a sudden change of heart
choi soomin
"so you kissed him on the cheek, and ran away?" soobin questions, having finally got me to tell him the whole story as we ate in the dining hall.
"yup." i nod, frowning as i take a bite from my sandwich.
"why did you run away?" he questions.
"he has a girlfriend, and i was drunk." i shrug, in my mind, running away was the best option.
"did he push you away?"
"well, no-"
"did he look grossed out?"
"i don't think so-"
"did he tell you to stop?"
"no, what's with all the questions?" i put my hand on his arm to get him to pause for a moment.
"so he didn't show any signs of not liking it, yet you still ran away?" he cocks an eyebrow at me.
"soobin, even if he pulled me back in for more, i still would have ran away. he has a girlfriend." i didn't understand what part of that he wasn't grasping. "you have a girlfriend, you wouldn't want anyone kissing you just because you didn't tell them to stop." his eyes widen for a moment before breaking eye contact with me, suddenly looking at his food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"right..." he trails off. i furrow my brows.
"okay, what is going on with you?"
"what? nothing's going on with me." he shrugs.
"come on. i told you about minho." i pout. he chuckles, but i knew it wasn't sincere.
"there's nothing to tell."
"soobin, you know damn well we can't lie to each other." i cross my arms, looking at him expectantly. he only groans.
"look, i'll tell you when there's something to tell." he says sternly. but i was unsatisfied.
"what does that even mean?" he looks at me with pleading eyes, as if genuinely begging me to not press further on this. "okay... but, are you okay?" i question, feeling slightly worried by his seriousness.
"i'm fine." he nods.
"so, you kissed minho." chan suddenly appears, plopping his tray down next to mine as he quickly sits down. i groan, dropping my head to the table. i didn't think i could get through another explanation.
"on the cheek." soobin tells him. "and then, she ran away." he chuckles, causing chan to chuckle as well.
"what are we laughing about?" changbin questions, taking a seat beside soobin.
"why are you here? you don't even go here." i lift my head from the table to cock an eyebrow at him.
"well i was supposed to eat with yeonjun, but he suddenly ran out of the dining hall." he shrugs at the memory.
"ran out?" soobin asks.
"yeah. totally darted. i have no clue where he went, and then i saw chan, so i just came over here." he explains.
"um... i'm gonna go look for him. i'll see you in class, soomin." he quickly picks up his tray.
"good luck!" changbin calls out after him, though i doubt he heard considering how quickly he left. "so, what was so funny?" he brings the conversation back to its original point, causing my head to fall back against the table.
"soomin kissed minho."
-
"i'm surprised to see you're still staring at him like he's the only thing in existence." soobin laughs, waving a hand in front of my face. i pull my gaze from minho, who i was intently watching as he placed various books back into the shelves. his forearms flexing handsomely each time he grabbed a new book.
"yeah, well i'm sure he's forgotten about it by now. so everything's back to normal." i tell him, more so trying to convince myself. of course, his words from that morning hadn't left my mind, in fact, they were the only thing i could really think about all day.
"well that's cool and all, but you really need to study." he says, pushing my head down to face my textbook.
"okay, mom." i roll my eyes, ignoring his urge for me to study as my eyes find minho again. i rest my chin in my palm, lazily allowing my eyes to trail over his body. "i bet he would look so good pinning me down, god i would love for him to-"
"you need friends." soobin's face contorts into disgust.
"you are my friend!"
"i'm your brother, find someone else to tell your sexual fantasies to. better yet, go talk to him."
"what do you expect me to say to him?" i cock my head at him.
"tell him how much you want him to... pin you down, or... whatever." he shakes his head, pursing his lips at his own words.
"girlfriend." i remind him.
"i said tell him, i didn't say do it." he shrugs.
"i think your girlfriend would be pissed to find out another girl was telling you how much she wanted you to-"
"can we stop talking about lia, please." something in his tone of voice reminded me of the way he acted earlier at lunch. i knew not to press any further, whatever this was, he would tell me when he was ready. and i could respect that for him.
"either way, you can't just tell people things like that." i obey his request, moving on from his girlfriend, but continuing the conversation.
"why not?"
"i'm pretty sure that could count as sexual harassment." i laugh.
"oh yeah. i guess so." he nods. "but you need to do something. i'm tired of watching you act out fantasies in your mind in the middle of the library." he dramatically shivers.
"okay, what's taehyun up to?" i question, smirking slightly.
"no." he deadpans, pointing a threatening finger at me.
"you're no fun." i roll my eyes.
"i love taehyun, he's a great guy. but taehyun with my baby sister? i won't allow it." he shakes his head. "why don't you go for beomgyu or kai instead?"
"beomgyu is weird, and kai doesn't even like women." i tell him with a chuckle.
"beomgyu is not..." he trails off. "beomgyu is handsome." he changes the direction of his sentence, earning a laugh from me.
"yep, he's very charming." i say sarcastically, dragging my gaze back to minho, only to realize he was looking at me as well. my breath gets caught in my throat when he doesn't break the eye contact, continuing to stare back at me. and then he was walking towards me. fuck me, fuck me... what could he possibly want now?
"hey, i see your backpack got to you well." he says, i didn't miss the slight tease in his voice.
"yeah, thanks for bringing it back." i reply, suddenly wishing i was actually studying instead of gawking at him.
"you should give me your number." he speaks to soobin, my eyes widening. "just so that next time she passes out drunk with chan, i don't have to wake up at three in the morning to take her home." he adds smoothly.
"that won't be necessary-"
"sure, give me your phone." soobin cuts me off, holding his hand out for minho's phone. minho sent me a slight smirk, one i would have missed had i not been admiring his sharp side profile. soobin hands his phone back with a smile.
"thanks." minho nods, smirking slightly as he reads whatever is on his screen.
"anytime." soobin nods.
"see you around, guys." and with that, he heads back to work, stocking the bookshelves like he doesn't make my heart beat a million miles a minute just by his mere presence.
"i gave him your number too." soobin admits with a chuckle.
"you what?" i whisper yell, roughly smacking his arm. he only chuckles, scooting away from me.
"you'll thank me later."
"no i won't." i roll my eyes, the sudden urge to actually study and ignore all of my surroundings, minho included, becoming more and more appealing. and as if on cue,
my phone vibrates, a text from an unsaved number lighting up the screen.