(ty for reading, ur much appreciated, and ty ty ty for the reads :DD the number may be small to some but it is quite the number for me so thank you all endlessly [good morning, sunshine, the little star says hello ! ])
I suppose the saying goes: be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
I'd long wondered just what had happened with Kane in his high school and college freshman years between him and his so-called friends that had gone so far as to elicit an intervention from both Coach and Corvus. But if this was the universe's way of answering that question in full, well, fuck me sideways, because I would pick blissful ignorance in a blink if it meant getting rid of the Kane that stood before me now.
"No," Rosalie said immediately. She pushed past the bouncers and Meredith and Yubaek and me. "No. We're leaving. Let's go. Let's go right now."
"Rosalie, still so fiery," Yubaek said.
"Don't talk to me," she spat.
I took the chance to slip out of Yubaek's grip. I turned on Kane. "Come on," I told him. "Kane."
Kenzo beckoned for Corvus to follow, and they didn't hesitate in retreating from Fang Flower's doorways to head out, but Kane still wouldn't move. He had been nailed in place, his hands shaking at his sides. His eyes were lasers on Luan. Every step the man took towards him, Kane paled a little more.
"Kitae," he said. The name snapped my head back. "I didn't know you still clubbed."
Diego said, "Who's Kitae?"
Kane closed his eyes. He looked nearly blue. He clenched his jaw tight. "I don't," he muttered.
Luan raised a brow. "Who's Kitae," he repeated, then smiled at Kane, but for as much friendliness as was in that, there was a sick amusement, too. "Why, that's just mean."
Zahir looked just as confused as the rest of Corvus, but he seemed to choose his hatred for Luan over answers. He took Kane's arm. "Come on, man. Let's just go."
"Why?" Luan asked. The gold necklaces on his collarbones glimmered along with the gems hanging from his ears. His button down shirt had been left open at the top, and the distinct inky shape of a wolf's head tattooed to the skin there peeked out to flash its deadly incisors. "Night hasn't even started yet."
"We won't be starting it here," Rosalie snapped.
Luan slid her a calm, cool look, brown eyes glinting. "Well," he said. "I think that's up to your captain, no?"
"Not every captain is its team's master," she snarled, and he tilted his head. "Let's go."
"Don't leave yet," a young man said from behind Baluyot. "Hey, man, where have you been? Is that seriously you, holy hell! Hah! You could take me on."
"Little Kitae," one girl said, cackling high into the air. "Best coincidence of the whole damn year. Ya, eodisseosseo?"
"It's been too long since we partied with Kitae anyway," the other girl said with a nod. "What better time than now? Used to be a serious kick!"
Kane had gone from pensive to sick to angry to mortified over the course of the group's constant chatter. He pursed his lips, speechless under the onslaught of pressure. Rosalie looked about ready to pop someone's skull open, quelled only by Meredith hauling her backwards. Zahir and Diego stood in front of Kane, glowering at the group, although the lycans looked unfazed considering how they looked right through the two towards their target.
Zoe and Wynter looked between me, Kane, and Kenzo for some sort of context. Zoe said, "Kitae? Are they talking about King? Why are they calling him that?"
I tugged at his sleeve. "Kane," I said carefully.
Kane finally turned his head away from the group to look down at me. He opened his mouth, closed it. The expression on his face was unreadable. Zahir turned around to Kenzo. "Tell him we're leaving."
Kenzo considered him, then Kane. "Are we leaving?" he asked.
Corvus gawked at us, like the idea of a choice was out of the question for them. But there was a strange understanding Kenzo had of Kane and his old friends that no one else seemed to share, and it might've been the only thing that made me side with him in leaving the floor open for Kane, no matter how poor of an idea it seemed.
Rosalie wasn't willing to take that bet, though. She said to Kane in harsh French, "What the hell is going on here?"
Kane tightened his jaw, glanced between us and Luan. Luan slid into Mandarin, to all of Corvus's irritation, with, "Your choice. I just thought we could have an honest talk, as friends, but if you're not ready." He nodded. "I'll understand."
My throat burned with vitriol I was waiting to spit right at him and my stomach recoiled when I swallowed it. Kane took a long breath. He called to the group, "Let's catch up."
They cheered at that. But Corvus was in a bit of a turmoil.
"Hell no. No. No. No." Rosalie shook her head. "Do you have an actual death wish? Did six years of his shit mean nothing to you, does your safety not even matter—Kane." She grasped his hand, frustration potent in her grip. "Please. Please, just think."
"I won't make you all stay," he told her. "It might be better if you don't, actually. Just let me talk to them."
"Alone?" Diego exclaimed, incredulous. "Hold on, this—let's talk about this first."
"Go somewhere else and text me," he said, then gave them a paper grin no one took to for a second. "I'm sorry, I'll explain things later to you all, I promise. But it's better if you leave."
"King," Meredith said. "Don't do this. Come with us."
He said, "Go."
He turned around, and headed for the group. Yubaek swung an arm around him and wheeled him away without a second thought. The grin he flashed was all teeth.
We all looked amongst each other. Rosalie rolled up her sleeves and shook her head. "That fucker. Telling us to go and leave him here to those goddamn feral hyenas. What are we, freaking Pomeranians?"
"Who are those people anyway?" Wynter murmured.
"High school friends," I said. "I don't think they wanna catch up."
We watched Kane walk away. Meredith took a step forward, turned to us, and said, "Let's go?"
Kenzo said, "Let's go."
So, we went.
Kane glanced behind him. He spotted us. He frowned. "What are you..."
We glanced between each other. Meredith just shrugged, her smile sad. "First rule," she said.
We followed Kane into the wolves' den.
If Fang Flower had been busy when I'd come with Mercy, it was downright packed now.
The sheer amount of bodies against bodies, of skin to skin, of drinks to drinks, was beyond excessive; it was a modern bacchanal. The music shoved canines with such ferocity it was a miracle nobody lost a fang in the process. Sparkling champagne and fruity cocktails, abandoned heels and cigarette stubs, abandoned jewels or broken bracelets littered the floor. Heat soaked and spilled in and out from open mouths, from curving bodies, from bared teeth, from roaming hands, from guttural laughs. It smelled of sweets and sweat, metal and mirth.
Although Kenzo had reserved a room, it wasn't one of the more private ones like Mercy had had, and rather was just a table tucked in an area further back on the first level. A dozen or so lycans piling into such a room wasn't a feat, but it definitely left a very slim margin of escape. A large ring of leather seats surrounded a large white table, all of which was tucked in its own tiny room overlooking the club's hectic, happening floor. Glassy lights hung precariously from the ceiling, red as fresh blood, the whole place coated in its drippings, anything untouched left to the black shadows and blacker decor to devour.
After several minutes of arduous navigation, we finally arrived at the reserved dais. Kenzo and Luan headed inside first, taking their respective people with them. All of us. In one room. For the night. With alcohol. How promising. How peaceful.
"What's the plan of survival?" I murmured to Zoe.
Zoe replied, "Survive."
I said, "That looks like a tall order."
Zahir jutted his chin at where Kane was settling. "Sit accordingly," he said.
We sat in our usual arrangement, but that meant leaving me as the second closest to the hounds beside Kane. Kane stared at me as I slipped in next to him at the center of the seats. Luan was on his other side, Yubaek and Yungyeom on the left, Aster and two girls I didn't recognize on the right.
He glanced around us at them as they busied themselves with drink orders, then said under his breath, "Don't sit here."
"Hey, I've just been designated," I told him.
"Echo."
"Better than being alone."
He opened his mouth to answer, but was quickly interrupted with Luan's casual, "So."
It was like hearing the buzzer scream for the start of a race, like seeing the first smoke from tires screeching against concrete as the bikes shot off for high heaven; you feared for life as much as you craved the fight.
Kane said, "So."
Yubaek leaned over and said, "So stiff for what, Kitae? You're acting like we're all strangers here."
"Might as well be." The boy from before, sitting at a seat beside Kenzo, leaned back against the seat, content to drum fingernails against the leather and watch Kane through sandy bangs, his gaze an unforgiving, gunmetal blue.
Luan raised a hand. "Some of us are strangers." He tilted his head, and smiled down at Corvus. "Old friends of Kitae haven't met the new ones, have they?"
"Let's keep it that way," Rosalie muttered.
"No," Meredith said with a polite smile. "We haven't."
Luan jutted his thumb back at the three nameless strangers. He pointed at the sandy blond, the black pigtails, and the pink dress. "Quinn, Hailee, and Vivi. UCR Highlanders, Pomona Sagehens, and USF Dons." All D1, debatable rankings, but D1 nonetheless. "We all went to high school together."
Quinn grinned. "Things were real different in high school, too." He snickered.
I looked out at the club goers, tracking the gumiho that were going left and right. None of them looked familiar from that night with Mercy, but now with Luan's group here along with Corvus, I could take no chances.
"I can barely recognize you as Kitae now." He frowned at us. "I suppose they can't either."
"Stop calling him that," Rosalie added curtly.
"Oh, they don't know?" Yubaek said, then laughed. He gave us a pitying look. "They don't know."
"We don't have to," Zahir snapped. "We don't care anyway." Although it didn't sound very convincing.
The group looked amongst each other. Hailee cocked her head at him. "Ah, but we always remember you as Kitae! What was so wrong with that name anyway, why change it? You changed too much, you know. You're so upright, so righteous." H er laugh was dry. "How very captain of you."
"Change it?" Wynter murmured. Zahir glanced nervously at Diego.
Kane swallowed. He said, "I guess so."
Baluyot leaned over the table to look at Kane. "You change your eyes with the name?"
We all went quiet. Baluyot tapped the space below his own eye, and gestured at Kane with a menacing smile. "Real interesting contacts there. Where'd you get them?"
"Don't remember," he replied.
"No? They're pretty. Silver, almost."
"Thanks?"
"Cat got your nose?" Baluyot laughed like something was funny. Kane visibly stiffened. Baluyot turned to Hailee, who simply tapped the side of her nose, and grinned smugly at Kane.
"C'mon, Kitae," she said. "Take a joke?"
My palms burned.
Yungyeom smiled at the rest of Corvus and said, "We were surprised to run into you and Kitae here. He hasn't been in the party scene for some time."
"Finally getting back to it, then?" Yubaek asked. "Without us? Now, that's just cruel."
I frowned to Meredith. "I thought he was allergic."
Meredith paused for a moment, but the moment was all I really needed to catch that implication. I figured I would ask him about it later, but it seemed Kane wasn't the only one with superhuman hearing.
"Allergic?" Baluyot said, then threw his head back with a raucous laugh. "Hell, if Kitae is allergic, so the fuck am I." At that, he beckoned for the incoming trays of shots and drink glasses.
Kane closed his eyes. He said, "I just don't drink anymore."
Luan did a double take. "Since when?"
Since when?
I wanted out of this goddamn club, and fast.
Kane tightened his fists. "Since a year or two ago."
"Ah, but you were more fun drinking," Vivi snickered. She leaned over towards us. "You should have seen it. You don't know about it? You don't know about it!" She giggled wildly. "Have I got stories for you!"
"Vivi," Kane said. "Don't."
Vivi stared, smile dropping. "Don't," she scoffed. "Kitae."
"Kane," Diego said. "Guy's name is Kane, you know."
"Ah, you're still on that kick?" Yubaek snorted. "This Kane King drama? Hey, what's wrong with Kitae? I like Kitae! We know Kitae." He took a shot glass from the tray and toasted it at Kane. "What's the vendetta all about?"
"Why does it matter?" Kane said.
"Dunno. Why does it? Jeez, so dramatic."
"What's your problem?" Rosalie snapped.
"My problem? What problem? Who said there was a problem?" Yubaek threw the shot back and laughed in the face of the burn. "What's your problem? We're just catching up with an old friend. Seems like if anyone is peeved here, it's you."
Rosalie made a move to get up, but Wynter grabbed her arm to haul her back down. Kane took a breath, but Yubaek had never seemed more amused. Yungyeom's smile had faded, and he reached to tug at his twin, but Yubaek seemed too busy being amused to care.
Luan waved Yubaek off. "Don't tease," he told them. "After all, this is just supposed to be a conversation between Kitae and us." He smiled brightly at Kane.
Kane seemed to almost wince at that. I clenched my fists in my pockets.
"Well, Kane," Wynter emphasized, "has us, too. So talk to him, talk to all of us."
Luan cocked his head to the side. His mirth and warmth that came so easily seemed to go cold under the shadows and dancing lights, an unprecedented danger lurking in its folds. He said, "Some conversations are meant for those who know, you know? You probably wouldn't understand everything that we mean."
"We're his friends, too," Meredith argued.
"Congrats," Baluyot drawled, earning a glower from Rosalie.
"Thanks," she shot. "You all got a lot to say about being ditched for people who didn't really bother doing much to contact King either on your end, don't you?"
Luan blinked. Kane chewed his lip. He slid his eyes to Kane, humming. "Hey, Kitae," he said. "I didn't really take you for the dishonest type. I guess time can change a lot of things on its side."
"What are you talking about?" Diego snapped.
"Just phrasing, maybe," Luan said, his eyes boring into Kane like metal drills. "After all, if anyone hasn't reached out a hand, it's Kitae. He's been in a bit of a refusal to talk to any of us. Well, most of us." He glanced at Aster behind him. Aster, who had been deathly quiet for the entirety of the time.
"Why don't you all just say what you wanna say and we can go our separate ways? King doesn't drink, your night can end with some closure and a fair goodbye," Zahir said. "Everyone's happy."
Yubaek sighed, and then said in crisp Korean, "Who let the freeloading front in on this conversation?"
Kane turned a razor-edged look on him. "Don't talk about my team."
Yubaek raised a brow, switching to English. "Oh?" He laughed, but it sounded annoyed. "I see! Five years of friendship gets you pitted to the wolves for shit, but a few years of racing keeps you immune to all judgment. Hey, Kitae." He leaned towards him, rested his chin on Luan's shoulder. "I didn't take you for the type to play favorites."
"I'm not playing anything," he said. "But leave racing out of this. It has nothing to do with the conversation you think you're having with me."
"I think?"
"You wanted to catch up, then catch up," Kane said. "This isn't an open mic for taking shots."
"Your team thinks differently."
"His team isn't cornering him in a club over a petty fight that never even happened," Wynter snapped.
"You think you know your story," Baluyot hissed, "but I wouldn't be so quick to trust your captain. He isn't always the honest type."
Kane pursed his lips so tight they went pale. Quinn said, "People do change after all."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rosalie said.
Quinn seemed delighted to bear that answer. "You know, we initially came here to give our condolences and apologies," he said with a sigh. "Hand over some drinks and food, have a good night out. But you're making it pretty damn difficult with your attitude issues."
"Your so-called 'conversation' gameplay isn't very impressive either," she said. "If you've got something to say, fucking say it. Stop wasting all our time."
"We're not wasting time," Yubaek said. "We're just being honest."
"Hyung," Yungyeom said, but was quickly ignored.
Luan didn't bother beating around the bush as much. He said in easy Mandarin, "You're more of a liar than you look."
For a split second, I thought he was talking to me. But a moment later, I saw Kane turning away from Luan, his face pained and his hands clenched so tight his knuckles were white. My blood popped, boiled a little, threatened to spill right out my arteries.
"I'm not lying about anything," Kane returned.
"Kitae."
"Stop calling me that."
"So sensitive. You outgrow eating, sleeping, drinking, but you don't outgrow that?" His laugh was cruel. "Some things will never change, will they?"
I bit my tongue so hard I thought I'd bite it off.
Kane said, "I'm sorry I didn't contact you all. But things came up."
"So what, a dead captain," Vivi muttered. "She didn't even know you for as long as we did."
"What the hell did you just say?" Rosalie said.
"Kitae thinks because he's a big-shot racer he's too good for the sunbaes!" Yubaek cackled. "Don't take this wrong, but don't you think that's a joke for the years?"
"Kane is a great captain," Meredith said.
"Kane is a replacement." Yubaek smiled at Kane. "At least one person should be honest."
Kitae isn't someone I'd like to remember.
I'd rather just be Kane.
"How would you know? You haven't seen him for years," Zahir said.
"You know Kane. But we know Kitae." Yubaek took a glass, and tipped it at Kane. "Don't you think it's a little too early to think you really trust someone willing to eradicate their whole life just to pretend their new one is the real one?"
"What are you talking about?" Diego said. "We know King better than you ever have."
"You didn't even know he wasn't allergic to alcohol." Quinn threw back a shot. "I don't like this side of you, Kitae. Dishonesty isn't a cute look."
I took a deep breath. In, out. In, out.
"Whoever King was before doesn't matter to us," Zoe said. "And if you're just going to rag on him instead of letting everyone have a good time, then that's not a conversation worth having."
Luan smiled. "Look at that," he murmured. "How brave of you."
I think he was very defensive. On top of that, he didn't have the greatest friends.
"Just stop," Kane sighed, switching to Mandarin, to Corvus's anger. "I'm not here to be interrogated. And I'm not here for you to regale any of them with things that happened in the past, it's over with. Let it be over with, Luan."
Luan leaned towards him in an instant and said calmly, "No."
Kane flinched.
I said, "He said stop."
Everyone glanced at me. Hailee cocked a brow. "Excuse me?" she snarked.
"He said stop," I repeated, louder. "So, stop."
Yubaek turned to his brother. "Who left the mutt unmuzzled?"
And, I'd just about had it with this so-called "conversation".
I sat up straight. "If anyone here needs a goddamn muzzle, it's all of you. You bullshit a conversation about closure and catch-up, just to corner some guy that is your so-called friend and interrogate him about the shit he wants and doesn't want to tell his team that he captains because it makes you insecure that he can move the fuck on from a bunch of immature gossip dogs playing grown-ups and actually be a different person that doesn't rely on your petty shit of getting drunk and throwing punches. You think a flashy smile and some light-hearted laughs makes your mob mentality bullshit justified, but it just makes you all hypocritical cowards and worse liars than you have any right to go calling anyone else. You wanna blackmail someone and call it gracious honesty, that's your own fucked-up agenda you're welcome to delude yourselves into believing, but stop trying to screw our minds over and turn us against our own teammate just because you're mad he moved onto bigger, better things without you there to drag him down to your pathetic level. You don't want him to be honest about his past, you want him to stay in it with the rest of you where you can collar him like a pet and keep the leash for yourselves. Instead of checking someone else's right to their own goddamn business, check your over-inflated, god-awful, rabid egos and stop trying to ruin someone else's life with your petty bullshit before you move on and get your own. Leave us and Kane the fuck alone, and find another fucking booth to ruin the night of instead."
Every person but Kane turned to gape wordlessly at me, as if waiting for me to add on a just kidding after it all. I didn't. I settled back in my seat, and waited for my demise.
Meredith buried her face in her hands just as Rosalie pinched the space between her eyes. Kane stared at the table, blank-faced, his hands limp in his lap. Diego and Zahir were looking between each other to try and find a way to not freak out. Wynter and Zoe stared at me with no words. Kenzo seemed to be the only one still having a good time, humming to himself as he drank his drink, seemingly content.
I was relatively used to having my world hurling towards imminent demise, so I was doing all right.
Rosalie got to her feet. She said, "We're done here."
She didn't wait for anyone to protest or agree. She simply shoved everyone out of the seats, and when Kane didn't move fast enough, put her body between him and Luan to push him out quicker. Luan's group watched us go without protest, abandoning the booth for a quick escape onto the black and red dance floor.
Rosalie turned on her heel. She said, "Thank you."
I did a double take. "Wait, rea—"
"And what. The. Fuck. Echo."
"Never mind."
Diego ruffled my hair. "That was badass, cobayo. Stupid, but badass. I think that's, like, your schtick, yeah?"
I shrugged. "I'll take that."
Wynter patted my arm. "They probably won't bother us again after that spiel, so, I say well fucking done." She whirled around to face the rows of bars, of stages with gumiho or lycans or werewolves scantily clad, of flashing neon and blurry faces. "Now let's get fucking hammered. I can't handle anything that happened tonight sober."
"Agreed," Corvus chorused.
Zahir frowned. "Wait."
Meredith turned around. "Where's King?"
I said, "I thought he was—"
I glanced over my shoulder.
But nothing except flashing lights and unfamiliar faces met my gaze in greeting. The night turned to black fog and red fog lights. My skeleton rattled with the ongoing beat. We were pushed every which way as the floor filled up fast, faster, an ongoing tidal wave of inebriated canines left and right.
"—right here," I finished.
When I turned back to tell Corvus such, they were gone all the same, lost in the sea of Fang Flower evening and ecstasy.
Night came for me with terrors on its heels.
I tilted my head back. "Fucking fuck," I yelled.
But not a soul heard me say it.
I suppose Kane had a good point after all about this phone thing.
Corvus eventually rallied over message to split up and find Kane before leaving altogether. The girls decided to check upstairs while the rest of the guys roamed downstairs, and only Rosalie volunteered to take the bar. I figured half for Kane, half for her own sanity.
I didn't dare return to the booth, but I did catch a glimpse of it, only to dreadfully see it was now empty. It was as if we'd been released into a pool of sharks, nothing but an ocean of strangers and hungry creatures left to save you.
I called Kane four times over to no avail. My voice wasn't even a whisper under the onslaught of bass and techno waves when I yelled out his name. The lighting didn't help anything either, every face the same as the last, too many shadows to differentiate an eye from a nose from a mouth. My head swam with the smells and the heat.
The crowd eventually rolled me towards the stages, where several gumiho were lined up dancing around poles or swinging their legs open on the polycarbonate floor. One found me with a bright grin, and fluttered painted claws in my direction.
I beckoned her over. She slinked down, wrapped her arms around my neck. I shook my head. "No, no, hey, listen!" I yelled. "I'm trying to find someone, he's—"
"So am I," she sang. "I'll be your someone."
I pulled her off. She frowned. "Tall Asian guy, silver and black hair. Blue jacket. You seen him?"
The gumiho considered that, her hair swinging around her shoulders, tails curling around her legs. She sat on the edge of the stage and toyed with my sweater collar. "All right, so you have a type. We've got choices."
"I'm not asking for a type, I'm just asking if you've seen him."
She stared blankly. I rolled my eyes, digging out my wallet. I shoved a paper bill into her claws. Her grin was wide and fanged. She got to her feet. "Saw some pretty tall boy take him somewhere towards the bar. He didn't seem very happy about it." She tucked the bill into her skirt. "Hope you find your boyfriend, and a better fake ID."
I gritted my teeth. I walked away.
The night stirred an endless tornado in my stomach. Hands grabbed at me, onto me, wrenched me forward and back, this way and that. I moved only by sheer force and gravity.
I've made a lot of bad choices.
I've been a lot of bad choices.
If Luan had gotten to him before any of us did, there was no telling what could happen in a place like this. There wasn't even telling if Kane would stay or go. He'd acquiesced to this deliberate, humiliating slaughter just from a few words from Luan's mouth. Without Corvus, he might just let himself walk right into a guillotine.
It was a race, as everything proved to be.
Against racers of equal and greater caliber, I should have known it wouldn't be easy.
A hand wrapped around my shoulder, wrenching me backwards. It spun me around in an instant.
"Oh, fuck me," I said.
The showgirl werewolf from the Bengals' and Leopards' negotiation stared right back at me, teeth the same sharp culprits of the bite in my arm, and her face just as furious as I'd left it that night.
"Ghostie," she snarled.
I grimaced at her claws and teeth. I spat, "Dirty wolf."
She sneered at that. "Murderous dog."
Now, werewolves were the true mutts of the world, let me tell you. The socio-political tensions between lycans and werewolves were only there because the werewolves liked to pretend they were just as sophisticated and powerful as the lycans, but really, they were simply the less evolved version and even I could admit to that. They were pheromone-driven things, set in old ways and dirty habits, and never to be trusted lest they go and bite your throat out while you're busy looking the other way.
I grabbed her by the back of her neck. "Don't even think about it," I said.
"Your precious leader isn't here," she said with a choked scoff. "Tell me what gall you have coming all the way back here. Surely not for fun?"
"Say another word about my last visit here and I'll cut your throat open," I snapped.
Her eyes flashed, her teeth elongating. "A barely-shifting prepubescent lycan wants to take on a wolf? Are you sure it's my throat you'll tear open?"
I didn't need this, not on top of everything else that had already happened and was happening. The last thing I could afford was Corvus, or God forbid, Luan's friends, finding out about anything I did outside of what I proclaimed. If anyone knew I'd been here before for business of any kind, I was good as dead already.
"You reveal me," I said. "You reveal Mercy. I might not tear you a new one, but you think a Drachmann gang leader won't?" I shoved her back, jamming the base of my palm into her sternum to push her into the nearest body, sending her stumbling. "You're a glorified, strung-out bottom-feeder and no better than me. You want to gamble with a Bengal?"
"Fuck you," she said. "I know you're here with Corvus. I might not gamble with Mercy, but what can your team do?" Her grin was wicked. "If they find out just what 'work' you've been up to, who will your leader blame? The girl who just works here, or the fool who came back with an all-star team at his back?"
I clenched my fists. It was true. Mercy would have my head if she knew I came back to any place we'd already been for work. I grabbed her by her frilly collar.
"Don't say a word," I snarled. "My 'work' has made kings disappear right under the world's nose. Who will care when a measly showgirl goes missing, too?"
She hesitated at that. "You wouldn't. Not here."
"Wanna bet?" I hissed. "I've buried a fuck-ton of bodies before. What's one more?"
"You're sick."
"You're a waste of my fucking time." I let her go. "So keep your mouth shut and stay the hell away from that team."
She bared her teeth. "How long do you think your innocent rookie face will take you? All that blood on your hands," she hissed. "I don't have to say a word. Your own idiocy will get you caught soon enough. What then? You're a Stirling nobody, the bane of their reputation. They will hate you to your bones." She laughed bitterly. "Who will you have to protect you then? I might be a bottom feeder, but you," she hissed. "You are nothing at all."
I'm afraid—
I stepped back.
—that I'll disappear.
I said, "Keep to yourself for the rest of the night."
I'm afraid—
She just laughed in my face. She fixed her collar, as if to emphasize it to me.
—that I'll lose.
"All right, Ghost," she bit out. "Have fun while it lasts."
I turned my back to her, and walked away.
Who will you have to protect you then? What then?
I clutched at my chest, taking a breath. The words twisted in the cavities, pierced through the ventricles. I felt the pressure against my spine. I breathed. I tried.
They will hate you.
To your bones.
I needed to find Kane.
I shoved my way through, trying to head for the bar. It felt like swimming against an oncoming hurricane. Everything ached. My chest compressed under the air's weight. I thought of Kane flinching. I thought of Luan's smile.
They will hate you.
All that blood on your hands.
The lights were a hellish red, thick with a poisonous viscosity. The DJ announced something that sent people screaming and jumping tenfold, the beat so violent it massacred my lungs. I tried to see blue, see silver, see garish shoes or gray-streaked eyes, but my vision was hazy with the pungent fog of partying.
I called, "Kane!"
The music answered me back.
So did an arm.
Someone wrapped themselves around me, yanking me into them. I collapsed against them, nearly tripping on the way there. Their arm was tight around my shoulders and neck. A particularly sharp scent of pricy cologne and fading vodka invaded my nose.
I didn't waste time in panicking. I jutted my elbow back into their ribs. They cried out, loosening their grip. I grabbed their wrist, twisting their up and over me, taking the nearest glass out of an unsuspecting stranger's hand to spill out the last of the ice and aim it up over my head. I whirled around to strike.
"Wait, wait!" Yungyeom's hands shot up in front of his face. "Hey, hold on, it's me."
I paused. Then said, "All the more reason." I swung.
"Wait." He caught my arm. "Kitae isn't here."
I said, "I didn't say Kitae."
Yungyeom stared at me. He pursed his lips. He looked from me to the bar, then said, "He's at the end of the bar, with Luan." Yungyeom reached for me. "You...should go get him."
I blinked. I looked from the bar to Yungyeom and back again. I said, "Why should I trust any shit you say?"
He shrugged at that. His smile was grim. "You shouldn't. I get why you wouldn't. But, you should know it's not like that with all of us, with Kit—King."
"Like what? Treating him like he's a goddamn spectacle for your sick entertainment?"
"He was our friend," Yungyeom tried. "He was my friend. I thought, maybe, with you all there, they wouldn't have done that. We could've just talked honestly. I'm sorry." He sighed. "What happened between us and King, it's complicated. But some of us were here for the right reasons."
I narrowed my eyes. "So you knew we were coming."
Yungyeom paused, then nodded. "Luan said he knew you all were gonna be here."
"What kind of fucking game are you playing?"
"I know what happened between them," he said. "Everyone thinks he ghosted us for his ego. No one else believes King."
"Believes what?" I snapped.
He shook his head. "I'm sorry. About this. Some of us..." He gestured helplessly. "We just wanted a friend back."
"If this is your way of doing it, I'm not very impressed."
"You follow King. Luan—"
"Kane isn't a goddamn dictator," I said. "Don't fucking compare those two."
Yungyeom dropped his hands. He nodded, taking that gracefully. He said, "I'm sorry." He tilted his head to the bar. "Take your team home."
I dropped the glass. It clattered harmlessly on the ground, cracking down the center. I didn't let Yungyeom speak another word, apology or reason.
No one else believes King.
I went for the bar and didn't look back.
When I made it there, the counter packed to the brim with half-finished drinks, cackling friends, drunken couples, exhausted bartenders. The lights hanging above the counter flickered back and forth, dim with a blue tinge, my skin a midnight indigo. I looked to my left, down towards the very end.
Kane was nowhere to be seen, but Luan sure as hell was.
He stood leaning with his elbows on the counter, a beer in front of him, his face at ease and his smile bright at the passing bartender. I gritted my teeth.
No one else believes King.
I headed for him at full speed.
Who will protect you then?
I pushed the bulgae standing at Luan's right aside. I said, "Where's Kane?"
Luan took a sip of his beer. He turned his head to me. "The sub to the rescue? Look at that." He smiled jovially. "You want a drink? It's on me."
"Where. Is. Kane?"
Luan frowned, a bit disappointed at that rejection. He said, "You know, rookies are new to the scene, they ought to have a better attitude. Keep their connections good. You're a talent, you shouldn't cut too many ties too early."
"With you," I said. "I'm willing to take my chances. Where's Kane?"
"Dunno. He is his own person."
"What's your angle here, tracking us down and wrangling us into a booth just to humiliate someone you claim as a friend? Is this your version of fun?"
"You really never stop talking," he sighed.
"Why are you coming back to torture him after everything?" I said. "What's your problem?"
Luan drummed fingers against the countertop, then, in Mandarin, "You very defensive of someone you barely know."
I stared. Luan's eyes glinted at me, daring me to reply, to admit my understanding. How he'd even been able to tell I understood him before, was beyond me. I bit my tongue.
Luan shrugged, continuing. "I've known Kitae for a very long time, very well. He may be your captain now, but he was my rookie first. Is it so wrong of me to want a conversation with an old friend? You should be more open-minded, Echo."
"I don't have a reason to know Kitae because I already know Kane. You're playing with him."
"I'm just talking."
"You're the reason he left that group in the first place," I said in rushed Mandarin. "You're the reason he doesn't want to be Kitae in the first place."
Luan eyed me. He pushed his beer away and turned to face me. "You shouldn't talk like you know anything about him and me."
"You shouldn't talk like you ever cared about him in the first place."
"I care."
"Do you regularly beat the people you care about?"
Luan snagged my collar so fast I questioned if it had happened at all for a moment. He slammed me against the wall, spine to the cool plaster. His eyes were a deep, endless, merciless purple. His incisors sharpened, lengthened to something like fangs.
"What did you just say?" he hissed.
I grabbed his wrist. "I said you're a pathetic, fucking prick." I spat on his face.
Luan swung.
There was nowhere for me to go being up against the wall, and the blow to my cheek left my whole head ringing off its axis. I didn't have the strength to escape it, but I did have the mind to swing blindly back with my leg. My foot collided with his gut, and he dropped me a moment later.
I hit the floor. Spilled drinks soaked my sweater and skin immediately, the sour smell of alcohol and fruity liquor bombarding my senses. I groaned, holding my aching head as I scrabbled at the ground to haul my ass up.
A hand grasped the back of my neck. My head was wrenched back and nearly tore at the muscles in the process. I grabbed the nearest object that wasn't liquid and found an abandoned wallet on the ground. I threw it with every ounce of might I had, slumping with relief at the cry let out by Luan when it hit the mark.
I scrambled to my feet and stumbled backwards. Luan came into my blurry vision, holding his eye. He glowered daggers into me. His hand wrapped around my throat, bruising the skin and muscles there. His mirth and friendliness was a figment of fiction, a distant memory, a stranger to the fury in his figure now.
"Goddamn dog," he hissed. "Go back to the fucking pound."
I bared my teeth, felt the ripple of adrenaline and rushing blood in my veins, the ache in my gums and stretch of tissue. "Make me."
I let the fangs sprout from my gums, the burn of it stretching at my mouth and straining over my lips until they split the skin there, the taste of blood on my tongue. Heat broiled in my temples and jaw, my arms and fingers.
I snapped my incisors at Luan close enough to draw blood from his forearm. He cried out, releasing me. I went to swing for his nose, but his hand grasped my shoulder and slammed me into the wall. But he didn't strike, simply content to peer at my face.
I took the chance to turn my face and bite right into his hand, the taste of blood a sick, sick thing washing into my mouth. Luan struck me right in the gut, his claws scraping through my sweater and tearing into my skin. I groaned and faltered, falling to my knees.
I swung my claws wide. They found his face and broke the skin. Luan seemed fully fed up with my crazed fighting, because he grabbed both my wrists to hold above my head, his foot bearing down on my knee. He used his free hand to pull my head back by my neck. The prick of his elongated nails pierced the skin there, the metallic scent of fresh blood blooming in my lungs.
"All this trouble from a fucking Omega?" he hissed with a wry laugh. "Your team are sure-fire masters of secrets, aren't they? Tell me, does your team know this one?"
Every inch of me was stone. My eyes. Shifting brought the subspecies color out inevitably, undoubtedly. I saw gold. I saw gold and felt everything turn black. The blood in my mouth was fresh and vile.
I rammed my whole body into his legs. Luan went tumbling, releasing me in the process, but not before his knee was off colliding with my ribs, the blow sending a shockwave through my skeleton. I remained on all fours, holding my stomach with my arm. Breathing took every effort of my burning body.
I spat out the blood in my mouth, both mine and Luan's. The drinks below me bloomed red. I wrenched myself to my feet. Strangers were shuffling away from us, gasping and yelling to each other, some going as far as to leave altogether, the crowds trampling over each other to get a closer look or get as far away from the action as possible. My vision swam violently. My head rocked back and forth in the sea of lights.
Luan wiped at his bleeding cheek. He turned to face me, but something blocked my view of him.
Hands pulled my face to someone. I blinked. Once. Twice. Silver and black eyes came into my view.
Kane said, "Echo."
I thought of my eyes. I wrenched myself back, ducking my head down, but I only managed to stumble on the mess of the club's bar counter. Kane caught me by my arm, saying something or other about leaving, about Corvus, about the club, about...about...about... I tried desperately to take a real breath.
Who will protect you then?
Kane turned around. He said something distressed to Luan. Luan, who was still bloodied and shifted, heeded none of it. His claws were out. His teeth were red.
He grabbed Kane by the collar. He raised his hand. Kane lifted his hands above his head, flinching away.
He was just scared.
I reached around me towards the counter. I grabbed Luan's abandoned beer bottle, smashing it against the edge to send the glass and liquid every which way. The end was jagged like broken bones, like a scalpel knife, like a wolf's incisor tooth.
My mother screamed, hands hiding her face, my father's claws shielding the world above her. I stood alone, watching.
I forced myself between the two, and sliced.
The scent of blood was full and fresh in my nose. The feeling of it dripped over my fingers from the tips of the glass shards. I saw bodies. I saw corpses. I saw my mother's blue mouth.
"Echo!"
I stumbled back. The club came back into my eyes.
Luan held his hand. Crimson dripped onto his skin, his ruined shirt, the ink of a howling wolf. He held the wound tight and stared at me as if he couldn't believe I even stood in front of him. Blood ran onto the floor, sweet as the spilled drinks it ruined.
To my left, Luan's crowd stood watching and gaping. Yungyeom looked away.
All that blood on your hands.
I dropped the bottle. I wiped the blood off on my pants and turned around to face Kane, who faced me.
He said, "Echo."
I shook my head. I said, "We're leaving."
No one stopped us on the way out.
When I found the street outside, the hour fragile for the citygoers and leaving the streets only half-full. I pulled out my phone, stained the screen with scarlet thumbprints.
11:01 PM - echo (echo)
found kane
I stood at the curb, sighing. Kane and I hadn't taken down the limos' info, nor had we bothered to ask Kenzo say anything about how to contact them. Neither of us could drive. I cursed. Corvus would have my head and then some. The world was a cracked thing, a fragmented mess. I only ever made it a mess.
I bent down and sat on the curb. My body ached all over, burned at its sinews. My spine felt as bruised as my true ribs. Metal flooded every inch of my five senses.
Kane sat beside me. I took a look at him. A bruise promised to bloom around his throat, the skin red and speckled with broken blood cells. I hated his ease towards it, his familiarity with flinching, his silver hair. I hated laws of nature and occurrence of time and neuron synapses. I hated I had not been there to change it all.
I hung my head. Kane rustled around in his pocket for a few moments, and I first thought he was taking out his phone to call someone. But a moment later, he pulled out a crumpled up box of Lucky Strikes, and a dented crow lighter.
He stuck a deformed cigarette between his lips, lit the end, his hands trembling. The embers awoke, and he took a shaky breath. The gray clouds rolled over the abandoned streets, the night sky's strangers, the nothingness of it all. He handed it to me, and I followed suit. We let people passing stare and wonder, a few handing out questions and pity by the cent. But we were viciously quiet, an active silence; bloody and bruised, smelling of rotten sweetness and acrid words, nothing but the stars and smoke to wash it away.
We'd made it through half the cigarette before someone behind us said, "A517."
We paused. My head creaked sideways, then up.
Aster Kim stood a ways away, her little black dress no longer so glittery, her perfect pink makeup no longer so plump, her soft curls no longer so full. She stood in honest street lamp light, her heart bare on her face. She held the phone up at us.
"Last four digits of the license plate," she explained. "Of our driver. He'll be here in a few minutes."
I blinked. I was likely concussed and then some, so I had to make sure I'd heard her right. I said, "What?"
Aster walked towards us, stopped a yard or so away. Her eyes were as red as her blush-covered cheeks. "You don't have a ride, right?" she said. At our hesitation, she nodded. "We came here with a driver, but I think you both need it more. We'll find our own ways home."
I narrowed my gaze. "Why?"
Aster pursed her lips. She came to sit beside Kane on his other side. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "About Luan, and this, and...I'm sorry, about everything." She gazed at his neck. "Everyone was angry that you'd up and left us, but it's our fault first. It's my fault. I should have known. I should have believed it." She shook her head. "I should've been your friend, Kane."
Kane stared at her for a long, long moment. I thought he'd pull away, yell or glare or scowl. Maybe walk away altogether.
Kane reached over. He held her hand in his. "Then, let's be, yeah?"
Aster's smile was frail and hopeful. She nodded. "Yeah." She turned her eyes to me.
I turned away, and tapped the cigarette ashes out into the sewer grates.
When the car came for us, Aster stood on the sidewalk to watch us drive away, waving us goodbye as we disappeared into the night. Kane sat against the window, staring out at the fading city, his hand bloody from holding my face and his throat darkening in the shadows. I sat with my leg pressed against his, swallowing the taste of iron.
I said, "Why'd you do that?"
He said, "Do what?"
"Be friends with her," I said. "After what she did. What she didn't do. Why?"
Kane considered that. He rapped his fingers against the door's black leather. Moonlight infested his black eyes, swimming like twin koi in the pools of his gaze. "I've made a lot of bad choices, and I've been a lot of people. I shouldn't even be here, to be honest, with everything I've done. I shouldn't even be Kane. I only am because they let me try. So I'm the last person to undermine a second chance to be someone," he said. "You can know someone as they were, and still choose the person that they are."
I let those words linger in my eyes and ears. Blue ran over the edges of my eyes from the starlight and street signs. I thought of Kane's soft eyes.
Kane said, "Why did you grab that bottle? The one against Luan."
You don't know anyone but who I am now.
I'd rather just be Kane.
I closed my eyes. I thought of my mother's screams, her pleading cries, her hands grabbing at me and shoving away my father and brother, the distress coloring her eyes so black it was impossible to tell where the whites began. I thought of her heartbeat in my head, the lack of it under my knife.
"You just...looked so scared," I whispered.
Kane went quiet. I didn't ask him to be otherwise. I laid my head on his shoulder. Kane pressed his fingers into mine, the metal of his rings cold on my skin, the silver edges stained with Luan's blood.
We were wordless for the rest of the ride.
Kane set me on the counter with a first aid kit and a bottle of water. It took an hour to patch everything up, save for my ribs which I promised I'd make Ramos look at later. Corvus had texted us about our whereabouts and, after several heated exchanges, took our vague explanations and promised to be home promptly enough as soon as one of them could contact one of the drivers.
We'd taken showers to wash both the blood and the scent of Fang Flower from our skin. I'd scrubbed my hands nearly raw trying to get rid of the stains and the sensation of blood dripping over my skin. I flexed my fingers, pushed my spine into the cool bathroom tile. Breathe breathe breathe.
I found Kane lying on his bed, his hair still damp and smelling of brand new lavender soap. He wore a thin white shirt, thin gray shorts, the black threads scarring his skin snaking up and over his body. He didn't look at me when I walked in, but did say, "Did you brush your teeth?"
"Considering the cuts in my mouth right now, I'm better off with gum," I said. "Did you change your socks?"
"You just made that up," he scoffed, but then showed me his perfectly white socks.
I waved him off. "What freak wears socks to bed?"
Kane said, "Are you just here to judge my night attire?"
"Night attire. Are you a butler?" I sat down on his bed.
Kane sat up. He said, "Do your ribs feel better?"
I shrugged. "I've had worse," I admitted.
Kane frowned. "Oh."
"Kidding."
"Are you?"
"No. But it's late."
"It is. Go to bed."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Yes."
"What's that?"
"Dunno," he said. "I've had worse."
I winced. Kane shook his head. "Sorry. Not like that. It's not..." He sighed. He rubbed his temples. "Sorry."
I was so sick of that word, that constantly misplaced word. It never sounded right when it needed to be, it never came out right when it had to, it was a mess. The world was jagged and displaced and without many chances and a mess.
There was little left I could keep from becoming just that.
If I was a man of any merit, I'd make sure of that.
"Don't be," I said. "Don't be."
Kane sighed. He said, "You should get some rest."
I paused. I said, "Can I?"
Kane blinked, considered me. He didn't answer, but he did move. He shifted to the side of the bed, lifting the covers. He lied down and crooked his arm behind his head.
I took that silent invitation and lied down beside him. Lavender and cotton washed away the iron scent in my lungs, sucked out the acrid air of alcohol. It left me with nothing but moonlight and Kane, a pale night and silver soul.
I turned my face into the heat of his heartbeat, and dreamt of the summer coming for me like a daylight storm as golden as my forbidden eyes.
(ty ty for reading, you all are very wonderful, very kind, and for that, i am forever thankful. i know this chapter is seriously all over the place so please bear with it haha. the little star is beyond thankful and is happy to say hello :DD )