Harry Potter and the Jar of S...

By AliciaJackson792

56 4 0

What if Harry Potter was sick and tired of everything before he entered Hogwarts, to the point where he did t... More

OH FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT!
I don't get paid enough for this shit.

YOU GREASY HAIRED TWAT!

18 1 0
By AliciaJackson792


As a black cloaked man briskly enters the classroom, Harry immediately notices two things about him; one, that he appears to have incredibly greasy hair, and two, that he appears to be glaring at him, almost as if he were desperately trying to burn Harry's eyes out with his mind.

"Greetings, I am Professor Snape, and I shall be your Potions teacher. Potions is a delicate art..." However, Snape begins to trail off, as he notices that Harry isn't paying attention, so, with a sneer, he decides to call on him.

"Mr Potter, our new celebrity... Tell me, can you tell me what a Bezoar is?" Harry sits in silence for a few moments, before frowning and answering with "No, I can't." Tittering, Snape sneers before asking him another question.

"Mr Potter, what if the difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?"

Harry shrugs, starting to wonder about whether or not he might be in the right class.

"I don't know, sir."

Snape just sneers, before stepping away and moving towards his desk.

He then carefully sits down onto his chair, before turning around and focusing his gaze back on Harry, who swears that he's just about ready to pummel Snape into the ground.

"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel into an infusion of wormwood?" His eyes displaying that he is undoubtedly eager for Harry to get this wrong.

"I don't know sir." Harry once again responds, as he starts to feel like a broken record.

"How disappointing, Mr Potter... looks like you don't know everything, after all." Snape chuckles, as he begins to return to his teaching plan.

That is, however, until Harry finally EXPLODES, completely unable to take the snide comments or rude remarks anymore, nor can he take Hermione's constant hand waving. "Oh shut the fuck up you greasy-haired TWAT!" He yells, shocking the entire classroom into absolute silence. "Harry, n-" Hermione begins to say to him, before he turns around and focuses his anger on her. "Oh shut the FUCK UP Hermione! I swear to god if you don't put your hand down in 10 seconds, then I'm going to shove it up your-"

"MR POTTER, HOW DARE YOU-" Snape begins to yell, before suddenly finding himself being cut off, as Harry starts to yell at a volume that's even louder than his own.

"NO YOU LISTEN HERE, YOU GREASY HAIRED TWAT! YOU DARE START YELLING A STUDENT, AN 11 YEAR OLD, MIND YOU, FOR NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING THAT'S IN THE MAGICAL DICTIONARY, ON THEIR FIRST DAY?! HONESTLY, FUCK OFF!"

The entire classroom is completely silent, as Harry quickly jumps up off his stool, before turning around and hurrying over to the classroom door, where he stands and flips the bird to everyone, before suddenly slamming the door shut, creating a very loud BANG which echoes through the hallway.

"Welp..." Ron mutters, his voice piercing through the silence.

"That just happened."

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