Eric insisted on carrying Nora's present-filled bag gallantly, making Martin roll his eyes when he thought no one was looking at him, which made Nora bury half of her face in her scarf to hide her smile, earning herself an eyebrow raised in a silent challenge from him, the effect spoilt by his lips trembling with a suppressed laughter when he noticed that she had noticed.
It only got worse, or better from there, there was no way not to laugh at Daniel and Eric's antics as they played like children on their way towards the town, through the incessant snowfall, turning the descent into a snowball fight. They arrived at Clelia's house laughing and so covered in snow that the old woman almost refused to let them in.
Luckily, she had forgotten to put her make-up on, Nora mused as they were finally allowed to enter after they brushed the snow off each other's clothes and Nora found herself inside Clelia's sitting room, already full of her other invitees, whose eyes were glued to the newcomers as they greeted each other. She would hate it if they, Victoria especially, saw her with a running mascara or a smeared lipstick. This way, the only thing for her to criticise were Nora's blazing cheeks caused by the cold and Martin's closeness, her too bright, excited eyes speaking of feelings she wasn't capable of hiding.
She frowned at Magdalena who had trouble to suppress a laughter at seeing Nora standing between the two brothers before she proceeded to smile at the rest of them, dropping her eyes to the tips of the slippers Clelia chose for her when Victoria did not return her smile.
Martin's arm wrapped around her waist made her feel better, but only slightly. Until he would speak to Victoria directly, Nora's conscience wouldn't be free of the other woman... And she supposed Martin was feeling the same way about Eric... She wanted to scream. Life was unfair; every single gesture created ripples on its surface, strings of responsibilities growing with time. And there was no room for taking false steps, and learning from our mistakes, second chances were too rare... But she was here for the Christmas dinner today, not a philosophy session that was only bound to make her feel pensive, sad, and responsible for her past love, she concluded, as her eyes found Eric's studying her intently.
"Daniel," she whispered, freeing herself from Martin's hold and kneeling in front of the boy who seemed as surprised as she by the amount of attention they were getting, "would you take my presents and put them under the tree? Ask Daddy or Eric should you need help."
The boy nodded happily and ran back into the hall where they had left their coats and shoes while she sneaked out of the room in his wake, heading for the kitchen where she saw Clelia vanish before, leaving the brothers to face the crowd.
Nora insisted on helping Clelia to carry the plates into the sitting room where a long table was placed by the window, inviting everyone to take their seat while she returned with more plates.
She wasn't sure that she appreciated being placed between Martin and Eric, she mused as she finally sat in the place carrying her name, but at least Clelia put Martin on her left, between Nora and herself where she sat at one end of the table, Eric on Nora's right next to Daniel and Lily, and Victoria at the other end. Magdalena, Lino, and their three children occupied the whole opposite side of the table.
Magdalena seemed to be more distracted by Nora's position between Martin and Eric than Nora herself, a thing that Nora found infinitely annoying. She relaxed only when her glass was filled and refilled with wine, and Martin's hand found hers underneath the table.
Her annoyance with her friend returned briefly as she opened her present, sky blue tulle and lace thigh high stockings that set her cheeks ablaze and made her shut the box quickly, refusing to show anyone, thus making their curiosity and teasing remarks multiply.
"I want it to smell like you," Martin whispered in her ear moments later as he wrapped the scarf she had given him around her neck, making her sigh as she banished her wish to be alone with him, to melt into him, to delete the rest of the world.
"Well done, Nora, now he'll want a snow owl. Luckily, we have two veterinarians here who can find him one." Eric's voice pulled her back to reality as he leafed through the Harry Potter books with Daniel, Lily, and the youngest of Magdalena's kids where they sat under the Christmas tree while his eyes were glued to Nora and Martin.
And not only his, Victoria was observing them just as intently from another corner of the room where she seemed to be involved in a conversation with Magdalena and Lino.
Feeling awkward, Nora kissed Martin on the cheek before she whispered in his ear, "Let me check on Clelia. She might need help with the cake."
He sighed but nodded his understanding, then joined Eric and the kids under the Christmas tree while she slipped out of the room, the scarf still around her neck.
"You do know how to complicate your life, girl..." Clelia muttered at seeing her. She was setting the last tulip glasses around a bottle of champagne on a silver tray.
"It's pretty simple, actually, when you take all the complications away," Nora muttered in reply. It really was. She loved Martin and Daniel, full stop. "I'll carry these. You bring the cake."
She reached for the tray and preceded Clelia, who carried her chocolate and caramel cake, out of the kitchen.
The groups had changed in her short absence, she noticed, all the children were gathered together around a game one of them received, with Lino and Magdalena hovering above them, Eric and Victoria sitting together on the sofa, his arm wrapped around her shoulders in somewhat consoling manner and... it took her a moment to locate Martin-- he was standing by the window, half hidden within the crack in the long dark curtains, looking outside while he spoke on the phone.
She just set the tray on the table when she sensed him behind her, his hot breath caressing the side of her neck making her shiver as he whispered, "They found an injured deer in the spa, Alan says it's limping too much to keep up with the herd..."
She couldn't help herself-- How could he turn her legs into jelly with the most... inconsequential whispers?-- she had to lean into him as she replied before he could finish his line, "Off you go. You won't feel happy until you check the poor creature personally."
She felt his arm wrap around her waist from behind, pulling her into him, and she turned around, removing the scarf and wrapping in around his neck.
"Keep warm." She smiled. "Do you want me to take Daniel home?"
"No, he wants to stay with the kids here. And Clelia will keep him happily until I return."
Nora nodded. "I'll just go home when I get bored then."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Nora."
She nodded again, closing her eyes as he kissed her, realising only once he was gone that he had been referring to seeing her at the ball, the ball she was not going to attend.
Well, he would find out, sooner or later, and come to see her after. She shrugged, then set to work, helping Clelia to distribute the plates with generous slices of her cake and glasses filled with champagne.
It was well after nine when Nora decided to go home; after Clelia refused her offer to stay and help clean up once everyone else would be gone.
She didn't need any help, she assured her and so Nora collected her presents-- the silly stockings, a framed picture of Socks the fox from Daniel, an ancient looking book about the castle written in Latin, which would take her weeks to decipher, from Martin, and a pair of slippers and enough yarn to knit a bed cover from Clelia, to make her spend more time at home, as her godmother put it-- and carried her bag, almost fuller than before, to the front door inconspicuously.
Nora stepped into the freezing night alone when no one was looking her way, not desiring another dose of attention like the one she received upon her arrival. She revolved her heated face towards the overcast black sky, feeling tiny snow flakes melt against her skin as she wondered where Martin was at the moment.
Shaking her head, she headed up the road, opting to walk along the row of dark shops and cafés instead of through the desolate park. She was halfway up the castle hill when Eric caught up with her.
"You... just left... without a goodbye..." he panted, out of breath after the jog up the hill. "I meant to walk home with you, we haven't gotten to talk properly yet, and I have a present for you..."
Nora's eyebrows knitted in confusion as she observed him. Just what was this really about?
"Well... you could have given me your present just like the others, right? And I'm sorry for leaving like that, I just wanted to walk home alone."
"May I walk with you?" he asked, his eyes so big and earnest in the silvery shine reaching them from the strong spotlights illuminating the castle that she found herself nodding before her brain caught up with the action. There was something within this new version of Eric that made her alarm bells ring, something she didn't want to deal with now, not in this phase of her relationship with Martin.
Turning away from him, she continued to walk towards the drawbridge, past the stables, Eric close at her side, silent like a shadow. Neither of them spoke until they reached the steps leading to the porch of Nora's cottage.
"Thanks for coming all this way with me. I'll see you around. Good night, Eric," she said, trying to run up the five stairs to detach herself from him. She couldn't understand his mood, and it made her feel uneasy.
However, she was too slow, his hand pulled at her arm, spinning her around before her foot could connect with the first step.
"I haven't given you my present yet," he said, "let us go in..."
Something withing her despised the idea of inviting him in now, alone, at night... the idea felt wrong.
"I'm... sorry, Eric. I don't want you to come in. I'm tired."
"Are you and Martin really together then? I thought Victoria was just making it up, seeing things... You and my brother... You have never looked at him before, and he was love sick with you for so long, you could see no one beyond me..."
Nora gaped at him, at this... almost impolite man whom she... no longer recognised as the kind and gentle boy she had once loved.
"This has nothing to do with you," she said finally, collecting herself. He had been drinking, that was the reason for this behaviour. This wasn't the real Eric.
He shook his head. "I really like you, Nora, it's not too late to take the things between us where..."
She pressed her hands to her ears, turning from his fast, reaching the second step before he caught her again, making her face him one more time.
He pressed a small gift wrapped box in her hand then took a few steps away before she could return it to him.
"I wonder how it would feel, kissing you now, after all these years... Don't you?"
This moment, meeting Eric again and having him return her feelings this time around had still been her secret dream when she returned here a few weeks ago. It was no longer true. Eric belonged in her past.
"No, Eric," she said firmly. "And please, stop behaving like this if you want us to stay friends."
"I don't believe you." His voice trailed after her as she ran up the remaining steps and entered the cottage, shutting the door between them without turning around.
Martin's text, telling her that he was still in the spa, reached her just after midnight, when she finally lay down, his book pressed to chest, Eric's present, unwrapped, stuffed deep inside the drawer of her bedside table. 'Daniel, Lily and Alex insisted on sleeping at Clelia's, and she was happy to have them. Good night, Nora. I miss you.' Nora read.
'Good night, Martin.' She typed, missing him too. More. She loved him. She should tell him the next time she saw him... Or was it too early?
She allowed her thoughts to spin into a web around this conundrum, growing more complicated as memories of all the things happening in her life too fast these days floated to the forefront of her mind and got stuck around it, burying her original thought always deeper until she finally fell asleep.