"When life leads us down to unknown streets, within a heartbeat we can tell whether it holds the promise of love or the burden of lifelong regrets."
Seven Years Ago
September 23, 2017
Samantha's Diary Page no. 221
To my dear self,
I used to believe that I'd be forever alone, without any lovable thing, without friends, just as I had been for most of my life. It's ironic, isn't it? Considering my father's wealth, though he's not incredibly affluent. Despite that, I never attended a traditional school. School, for me, existed within the walls of my home. I was home-schooled, right up to my senior high school graduation this year.
But, things have changed since coming here, and I wanted to capture these feelings on paper.
A few weeks ago, I was desperately trying to escape, thinking this place was just another prison, much like the one I called home.
But no, it's more like a palace, and I, surprisingly, feel like a princess, a real-life Snow White here.
For the very first time, I've made friends: Denver, Felix, and... Ash... well, I'm not entirely sure if I can label him as my friend just yet.
There's something about him that both intrigues and confounds me. whenever I think of him these days, I get this strange fluttery feeling in my stomach that makes me queasy.
Strangely, I've grown to like this unfamiliar sensation, despite its unsettling nature.
I can't recall the last time I laughed or smiled freely, but here, I find myself laughing every day and smiling through the night.
No one restricts me from doing anything here. I'm not made to feel inferior because of my gender.
I secretly love it when Ash praises my abilities. But I can't let on that his words affect me. He's always doing things, like making breakfast in the morning, even though the thought of breakfast makes me want to vomit. I mean, who can stomach such a heavy meal in the morning?
I find myself liking it when he glances at me during our workouts. And oh my, I wish to touch those abs and ask if they're real or just a Photoshop illusion!
When I first saw him at the altar, I thought he was just like those other men who believe women exist solely to stay in their shadow for protection, satisfy their sexual desires, and give birth to babies - lots of babies to continue the family lineage and fuel never-ending power struggles.
But now, when I don't see him at home some nights, I can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. I've asked Denver about this and he says that Ash is a man and he has needs. And I understand what he means.
Perhaps he has a girlfriend, or maybe he's just like Denver, who sleeps with a new woman every night.
Honestly, there are times when I think of Denver as a bit of a ladies' man. He even flirts with me occasionally. In the beginning, I thought of him as a douchebag, but now I've come to view him as a good friend, albeit one with some bugs in his personality. But that's alright; no one in this world is without flaws.
But Felix. He's different. He's not as stoic as Ash or as wild as Denver. He's kind, and at times, I think the mafia and the underworld aren't the right places for someone like him. He reminds me so much of Miguel.
God, I miss him terribly! I haven't seen him in nearly a month and a half, but we stay in touch through phone calls. He constantly warns me not to trust anyone here, no matter how well they behave in front of me. He promises to find a way to set me free from this place. I hope he doesn't do anything foolish; he's just fourteen.
But the thought of leaving this place one day now ties a knot in my stomach. It makes me sick.
I know I'll miss this place, my new friends, and more than anything else... I'll miss Ash.
His presence is a constant source of fascination.
I'll miss watching him work out in the gym, observing him swim in the pool secretly from my window, challenging him in sword fights and teasing him, irritating him, defeating him in video games, enjoying his cooking, just being around him, and... everything... in between.
I think of him as a coconut; tough on the outside but soft within.
But what I'd love more than anything is to know him better, to spend time alone with him, to look deeply into his mesmerizing gray eyes, to touch his rough skin and feel the rhythm of his heartbeat, to touch...to touch his lips and...
Stop! What are you even thinking? Hold your horses, Samantha Lewis!
I just hope that no one ever discovers the words I've penned in these pages.
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⁕ 𝖠𝗌𝗁 𝖣𝖾'𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗂𝗌 ⁕
I had started feeling that something had eluded all of us, hidden beneath the surface.
There was only one way to find out whether Jane was truly my Samantha or not. It could be a shot in the dark, but after years of living my life in darkness without her, I was prepared to do anything.
Ding dong!
I stood at her gate, tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for her to open the door. There was a multitude of questions swirling in my mind, questions I needed answers to, questions that eluded my comprehension.
"Hello, Mr. Jackson!" She appeared taken aback, as though my visit had caught her off guard. "What brings you here?"
"Hello, Ms. Walker... I was concerned about your well-being, especially after what happened last night," I explained.
She stood at the entrance, holding the door partially open, allowing only her form to be visible. Was she hiding something?
"Um... yes, I did wake up with a headache this morning, but I'm feeling better now. Thank you for checking up on me," she responded, appearing nervous, her words clipped, as if she wished to keep our conversation brief.
"Aren't you going to invite me in?" I inquired, hoping to uncover whatever it was she seemed to be hiding. Perhaps, inside her home, I'd find more clues that could lead me closer to the truth.
"Ah, yes, please do come in," she said, opening the door wider and stepping aside. "I apologize, Mr. Jackson; I completely forgot to invite you inside," she added, following me.
"No need to apologize," I replied, scanning my surroundings once I stepped into her home.
"What would you like to drink? Tea or coffee?" Jane inquired politely.
Being under the same roof with her, just a few inches away, felt like standing in a meadow surrounded by exquisite flowers. The scent of her body brought back memories I had long forgotten since Samantha.
Ugh, Focus Ash!
"Actually, I wanted to discuss about the last night," I replied, closing the gap between us as I stood near the couch.
She looked at me, her expression a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. "What about it?"
It seemed my suspicion was correct. She either genuinely didn't remember anything from last night or was playing her cards very close to her chest. My eyes drifted to two empty wine glasses on the kitchen counter. I wondered if there was someone else in the house, hidden away from view.
"Could I take you out for lunch?" I asked.
"Huh?..."
"I'm quite hungry, and I know a nice place nearby. We can continue our conversation over lunch," I proposed, maintaining eye contact with her.
She hesitated for a moment. "Okay, let me change, and then we can go," she agreed, picking up her coat from the sofa and heading toward her room. "Please make yourself comfortable, Mr. Jackson," she called out, locking her bedroom door behind her.
As I waited, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was much more to this situation than met the eye.
I looked around her house, searching for any clues. I checked her drawers, the kitchen cabinets, and even peered out the window, wondering if anyone might be hiding there.
"What are you gazing at through the window?" I heard Jane's heels tapping.
I turned, and oh, she was breathtaking. Her lightly curled hair, golden eyes, rosy lips, and the dimples that appeared whenever she spoke pulled me closer to her, like a moth to a flame.
Despite a hundred rational reasons telling me that Jane couldn't possibly be my Sam, as I drew closer to her, my heart screamed loudly in the recesses of my mind that this woman before me was indeed Samantha.
But how was that even possible? I had witnessed that bomb blast with my own eyes.
"Erm... nothing. Shall we go?" I straightened my suit, and she nodded, saying, "Sure."
The drive to the restaurant was filled with an uncomfortable silence. We both seemed at a loss for words, and it struck me that Samantha used to be always chatty during our dates.
The restaurant was relatively quiet, which was a relief.
"Erm... do you recall anything from last night?" I asked after we had placed our orders.
She appeared uneasy but replied, "I'm not sure. I was with Taylor, and then I stepped outside the club to take an urgent call. That's when some strangers blocked my path and... they tried to molest me. When I resisted and slapped one of them, he shoved me hard, and my head hit the wall... and after that... I don't remember a thing." Her voice quivered with sincerity as she spoke.
"But what baffles me is... why did I wake up at your place this morning? I wanted to ask you, but you weren't home, and my headache was unbearable. I didn't have my medicine, so I went back... Could you please explain why I was at your house, Mr. Jackson?" She stared directly into my eyes as she asked.
"I was also at the club last night. I arrived a bit late. You were..." I hesitated for a moment, choosing to delay that part of the story until later.
The waiter arrived with our food, and I decided it was best to wait until we had finished eating. "Let's enjoy our meal first, and afterward, there's something I'd like to show you. It should address all your questions. I hope you don't have any prior commitments today." I continued, slicing my steak with the knife.
"Ah, okay," she replied.
As we finished our meal and I was settling the bill, my phone buzzed with a message from Denver.
'Ash, you were correct. There was indeed someone in Jane's apartment. I spotted him driving after you and Jane left. The photos aren't crystal clear, but I suspect it might be Jane's boyfriend, Sebastian Duncan. Do you want me to tail him?'
-- Denver
'Gather more information about this Sebastian Duncan. Who is he? What has he been up to in the past four years? Where was he before these four years? Family? Friends? Anything and everything you can find' I messaged him back.
"Shall we go, Mr. Jackson?" I hurriedly pocketed my phone and responded, "Of course, after you."
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I know this chapter was slow but I needed to set up a scene for the upcoming chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.
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Happy reading🌸∽Nisha