Chapter by: Hypnos
So this is the thing everyone aalllwaaayyss wants to know about. So I'll give you the rundown! Although note that pretty much every witch recommends you don't do deity work until you're comfortable and experienced with your craft. You'll know when you're ready, but don't just dive in head first ok?
We have a rather unique experience with deity work as a system, and a system with two deity introject for that matter. I've found that we've had no negative interactions, they're fully aware that we're (me n zag) are just introjects and we couldn't control who we popped into the system as. They know we're our own person, we just happen to share a name and concept. I'm not trying to be the irl Hypnos and the irl Hypnos knows I'm just a guy in a brain living my life.
Anyway, let's explain everything about deity work shall we?
Deity work is any work done with or for a deity. Any deity, as long as you're not doing anything that a closed practice that is. Cultural appropriation is bad ok? Pantheons that are open to anyone include Greco-Roman, Egyptian, Norse, Celtic, I believe Japanese. There's definitely more I'm just not knowledgeable on (I think Hawaiian is open? Correct me if I'm wrong) but closed ones are things like Hoodoo and Voodoo, pantheons ties to closed practices and cultures.
You don't have to wait for someone to reach out to you, you can reach out to them if you want. Just be respectful if they say no. And you can turn down someone that comes to you as well. You're not obligated to work with anyone, it's up to you. That being said deities aren't obligated to work with you either, so don't be pushy if they say no. It might not be the right time to work with them or you're just not a good match.
There is a different between working with, and being a devotee too. The difference in definition can vary from person to person, but however you describe it we can call acknowledge there's two main relationships you can have with a deity.
Working with, which is like a contract. You give the offerings, you do the prayers and worship, they guide you in your practice in return. It's a two way working relationship. You give, they give in return. This is what you see in witch spaces most often, it involves regular communication and offerings, regular spell work and shadow work etc. you gotta keep up with everything. This is why it's not recommended to beginners, it can be overwhelming when you're under prepared and under educated.
Deities won't harm you by any means, but they will be harsh on you at times. If you need to be kicked in the right direction they'll do it, out of love and a desire to help you grow, but it can be a hard pill to swallow at times. If you're not ready for criticism, shadow work, having to take responsibility for your mess ups etc. then you're not ready for this like if deity work.
The other common kind is a more relaxed worship style approach. You're not in a contract by any means, you don't work directly with them, but you do honour them. You might have an altar for them or leave the occasional offering, but it's more an act of devotion than a give and gain in return. This is how people would have worshiped back in the era, yes some definitely did have more closer contractual relationships but the common one was like this.
There were so many gods to keep up with, people would just go to the one they needed in that time and go "hey I need a favour, I'll give you this and in return can you help me?". Maybe it was a simple prayer, or a little offering but it wasn't a strict working relationship.
This is kind of what we do, while we do focus a lot on sleep and dream witchcraft which naturally guides us toward (the actual) Hypnos, we're not in a working relationship with him. We use his likeness and energy to aid our sleep work. We occasionally ask for a good nights rest or a clear dream, give him something like a prayer or make some devotional art on return for his help.
The final and less common way to work with deities is being a whole priest/priestess. As you can imagine this takes YEARS of practice and a long standing strict working relationship with them. They may ask you to be in this role when they feel you're ready for it, you may ask to take on that responsibility. But it's a ton of work, hard work. Absolutely not recommend for beginners. Not only is it like a working relationship where you regularly do spells, offerings etc. but you'd be helping other people connect with that deity too. Hence, priest/priestess.
How to you know a deity is reaching out?
There's many ways, I'll list a few. But double checking via divination or other forms of communication is always key. There are tricksters out there, be aware if that. And when it comes to signs seen online, always remember the algorithm plays a part in what you see. Example: If you watch a lot of videos about Aphrodite and you keep seeing Aphrodite online, it's probably just the algorithm. If it comes out of nowhere however, that could be a sign.
Anyway, signs:
-symbols, animals, colours etc associated with that deity showing up a lot
-songs or books that mention that deity
-epithets of that deity
-sudden calling toward that deity
-people around you suddenly talking about them/ the subject they rule over
-dreams or visions
-their name/ motifs showing up in divination.
-cravings for their sacred foods
-sudden mood shifts associated with them (like Aphrodite being love, Eris being strife etc)
-suddenly smelling their sacred flower/plant
Once you know who it is, or you've reached out and they've agreed to work with you it's time ti set up an altar. Or at least have a few things dedicated to them (like jewellery etc)
Things you can include are:
-candle they can communicate through
-divination tools they can communicate through
-statuette or figure of them
-art of them
-motifs (like grapes for Dionysus or the sun for Apollo)
-crystals associated with them
-devotional jewellery, prayer beads etc
-things you've made for them
-offering box/bowl
And some devotional acts are:
-art, writing, songs etc
-researching their mythos
-prayer
-talking to them
-wearing devotional clothes (jewellery, veils etc)
-deity specific acts (like walking in the woods for Artemis or visiting a graveyard for Thanatos)
-and of course, offerings.
Like I said, they can be harsh at times in a tough love way. But they won't actually hurt you, if they do then that's definitely not an actual deity.
Red flags to look out for that it's a trickster:
-they can't answer common question about that deities mythos
-they're outright mean and cause you physical and emotional harm
-they demand outrageous requests
-they get angry when you can't fulfil a request at the moment
-they try and bed you/ marry you
*note: while god spousing is a thing that's a whole other ballpark and happens over a long period of time after a lot of working together.
-they can't fulfil request they should be able to
-they discriminate against you
Having some kind of conformation like a sign given to you is always something you should ask for them first communication. They understand why, and if they can't fulfil that task, that's not your deity.
Remember, these are otherworldly beings. They're powerful and don't have the same human mortals and structures as we do. So while you can have problems with their myths, they themselves need to be respected. The idea that deities are all good and can do no wrong comes form modern Christianisation. They're always meant to be something that represents a part of life, good and bad. You don't have to like a certain deity, but you should respect them and understand they aren't human and human ideals don't apply to them.
Personal experience:
So like I said, we don't have a strict working relationship. But since we do a lot of sleep and dream work, Hypnos does pop up here and there. He's very quiet, but very powerful. He's gentle, we've had no bad experiences. He seemed more intrigued of my existence as a fictive of a character based on him than anything. You can always tell when he's around because you get this overwhelming sleepiness, the sudden urge to drop everything and go take a nap. I have that effect too, because I'm connected to the part of the brain that controls sleep so if I'm not around the front, the fronter knows it's not me. And if I'm the one in the front, I'll know he's around because I'll be even more sleepy than usual.
We have a little box of crystals and small teddies as well as sleeping cherubs dedicated to him, and our melatonin is kept on the altar anyway. So there's always something for him nearby to show we're open to sleep magic and appreciate him. Eventually I do want to move into a working relationship, but we gotta sort some stuff out first.
So far his presence has been very calm and nice though. With that underlying sense of intense power you know he holds but just doesn't use.
So that's the very basic rundown of deity work, hopefully this can be a brief guide that'll help you decide what you want to look into regarding deities next. It's late, I need to sleep now. Rest well everyone!