AN AUTANMAMA BOOKS COLLECTION📕📚
WRITTEN BY: Khadyjatt
SCOURGE
CHAPTER 54
3weeks, consecutive 3weeks he was out, his mum would cry, other days she could blame his dad some days she just stay quiet wondering what her son fate might be, his friends always hanging around restless as ever so his dad and younger brother,
They just drove inside the hospital compound when an excited Ahmad walk down the porch with the news they all been waiting for, Malik gained consciousness yesterday nigh he even spoke but he was put to rest again his first words was his wife name and even though Ahmad didn't mentioned that to his parent he knows for sure it would be a chaos when Malik is fully recover, he hasn't seen falak around no one brought about her so he isn't sure if she's still in the country or she left for Jordan but whatsoever is the choice she make it's her own problem to deal with.
"So what did the doctors said?
When is he waking up?"his mum ask staring at the peaceful face sleeping calmly one can never guess he's so mean and malicious.
"Soon they said,
They sedate him but in an hour or 2 he would be awake."Ahmad say glancing at his best friend mubeen who's scrolling through his phone.
There's a brewing tension already he could feel and sense it that when Malik gain consciousness it's gonna be a blast between the two.
"Did he speak when he was awake?"his mum ask and Ahmad shake his head.
"No,
He was barely awake though."
His parent left the hospital room, the two seems to have sort out there difference perhaps malik condition is the ticket to there own forever love story continue.
"Any information about her?"Ahmad ask and mubeen looks up from his phone screen.
"Fu'ad said she isn't in the house,
She's not at uncle muhammad's house so maybe she's in Jordan or whatever,
I don't give a f***k he created the mess when he recover he sort it out himself."mubeen say and remove the cigarette from his pocket and leave the hospital room making Ahmad to blow out some air out of his mouth and also left the room.
He barely exit the the building when the doctor called him back that Malik is awake, they did some examination and took his blood for sample, he said not to let his parent know he's awake so it's just him and Ahmad the intensifying throbbing of his head doesn't help how grouchy he is.
"Where's Falak?"he ask looking up Ahmad who's staring at him in boredom, he's elated but at same time pissed, really pissed because Malik seems not to care about his life or health in general, he everyone knows xylazine is a veteran sedative goodness knows if it doesn't affect his health somehow for life.
"What where you thinking?"Ahmad say with a huff.
"Where is my wife?"
"Your wife?
Ohh you finally admitted that you have one?
I don't know that you have a wife....
"Where's falak?"
"I don't know,
She probably left because,
I don't know,
she left."
"Left?
He stay quiet for a while probably trying to process or recollect some memories, he feel the throbbing headache and everything vanishing at once as he sit upright, the hospital room open and mubeen walk in, he look between his two bestfriends with a knitted brow.
"What?"
"Where's Falak?"
"Falak?"mubeen repeat confuse.
"Yes she,
Where's she?"Malik ask and mubeen shrug.
"She left,
Maybe she's in jordan?
I'm not sure,
What is it?"
"Did you people say mean things to her?"
"Mean things?
Look who's speaking about sayin mean things to Falak,
She left because she probably realize you are not worthy of her,
We saying mean things to her we probably learned that from you I guess.........
The door open his parent walk in gaining all three attention, Ahmad excuse himself to answer his no ending ringing phone.
"Where's Falak?"
His parent exchange a look confused.
"Honey,
You need to be okay......
"I'm okay mum,
Where's Falak,
Did you people say anything to her?
"She left.........
"Falak can never leave like that,
What did you say to her?"Malik ask already irritated by everything.
"Stop tryna blame anyone for your predicament,
Everyone was worried about you........
"Worried about me?
I've been living in that house for how many months?
Did you check on me or Look for me?
If anything happened to my wife,
Even a scratch I will hold y'all responsible."he say maliciously removing the drip line from his hand making his mum to cringe at the amount of blood gushing at once.
"You can't blamed anyone for your shit Malik,
Falak left because she wanted to,
She was your wife wasn't she?
Tell me how you've been treating he........
"F***k off Mubeen,
F***k off!"he yell and the atmosphere become dense the tension rising with each breathe exhaling from everyone
You think you know me more than myself?
You do right?
None of you know me,
Hell I don't even know myself ,
I don't know what's over me,
I feel completely fucked up,
No one understand how I feel,
Yes, yes, yes you all care about me y'all do but y'all don't understand me,
Do I care about me?
I don't know I'm in pain and i don't know what it is but every time I'm really hurt not from heartbreak or lack of affection or company,
I feel like disappearing
I don't know how to keep company, I want to be alone but don't want to be left alone,
I've beentaking those pills because I need escape I feel like I'm losing my sanity,
I'm just trying to hold myself but I can't find some f**king peace, did any of the things is say makes sense?
It doesn't right,
so just fucking leave me the fuck alone,
I would rather be all alone than to have fake company."he ranted randomly and stand up but staggered and sit back on the bed as they all stare at him.
"You are depressed."
"Am I?"he ask his dad who make the statement.
"And you are fucking sick mentally for keeping your daughter away from you."
"Malik stop been disrespectful and using profanities."his mum say and he didn't say a word.
"I need to change can you all leave now?"
His parents left and mubeen maintained his position where he was standing by the bed, he grab the joggers and hoodie Ahmad brought yesterday and drop it on the not sparing him a glance.
"You can also leave.........
"I'm going no where."
"It still won't change anything."
"And by now you should understand we do things for you not because we am expect anything from you.
You need help Malik, it's okay to vulnerable we are all human, you are hurting yourself and the people that love you,
Falak.........
"F***k off mubeen,
Leave me the fuck alone I don't want you or anyones advice on what I want to do with my lif..........
"Exactly your problem Malik,
You don't need help, you don't need people to tell you right from wrong,
Life isn't like that, y.......
"Yes everyone was mean to fall but it wasn't intentional we were just worried about your health.......
"Where you?
The last time I checked she always seems to be the one to single person that always showed up when I needed someone the most,
When i walked away that day did you look for me?
I've been by myself for months did you check on me?
But she called countless of times until my phone went off and she came,
She showed up didn't she?
Just don't stress mubeen."he say slipping on th hoodie.
"We are all wrong okay but can you let us help we all are equally responsible to right,
So let us help you find her
will you ?"mubeen say trying to be calm, he hates when Malik act like an idiot just the way he's doing at the moment.
Malik ignored him and put on m the clothes the doctor came and despite protest about his health unstablize he still left the hospital, they first went home there's just a lot to talk about but seems little word to be said, everyone with different thought, until now either of his parent have thought about Falak.
He doesn't know why he's feeling so weak he sat on the bed and massage his throbbing head with a sigh as Ahmad hand him the medication.
"You should have stay,
You ain't doing well dude, you look so fucking pale."
He swallow the medication and lay with his back on the bed staring at the ceiling,
He doesn't know what's over him, he feel so sad at this moment, perhaps he's just over thinking, at times he feels no one can understand the way he feels, he feel so fucked up, Goodness God forbid something bad should happened to falak he would die with guilt.
He hate to admit the fact that Falak presence take his pains away, when she's around him there's just these unexplained peace and he feel safe that terrify him a lot and he couldn't help but vent that frustration by inflicting pain on her thinking maybe he would stop feeling that way.
He's overthinking, perhaps he should just sleep he reach to the drawer bybthbed but the tablet isn't there.
"I need my pills."he say sitting upright and mubeen look up from his phone screen.
"No you don't,
You just took them not even up to an hour."
"Give me my med."
"No"
Malik didn't say a word he just lay back on the bed, like the amount of thoughts racing in his head are countless.
"So there's a flight for 2pm and one for 2am."Ahmad say entering the bedroom.
"The one for 2pm,
I need my pills."he say sitting up right his body where trembling tremendously he's not only pale but he's lost excessive weight, only thing is evident
He's seriously ill but doesn't want to adhere to treatment.
"You do know your condition right with all these things you are doing,
You wanna kill yourself."
"Isn't it better that way if I die,
Who cares about living when there is very little that matters."
"You are killing yourself not dieing,
They are two different thing, Malik you know your health condition you know what the doctor said but dude...........
If you don't know they said you need a transplant because you'd already destroy you liver with drug abused."
"Okay can you give me my pills now?" he ask without a care as they both look at him in disbelief, they hate so much when Malik act so impassive towards sensitive issues especially about his health.
Aside PTSD psychosis Malik was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver few years ago but it wasn't so serious he was placed on strict diet and medication but it's Malik and he always does what he want,
The doctor told them Malik would need a liver transplant or would have to adhere to very healthy lifestyle and take his medication serious.
After a lot of pressure mubeen gave two of the pills to him not because he wants to but malik would end up doing something he wouldn't want, at around 2pm they left, they didn't exchange much word with his parent especially his dad, word cannot explain how much he hate his dad at the moment, he feel so upset and angry at himself to, he thought of all the pains he's inflicted on her and he really hate that he did all that, the 7hours flight wasn't so friendly he was nauseous and extremely tired he needed his pills so badly but either of his best friend refused to subject to his demand.
*********
When they Arrived in Amman his parent went home while he head for his own place, he's jittery, jumpy and stressed out he was quiet all through out the drive home he hoped falak is home, she would be home ofcrse if not his place then his parents she has no where to go, he didn't really think much about her where about he was certain she would be around, she has no one and knowing falak she wouldn't leave just like that or so he thought.
They barely halt in the garage he open the car and throw up, his kneeshit the ground at once as he continuously vomit the blood content out of his mouth, his abdomen is on fire only him can understand the excruciating pain he's going through.
Mubeen passed him the case of water and he gag it and throw spit it out panting heavily, he looks up at mubeen and he offered his hand to help but he decline and stand by himself.
"You need to be in the hospital."Ahmad say as they both look down at the new development in his health.
He ignored them both and head inside the neatly arranged house, he head straight to his bedroom and check all bedrooms before coming downstairs.
"Where are you going to?"mubeen ask but he ignored him and grab the car key from the hook exiting the house.
Ahmad was in a deep conversation probably with his wife but his attention now completely on Malik and he quickly hang up.
"Where are you going to?"
He answer neither of them and climb the car pressing the central lock at once he doesn't want anyone following him around as though he's incapable of taking care of himself, lock on his side the gate was still open so he just drove out of the house.
He drove to the farm house he was certain falak was going going to be there but to his surprise it was empty, though there are few sign that someone was once there he scratch his head frustrated and sat on the chair in the compound.
He feel helpless and exhausted, he sat for a while just thinking about his entire, the lies, the betrayal, the mistakes he can't erased and the consequences which he's always afraid of facing, he mull over things and he realize there's really very little to live for he's never been afraid of him dieing he always look forward to that because his life have no purpose to him at some point he even question the existence of God, the trials of life is like a no ending burden but the worst way of handling it is venting the frustration on some one innocent which he did with falak and she left, she also get tired nobody can understand him he barely understand his own self , he feel so suffocated by everything, after tiredly sitting with no solution he climb the car and head back home with one single question on his mind.
Where is His wife.