♡●♡●♡
"Hello." Says Arthur while he frowns. He knows who they are, of course he does.
But they don't know him, and partly that hurts. He knows how close Charles is with them.
"Oh excuse me, I thought you were somebody else." Says George and behind him were Lando and Alex.
"He looks a lot like him, wow." Says Lando.
"Yeah I know." Says Arthur with a cuckle.
"Arthur!" He looks up when his name is shouted and he saw Charles walking up to him.
Arthur sees the confused faves of the three boys in front of him.
"You're here?" Asks Charles and lays a hand on Arthur's shoulder.
"Wait, you know him? It was so weird, I really thought it was you when we saw him from behind." Laughs George.
"Well not a surprise." Says Charles, with a small smile before he looks back at Arthur.
"When did you arrive?" Asks Charles and Arthur roll his eyes.
"When I left home." Says Arthur.
"Home?'' Asks Lando and Arthur looks at him.
"Your friends don't even know I exist?" Asks Arthur to Charles, who looks at the ground.
"I know we said we wouldn't tell the media but doing like I don't exist to people close to you?" Arthur looks at Charles, who still doesn't look at him. "You really took me out of your life, didn't you?" Says Arthur and Charles looks at him with a shocked face.
"That shows how important I am for you." Says Arthur while he shook his head softly.
"I'm sorry." Whispers Charles while he looks at his friends and then back at Arthur.
"We will go." They hear Alex say, but Charles doesn't focus on them, only on his little brother who looks really hurt.
"I never thought you would keep me a secret from everyone." Says Arthur.
"You wanted tha-"
"No, I didn't want the media to know. I didn't want to be your secret!" Says Arthur. "Is that why you never invited me before?'' Asks Arthur and Charles mouth fell open.
"Non." Says Charles and wants to grab Arthur's arm but the younger boy set a step away.
"I don't even know why I tried getting close to you two again and all to break my heart again. To leave me here in Monaco while you enjoy the rest of your life, letting me rot." Says Arthur.
"That's not true!" Shouts Charles and then slams a hand in front of his mouth.
"Let everyone hear you." Says Arthur while he sees the eyes on them.
"I'm going to go." Says Arthur when Charles stays silent, but when he wanted to walk, Charles grabs his arm and pulls him along. Arthur's not strong enough to get his arm free, and he sees the Ferrari hospitality getting closer.
"Let me go!" Says Arthur, but Charles doesn't listen and throws away the beer in Arthur's hand.
"Hey! I was drinking that!" Says Arthur, but shut his mouth with the look Charles gives him.
Further away, Arthur sees his older brother and Maman sitting at a table. They are laughing together at something Lorenzo shows on his phone. They do look so happy.
“Sit down.” Says Charles and push him into the seat next to Lorenzo.
"We're going to talk." Says Charles while he sits down as well.
"Since when are you here?'' Asks Lorenzo and Arthur doesn't look at them but at the table.
"Since this morning." Mumbles Arthur.
"I didn't see you around here?" Says Lorenzo.
"I was at the fanzone for most of the time, great party out there, and then I saw Dennis and went with him to hide from the rain." Says Arthur, and grabs the sleeve of Dennis' hoodie that hangs around his waist.
"You went out there?" Ask Lorenzo.
"Yeah? I'm allowed to go drinking, and they had great music, so it was good." Says Arthur.
"You know how dangerous that is to go out alone?'' Says Lorenzo.
"I'm out in Monaco alone a lot and this is a grand prix, so nothing is going to happen. They have fun and so do I want as well." Says Arthur.
"You're going out?'' Asks Mamam
"Not a lot, sometimes." Says Arthur.
"This isn't what I wanted to talk about." Says Charles to cut this conversation off.
"We need to talk about what has been going on since 2017." Says Charles, and Arthur sits back in his chair.
"Dad died, you went away for your career with Lorenzo again and Maman was grieving." Says Arthur like it was simple.
"And how did you feel?'' Asks Charles and Arthur looks back to the table, staying silent.
How did he feel?
He felt a lot but at the same time, nothing.
"I had school." Says Arthur.
"But that isn't what you feel? School is not an emotion." Says Lorenzo.
Arthur dares to look up and his eyes look straight at his mother ones.
"I felt alone." Says Arthur, and kept looking at his mother's face how it changed from angry to concerned.
"I was the kid without a father suddenly. You were all away, Maman you were with friends or family and suddenly I was alone. I went away to school with no one in the house or you asleep and came back in a dark house after shit days at school.” Says Arthur.
"No one reached out to me. I saw no one, no family, my friends left because I became this sad child in their eyes. You have no idea how it was to see everyone getting away from you after losing your dad."
"You never told me." Says Maman.
"You were grieving, and I didn't want to burden you with my problems. Lorenzo and Charles never picked up their phones or messages back, so I stopped being a burden. I've always been one, and you told me that often enough." Says Arthur.
"You were." Says Maman
“Maman!” Says Lorenzo and Arthur feels his hands starting to shake.
"I know. I tried not to be one."
"But you were and are." Says Maman, and it hurts Arthur.
He tried so hard to keep everything away from his mother. He did the things she asked him, maybe not always with love but he still did it.
"I know I am in your eyes. I never do anything right, do I?" Ask Arthur.
"You are a lot more difficult than your brothers, that's for sure." Says Maman.
"I never be perfect like them, right?" Says Arthur "like they always say. The younger one is the trouble one." Adds Arthur.
"You are." Says Maman and she meant it. Arthur knows she does, her face doesn't lie.
It feels like she's disgusted with Arthur. It really feels like she does.
"I didn't want to talk with you two putting each other down!" Says Charles and Arthur looks at him.
"It's stupid to talk. This makes no sense." Says Arthur.
"It does if you two are going to stop this bullshit." Says Lorenzo
"How are you two standing so far from each other?" Ask Charles.
"I've had such difficult years after losing your dad, having to arrange everything and him being in trouble didn't help. Getting phone calls about how he skipped lessons, or didn't do his homework. Exams went with difficulty." She says.
"But I still graduated. I worked my ass off to pass every exam and I did. Not a single failed exam. You had no idea how difficult high school was for me."
"Skipping class is the reason, nothing else! You were a disappointment, and you ran from everything." Says Maman and Arthur sinks into his chair.
"That's not fair." Says Arthur.
"But it's the truth." Says Maman and Arthur looks at his lap.
"You stopped school for your free time and did nothing. You became this lazy teenager like your generation is."
"I had a job, so I could save money and look at what I wanted to do later. I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to become. I knew I liked motorsport but had no idea what I could do, and then I started my studies and found my place in the museum which I love. I've not been doing nothing, I've been working out what I want to do. You saw me in the evening, when I was done working, cleaning or looking into studies." Says Arthur.
"I told you that you had to get a job because you turned eighteen and the house is a lot of money. Asking money from your child who still lives at home is normal."
"I never complained! I gave you all my money." Says Arthur.
"Why did you never tell me you had money problems? Maman, I can help too." Says Charles.
"I don't want your hard-worked money sweetie. Plus you don't live at home anymore, you have your own one to pay." She says.
"I don't care, I want to help."
"Arthur does, and it is enough." she says.
"We will talk about it somewhere else, this isn't closed." Says Charles to her and then focus back to Arthur.
"Call you tell me how you feel?"
"Feel about what?'' Asks Arthur.
"Now, the past years. What is going on inside your head." Ask Charles.
"I don't have to say that." Says Arthur
"But then we can understand." Says Lorenzo.
"Let me say it different, I don't want to tell you." Says Arthur
"Why not?" Asks Lorenzo.
"Do I ask you how your doing mentally? I don't want to talk about it and neither does it care. I've been handling it for so long, so it's something for me and not you."
"So you have been struggling?" Ask Charles.
"He says he doesn't want to talk about it and neither should we push him before he thinks he's more important than anyone else." Says Maman.
"First, that doesn't make sense. And Maman, mental health is a serious issue." Says Lorenzo.
"He wants attention Lo, can't you see that. Since you two have been here he's nothing but whiny. I don't care." Says Maman.
"He's your son?" Says Charles, and the two older boys look at their mother. Not seeing how Arthur's face fell and tears are forming in his eyes.
His mother doesn't care about him.
He blinks and the tears disappear from his eyes, and he puts on the mask he has got to learn to put on.
Don't show your emotions, don't let people see how you feel because they will use it against you.
He hears them talking, he sees how mad Charles looks but he doesn't listen. He wants to go.
He stands up without saying anything and leaves the hospitality. He heard his name being shouted after him, but he doesn't turn around and keeps walking.
No one follows him.
They don't care.
♡●♡●♡
"How can you say that!" Says Lorenzo to their mother when he sees Arthur walking away.
"It's the true Lorenzo. Everything is always about him and i'm getting tired of it!'' She says.
"He is your son who has also been through a lot. Don't forget that. What he said is true Maman, he has been alone all these years after papa died." Says Charles
"I had a hard time too, Charles? I lost the love of my life. And he didn't make it easier." Says Maman.
"I miss the old Arthur. I miss him, I really do. Of course, I love Arthur, but he's changed and not in the good way. He doesn't listen, he walks away all the time when we argue. I miss my little child who was living care free, enjoyed spending time with me or just lying down with me when we watched a movie or he had a bad day at school. He was a happy boy and he changed after your father passed away."
"But it isn't weird that he changed Maman. He went through a lot. He was thirteen." Says Lorenzo.
"And I tried being there for him, but he pushed me away." She says.
Charles looks at his mother and his heart hurts. He sees how much it hurts her.
"Yes, I've been with friends, but that was because of him too. He was in trouble at school and I couldn't handle it anymore. I had no control over him, I couldn't get through because of him." She says.
"This is so confusing to me." Says Lorenzo and Maman looks at him.
"I know we haven't been there for you, and I'm so sorry. We had to be there to help you with Arthur." Says Charles.
"But we have called everyday and you were there when I needed you." Says Maman.
"But we haven't been there for Arthur." Says Lorenzo and looks at Charles.
"I ignored most of his calls and messages because I didn't feel like talking to him about his teenage problems. And when I saw and wanted to call back I always forgot. What did we see him on holiday last year? We did fun things with you Maman, but I have no idea what we did with Arthur. Where was he?'' Says Lorenzo.
"I don't know." Says Charles.
“Oh my gosh.” Says their mother and puts a hand on her mouth.
"And family pictures last Christmas, he wasn't on them." Says Lorenzo
“He was.” Says Maman and Lorenzo shook his head.
"I checked all the pictures and there are a few you see him walking in the background, but he's not in the pictures themselves."
"He was upstairs a lot. You told us he was always like that, always upstairs." Says Charles.
“He is.” She says.
"Hiding in his room." Says Lorenzo. "We didn't even try including him." Says Lorenzo
"When he told us about that, I thought about it and it is true. I looked at the pictures and I don't have a picture with Arthur, the last one I have is at papa's funeral." Says Lorenzo and Charles eyes widened a bit.
"What?"
"What happened with the Christmas or holidays pictures? Where were we in between that?"
"You're not lying?'' Asks Maman and Lorenzo shook his head.
"He met George, Lando and Alex today." Whispers Charles and they look at him.
"They didn't know who he was. I never told them about Arthur." Says Charles and bites his lip softly.
"We've talked a lot about our brothers and sisters back in corona, when we did our livestreams or gaming aside from that. I spent a lot of time talking with them and never told them about Arthur. You were always the one I was talking about. And now I think of, I don't even think he crossed my mind." Says Charles.
"We really did forget about him, didn't we?" Ask Lorenzo.
"Maybe that's why he's like that. We lost our eye on him and he had all the time and freedom to do what he wanted. No one was looking out for him." Says Maman and they look at her.
"Maybe it's all our fault and not his." She adds and then Charles looks at Lorenzo.
"It's our fault." Says Charles.
♡●♡●♡
He made a really reckless decision by going to the club.
He's not a big party guy. He doesn't really have friends to go out with, so that's a reason too why he doesn't go that much. Plus, he's not that big of a drinker. He can drink, he had hangovers a lot of times but it's not every week.
All he wants right now is to forget. His mother doesn't like him, his brothers are leaving again in two days and it feels like all they did was argue.
He doesn't want them to go again, he misses them so much in his life, and it's all he wants back.
He wants his family back together. Is it too much to ask?
So that's how he found himself, drunk and dancing to the music and on the dance floor. He found a group of people who were including him and he had fun. He was laughing, drinking and everything felt normal again.
The sad feeling was away and he was enjoying himself.
Fortunately he can have fun without alcohol and he has a limit on how much he wants to drink.
"Do you want another one?" A boy, Arthur doesn't remember his name put his arm around his shoulder.
"No thank you, I had enough for tonight." Says Arthur.
"Don't be a party boomer." He says and his friends laugh.
"One more." Mandy, he remembered her name, put a hand on his chest and he looks at her.
"For me." She pouts and Arthur smiles.
"Then you choose what I have." He says and her smile gets bigger and leaves to the bar.
"Of course she gets another one." Laugh a girl and Arthur looks at her.
"She always knows how to get a boy do something. Nobody can say no to her."
"It's just a drink?" Says Arthur.
"And then you two end up leaving together, and we don't see her until tomorrow." She says and the others laugh.
"It's what she always does, mate." Says the boy next to him.
"Well, not today then, I'm here to have a fun time, nothing more." Says Arthur.
"Then you don't know her." He says and then Mandy came back and give him his glass.
"What is this?" Ask Arthur
"You have to try and guess." She says and winks at him before leaving with her friends.
Arthur takes a sip and then pulls a face.
"It's disgusting." Says Arthur and the boy laugh.
"You're not used to anything." He says and stands in front of Arthur. He takes his glass and takes a sip.
"Not bad."
"What is it?"
"No idea." He says and lays his hand on his shoulder.
"How come I've never seen you around?" He asks.
"I never go out really." Answers Arthur and he nods.
"You live here?"
"Yes, never been anywhere else." Arthur says, and then looks at the hand on his shoulder, as much as he could then.
His fingers caress Arthur's neck and he looks at the boy who is staring at him.
“I-uh.” Arthur wants to take a step back but was stopped with the bodies around them.
"Is there a reason you didn't go with Mandy?'' He asks and Arthur starts to feel uncomfortable.
"No? I don't want to go home with random people."
"So it's not because she's a girl?"
"What, no!" Arthur removes his hand from his neck.
"I don't want to have random sex with people. And plus, I'm not gay, so it wouldn't have another reason." Arthur says and the give him the glass.
"I'm leaving." Says Arthur and pushes himself through the crowd.
When he finally leaves the club he walks towards his bike and lean against it and takes a deep breath of the cooling air.
It feels like he could breathe again.
"Look who we have here." Arthur looks up to see Lias and Nathan standing there and he turns around again and close his eyes.
"Oi, we're talking to you!" His shoulder is grabbed and Arthur looks straight into Lias's eyes.
"You stink." Says Nathan and Arthur roll his eyes.
"You go out? Never saw you doing that before, having fun in general." Says Lias and they both laugh.
"Let me grab my bike and leave me alone." Says Arthur, he doesn't want to put energy in this.
"Someone waiting for you? You're getting laid Leclerc." Laughs Lias and then pushes Arthur backwards and his back hits the wall.
"Let me go." Says Arthur and tries to push Lias away.
"Pathetic." Spats Lias and then his head makes contact with the wall and Arthur groans in pain. He hears them laughing and he feels a knee against his stomach.
His neck is grabbed and he stands bent forward. He loses control and has no idea where he is or what is happening. Maybe he drank too much so he lost his coordination.
"Hey, let him go!" And then the arms were off his body and Arthur falls back on the ground, leaning against the wall.
~~~~~~
Season is over for F1 and F2 and I'm really sad about it.
So happy Logan gets a second chance next year! He deserves it.
But F2 will be hard next year, I know we have to move on but still. Arthur, Clem and Fred, I can't 😞