
He looked around the room at the members and smiled. He had woken up that morning after his conversation with Joshua the day before and felt good for the first time in a while.
Although he had reached the decision reluctantly, moving on felt like the right thing to do. It was time for him to finally stop waiting for something to change, or for Daena to answer one of his calls.
He had resigned himself to the fact she wasn't coming back.
Now with a change of mindset he could look back on their time together and enjoy the memories rather than have every single one feel like a stab to the heart.
Of course he was still sad about the way things had ended. That hadnt changed.
S Coups walked over and sat on the ground beside him.
"You seem in a good mood today" he announced.
Jeonghan smiled at him. "Do I?"
"Yeah, you didn't even snap at DK when he bumped into you during rehearsal earlier" S Coups continued.
"It wasn't his fault" Jeonghan explained with a shrug.
"But you got mad at Mingyu when he did the same thing last week?" S Coups questioned.
"Mmm... maybe I'm just learning to take responsibility for my own actions" Jeonghan replied.
When he said this he was thinking about the last time he saw Daena and walked away from her. He finally had come to accept that he had blown his last chance to try and fix things between them.
S Coups nodded. "You seem like yourself again" he reached over and patted Jeonghan on the back as he said this.
"How long have I not seemed myself?" Jeonghan asked. The suggestion he had been different bothered him.
S Coups was about to answer when they were interuppted by a loud shout from across the room.
"No way!" yelled Hoshi.
Jeonghan watched as Hoshi bounced up and down with excitement while talking to Joshua.
"What do you think that's about?" Jeonghan asked.
"Honestly... with Hoshi it could be anything. He's very easily excited" S Coups said with a shrug.
Jeonghan continued to eye Joshua and Hoshi suspiciously.
He had already noticed that Joshua seemed especially happy today. Every time he looked at Joshua during practice he had found Joshua grinning back at him.
As he watched the pair he realised S Coups had been speaking to him but he hadn't really acknowledged what he was saying. That was until he said a word that snapped Jeonghan's attention back to him.
"What did you say?" Jeonghan asked, his tone slightly aggressive.
S Coups leaned back away from him slightly. "I said the only time those two ever look this happy is usually when Daena is involved"
Jeonghan narrowed his eyes at him. "I doubt it, I know she hasn't spoken to any of them since we saw her in America" he tried to sound uninterested as he said this.
S Coups saw right through him though. "Don't act like you don't care. You might have fooled them into thinking you are getting over it but I know better" S Coups leaned closer as he said this so no one would overhear.
"No. You don't. I am getting over it" Jeonghan said, his tone harsh. "Or a least I'm trying to" he said softer this time.
S Coups looked sad. "I'm sorry you got hurt. I did try to warn you" he replied.
"Thanks" Jeonghan said coldly.
He turned his attention back to Joshua and Hoshi.
He sensed S Coups get up and walk away.
"Hey!" Jeonghan yelled across the room.
Joshua and Hoshi both turned to face him. He beckoned them over.
"Come here" he called.
The two exchanged a strange look and then crossed the room stopping in front of Jeonghan.
Jeonghan stood. "What were you yelling about?" He asked Hoshi.
"Nothing hyung" Hoshi replied quickly. Jeonghan couldn't help but think his reply was too quick.
"Didn't seem like nothing" he pressed.
"I was just telling Hoshi about a cover I'm thinking of recording" Joshua said, answering for Hoshi.
Jeonghan looked back and forth between them. "Sure" he said sarcastically.
"He was. I just didn't think it was important or that you would be interested. Shua was asking me for help with the choreography" Hoshi explained nodding profusely.
"Oh. What song?" Jeonghan said.
He watched as both Joshua and Hoshi scrambled and then both blurted out a different song.
Jeonghan crossed his arms in triumph. He knew he had just caught them in a lie.
Hoshi looked down at the ground. Jeonghan started to get suspicious that S Coups was right.
"Is it about Daena?" He asked cautiously.
Joshua and Hoshi made brief eye contact.
"Maybe" Joshua said.
"Are you going to tell me?" Jeonghan asked.
"Why? I thought you were moving on" Joshua snapped suddenly.
Jeonghan flinched.
"Fine. Whatever. Keep your secrets" he replied before crossing the room to grab his bag.
He could hear them both muttering behind him.
Jeonghan rolled his eyes and headed for the door.
He heard hurried footsteps behind him and could tell someone was trying to catch up to him.
"Jeonghan" Joshua called.
Jeonghan opened the door and continued walking.
"Hey" Joshua said, placing a hand on Jeonghan's shoulder to stop him.
Jeonghan sighed. "Yes?" He asked.
"Are you headed home?" Joshua asked.
"Probably" Jeonghan replied. Joshua was starting to get on his nerves.
"Straight home?" Joshua asked.
"What's with all the questions?" Jeonghan replied.
"I just need to know. Are you going straight home?" Joshua pressed.
"Why does it matter?" Jeonghan snapped.
"Umm.. I... I was gonna offer you a ride" Joshua mumbled.
"Sure, fine. I'll ride with you back to the dorm" Jeonghan answered.
The pair walked out to the entrance in silence.
As they neared the doors Jeonghan noticed the girl at reception gesturing for him to come over.
"Hang on a sec" he said to Joshua as he headed over to the desk.
"Can I help you?" He asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry to bother you Mr Yoon. I just hadn't seen Daena around for a while and I noticed her pass had been cancelled. I wondered if you knew anything?" the girl asked.
Jeonghan looked at the girl and remembered she had been friendly with Daena. Daena had mentioned her a few times. He tried desperately to remember her name.
"Minji is it?" He asked.
The girl nodded.
"Daena won't be back" He replied simply.
"Oh.. Did she leave?" Minji asked.
Jeonghan nodded in response and turned to leave but the girl grabbed his hand.
"Does this mean you are available?" She asked looking up at him.
Jeonghan frowned as the girl fluttered her lashes at him and blushed.
He had thought she was a friend of Daena's, was she really asking if he was now single.
Jeonghan pulled his arm away in digust.
"Not for you" he snapped before walking back to Joshua.
"What was that about?" Joshua asked, sliding his phone into his pocket.
Jeonghan was starting to get really annoyed with all the questions today.
"What? I told you I'm moving on" he replied angrily.
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished he could take them back. He didn't want Joshua thinking he was just flirting with some random girl.
"I don't know why I said that" Jeonghan blurted out.
Joshua blinked at him. "What do you mean?"
"I don't know why I acted like I was moving on with that girl" he said gesturing over his shoulder at the reception desk.
"I'm not sure I'm ready to go that far yet. Plus she's not even my type" Jeonghan explained feeling embarrassed.
Joshua chuckled. "It's fine Jeonghan. I hadn't assumed anything and believe me, I already know what your type is" he said with a wink.
Jeonghan smiled back at Joshua.
"Lets go home Jeonghan" Joshua said before quickly walking out the door.
Jeonghan followed him silently.
-
When they finally made it back to the dorm Jeonghan walked straight into his room and closed the door behind him. He didn't want to be disturbed.
He threw his bag onto his bed and walked over to his desk, sitting down at it before placing his head in his hands.
He felt frustrated. He didn't want to move on. He just wanted things back the way they used to be.
He had never felt like this before. Losing Daena had made him realise just how deeply in love with her he had really been. It also made him realise he had never really experienced anything close to love before her. He wanted that again.
He ran a hand through his hair and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
He held it and stared at her number, almost dialling it. But he realised there was no point. She hadn't answered any of his other calls and she wasn't going to answer this one.
He placed his phone down on his desk and opened his laptop trying desperately to distract himself with work.
He heard the door to his room open and then close again.
Jeonghan groaned. The only person who entered his room without knocking was Joshua and he was not in the mood to talk to him.
"Go away Joshua, I'm busy" he said without turning around.
He heard the person behind him shuffle but they didn't leave.
"I said go away" he snapped.
He turned in his chair and to his surprise found it wasn't Joshua standing by his door.