Nagising ako dahil sa pagkakatama ng liwanag sa mukha ko galing sa labas. Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na at kay sakit na ng init na tumama sa mukha ko. As the morning sun got brighter, I got out of bed and decided to start my day, trying not to think about her.
It had been a whole week since we last saw each other. Even though I really wanted to see her, the situation between us made me hesitate.
I couldn't help but wonder how she was doing. I missed her a lot, more than I could put into words.
Lumabas ako ng kwarto at pumunta sa kusina. The house is massive, the living room is fully stocked, and every nook is decked out with countless paintings. Outside, there's a quaint little forest that stretches about 150 meters, perfect for a leisurely stroll.
Nagtimpla ako ng gatas habang nagluluto ng toasted bread pagtingin ko sa box ng cupcakes wala na itong laman. Ang bilis naubos ang layo pa naman ng bakery dito.
"Bakit hindi pa pumupunta si Dizza dito?" utal ko sa sarili ko.
Si Dizza ay katulong dito sa bahay, hi-nired siya ni dad para siya ang mag-alaga sa bahay pag walang tao inshort katiwala siya rito. We have the same age, naging kaibigan ko siya through the days na nandito ako. Dito siya minsan natutulog pero sa guest room, huwag kayong mag-isip nang masama, she's just doing her job. Siya rin mismo ang bumibili ng mga kailangan ko dito kasi mas alam niya ang lugar na to kaya labas masok lang ako sa bahay at garden.
I didn't want to go outside because I like being indoors, so I had my breakfast and drank the milk I had prepared. Gusto ko talagang kumain ng cupcake. Tiningnan ko ulit ang box ng cupcake para siguradohing may laman pa ito pero wala na talaga kaya napabuntong-hininga nalang ako.
What if bumili ako?
Siguro naman matutun-tun ko ang daan papunta sa bakeshop dito tapos pwede naman ako magtanong-tanong. I think malapit lang din naman keysa antayin ko pa si Dizza, baka mamaya pa ʼyon.
Napatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko at unakyat ulit papunta sa kwarto para magbihis ng masosuot.
Lalabas ako.
Kinuha ko ang susi ng kotse ko pagkatapos ko magbihis at bumaba para lumabas.
I quickly opened the door to go outside. I put on slippers because I'm only going to buy cupcakes, and wearing shoes seemed like too much effort.
As I approached the balcony, I noticed a pair of feet in high heels. Judging by their size and complexion, I had a feeling I knew whose legs they belonged to. My heart skipped a beat, and I froze in my tracks. My eyes widened when I saw the box of cupcakes in her arms. Hindi ko pa makita ang mukha nito because a flower was blocking it, but I had a strong hunch.
With cautious steps, I continue, I moved closer and saw the woman I had been longing to see but didn't want to.
She was asleep, cradling the box of cupcakes, and appeared exhausted from her position.
Anong oras siya nakarating dito at bakit alam niyang nandito ako?
Wala akong sinabihan maliban kina Raya, Savannah, Maam Vivien, at Charl.....
Charlotte!!!
However, witnessing her condition, my heart ached once more. Her posture evoked sympathy, and as I gazed at her face, I noticed its pallor and the unmistakable signs of exhaustion. How many hours had she traveled to get here?
Despite the turmoil of my thoughts, I mustered the strength to reenter the house, intending to lock myself away. The pain I had been enduring over the past few days had resurfaced with her arrival, but I couldn't simply leave her here in this state and walk away.
God knows how much I love this woman, sleeping before me.
Mabilis ko siyang binuhat. Ang gaan niya. Hindi ko alam kung kumakain pa ba ang isang to or hindi na. She's really unconscious. Habang buhat-buhat ko siyay tumingin ulit ako sa mga mukha nito, lupaypay, dry tears were palpable.
I could tell that her body was frail. My heart sank further as I gently lifted her unconscious form in a bridal-style hold, tracing her face with my eyes. Her eyes remained closed, and her pink lips and cheeks bore the scent of dried tears.
"Ma'am..." I whispered softly, but there was no response from her. With great care, I carried her inside and placed her on the living room sofa. Swiftly, I fetched a cozy blanket to cover her delicate body.
I knelt beside the sofa instead of sitting next to her to avoid disturbing her rest. With gentle strokes, I caressed her face, admiring her serene sleeping visage. I couldn't deny how much I had missed her. But I couldn't help but wonder why she was here.
Anticipating her eventual awakening, I rose from my spot and headed to the kitchen, preparing a meal for the both of us. She would need nourishment when she woke up.
Despite the clock reading 9 am, she remained in slumber. I finished cooking the meal and patiently waiting for her to wake up.
Nakaupo ako sa isang sofa habang tinitingnan pa rin siya natutulog nang bigla namang pumasok si Dizza, may dala rin itong box ng cupcake. Medyo nagulat siya nang nakita niya ang babaeng natutulog sa sofa.
"Hoy Jell? Sino ʼyan? May kinidnap ka ba habang wala ako?" mabilis nitong tanong sakin. Pumunta ito sa gawi ko.
"Gaga hindi, siraulo ka talaga." Balik ko dito.
"Ikaw ang bilis mo magtiwala ng tao, paano kung magnanakaw ʼyan tapos pinatuloy mo dito." Sagot nito sabay tanggal ng sinuot niyang coat.
"Ganyang mukha magnanakaw?" napatingin ito sakin tapos pinanindilatan ako.
"So pag magnanakaw pero maganda wala lang? You know, beauty can manipulate you." Nakangisi nitong sagot sabay lagay ng box ng cupcake sa table. Nakita niya namang may box na ng cupcake kaya gulat ulit itong napatingin sakin.
"Lumabas ka?" she inquired.
"Hindi." Tipid na sagot ko.
Napangiwi naman ito, "Ano yan?" turo nito sa box.
"Hindi ako ang may dala niyan," sabay tingin ko kay Ma'am Rhea na payapang natutulog.
Napatingin naman din si Dizza sa kanya at tumingin ulit sakin, "Sino ba kasi ʼyan?" tanong ulit nito.
"She's my wife..." I said.
Her eyebrows furrowed, "Weeeh?" she asked, ready to laugh at a slightest moment.
"Oo nga, asawa ko ʼyan." Seryoso kong sagot dito.
"Manahimik ka nga, walang sinabi si Mr. Anton na kasal ka na, ang kapal mo din sa part na papatulan ka niyang mala-dyosang babae na ʼyan. Mahiya ka naman." Natatawang sabi nito.
"Masyado ka ng namemersonal ah," sabi ko sabay ikot ng mata ko sa kanya. Tawang-tawa pa rin siya sa sinabi niya samantalang ako gusto ko na siya ibalibag.
"Alam mo lumabas ka na lang para hindi kita tsinilasin, chu! chu!" pagtataboy ko dito.
"Hindi pa ako kumakain pwedeng kumain muna ako?" tanong nito.
"Sige basta don't ubos the food ah." I answered.
"Conyo niyo talagang mga mayayaman!" asik nito sabay punta sa kusina.
Naghintay ako ng minuto bago lumabas si Dizza, may pupuntahan lang daw siya tapos babalik siya mamaya at siya na raw ang bibili ng uulamin mamayang gabi.
10am na at nakamasid pa rin ako sa mahimbing na tulog niya. Hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ba ako kasi halata sa mukha nito ang puyat at stress. Umaga na siya umabot dito so basically gabi siya bumyahe ng mag-isa.
Lumapit ulit ako dito at umupo sa tabi niya, caressing her delicate in slumber face.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered softly, cherishing the sight of her before me. I acknowledged her mistakes, but I also acknowledged my own. I had acted hastily, not waiting for her explanation and making decisions without careful consideration.
As my fingers traced her face, I observed her eyes slowly opening. In an instant, her hand reached for the shirt I was wearing, as if to make sure I wouldn't leave. Her weary eyes met mine, and a gentle smile graced her lips, but a hint of sadness lingered in her gaze.
"Jael..." She whispered with a fragile voice, her fingers clutching my shirt.
I met her gaze but remained silent.
"I'm prepared to explain everything... please, just let me," she implored, her voice tinged with sadness and determination.
I withdrew my hand from gently tracing her face, but she moved quickly, catching my hand instantly. Her grip was firm as I fought back the tears threatening to escape down my cheek.
"I've been in a dark phase of my life since you left me... I tried to find refuge within myself, but I couldn't because... because you weren't with me," she confessed, cradling my hand in hers. "Jael... please, be my refuge once more."
Once more, I yielded to her presence. Her touch was cold, her body frail, but determination radiated from her.
"I tried so hard para kalimutan ka, but you never truly left my thoughts, and my heart continued to ache for you," I confessed, wrestling with my emotions. "When is the right time?" I asked.
"This... this is the right time. I've prepared myself," she replied. Her eyes still held exhaustion, her face remained pale, and her body felt cold, but there was a warmth in her words.
I can't stay mad at her. I've been through a lot but what about her? Sigurado akong marami siyang pinagdadaanan na hindi ko alam. I was just so selfish to the point na hindi ko hinayaan ang sarili kong maging pahinga niya kasi mas iniisip ko ang sarili ko not knowing she also has a reason for all of this.
As our eyes locked once more, I noticed her eyelids growing heavier, as if she was trying to resist sleep.
"You should rest more, hindi pa kaya ng katawan mo." I suggested, tenderly caressing her hand.
"I'm better now, you're here," she insisted. "The only time I don't feel better is when you're not with me."
With that, a smile played on my lips as I watched her eyelids gently close once more, signaling her return to slumber. Her body certainly needed the rest, and my heart was content knowing she was by my side once again. Her words eased my heartache, and I understood that she was willing to reveal everything. For now, she needs to rest.
It's true that even though brightness may fear the darkness, when you are whole, you can embrace it willingly. Her dedication was evident, and I understood that she was prepared to go to great lengths to be with me.
"Maghihintay ako." I whispered in her slumber.
Hinayaan ko siyang magpahinga muna. Hindi pa siya kumakain kaya nababahala rin ako, marami na akong niluto para sa kanya kaya I'll make sure na mauubos niya ito mamaya.
Alas tres na at hindi pa rin siya gumigising, medyo kinakabahan na ako baka totally hindi na siya magising sa hindi niya pagkain. Ilang oras na din akong nakamasid sa kanya at sumasakit na ang pwet ko kakaupo sa sofa. Lumapit ako dito at umupo ulit sa tabi niya, dahan-dahan kong tinapik ang mukha niya para magising siya.
"Ma'am?" tawag ko dito pero tulog pa rin, "Ma'am naman... wag kang manakot." Reklamo ko.
Halata talaga sa mukha ko ang pagkabahala. Baka kung ano pa ang mangyari sa kanya, tangina, papakasalan ko pa to.
Nang nakailang tapik na ako dito ay bumukas naman ang mata niya kaya nabunutan ng tinik ang dibdib ko.
"Thank God.." I said.
Nakatingin lang ito sakin pagkakuway tinaas ang dalawang kamay kaya agad ko namang kinuha ito, urging her to sit down pero nang nakaupo na siya ay agad naman ako nitong niyakap nang mahigpit.
I couldn't break free from her embrace, and she had buried her face against my flat stomach while I stood beside the sofa.
"You really need to eat," I insisted, but she continued to disregard my words, her arms remaining tightly wrapped around me.
"Ma'am?" I inquired once more, but she gave no response. So, I delicately cradled her head, gently turning it to see her face. That's when I noticed it -her eyes were closed, and she had drifted back into sleep.
Wala akong magawa kaya binuhat ko siya papunta sa kitchen habang tulog.
Kahit tulog to susubuan ko to ng pagkain sa bunganga.
Pinaupo ko siya sa upuan kahit nakasarado pa ang mga mata nito, walang pagdadalawang isip ko itong sinubuan ng pagkain kahit tulog na nakaupo.
"Mmmm," utal nito.
Ayaw mo kasing gumising.
Kahit nakapikit pa ang mata nito ay tinanggap naman nito ang pagkain na nasa kutsara. Isang subo, dalawa, tatlo, sunod-sunod na pakain ko sa kanya halos maubos ang pagkain na nasa plato kaya nawala ang pagkabahala ko pero ayon nga lang, nakapikit pa rin siya.
"Water," sabi ko sabay painom sa kanya ng tubig sa baso. With that, ibinuka niya ang mata niya at tumingin sakin.
"It feels like I'm dreaming.." Saad niya sakin.
Tumingin lang ako sa kanya at hinatid ang plato sa sink kaya naiwan siya sa mesa.
"Where's my cupcakes?" she asked. Napatingin ako sa kanya, hinahanap niya ang cupcake na binili niya yata kagabi.
"Nasa table, ma'am." Tipid kong sagot dito.
Acting cold pero sa totoo lang malapit na ako bumigay.
Mabilis itong tumayo na parang hindi galing sa tulog tsaka bumalik na dala ang dalawang box ng cupcakes.
"Who bought you this?" she asked, holding the two boxes.
"M-me..." Pagsisinungaling ko.
Sabay kaming napatingin nang biglang pumasok si Dizza sa kitchen na may hawak na pinamili niya.
"Jel-" putol na tawag nito sakin tapos tumingin kay Ma'am Rhea.
Dizza was left utterly speechless as she met Ma'am Rhea's intense gaze. That penetrating look then shifted to me, and it was clear that a confrontation was on the horizon.
The room fell into a heavy silence no one uttered a word, just frozen in place.
"Gising na pala siya, Jell?" Dizza finally spoke.
"Uh, pakilagay nalang ng binili mo sa mesa, Dizz." I responded hesitantly.
Ma'am Rhea's unwavering gaze remained fixed on us. Tinulungan kong ilagay ang mga binili ni Dizz, ramdam kong natatakot din si Dizz sa tingin ng isa kaya napatingin ito sakin tapos ngumuso.
"Ang sungit naman n'yan." Bulong nito sakin.
Sasagot na sana ako nang biglang lumabas siya sa kitchen.
"Tama nga pala sinabi mo, suyuin mo na." Natatawang sabi ni Dizz sakin. Inikot ko nalang ang mata ko at sinundan ang babaeng lumabas.
As I entered the living room, I realized she wasn't there. Instead, I spotted her shadow heading toward the garden through another door, so I hastily followed her.
"Shit!" she exclaimed, walking briskly.
"Ma'am!" I called out, pursuing her. However, she paid no attention to me and continued walking away.
"Ma'am! Saan ka pupunta?" I asked, raising my voice.
"You shit!" she shouted again, still not facing me, and continued her stride.
"Ma'am! It's not what you think!" I insisted, attempting to keep up with her pace. I reached for her wrist and held it, causing her to finally turn and glare at me with anger, her brows furrowing deeply.
"Don't come near me, you womanizer!" she snapped, pushing me away.
"Womanizer?" I questioned, perplexed.
"Is this your way of moving on? Is this how you're trying to forget me?" she shouted, her frustration driving her to continue shoving me.
"Ma'am, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying to grasp her hand, but she resisted.
"It's only been a week, Jael! And you're already with a girl you've replaced me with!?" she yelled, her voice firm and filled with anger.
"Please, just listen..." I calmly pleaded.
"Listen to you!? She even calls you by the same name I used to call you!" she groaned in exasperation.
Jael at Jell, parehas ba? Ang layo naman ah.
"Ma'am, just listen," I implored once more, attempting to soothe her.
"Stay away from me! Go back and be with her!" She retorted, pushing me once more before walking away.
I let out a sigh of resignation, feeling frustrated by her jealousy regarding our maid. Placing my hands on my hips, I couldn't help but shake my head in exasperation.
Sinundan ko pa rin siya at patakbo akong sumusunod sa kanya, hindi talaga siya nakikinig. Napatigil ako nang tumigil siya tapos may pinulot na hulog na mansanas, tumingin ulit sakin ito at binato sakin iyon. Sobrang takot ko sa ginawa niya kaya mabilis akong umilag buti nalang hindi ako natamaan.
Mabilis na naman itong naglakad papalayo sakin kaya wala akong nagawa kundi abutin siya.
"You have no idea how lonely I've been without you by my side these past few days. I even contemplated kneeling down just to find out where you were and reach you. Meanwhile, you're here, enjoying your time with another woman, while I've been suffering!" she expressed her frustration as she walked, her voice filled with anguish, and I couldn't help but shake my head.
"That's not true!" I tried to keep up with her strides, but it was difficult.
"Not true? Damn you, Freyja! Damn you!" she continued to vent her frustrations.
It was the first time she had ever addressed me by my name, and I must admit, I didn't like it one bit.
Binilisan ko ang takbo ko at naabutan ko siya sa wakas. Hinawakan ko agad ang kamay niya at iniharap siya sakin. Bakas pa rin ang galit nito sa mukha.
"Don't!" sigaw nito sakin sabay tulak, "Touch me!" she continued.
I maintained my focus on her as she continued to push me, allowing her to release her pent-up anger. Gradually, her strength dwindled, and she leaned her head against my chest.
"You're a two-timer," she whispered weakly. I couldn't help but mentally chuckle at her suspicion, knowing that I had also yearned to see her and be with her again. Her absence had caused me suffering too.
Without hesitation, I tenderly lifted her head, and our eyes met as she looked at me weakly. Without further delay, I leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss. I gave her a tender, thoughtful kiss. She didn't complain or push me either. She embraced my kiss and our lips began to move. While our lips were doing their work, her arms slowly wrapped around my neck, and I wrapped mine around her waist.
After days of being apart, our lips continued to move in sync as we expressed how much we had missed each other through that kiss. As we pulled away, our breaths were ragged, and our eyes locked onto each other.
"Did you kiss her too?" she inquired, her finger pointing at my lips.
"Why would I kiss our maid?" I replied, chuckling.
"Y-your maid?" her eyes widened in surprise, realizing she had acted impulsively.
"Dizza is our maid here. My dad trusted her to look after our house," I explained, my arms still wrapped around her waist.
She avoided meeting my eyes and stammered, "A-are you s-sure?"
"100% sure," I reassured her.
"Why does she call you Jell? Does she like you?" she asked again.
"It's spelled J E L L, not J A E L," I clarified.
"Sounds the same," she rolled her eyes at me.
"It may sound the same, but the spelling is different. There's a distinction, right?" I pointed out.
"Are you protecting her?" she questioned, her eyes piercing once more.
"No, I was simply informing you," I replied.
Her arms remained around my neck, but an abrupt silence fell upon us.
"Jael..." she whispered, locking eyes with me. "You don't love me anymore, do you?" she asked, her tears on the brink of flowing.
Oh God. If only this woman knows how much I love her.
"It's like you're asking a river to stop flowing, ma'am," I remarked.
"Do you hate me now?" Her voice trembled.
"I don't hate you, please don't say that," I reassured her, gently caressing her face.
"With the things I've done to you, I feel like you're beginning to despise me," she uttered weakly.
"I will never do that..." I answered.
"Why did you leave me? I was suffering. It hurts not to see you, not to be in your arms," she cried, her face resembling a child who had lost her candy.
"I left because it hurts that you didn't explain anything to me," I replied, gently wiping her tears away.
"I'm ready to explain everything now... please don't leave me again," she spoke softly. I caressed her face and kissed her to reassure her, and she warmly accepted my lips, finding reassurance once more.
As our lips parted, she kissed me again, but this time it was soft and tender.
"I love you. I love you so much. Jael, I can't bear to lose you." She declared, and our lips met again in a passionate embrace.