Get out.

Lunch

11/9/2023
Sometimes I feel anxious and nauseous when I'm sitting alone at table. I feel like everyone is staring at me deep into my soul. I don't have any closes friends in this school, so I often eat alone or just didn't eat at all. It's not hard but it doesn't mean I'm comfortable either. I feel like I take too much space for one table, and people will look at me like I'm a weirdo, I feel nauseous and nervous. I feel deep hatred in me whenever I caught their gaze lingering on me, I feel mad and upset. I don't want them staring at me, I don't want anyone to watch me eat, watch me feeling depressed, watch me sitting alone at one table thinking they're better than me because they have friends and I don't. I want them to fuck off and let me do my things. I usually spends my time alone at certain crowded places so I won't feel like I'm taking one big space for myself, even though I sometimes hated crowded room, I hate physical touches with someone I don't know. I have to anyway, just so I can fit in, just so they won't stares at me anymore.