To the one person I have ever truly loved.
Around August, I think.
Glory. That is it, nothing else, no other word, my head is currently hot, and my heart is sinking, which is that constant ache that has everything to do with you.
Something Mending is at 1k reads on Wattpad, I don't know if it was today, or yesterday, maybe even last week, It is a thing of celebration, but it feels like cheating, since I started with you.
Right now, I am living with someone I deeply loathe, not because of anything, just because she is not you. I sent a voice note to myself this afternoon, and I was almost crying, so had to stop the voice note.
I think it is sad, the way I am mourning the ghost of someone that is no longer there, because when I saw you few weeks ago, I couldn't recognize you, I mean there was bits and bits of the girl I used to know, but you were mostly gone, and laughing with your new bestfriend, which, I won't lie, killed me a little, because, Glory, I would have died for you, but it's okay, parts of me died when you left, almost all of me died when you left.
A poem -- dancing with your ghost, by Tangible was read, and I really wanted to say something about it, something along the lines of -- I am currently dancing with the ghost of my bestfriend, I have been dancing with her ghost for years, I have to hold on, and now, despite realizing that the person I have been mourning is a ghost, I just can't stop.
I feel like this is something I will write for a while before I get all the words out, and the point will be that I am sorry for everything, and miss you, stupidly. I use to think you were my endgame, and now, I am starting to see myself as the endgame.
This is a piece that spans over a month, because there was the shock of seeing you and realizing I have been mourning the ghost of who you used to be, the shock had to wear off, and the realization had to set in. It has been almost a month since I saw you, and it still hasn't set in.
Glory. Glory. Glory.