Sleepless nights were common in their household. Someone was always screaming. Whether it be Thalia, waking from a horrid nightmare, or Daisy, just a baby who cried because she was hungry, needed to be changed, or because she'd been awoken by her caretakers screams.
When those nights of full sleep came, she found it was hard. Her body was on routine to be awake during random hours, ready to spring into action at the drop of a hat.
That was how she found herself staring at the wall, arms crossed over her body and awaiting that telltale cry from the baby's room.
Joel slept like a log beside her, bare back to her and snuggled under the heavy duvet as the spring air blew in through the open window.
Thalia smiled softly at the sight, fighting the urge to run her hand over his surely warm skin. It was real, that was what she had to tell herself. This was no sick joke or a pipe dream, this was her new life.
She's left behind the blood baths and grueling environment for safety. The cruel world is gone for one with cherry pastries and children going to school. People working together to build something instead of tearing it down.
It was no easy adjustment because there was no adjustment. The brunette had completely convinced herself that she would never become used to this way of life. It felt like a blanket on her mind, something that covered her from thinking of the cold, hard truth.
Joel slept easier, she didn't. Ellie was slowly making friends, she wasn't. Joel was working, she wasn't. Maria was raising a baby seemingly flawlessly, she wasn't.
Thalia squeezed her body tighter, trying to rid herself of that permanent ache inside of her chest. The same one that had resided there ever since the hospital, when they'd gotten home that night and she realized what she'd done.
Splat.
The color of Marlene's blood covered her eyesight, the sight of her brains covering the garage floor after she'd so mercilessly murdered her.
She fucking deserved it.
Thalia shut her eyes, wincing at the thought that she found too true. Marlene needed to die for them to be here today, a somewhat happy and cohesive family.
Creak.
The woman sat up in bed, eyes darting to the cracked door. The floorboards in this house were noisy, the last time someone lived inside of it was in the winter when they'd come to visit. Before that, there was no one.
She tried to peer through the crack but found nothing until a light down the hall flicked on, an orange haze basking the hallway.
Quietly, she flipped the covers from her body, grabbing Joel's switchblade off of her nightstand. Her feet hit the floor, slowly creeping towards their bedrooms door.
Another sound filled the air, a gasp. Thalia rushed down the hall, knife in hand before bursting the door open. It crashed against the wall and she shrieked upon what she saw, "Jesus Christ!"
"What the fuck? You could've killed me!" Her jaw went slack, "What are you doing, Ellie?" She exclaimed, voice still hushed. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Scaring the shit out of me." The teen rolled her eyes, the sass practically radiating from her. In her arms was Daisy, tiny fist in her mouth. After more inspection, she saw a large streak of spit running down Ellie's cheek, glistening in the lamp light.
"She get you?" Thalia flipped the knife back, allowing herself to breath, setting it down on the small table by the door to the baby's room.
"Yeah. Little shit rubbed it all over my new shirt." The small whine in her voice made the woman chuckle, shaking her head as she watched the two, fitting like two puzzle pieces.
"I thought we talked about calling her little shit." Ellie adjusted Daisy in her arms, hiking her higher up on her hip, "Well, it fits. Speaking of which..." As her arms extended it was now Thalia's turn to roll her eyes, "Maybe it does..."
She swiped the baby from her arms, moving to lay her down on the changing table. "Joel still asleep?" Instead of responding she left him to answer, his snores radiating throughout the second floor of their home.
"Shocker..." Ellie sat down in the rocking chair placed in the room, elbows on her thighs and hands tightly clasped together. She didn't fancy watching Daisy's diaper being changed, a rather messy process.
The teen had been covered in blood and spit but baby shit was not something she could handle. Before speaking she used her jacket sleeve to wipe the trail of fluids from her cheek, "How's Maria?"
"As good as any new mom could be. She's exhausted but can't seem to miss a meeting on the council." She nodded, listening to the elder's words with a faint smirk.
It faded upon hearing Thalia's question, "What happened to tonight?" Despite feigning stupidity, Thalia saw right past it, "Dunno what you're talking about."
"I may be old, Ellie, but I'm not stupid... you were going to stay at Cat's tonight." Silence filled the soft pastel room as Ellie pondered what she should say. Did she tell her the truth? Reveal her true feelings?
No.
"Nothing- happened." Her voice was soft, a murmur in the space they were currently sharing, "She's a sweet girl. At- was it lunch? No, breakfast- she was showing me some of her sketches."
Ellie hummed, her amusement faked, "She's a really good artist... kind of like someone else I know..." Thalia peered over her shoulder, shooting a suggestive eyebrow raise to her teen.
Despite being annoyed with the pestering, she smirked, rolling her eyes for a second time that night.
"She's got some cool tattoo ideas... might commission her for one." The brunette chuckled, shaking her head as she finished changing the diaper, pressing a feather light kiss on her baby's nose.
"You want to get- a tattoo?" Ellie looked up at her, eyes widened. "Yeah. Why not?" The teen shrugged, watching with curious eyes as Thalia picked up Daisy, placing her inside her crib once more.
Once she was settled, a blanket placed upon her tiny body, eyes fluttering, Thalia faced Ellie, "Talk to me." She chuckled, "About what?"
"About anything. This has been hard for all of us."
Beneath her breath, she mumbled, "Easy for you to say..."
"Don't do that to me, Ellie. You, out of everyone, should know why this has been so difficult." Their eyes met, a brief moment before Ellie's flickered down, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You hate strangers just as much as I do. This- is terrifying for the both of us." A moment passed, she knew what she was poking at but she didn't want to go there. She never, ever wanted to go back there.
"It's just easier for you." Thalia crossed her arms, leaning her right hip against the wall of Daisy's crib, "How come?"
"You're... you- and I'm me." She felt her brows furrow, confusion clear on her face, "So? You being you is what makes you, you. A badass little girl who anyone should kill to be friends with and if they can't see that... then fuck them."
"M'not a little girl." She exasperated, voice a mere whisper. Despite sensing her annoyance, Thalia didn't budge, "You are to me."
"You just don't fucking get it!" Her snapping had the air leaving the room, the spring breeze halting when she'd shouted. "Then help me to understand, Ellie. We are a team, you and me. Us and Joel and Daisy. It's us against the world, like it always has been."
"Some team we are." Ellie stood, the chair rocking gently as she did do. Without a care in the world she stomped down the hallway, footsteps heavy on the creaky wood.
Thalia winced as her bedroom door slammed shut, the lock clicking into place soon after. Her eyes drifted to Daisy who had yet to move in her sleep sated state. Her body did not move nor flinch and for that the woman was grateful.
"Teenagers, am I right, sweetie?" Her words were unanswered and she too left the room, shutting the lights off and leaving the door cracked as she ventured back to her safe space.
She shuffled into the master bedroom, settling back into her old spot, arms wrapped around her body and covers over her legs.
"How much of that did you catch?" The snoring had stopped, his relaxed muscles now rigid, "Enough." A sigh left her plush lips, hands wiping at her tired and sunken in eyes, "I just can't- fucking win. No matter what I do it's never good enough."
He knew she wasn't just talking about the moody teenager. She was talking about life, specifically life in Jackson. Joel didn't dare to touch on that subject though, not in the middle of the night.
"M'sorry. I- fuck..." She flipped over, dramatically, throwing the covers over her shoulders and facing her back towards him, eyes still open.
Her husband knew better than to leave her like this, alone and isolated in their own home.
Slow and warm arms wrapped around her body, healing her loneliness and soul all with one tug. Joel dragged her towards him, nuzzling his nose into her neck. Her scent of lavender tickling his sense of smell.
"I love you..." Her soft words began to fade into the darkness of their room, the bloodied thoughts she held as well, "I know..."