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"You're one of a kind, and no one understands
But those cry baby tears, keep coming back again"
- Melanie Martinez, cry baby
_____________
"Hyung! Again?"
Sunoo scrunches his nose at the view, not even daring to touch the bag in front of him. He puts down the containers he had in his hands on the counter with a sigh, eyeing the fridge pensively. He simply doesn't have the space to put the dinner leftovers when there are other things taking place in the fridge.
"What's going on?" he hears Jungwon's voice from the living room.
"Heeseung-hyung put his blood bags in the main fridge. Again."
Jungwon starts to complain from where he is, his tone more teasing than actually accusing, and the eldest comes in the kitchen with an apology on his lips. He looks guilty, probably aware that it isn't exactly comfortable for Sunoo to come across these.
"You know, Jongeseong-hyung bought the mini-fridge for a reason," Sunoo pouts.
"Sorry Sunoo-yah, old habits die hard."
Heeseung ruffles his hair, stealing a smile from the youngest who cannot keep his act up for longer. Still, he motions for the other to take his bags out of the fridge, and Heeseung complies, moving the guilty items to where they should actually be in.
The mini-fridge was one of the latest additions to the dorm, a courtesy of Jay who had had enough of the necessary blood bags taking up so much space in their fridge, especially after the incident of Niki accidentally knocking one out and drenching the floor in blood. Cleaning it had been pretty difficult and annoying, and according to the werewolves, the scent had lingered in the kitchen for days later. Sunoo wouldn't know about it, but he assumed it wasn't exactly an ideal situation to be in for them.
"Yeah, the company should have gotten us another fridge before you made it your habit of storing them in our communal fridge."
"You know, they wanted to keep us humble, they didn't want to give out dorm upgrades just like that."
"Yeah yeah I get it, they don't want us to be spoiled and earn it and all that, but we are asking for accommodation for a reason. They can't just treat us like a regular group."
In all seriousness, he doesn't get why the company refused to get them one from the very beginning. Really, he gets their whole point about being humble and not getting privileges before earning them—really he did. But accommodations weren't privileges, and the company shouldn't treat them like any other group when they weren't one in the first place.
It was the simple truth. While it wasn't uncommon for groups to have vampire, or a couple werewolves, it was unusual to mix them up in the same group. Most people agreed that such a group was bound to fail—because there had been tries before, and they had been unsuccessful.
The general public tended to appreciate vampires, mainly due to their mythic portrayal. They were seen as noble and aristocratic, and even if things started to change ever since they adapted to the human world, it stuck with their names. And so most groups had a vampire within their line-up, just to spice things up and attract fans.
Things were different with werewolves. If the public appreciated the royal vibe that the vampires gave their group, they thought werewolves gave them a rough image. They weren't known for their manners or their unnatural beauty that only vampires were thought to be able to achieve. Werewolves were rough and strong creatures, they were territorial. They could shape-shift. The industry thought it attracted people less, which wasn't true at all, in Sunoo's humble opinion. Nonetheless, they fit some concepts and were featured more and more in groups.
So no, a couple werewolves or a vampire in a group weren't rare. But to have a group that was half-vampire, half-werewolf, with the oddity that they only had a human in the lineup—that was strange.
"We had different ones during I-Land," Sunoo continues, "and other accommodations as well. So why not now?"
"Well, there are many reasons-"
"Because they had health regulations to follow during I-Land," Sunghoon chimes in, "but no one is here to keep them in check anymore so they don't care."
"Yep, that," Heeseung says.
Sunoo groans in response, he's got the feeling there are other reasons why the company cares less about these things anymore, reasons such as his presence in the group and his own human nature, but he doesn't want to talk about it. He pushes these thoughts aside as unfunded ones and focuses on putting the full containers in the fridge now that space is available.
"When are the others coming?" he asks to Sunghoon.
He shrugs, before Jungwon's voice comes from the living room, loud so that he can be heard.
"Jay-hyung texted, they are on their way back!"
"I wonder what took them so much time, they are usually here by dinner."
And by usually, he means all the time. He would know, since it happens every month since debut, and even before that. Every month, Jay, Jake and Niki would leave the night right before the full moon, only to come later during the day that followed. But it happened around noon, or at least after lunch—not so late that it was already dark outside.
"Maybe it happened," Hesseung says.
And he doesn't even have to specify what he is talking about, as the others are thinking about it as well. Sunoo crosses his fingers and hopes that Heeseung is right. As the days passed and Niki's eighteenth birthday approached, they got their hopes up a teach of their monthly visits at the center. And the youngest boy grew more and more impatient.
As he was making his way to the living room, the front door opened. Sunoo hears some commotion, the sound of shoes coming off and then sees Riki storming off to their shared room without a word to the others. They can only exchange a knowing look, aware of what must have happened, as the door slams behind the youngest.
The two elder werewolves appear in the living room shortly after, and Jake lets himself fall on the couch right next to Jungwon.
"m'so tired," he mutters to no one in particular, and it brings a smile to the leader's lips.
He starts to rub circles on the elder's back, shooting him a sympathetic look, "How come Jay hyung is always more energetic after a full moon compared to you?"
He doesn't answer, the only sound leaving his lips being a content sigh at Jungwon's touch.
"Well for starters," Jay appears back from the kitchen where he had disappeared, a glass of water in his hand, "I sleep enough the night before my transformation."
Jake groans in response, his words half muffled as he hid his face between the decorative pillows, "You know that I can't sleep before these nights."
"Stop taking all the place," Jay nudges him on the shoulder, but does not make any movement to sit down on the couch. He gives him the glass water instead, which Jake accepts wholeheartedly.
The explanations about what they do these nights at the center were usually pretty vague, and Sunoo never really asked for more, afraid of crossing a line. To his knowledge, they have access to a forest where they can transform and indulge in wolf activities for the whole night, before getting a check-up and getting sent back home. The pups—the werewolves that didn't get their first transformation yet—would stay in a dorm by the center, so that any potential transformation could be dealt with. He cannot fathom the idea of being in an animal form for an entire night and appreciating it, but he knows that he can't really put himself in the shoes of a werewolf. It must feel good for them, although probably exhausting if he had to judge by the deep sleep Jake and Jay would give into the following night.
"Everything is alright with Riki?" Heeseung's voice cuts down some conversation going on in the background about the latest gossip of what had happened at the center.
Jay sighs, shooting a concerned glare at their door, "He didn't transform."
The "again" was unspoken but hung in the air. The atmosphere suddenly weighted more on Sunoo's shoulders, worry settling into his stomach. Receiving this news after each of their returns became a routine that they wished would be broken, dreaming of the day they'd come back to the news of the youngest transformation. However, the same scenario would repeat every time.
This time, though, Riki looked more upset than usual.
"He still has time for it, doesn't he?" Jungwon asks.
Jay nods, "Technically," he says. "But he's growing more and more upset over it."
"Yeah, I could see that," Sunghoon comments.
Usually, the youngest would express his disappointment in his silence, he would just disappear in his room and talk less for the following days, before giving in to the others' encouragements. If he was a loud person usually, when it came to those things, he dealt with them best in silence and alone even if it weren't always for the best. However, he did carry an anger they weren't used to with him today and expressed it with the slammed doors.
"Two other pups transformed today," Jake ends up giving as an explanation. "One of them is only fourteen, I believe."
"And they are from different packs, so it ended up with a fight in their dorm."
"Just what he needed to see," Sunoo sighs.
He is no specialist but fourteen did seem like a pretty young age to transform.
"Their fight is the reason today's check-up took longer, too. It started with the two new werewolves, but ended up involving some of the pups," Jake continues.
"Is Riki fine? Did he fight too?"
"No, don't worry, he didn't," Jay is quick to calm the eldest's worries. "The two new wolves were released in the forest with the rest of us, but caused disruption in there as well."
Jake wrinkled his nose, "They didn't respect their own pack area. We had a whole meeting about that, too."
The others grimaced at the sentence in sympathy. If there is one thing that they knew about the center, it was that each pack had its own area, and not respecting it resulted in violent fights. Tension exists between some werewolf idols to this day because of these disrespectful violations to this day. Still, it was fortunate that the center they went to was an idols only one. It was more secured for sure.
Sunoo looks back at the hallway that leads to their room, and debates going in there. He was torn between the idea of giving the youngest some more space, as he would probably appreciate some himself in a similar position, or joining him and offering him his presence. He couldn't accept the idea that Niki was probably spiraling into self-deprecating thoughts, too harsh on himself as always.
"I'll go see him," he ends up announcing.
"Shouldn't we give him some space?"
Sunoo bites his lip, "I'll come back if he doesn't want me there."
And without hesitating further, he makes his way to his room and opens the door slightly.
"Can I come in?"
It is hard to see anything in the room, courtesy of Jake who had specifically requested blackout curtains for an optimal sleep time for them. But Sunoo hears a muffled huff, a non-verbal agreement for his presence.
As his eyes adjustes to the darkness of the room, he sees the maknae sprawled on his bed, face buried in his pillow. Sunoo ruffles the visible mop of hair and smiles as Niki leans into his touch. For a while, that's all they have; Niki silently asking for comfort and Sunoo giving it to him, his heart aching at the sight of his member in this situation.
"What do you want?" the youngest ends up asking, and Sunoo scoffs.
"Can't I just want to see my favorite dongsaeng?"
"Don't let Jungwon hyung hear that."
The response is quick, "He is my favorite group leader."
Niki's head moves a little bit, half of his face now visible to Sunoo.
"Now don't let Jay hyung hear this," he says, and the elder is happy to hear a teasing edge in his voice.
"And he is my favorite pack leader."
He can't really make up Niki's expression, his eyesight not developed enough to see that much, but he can sense the youngest expression softening as he fixes his gaze on Sunoo.
"Can I get in?" he asks. "The bed, I mean."
He does't need to give any more precision, sharing a bed was practically routine to them now. Niki would swear that he is too old to share anymore, that he isn't a kid, and would deny getting in Sunoo's bed even after waking up in there in the morning. But he could never flat-out refuse his hyung's presence.
At Niki's nod, Sunoo makes his way under the covers, his head resting right next to the other's. They stay like this, drawn in a comfortable silence. Sunoo observes the ceiling, listening to the Japanese boy's breathing pattern, before he hears a shift in the constancy and understands that he'll be breaking the silence.
"The doctor said that it could be delayed because of the stress. You know, idol life."
Exhaustion is so easy to grasp in the youngest's voice, it hurts Sunoo. He feels the pain settling between his ribs, right where his heart is, at the reminder of how young the boy had been even before debut, back during I-Land. He had always been so mature, despite his constant teasing, that it was easy to forget that he had only been fourteen. The weight that came along with their activities wasn't easy to deal with, especially not for teenagers kilometers away from their home.
"It's not even delayed, Riki" the given name rolls easily on his tongue, like it did whenever Sunoo tried to comfort him, "You've got eight full months 'til it is considered as such."
He can't really see Riki move in the darkness of the room, not gifted with his members' night vision, but he hears the sheets shift and feels the youngest gaze on him.
"Eighteen is an approximation. Most people turn before that."
Jake or Jay's presence would have been great, at this very moment, as they would probably have the right words to reassure the boy. Maybe a story about a cousin who transformed later, but was more powerful than the rest of the family. But to his despair, their two other roommates aren't present in the room, so Sunoo can't count on their werewolf encouraging tales. He wonders if these things still have any effect on Riki, as he's probably been told these a million times before, after every unsuccessful attempt at completing the last step before being considered a full wolf.
"Maybe," he acknowledges, "but there is nothing wrong with presenting later than that."
Riki sighs, not convinced.
"I'm the oldest 'pup' there, hyung," he says and Sunoo sees him mimicking the quotation mark with his hands. "It's embarrassing."
"It is not," he insists. "It doesn't matter when you present, anyway. You'll be so strong. The strongest of them all."
The youngest shifts under the sheets, and Sunoo can already imagine his expression as he says, "I'm already strong."
Sunoo ruffles his hair, and he knows that the boy appreciates it, despite the face he was most likely pulling.
"And you'll be even stronger. Don't let these things get to your head, huh? Who cares about age, it's going to end up happening either way."
He receives no verbal answer but feels Riki nudging closer to him. He's always been more of a hugger, and Sunoo fears that it is going to be worse once his nose develops and he can officially start picking up smells and scenting them. Sunoo might not be the first one to indulge into skin ship, but he'll make sure to let Riki scent him as much as he wants once he transforms.
"You should go eat something, there is still dinner left."
But the youngest only sinks his head more into the pillow.
"I'm not hungry," he whispers.
"You're still a growing boy, Riki, you shouldn't skip food," Sunoo complains, patting his head.
"We ate at the center, it's all good. Let's sleep."
And Sunoo knows better than to push more, so he lets himself be swallowed by the soft bed as well, closing his eyes.
"Okay. Good night, Riki-san."
"'night, hyung."
_______________
"You know, I think it's unfair that we don't get a rest day as well."
Sunoo scoffs at Sunghoon, "I mean, it's not like we're the ones who spent the night chasing after squirrels or something."
The elder looks up from where he is laying and eyes him, speechless.
"What?" Sunoo asks. "I don't know what else they could be doing in wolf form for hours."
"Why would they be chasing squirrels of all things?"
"I don't know, what do wolves chase?"
"How would I know? I'm a vampire!"
It was logical for Jake and Jay to be given a day off after their transformations, if you were to ask Sunoo. He might not be that familiar with transformations, but they definitely seemed tiring. According to Jay's words, "It's freeing, but with a great transformation comes the great need to sleep for a thousand years." Knowing the guy, it just sounded like an excuse for him not to get woken up early in the morning, but Jake did sleep like the dead after those nights, so they all collectively decided to trust Jay's words on the matter and not attract the furry of a tired werewolf. No pun intended.
And so group activities were all aligned with the moon phases, no variety shows or public appearances were allowed for them too close to full moons. Which meant that the other members would get their solo schedule those days.
"Well, I've never seen Twilight, so really, can you blame me?"
Sunghoon, who is taking all the place on the couch of the dance room, throws a towel to his face.
"Don't you dare bring that nightmare up! Do you know how many times people asked me if I actually turn in to a disco-ball under the sun because of it?"
"Well," Sunoo smirks, "do you?"
He is smacked with another towel as an answer. Sunoo throws the offending tissue on the ground next to him with a wet thud, grimacing at the sound.
"Did you throw your dirty towel at me? Gross, hyung!"
"That's for comparing me to that Cullen guy!"
"You know his name and all? Sounds like you enjoyed the movies to me!"
Fortunately for Sunoo, Sunghoon doesn't have any other towels to throw at him. What is less fortunate, however, is the fact that Sunghoon doesn't mind throwing himself on top of the boy. His hands go up to his waist in an attempt to tickle him, but Sunoo wraps his legs around Sunghoon and overthrows him to his side, a burst of laughter following the movement.
"How are you so strong?" Sunghoon asks in between two sharp breath intakes as he tries to avoid being tickled by Sunoo.
"Well mister the vampire, I did hapkid—oof hyung!" he giggles as Sunghoon's hand tickles his underarms.
"Excuse me you did what? Hapkidoof?"
They continue to wrestle on the floor, Sunoo using his naturally stronger lower body to counter Sunghoon's vampire strength. He isn't exactly inhumanly strong as people used to believe vampires were before, simply stronger than the average man who did not workout.
"I'll hapkidoof your ass—"
"Is that a way to talk to your hyung you brat!"
They don't hear the sound of the door opening but are stopped by the sound of laughter. Sunoo tries to look up, but he can't exactly move as Sunghoon has him in a headlock. He doesn't need to see them to recognize the voices, though.
"Oh my God, hyungs, get a room!"
"Does it look like I'm enjoying this, Jungwon-ah? I'm a suffering man!" Sunoo says as he kicks his feet to the floor.
The motion only receives more laughter, and he joins in.
"Suffering? When you just said you'd hapkidoof my ass?"
"You started!"
"No, you did by comparing me to a Twilight character!"
"Oof," came Niki's voice, "It seems to me like you deserved it, hyung."
Sunoo once again used his legs to free himself from Sunghoon's hold, and he can finally sit down. Sunghoon's hair are a mess and his clothes are disheveled, and he assumes his own aren't much better.
"Traitors, all of you!"
"You love us," Heeseung says.
Sunoo sticks a tongue as an answer and rolls on his tummy to avoid getting Heeseung to join in their tickle war.
He stays on the floor as the others go to set up their materials, and he hears Niki connecting his phone to the speaker. The comeback was barely two weeks away, and most of the preparations were done. The MV had been filmed, the photoshoots wrapped, and they had recorded the songs already. Heeseung, Niki, and Jungwon had been called for some last-minute touch-up, something about re-recording a line or completing their credits in the album, Sunoo didn't really know. Sunghoon and himself came to the company along with them and worked on some of the dance moves they wanted to adjust.
Today, as two of the members were lacking, they had planned on practicing some of the B-side dances. It wasn't really possible for them to practice Bite me correctly without the performers or two of their members, so they would do their best with the other songs.
"Up, hyung! We are going over Sacrifice!"
Sunoo gets up, and the music swallows the room. As he dances, his eyes leave his own reflection every now and then and go over to Niki. The maknae, despite the fact that he is usually offered to take the day off as well, comes to practice every time. He had a different excuse all the time, but he insisted that since he hadn't transformed the previous night, he had no reason to rest. Still, Sunoo gets the feeling that Niki doesn't have a peaceful sleep those nights at the center.
Caught up in his thoughts, he sees Niki noticing his eyes on him and quickly concentrates back on his own moves in the mirror. He knows that the youngest hates getting all of this attention when the topic is his transformation, so Sunoo wants anything but to make him uncomfortable. He trusts Niki with his judgments and knows better than to interfere with things he wouldn't want people to stuff their noses into if he was in his situation.
So he'll let it be, and keep on hoping for the best. Hopefully, Niki will be able to transform soon enough.
-
Notes :
I haven't posted on wattpad for a while, so here it is! I truly hope i've managed to use the tags correctly?
Anyways let me know your thoughts! Just so you know, this is cross-posted on ao3!