This is a Mahabharata Fanfiction mostly based on facts we see in Star Mahabharat. The Mahabharat in its entirety holds a lot of facts and is a complicated and marvelous creation, but this is just a fanfiction. There are several facts which were not included/ not correct in Star Mahabharat but I am specifically basing my fanfiction on the serial with some changes. So there will be several anomalies. This story is just meant as an entertainment and there is no intention to hurt anyone's feelings, religious or otherwise. I have just borrowed the characters to weave a storyline.
As always it may take some time to come up with the next chapter due to health reasons. Kindly bear with me as I really intend to take this story to a conclusion. Thank you all for the kind comments and I will always welcome comments and suggestions. You all are truly great readers and encouragers. Thank you and regards.
I am time and again overwhelmed by all the positive comments and encouragement. It means a lot. Thank you all.
Every single comment is treasured. Suggestions are also most welcome.
I have started writing some ICT based fanfiction, mostly centered on our Mahi Bhai Sir, Virat sir and the others. But I do not know whether it will be welcomed and even if I will ever post them. Nevertheless, do let me know how you feel about this chapter
17. Yudhistira
The day had now progressed to nightfall and, yet again, Arjun's room served as a meeting point. Krishna had not left the room at all and still occupied his chosen window seat. The Dwarakadhish was staring out of the open window, deep in thought. He sat so still, that for a moment Yudhistira thought that he had fallen asleep. The weather outside remained pleasant, with a gentle drizzle cooling the surroundings.
The constant conversation in the room was lulling Yudhistira to some state of meditative stillness. He was not paying too much attention as it was mostly technical discussions between the twins with occasional help being meted out by Pitamah and Guru Drone.
Yudhistira was seated on Arjun's bed with his brother's head cradled on his lap. Despite the constant energy being channeled into his brother by Pitamah, Gurudev and Vasudev, Arjun's condition had worsened. Yudhistira's hands were subconsciously smoothing out Arjun's disheveled hair and his mind kept repeating the Maha Mrityunjay mantra. He could feel Arjun's severely depleted core but even as they tried to rush in as much energy as possible, the archer's body was rejecting it beyond a certain limit.
Bheem and Pitamah had not had any major success in their search and even though they had travelled distances further than Yudhistira and Angaraj, they were unable to find any concrete information about the man who had attacked Dushyala and Arjun. Even now they were having a heated discussion, and Yudhistira caught only bits which travelled his way.
"...my spies have yet to bring any concrete information. All they have found is that someone resembling an ascetic has been seen roaming these parts. We know that he is the one we seek as he was having a grievous wound...." It was Pitamah speaking. Never had his age reflected so heavily in his voice as it now did.
"So he did fight the Astra or did he not?" Sahadeva sounded frustrated.
"How will it matter?" Nakul's reply came fast and in exasperation. "We are fairly sure that it is not the original Narayanastra."
Some nature of bickering started up between the twins and Yudhistira tuned out most of it. He concentrated on trying to feed Arjun's core with what energy he could and the veil of gloom slightly lifted when his anuj accepted most of it. Yudhistira knew well and also accepted, that his capacity of providence of energy was considerably limited when compared to Pitamah, Gurudev and especially Krishna, but with the exception of Vasudev (Krishna), his was the energy Arjun accepted most easily.
His anuj was moving restlessly every now and then; the coughing had decreased significantly but it was not for the better. Arjun's body was unable to garner enough strength for even something so basic. His body burned hot in places and was icy cold in others. The wound grew more infected by the moment and the skin around looked more and more dead. Every breath the archer was drawing in, sounded painful and there was an odd rattling sound.
Even as Yudhistira concentrated his energy to aide Arjun, he kept murmuring, "Wake up, Phalgun. You have to fight back, dear child. You are not fighting back. Why are you not fighting back?"
The Samrat knew that the words made little sense, but it was something that he needed to do to help himself, to keep his anxiety in check.
His Dharma!
For the second time in his life, Yudhistira lamented about his sense of Dharma.
He should have heeded his brothers, he should not have come to Hastinapur without putting everything into consideration. Arjun lies so close to death and the only person Yudhistira could place blame on, was himself.
"As much as I wish that you would rethink some decisions before you make them, Jyestha, that would very much be in the future. There was nothing that you could have done this instance. Destiny works in mysterious ways."
The words spoken by Krishna were so soft, that for an incredulous moment, Yudhistira thought it was in his mind.
But by the time he turned to look at Vasudev, the lord of Dwaraka was back to staring out at the night sky and occasionally trying out new notes on his flute.
Nakul and Sahadeva had been pouring over some ancient texts and were combining medicines with leaves, roots and weeds, the likes of which Yudhistira had not seen.
Some gleamed faintly in the relative darkness of the room and others emitted wonderful scents or noxious fumes. But most of the medicines were discarded haphazardly.
But what bothered Yudhistira was the argument, which he could overhear taking place in hushed tones, between his youngest brothers; he concentrated a little more.
"...Keep your voice down..." Snapped Nakul, sounding nothing like his usual light-hearted self. "What is your problem, Sahadeva?"
"You again messed up the mixture. You used up all of the specimen we had! Even now, we are not sure about the exact composition of the toxin which has afflicted Bhrata Arjun. And I am afraid," There was some hesitation, "I am afraid that we are woefully short of time."
"What do you mean?" Nakul had caught hold of Sahadeva's shoulders and Yudhistira felt the breathe catching hold in his throat.
"I do not know!" Sahadeva looked more frustrated by the minute. "All I get are glimpses, but none of them fill me with any hope! It has been 2 days and all we are doing is trying to keep Bhrata stable. But what we are actually doing is simply numbing his senses so that Bhrata Arjun's external pain is controlled. But is it sufficient? Even as we speak, his heart is fighting for each beat, his body is in so much pain. And I do not dare to even speculate about his mind!"
The words was uttered so softly that Yudhistira caught them only on account of his keen hearing; he furtively sneaked a look at Krishna but it did not seem that Vasudev had overheard; It seemed but Yudhistira was never sure with Krishna.
There was a few quiet, too quiet, moments and then Nakul's dulcet tones crept in, "What did you mean, Sahadeva? About me messing up again?"
Yudhistira did not need to look at his brother to imagine the hurt that must have reflected on his face.
Pitamah and Guru Drone were discussing about the strengths and weaknesses of the spies who had been scattered over the kingdom and beyond and for a moment Pitamah's words,
"....Bhaarav has found a trail to the northern mountain area... It may lead to Gandhar...."
This turned Yudhistira's concentration from the twins to the oldest people in the room. His eyes remained on Arjun, but the rest of his senses tuned in.
"Bhaarav is the best there is." Guru Drone sounded somewhat pleased. "But Gandhar, Mahamahim? Do you think...." Gurudev's voice had further lowered and Yudhistira could feel his gaze flirting over him, making sure that the conversation was not being overheard.
Quelling his sense of discomfort arising from misleading his teacher, Yudhistira acted nonchalant. He busied himself with wiping down Arjun's sweaty face and arranging his hair, yet again.
Yudhistira's eyes found purchase on Krishna's right foot which dangled from wherein he was sat at the window stile and for a moment, the Samrat lost himself in the sight of those lotus hued soles; they brought him an odd but much needed sense of momentary peace.
"Gandhar, Mahamahim?" Guru Drone's voice was barely audible now.
Yudhistira felt the muscles of his body contract but long practice of keeping his expression blank came in handy; he listened hard.
The seasoned warriors had further lowered their voices and a portion of their conversation took place through gestures. Yudhistira caught only a few, sometimes inequitable words.
"....what to think..." Pitamah.
"...how far will he...but why... not the Kauravas...." Guru Drone.
"...it may mean nothing...." Pitamah, sounding totally unconvincing.
Yudhistira risked a slight movement of his eyes and caught the fleeting look of scepticism on Guru Drone's face.
"You know how he is, Mahamahim." Guru Drone's voice was tight, subdued, but firm. "....cannot trust..."
There was a light touch on Yudhistira's shoulder and he was startled out of his circumspect observations.
It was Vasudev, again; he had poked Yudhistira's shoulder with his flute. He carefully gestured towards the other end of the room where the medicine table had been set up and again, Yudhistira's attention was drawn towards his youngest brothers, the Aswinikumars.
The brothers were now talking in tones which were too muted even for Yudhistira to hear. Though, arguing would be the more appropriate terminology.
Nakul and Sahadeva were arguing! And so much so, that their medicines and its paraphernalia lay forgotten.
The sight of this caused Yudhistira's anger to flare; what were they playing about with where Arjun fought for every breath!
He was about to call out to them but Krishna made a low sound of dissention. Yudhistira looked over and caught the minute shaking of his head and the nudged his chin towards them.
The gestures confused Yudhistira, till he found Nakul throwing the bottle held in his hand at Sahadeva, barely missing him, and then storming out of the room. The things happened so fast that Yudhistira gapped helplessly as he saw Sahadeva rushed to follow Nakul and he also did not notice when the room went deadly silent.
He snapped out of his stupor when Pitamah called out his name. The aged patriarch was looking worried and even as he moved to presumably follow Nakul and Sahadeva, Yudhistira finally intervened.
"Let me speak to them, if you please, Pitamah."
As always, Yudhistira's elder brother side took over. His brothers were primarily his responsibility; both their troubles and their conflicts.
He looked over at Vasudev, "Would you...?"
"Of course," came Krishna's reply before Yudhistira could frame his query. The Dark skinned lord supported Arjun's head as he shifted places with the Samrat and placed the archer's head on his own lap.
Yudhistira spared a fond look for the two friends before swiftly making his way out of Arjun's chambers and moving on to the next, where he knew that he would find the twins. And he was proved right when he found the sons of Madri on the open terrace adjoining the Chambers.
This Chamber used to house Arjun's weapons, when they still lived in Hastinapur, and the terrace was a regular meeting spot for the for the brothers, and sometimes, even a few of their cousins. It has housed and borne witness to several antics and conversations between the brother and now it was bearing witness to the most unusual scene of them all.
Yudhistira had to quell his instincts and forced himself to listen in, at least for a few moments. Nakul and Sahadeva was too engrossed in their shouting match that they did not notice the presence of a third.
"I will ask you one last time, Sahadeva," Nakul's sharp voice breached the stillness of the night, "What exactly is your problem? I have had it with your snide remarks at me! Mata Kunti has told us time and again, that we need to stay together, in body, mind and spirit. It is what makes us stronger."
"Oh yes! The same Mata Kunti whose son is dying! What would you have us tell that devastated mother, Bhrata Nakul?"
Yudhistira was taken aback by the contempt in Sahadeva's voice. Believing themselves to be alone, the youngest Pandava had not censored his words or his tone.
Nakul caught hold of Sahadeva's shoulders and shook him violently. "Her son, our brother! I know, Sahadeva! I was there since the moment Bhrata Arjun was brought in. I have been using all my skills and more, in order to cure him, to break the curse. And I will be damned before I let him die on my watch! HE WILL NOT DIE!"
The last words, Nakul yelled and for a moment Sahadeva looked taken aback. But it was only for a moment. And then Sahadeva laughed.
The sound was so grating that Yudhistira barely masked his wince and Nakul looked stunned.
"Your skills? Our skills? Nothing is working, Bhrata! Which dream world are you living in?" Sahadeva was pacing at this point, moving over to the ledge and back. He turned around to stare at Nakul and with his voice plummeted with scorn and a fair bit of derision, he snarled, "Why don't you just accept that you messed up, Bhrata? Do you even remember the promise we made as kids, when Mama Shalya came to take us?"
This was something new to Yudhistira and he stood in the shadows, unmoving and with a rapidly beating heart.
"Did you forget why we did not accept the kingdom of Madra and leave with Mamashree as his heirs?" Sahadeva continued. "We promised to always, always be of service to our elder brothers! To give our all so that they may know some peace. To use what powers have been delivered to us in order to protect them and Mata. We swore that it was the least we could do for them! We promised that if someday we fail them, if our powers fail them, then we give up that power and if need be, our life!"
Yudhistira felt an odd tightness in his chest. He stumbled and sought to grab hold of the curtains hanging from the Terrace entrance. What in the holy name of Mahadeva were his brothers on about?
"Do you really believe that I no longer remember that promise?" Yudhistira strained his eyes to catch the expression on Nakul's face, but it was strangely blank. Nakul's voice was firm but depleted as he continued, "I do not need to be reminded that I have messed up. You believe that this is not pricking away at me every moment? As each prahar goes by and Bhrata Arjun's strength depletes further, I curse himself. If I could take his place, I would in an instant!"
"As if!" Sahadeva scoffed and this caused a tremor of distress of dance across Nakul's handsome visage.
Yudhistira's hands curled up into tight fists, fighting his every instinct to go and comfort his brothers. In their distress for their inability to cure Arjun, they were lashing out at each other which was no solution at all.
Nakul again caught hold of Sahadeva's shoulders and did so rather gently. "I am sorry, Deva. I am so sorry that my lack of confidence resulted in me messing up. But I am trying to rectify my mistakes and with you by my side, we will cure Bhrata! We will not give up, but please try to have some faith in me, in us."
"And what if you cannot? What then? What death would you prefer for us? Water immersion or Immolation by fire?"
There was a shocked moment of silence or maybe it was more. It seemed that even the atmosphere had read into the situation and the surroundings had grown sombre. No longer were the soothing rains pelting the balcony, instead the air had grown heavier with now unshed moisture.
Yudhistira had been too shocked to react for a few moments and he managed to snap out of his zoned out state only at the last moment. And it was mostly by pure luck that he managed to catch hold of Nakul's hand before it could have made contact with Sahadeva's face.
However, Yudhistira's hand moved on their own accord and totally as a reflex reaction, placed a sharp and hard slap on Nakul's face.
The prince's face snapped sideways with the force of the blow and Yudhistira's royal ring caught the side of his lips, causing it to bleed. But at the moment, Yudhistira's temper ruled over any feeling of guilt or compassion he may have had otherwise.
"What are you doing, Nakul? Is this how you will behave with your younger brother? Is this what has been taught to you?" Yudhistira's voice seemed to echo around even in the open terrace and he turned his harshest glare at Nakul.
"J-Jyesth...?"
"You keep shut for now, Sahadeva! You will get your turn. It seems that you have forgotten how to speak to you elders! What is wrong with both of you! And Nakul!"
Yudhistira's glare intensified further and he held Nakul's chin making his anuj meet his gaze. "You were about to slap Sahadeva? What has come over you? He is your anuj, child!"
"I am sorry, Jyesth." Nakul's voice was so low that Yudhistira had to strain hard to hear. "B-But did you hear what Sahadeva is saying? He seems to have lost his mind!"
"So you will choose to slap him?" Yudhistira sounded incredulous.
Nakul made an exasperated sound. "You slapped me too, Jyestha!'
Yudhistira was expecting an angry Nakul but the complaint came out in a plaintive manner; Yudhistira was taken aback. Now as he really looked at Nakul's face, a sense of horror permeated his senses.
"I am so very sorry, Nakul! Oh what have I done, my child!" Yudhistira cupped Nakul's face gently and used his thumb to gently wipe off the blood streaks, trying to get a clear picture of the injury. The cut made by his ring was not too deep yet the sight of it caused Yudhistira's heart to squeeze painfully. "I did not mean to hurt you, my dear anuj. Will you accept my apology?
"What are you saying, Jyestha?" Surprising Yudhistira, Nakul caught his eldest brother in a warm embrace and proceeded to hide his face in the folds of Yudhistira's angavastra. "I should be sorry. I messed up, my insecurities interfered in Bhrata Arjun's treatment. And the slap? You hold every right to slap me and to punish me as you deem fit. And you will certainly not apologize for this one. My behavior compelled you to hit me."
The last line did not sit well with Yudhistira and he made Nakul meet his eyes again.
"Never say that, do not even think that." He rasped out. "Unnecessary violence is never correct, not even if it is done by your Jyesth or anyone else. And never say that you compelled someone to hit you! It is never your fault, it was my choice. And yes, I will apologize for the same. Today I scolded you for raising your hand to Sahadeva and did the same thing not one moment later. So did Sahadeva also deserve it? Did he compel you to hit him?"
Nakul's face lost its colour so quickly that Yudhistira was worried for a moment. The next moment he found Nakul's arms around his neck and much to his continued horror, he felt Nakul's tears on his neck. His brother heaved with barely controlled sobs and Yudhistira tightened his arms, forming a comforting cocoon of warmth and love.
"It is all my fault..." A small, barely audible voice broke through the fog of grief and Yudhistira looked over at the speaker, taking care to keep Nakul in his embrace. Sahadeva was standing there forlorn and the look of utter melancholy on his face, felt more painful than a sword wound to Yudhistira.
"Come here, Sahadeva!" Yudhistira firmly commanded and held together what courage still remained in him and pulled Sahadeva in a partial hug too.
"It is indeed your fault to some extent, Sahadeva. What made you say those things to Nakul?"
"You h-heard?" Sahadeva stammered and looked at his Jyesth, looking further mortified.
Yudhistira nodded. He looked at Sahadeva sternly even as his heart clenched with pain. "What were you thinking Deva? I have been watching over your interactions with Nakul since a long time. The way that you were blatantly misbehaving and being disrespectful towards your older brother is nothing short of atrocious."
It pained Yudhistira to use such harsh words towards his youngest anuj, the apple of their eyes and the most loved Pandava prince. But being an elder brother, he had to bear the responsibility of showing Sahadeva the mirror, and also taking and shielding his pain.
As expected Sahadeva's eyes brimmed with tears and what further pained Yudhistira was the stoic manner he held himself and refused to let the tears fall. "What were you thinking, child?" Yudhistira repeated. "Or did thinking desert you?"
Sahadeva's head bowed further and he gestured in negative.
"Then?" Yudhistira's voice stepped and this made Nakul intervene with,
"Please Jyestha. Let it be. Deva was not wrong, I over reacted."
Yudhistira shifted his gaze towards Nakul for a moment, taking in his red eyes and wet face. "Yes, you did. But what Sahadeva did to provoke you, it very much bordered on insolence. So do not defend him, not now!"
Yudhistira's voice had become harsher but he felt only pride when Nakul did not back down and repeated, "Please Bhrata. Please let it be for now. He is just devastated because of Bhrata Arjun's condition. I should not have overreacted."
"And you aren't?" Yudhistira asked sardonically.
"But Jyestha..."
"Why are you defending me, Bhrata Nakul?" Sahadeva's broken voice interrupted Nakul's. "I deserve whatever Jyesth deems worthy. You should have slapped me, Jyestha, not Bhrata Nakul."
"You deserve nothing less!" It took the last bit of grip Yudhistira had on his emotions to utter the words and as Sahadeva broke down into sobs, the eldest Pandava could have killed himself, and it wouldn't have hurt half as much.
"Jyesth!"
A soft voice interrupted the gathering and Yudhistira found Krishna standing where he had stood before and there was such empathy in those lotus orbs that Yudhistira would have crumpled had it not been for Nakul in his arms.
The eyes took in Yudhistira's devastated state, the wound on Nakul's cheek and Sahadeva's distressed cries and there was no judgement in them, only utter acceptance.
"Jyestha! I know that you need downtime, but I am really sorry. Arjun needs you, all of you."
And again, to his increasing anxiety, he saw the shimmer of tears in Krishna's eyes.
"D-Did he deteriorate?"
Krishna took a moment and then replied, "You will have to see this; I find myself woefully short of words.
Nakul, Sahadeva! You will need to push back everything negative if you truly wish to help my Parth."
"Of course, Vasudev..." Sahadeva started but was again interrupted by Krishna.
"Words mean nothing here,"
The words by Krishna was completely free of any censure and yet Yudhistira could feel the underlying hardness beneath. The Dwarakadhish took in a deep breath and seemed to gather his thoughts. "If you want... If you truly want your Bhrata Arjun to defeat d-death now, you will have to garner all your expertise, Aswinikumars. You will have to leave behind all your anger, insecurities and doubts and regain trust in your teachings, in your knowledge and most specifically, in each other."
Though impossible, yet the words echoed around the open balcony and on point, thunder lashed across the skies illuminating the surroundings.
"Can I place my trust in you, Aswinikumars? Can your Jyesth?"
Even Yudhistira could not help the shiver which ran through him at Krishna's words and the utter power behind them. He stole a worried look at his brothers and found them with equal levels of determination and feared resolve in their visages. Nakul and Sahadeva shared a quick look and firmly nodded.
"Are you sure?" Krishna's voice was no higher than a whisper but the power held behind it was immense and even somewhat majestic to behold. His dark visage looked even darker with prominent worry in his ever lustrous eyes. "I will need every bit of the power that the Pandavas possess, as one. And I will need every bit of the medical prowess of the sons of Madri as one, not the façade that it is now! Your Bhrata Arjun needs it! My Parth needs it!"
Yudhistira was so taken aback by the determined and strong words of Vasudev Sri Krishna that he never noticed when Sahadeva had moved towards Nakul and clasped his twin in a strong embrace. But his eyes; those remained fixed on Krishna.
"It was never Nakul's fault, Vasudev, it was mine. And I swear on everything that I lay trust in, that it will not happen again. And if I ever feel that my insecurities are coming in the way I will...."
"You will seek me out and talk to me," Yudhistira interrupted before Sahadeva could declare something ludicrous.
"I will Jyestha Bhrata and Bhrata Krishna, this is the promise I...no, we, give to you. Please forgive us. We have lost our way it seems. It is time we found it back."
Krishna finally nodded and it seemed that he was finally satisfied but Yudhistira's concerns had surmounted by now.
"What brought you here from Arjun's side, Krishna? Is he...?"
Krishna shook his head. "His condition has worsened, Jyesth. Severely so. I will have to find a way back to his mind again and try to heal his psyche first. But at this juncture I will need all of Nakul and Sahadeva's prowess to tide Parth's physical body through this exertion. The battles he is facing within, has started showing its marks on his body. We have to counter this curse and soon."
"But how, Vasudev? When I...we have been unsuccessful till now." Nakul's voice was so plaintive that Yudhistira worriedly looked over and yet again, the sight of that ugly and bloodied wound on his cheek twisted the strings on his heart.
"You will make it Nakul, if you only trust in your prowess. You are second to none, child!"
And with Krishna's words, Yudhistira finally found the glimmer of confidence which was missing in Nakul for so long and the Samrat caught his brother in an impromptu embrace, loving and gently caressing his abused cheek.
"Do not lose your confidence, Nakul. And you make sure that he retains it, Deva!" Yudhistira addressed his youngest brother a little sternly and yet, reached out and caressed his bowed head. "Let's go, Krishna. My Phalgun has suffered enough!"
With the final words and yet again, wrapping the shield of confidence and determination around himself, Yudhistira traced the path back which he had taken before, only this time, he was flanked by the strengths of his brothers and was basking in the protective aura of Krishna.
The Samrat knew that they had hit rock bottom, but he also knew that the only way now was up, towards something better. And even it took every bit of his strength and even if it wrecks him in the process, he will do whatever is needed to revive Arjun and to keep his brothers resilient.
"You have my promise too, Krishna!" Yudhistira thought and a warm touch seemed to envelop his thoughts as an unexpected reply came,
"And You will always have my help!"
Yudhistira finally looked at Krishna and smiled.
A/N - Hope you like the chapter.