You stared at him, and he stared back. His hands slide up your hips to your waist, keeping a firm hold on you. Your eyes darted over his shoulder, unsure where to look.
"You're not a child Sarge, I shouldn't have to sit you on my lap for supervision - do I look like Santa to you?" He growled.
You glanced at him, eyes glazing across the features of his you could see or make out under his balaclava.
"Don't answer that" He said sharply with a glare, narrowing his eyes as you observed him. You shrugged and looked past his shoulder once more. Your arms swayed loosely by your sides, a little confused about where to put them. You watched as Ghost unbuckled his main belt before buckling it back up around you both.
....
The rotors had become a soft hum, the ears becoming used to the sound as the helicopter glided smoothly through the warm clear night. No weather or turbulence to make you worry. You had looked back at Ghost at one point, finding that he was asleep. It'd been around 5 hours and your fear refused to let you sleep.
...
Soothing songs from Ghosts Playlist came through the headphones and you sat completely still, trying to move as little as you could even when you had an itch. You felt obligated to stay still even more now that he was asleep. His chest moved in a rhythmic and steady beat as he slept. Slowly you began to feel more tired.
You'd doze off but wake up seconds later as your head would drop. You did feel tired, ever since earlier that day. It had left you exhausted, still unable to care. You didn't want to think but you had nothing to keep you from your thoughts.
It was infectious, spreading throughout your veins making your eyelids heavy. You shifted gently, trying not to wake Ghost as you leaned forward, your idea was you could lean against the seat behind him for support but even while sitting on his lap, it hurt your neck trying to crane it into the uncomfortable position over his shoulder.
You sighed, gently resting your head against his shoulder. Your head becoming too weighted for you to hold. You kept yourself up, not pressing against him. Trying not to get into his personal space or feel awkward in general about the position. Knowing that when you finally did doze off, your weight would be against him.
At least you could prevent it in the meantime. You thought climbing off but the belt around you both prevented that. You relaxed yourself slowly as your head got lighter. Your breathing becoming softer as your chest moved in time, you blinked slowly each time finding it harder to open your eyes.
You concentrated, the heavy sleep bags under your eyes feeling like they pressed into your skin. The way it felt so relaxing when you shut your eyelids. How your soft breathing through your nose was like a little hum the music softly inserting into the melody as your body grew sleepy.
You shut your eyes, one final last time before entering the void of sleep.
——————
You slept soundly but lightly, any sudden movements or noises woke you up. You were on edge, waiting for the worst to happen. Like an excited child unable to fully sleep because something is happening the next day expect; this was fear holding you. Trapping you in a cage and it wouldn't let you out until you were off the helicopter.
——————
While you slept, the ride was smooth. You didn't dream, just blank and black in your tired mind. Price had woken up, used to the short amount of sleep on missions, he was one to be prepared. Your mind had awoken a few times to hushed conversation, but you ignored it and went back to sleep.
You wondered how you could sleep so much and still be so tired. Maybe it was stress keeping your brain awake but your body asleep.
—————
Price woke up, stretching, making use of the minimal space he had to do so. His fingers slid across the brim of his hat and adjusted it as he fixed his posture. He glanced out the window, finding the sky barely awake painted in deep dark blue, stars slowly fading beneath its converting color no longer welcome when the sun would arrive.
His eyes shifted to Soap, his head to the side as the belt supported him. His mouth was slightly agape as he snored at an even tone. Price stretched his fingers, popping his knuckles as they came back to his control. His eyes shifted from Soap to Ghost and you.
He raised an eyebrow to himself, studying the scene as his lips turned upwards, substituting for a chuckle. You slept soundly, chest barely moving as you slept peacefully, unheard breaths from your nose. His eyes glazed along the shared buckle, coming to the obvious conclusion that you had tried to jump once again.
'Crazy' He thought, his lips silently shifting as he mouthed the words he thought. You looked almost uncomfortable, your head turned away from Price as you slept on Ghost's shoulder. Your knees bent on either side of Ghost, one of your hands raised to his shoulder your cheek gently resting half on it, like a pillow.
Your other arm was loosely dangling near the side by the buckle of the belt. Your body relaxed limply, pressed against Ghost. Price's eyes shifted to Ghost who was remarkably poise yet stiff even in defiance of being asleep. His posture straight, head held against the seat looking as if he was awake. His closed eyes however, told a different story.
Ghosts hand was placed on the small of your back and the other rested on your knee. Price pressed his lips into a thin line, a cold hearted man like Ghost had never looked so - caring? He shifted with a wince, his tailbone numb. He knew better than that, Ghost was only doing what was for the team. Even if you realized it or not you had an important role in this mission.
They needed you, besides he didn't like losing a teammate no matter who it was. Price wanted his team alive no matter who they were, if he was assigned with them they needed to work together. He pulled out a folder, filled with information, maps, and codes about the enemy base they were heading too.
They had to figure the best way to get in and out, the route they'd take and where they would be positioned. He picked up a red pen, circling places and labeling them. Cameras, traps, alarms etc. He had to make sure they went by undetected. He knew the team was quick, thinking fast when they are confronted with an obstacle.
Price was at this for an hour or so before hearing a soft morning from Soap, he looked up from under his hat and gave a nod. His eyes shifted out the window, seeing the sky splashed with the tropical colors of a sunrise. An intro for the sun, announcing its presence to those it shined over.
Price watched as Soap looked at you and Ghost. He looked back at Price with raised eyebrows and his lips upturned in the corners. He whispered across, his accent thick as he adjusted his uniform. "Props to' em" his grin widened "takes real courage to jump from a helicopter" Price chuckled softly glancing at the two.
He and Soap had no clue really, what happened to you. But they both understood not to pester or prod, all that mattered was you were here and heading to the mission as planned. The team came first but the mission was a close second. Personal problems had to be pushed back, dealt with later.
Being on task force 141 meant giving yourself away in many forms. Life and death, struggles and challenges. You had to overcome to move forwards, an obstacle doesn't move for you, you have to move it yourself. You needed strength, mentally and physically.
That was something that went by unspoken, a silent fact that didn't need to be heard to be understood. Here, people depended on you. You have to put yourself on the line to help others, to save a life sometimes you must take one. It's just how it works, doesn't need to known it needs to be understood.
Price handed over some documents to Soap that he had made a few changes too here and there. Asking his thoughts, when you had a team you include them. You can't do things your own way, for things to operate smoothly you had to do things other ways. Good judgment came before preference.
Over the still and silent half hour, Price had checked on the pilots, gathering intel about location, distance and reports overall. The sky had never lit to the bright blue and instead stopped at a depressing grey hue, soft whistles of wind against the helicopter. It was only supposed to get worse but Price had trust in the pilots.
They were experienced and trained, there were always alternative plans for any disasters that might've occurred. Soap and Price worked silently, glancing up every so often as you shifted. Ghost was still, uncanny but not surprising. Like a dead body, but the soft heave of his chest gave sign of life.
A sudden jolt of the helicopter made Price look up, the soft crackling of static as pilots came through comms apologizing for the turbulence, he made eye contact with Soap before movement made them look over.
Your eyes snapped open at the Jolt, immediately you started to push on Ghost's shoulders trying to move, escape the buckle with no plan. Your body wasn't awake but you felt a million bolts of energy in your head, focusing all into your bouncing thoughts. The panic rising like acidic vomit, coming up your throat as your chest burned.
You couldn't escape, your mind was so frantic the belt left your mind. You didn't know what you were doing, your mind refusing to work with your body. Scrambling as your breathing raised, hitching and rigid draining your lungs as they pumped, begging to be reset with an inhale.
You moved your head, eyes darting about, things becoming blurry as you continued to squirm. You wanted off, out. The fact you were miles up in the air slipping your mind. The hushed voices of comfort from Soap and Price didn't even registered, blocked out by a flashbacks.
You grunted, panting as you recoiled, wriggling about like a crazed person. "Rookie calm down" You heard Ghost say, but you didn't. Your body wouldn't, your mind wouldn't. You were shaking, trembling against the belts as your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes filling with anxiety as memories flashed through your head.
You started to pant, air not reaching your lungs as you grunted in distress a soft hitch in desperation to be free. Another jolt from the wind made it worse, your eyes widened, head whipping back and forth as you shifted and turned. Your headphones flung off awhile back, from the constant thresh of your body.
"Rookie cut it out" Ghost growled, his voice harsher and more demanding, slicing its own path through your thoughts. No you wouldn't, you had to get off. He didn't understand, you needed to get off! Your hands fumbled about, unable to get a grasp on anything around you. You gasped, forcing air down your pipes to keep your racing heart going
"Rookie please!" Ghost grunted, his voice with a slight hint of desperation, something that seemed impossible. Your shock didn't even make an appearance, lasting less than half a second before being whipped up and whirled into the abyss of your deafening thoughts. You kept looking for an escape, ignoring the words Soap and Price spoke.
A hard grip on your hips made you wince, holding you still with strength larger than yours. "Stop it!" You seethed, glaring at Ghost as your hands immediately started on trying to pry his hands off. His glare was menacing, threatening and boiling with anger as he spoke through gritted teeth. "You stop" his accent heavily pigmented his spoken words.
You ignored him, hands getting to the point of clawing at him, his gloves weakening your attempts at freedom. You grunted, eyes slanted in a hateful glare. "Let go!" You managed to say despite your lack of air, was it anger or panic you felt? Your mind was indecisive, changing your mood back and forth like this was a game.
A small amount of turbulence came through and you choked back a gasp as you looked up towards the ceiling, then windows, floor, and seats. Your eyes did not linger, they snapped back and forth as your chest tightened. Your fists balled as you hit at Ghost's hands, seemingly unphased as his grip never weakened.
You tugged desperately at his uniform sleeve, trying to make him let you go. Acting on impulsive, your mind wasn't even thinking ahead, just in the moment. His grasp on you so tight it hurt you, feeling like it was bruising. "Let me go!" You said angrily, using your might to try pushing his arm away.
A sudden clasp on your wrist and then your other made you struggle more, you looked across at Soap who held them, his face a mixture of determination and sympathy. You couldn't do much anymore, you locked gaze with Soap and for once your eyes didn't dart away. This time they hovered, his pupils undilated. Calm and steady.
.... you huffed gently.
You studied, finding them intriguing as they contrasted against his rough skin. They were light, a bright but dull blue. Speaks of various blues and greys streaked across his iris. A faded scar cutting through his eyebrow and starting back up under his eye. You blinked, your mind occupied. Never had you been so focused, not on one's eyes anyways.
The way they remained calm, his lips pressed into a thin line. Your eyelids lowered, your pupils dialted as your breathing slowed. Your vision tracing along the outlines of the pattern around his pupil, he stayed still. Aware of your fixation, the way it was helping you relax little by little. You liked them, how they seemed so bright against the color of his skin, his hair, the roughness of his face the almost invisible blemishes of war scattered across.
His focus was uncanny, his worn gloves tight around your fragile wrists the tips of his exposed fingers meeting back with his thumb, the width of your wrist tiny enough for him to wrap his hands around. Your eyes flinched, eyelids fluttering as you came back to yourself. You felt a deep resentment for yourself.
Hating the fact you got so worked up over this. You felt as if your image was weak. You never had outbursts, barely showed emotion, you were cold, distant, unbothered. But as soon as a helicopter or heights comes up you crumble into a mess, you hated that. Embarrassed and ashamed of yourself.
You felt like an uncontrollable kid, in the moments it seemed so necessary but when you calmed down it was just embarrassing for yourself. You cringed, as Soaps grip loosened on your wrists, letting them go as he waited till you looked away to know that it was alright for him to do the same. Your gaze dropped, you felt like a let down.
"You alright there Rook?" Price asked and you nodded slowly, he shifted his eyes away not wanting you to feel humiliated. Soap doing the same as he picked up his paper, glancing back once with a concerned look. You sighed, heart rate returning, lungs refilling, mind slowing. You felt clammy and uncomfortable, overheating in your uniform.
You shifted your postion, avoiding Ghosts gaze. His hands still a tight grip on your hips, you closed your eyes. You weren't crazy, uncontrollable, you'd never had outbursts before. You didn't understand it either, you hadn't stepped foot near a helicopter since. You had no clue what would happen to your body.
"You can let go" You muttered under your breath to Ghost, keeping your eyes fixated on the window looking out. When his hands didn't move you felt slightly agitated, you huffed and repeated yourself but still he didn't move. You glared at him, the embarrassment washing away as your anger came forth.
He was already looking at you, his eyes emotionless and flat. "You can let go now" You said once again, but slower as if he couldn't understand. His glare narrowed, only he could do the most simple gesture and immediately change his demeanor. "I'm not going to jump" You said, maybe that was why he wouldn't let go. He stayed silently.
You kept your voice steady and low going unheard by Soap and Price with their headsets on plus the rotors. You grabbed at his hands once more, trying to force them off instead but he didn't budge. "I will" He spoke finally. You looked up at him. "Good" You said your eyebrows still furrowed angrily.
"In a moment" He said. You groaned like a whiney child but didn't argue, atleast he would let go. You looked over his shoulder feeling his eyes still on you. Shifting slightly to get comfortable, you felt his grip tightened on your hips, which made you wince shooting him a glare. His eyes immediately left yours and you frowned. He never looked away first.
It left your mind without a second thought, annoyed and in slight pain at his grip. When would he let go, you were getting frustrated. You tugged at his hands, trying to at least lessen his grip on you. "Sir that's starting to hurt as well get on my nerves," You said frustration mixing in with your voice.
"That's your - own fault, .. that I have to supervise you," He said back, a few strains as he spoke. You sighed, glancing at Soap for help but finding him occupied. "Trust me" You grumbled shuffling a little to reach the belt. That's when you heard it, a very light but almost unnoticeable hitch in his breath.
Under his balaclava, you could tell that lips were slightly parted, but the gasp wasn't what made you stop moving. It was the low soft groan that slipped from his lips. You froze, you felt him tense too knowing that you heard him. There was a difference between his groans, its usually how he communicated. A toned grunt to give way his emotions.
You asked him something he grunted, easy to tell if it was a yes or no. This groan was different, something that he didn't mean to let out. Something that was strained as if he was silently battling it inside. You sat still, mind overthinking. Maybe it was just you, but the way he had frozen too confused you.
Now you both sat in an awkward still silence, unnoticed by Soap and Price. "Your knee is stabbing me" He said with a low growl, his teeth gritted. You felt like an idiot then, why had your mind gone to that of all things. "Your knee" He repeated, stopping your train of thought.
You moved back, having moved forward left you limited space, so your knee must've been hurting him, that's why he grunted. You weren't one to dwell on emotions you couldn't control, you accepted the fact embarrassing as it was for yourself that your mind had gone to the gutter.
You let it be pushed into the forgotten gladly. A small tap on your arm made you turn, Soap holding out a few protein bars to you and Ghost, his eyes on the files as he munched on his own. You took them and handed one to Ghost, you watched his eyes glance at the bar before he lifted a hand from you to take it.
You held it away before he could grab it "let me off or your not getting it" You threatened, holding it between the very tips of your fingers outstretched arm barely out of his reach. He stared and shrugged, "im not that hungry anyways" You frowned with a sigh, having lost already you lowered your arm defeated.
He snatched the bar and you tried to grab it back quickly, he held if off to the side accidentally hitting Soap in the process. Soap seemed unbothered, shooting a glance at the two as you smiled and Ghost rubbed Soaps head where he'd hit quickly.
He reached it to the other side, holding it over the chair. You leaned over, adjusting yourself as you attempting to the reach the bar. "Give - ... it!" You grunted, as he swung the bar about, he held it up as far as he could his only obstacle being the lower helicopter ceiling. Just out of reach from your grasp.
You raised yourself off his lap as far as the belt holding you down would allow, grabbing the bar missing the bar by mere inches as your fingers gazed the wrapper. You dropped back down eyes kept up on the bar he held. His grip loosened as you dropped and you watched the bar fall onto your lap.
He grunted, a whiney grunt that was sudden. A soft but throaty hum that had escaped unexpectedly. He glared at you but shame was behind his expressionless eyes. You became a statue, looking at the dropped bar before meeting his gaze, his eyes didn't waver as you became increasingly aware of underneath you.
You understood why he needed you to stay a moment. So what he was dealing with could go away while kept hidden. Your eyes followed his hand as he reached for the belt. Upon unbuckling it you immediately slid off into the seat beside him, keeping your eyes away.
You watched as he leaned forwards, elbows on knees as he folded his arms across his lap, an attempt to cover himself. You passed him over your hoodie that you'd brought with you without looking at him. He took it, feeling being taken from your hands.
You focused on the outside world below you. Jitters still present and startled at sudden noises. You watched rocky mountains stretch out below turning the world into a rigid piece of art, the tips so sharp they looked like daggers from above. Snow in-between the small trenches and crests of the rock.
....
A couple hours later the helicopter landed and you jumped off before it even touched the ground, your legs were not prepared. Having been cramped and unstretched you fell face first as you hit the ground. Glad that you were down on the floor. The wind ruffling your hair and uniform.
You'd landed in a field of grass, surrounded by trees. You heard Soap laughing as he exited the helicopter, stepping over you as he stretched. "You good there Rook?" He chuckled and Price joined. You rolled onto your back, sitting up as you watched Ghost step out of the helicopter.
A sudden remembrance made you turn away quickly, not wanting him to catch you staring. Things felt immensely strained between you two even though you hadn't spoken sense. The tension in the air feeling like when you'd hold two magnets close together but stop them from connecting.
You stood up, brushing the grass from you as you joined to help unload things with everyone else. Stations were set up under gazebos. Things were packed tight, the team was allowed to customize their own guns as long as they had silencers. You carried three combat knives with you, going quiet was best. One in your belt, one strapped to your ankle and another on your back hidden under.
Your gear was all black, you'd be moving in at night. Deciding it was easier to go unseen in the dark. Prices gear was camo since he was to be sniper. You were slightly shaken from the helicopter but the mission nerves seemed to have blown over now. You sat on a trunk, filling your gear with needed gadgets and supplies.
The sun was setting and the team was eating dry foods while on the grass, files laid infront. You were whistled over by Price and you jogged along, sitting down with your legs crossed. He spoke over the plan, filling everyone in on details. Marking places on maps and discussing back up options.
He went over every possible outcome and made sure everyone had an idea of what to do if the mission flipped. Callsigns were repeated out everyone nodded as there's was called. Comms was checked in helmets, not wanting to lose contact with anyone. The drive was passed to you and made sure it was secure within your vest.
Everyone had their weapons checked over and adjusted if needed. Now all was left to wait till darkness took over, wiping the sky of its grey hue. You sat back at the trunk, leg bouncing as you fiddle with your gun attachments. Checking your ammunition over and fiddling with your knife as you recapped the mission over and over.
You were under Ghosts call. You weren't supposed to do anything major without his signal or approval to do so. You had a path to follow and ordered to keep your eyes ahead. Trusting your team had your back. Ghost was going to be telling you what to do aswell as Soap devising the best plan for everyone depending on the situation.
As the sun lowered behind the mounts, beams of orange casting golden glows around each the team set off on foot through the forest. The Major was right. The base was ontop of a mountain, the flat surface stretching, serving as a large property for the base secluded within the woods. The team stood at the forests edge, beneath the shrub and bush.
It had grown dark now and your stomach had started to flitter. You clutched your gun to your chest, checking your pistol before putting your gun over your back. You most likely wouldn't need it, if everything went to plan. Price set up his spot, comms checked.
He had a device that he used to hack into few cameras in base. As ordered, he'd be guiding the team through. Soaps mic was down, keeping his word he had to keep price updated, working up front while he worked afar. Communication was always a key point to them.
You took a deep breath, watching the guards pace the base with guns held high.
"Two minutes rook" Soap said, coming to stand beside you as his gaze watched the security with you. From the corner of your eye, you seen Ghost appear beside you. Standing straight and confident as he stared ahead.
Ghost and Soap stepped forwards in sync without even needed to speak. You stepped forwards behind them, biting back anxiety as they trudged down, you stumbling along behind.