Seeing Isaac's mood rapidly decline, Jasmine was fervently searching her brain for something comforting to say.
She came up with nothing.
There were moments in a person's life when no words could change anything. They couldn't heal the festering wounds nor lift the mood that had fallen into the abyss of sorrow. No matter how powerful the words could usually be, this time, Jasmine failed to find a way to use them effectively.
"Give us some guns," Jasmine blurted out to Dereck in a desperate effort to change the subject.
The moment the words came out, she realized that she should have worded them more carefully because, in trying to distract Isaac from his pain, she forgot that being human didn't work like that. Most people were uncomfortable with directness, and when you needed something from them, you had to build up to it, something Jasmine wasn't good at even before everything turned so utterly bad.
"Excuse me?" Derek asked distractedly, as he was half participating in the conversation and half checking on the idiots that he was stuck with so they wouldn't make any critical mistakes.
"I mean, it sure would be helpful if you guys could spare my little group some guns," Jasmine said, trying to remember how persuasive people talked as she was never one of those. "After all, there are more children than adults, and we sure could use any type of protection we could get."
Even though she was only speaking the truth, Jasmine felt uncomfortable. It was like she was using the children to get what she wanted, like she was being dishonest. It reminded her of what her family used to do when trying to convince her to do something. It wasn't something she ever did.
"Won't you come to your niece's birthday party?" her mother said disapprovingly. "She will be so disappointed that her favorite aunt doesn't consider her birthday party important enough to come. It will crush her that you chose to spend time with other people's children and not with her."
"But, Mom, spending time with other people's children is my job," Jasmine said, desperately trying to explain herself, to justify her absence. "I can't just leave my job whenever I want, even though I really wish I could spend the birthday with Monica."
"Very well, crush the little girl's heart," her mother said dramatically. "It wouldn't be the first time you do something like that."
"I am sorry, but I can't do that," Dereck said carefully. "There might not be a government to answer to, but I still can't go around giving weapons to civilians. What if you turn them against us? Besides, we barely have enough weapons to go around because the main military forces took a lot of guns with them, not sure what they thought they would accomplish. It didn't do them any good."
His words snapped her out of her short but painful dive into the past, cutting at her hope like a knife.
That day with her mother, she allowed herself to be manipulated because she didn't want to fail them, almost losing her job. This time, Jasmine was unsuccessful even after using her mother's manipulation tactics. It was like no matter what she did, she was destined to fail.
"But aren't you supposed to protect us?" Isaac, who had been quiet until that moment, asked. "Isn't that like your job description or something?"
"Yes, kid, it is, but when we signed up to be reservists, no one mentioned any aliens," Dereck responded angrily. "We didn't anticipate this would happen, and now that it did, we need to think of our survival first."
"That's selfish and cowardly!" Isaac exclaimed vehemently. "I am sure that the A team would have helped us!"
"Maybe you are right kid, but we can't save you," Dereck said, sighing deeply. "I am not sure we can even save ourselves."
Jasmine wanted to hate them for their selfishness; she wished she could despise them for turning their backs on them, but she couldn't. It was understandable that they wanted to increase their own chances of survival. In the post-apocalyptic world, it was always every man for himself, and she understood that. They were lucky that they didn't just kill them on sight. Still, it pained her to realize that her mission would not only be a complete failure but that her wound would also be an additional hindrance to everyone.
Seeing their crestfallen expressions, Dereck opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. It felt like the right words were stuck in his throat, choking him.
"We can escort you to a safe place," Dereck said clumsily, sounding unsure about the word safe. "Or wherever you are going from here."
Clearly, Dereck wasn't a bad guy, nor a good guy. He was something the books and movies never really focused on, just a regular guy trying to survive. In all the things Jasmine had seen and read, there were always these representations of the main characters, the good guys, and those awful people who wanted to harm them. But Jasmine realized that, in reality, it wasn't like that. Everyone was doing their best to survive and not going out of their way to hurt others or help them.
"That won't be necessary," Jasmine said, grimacing from the sharp pain that went through her wound as she tried to make her posture more confident. "Isaac and I got this. If you can't give us any weapons, we don't need anything else from you."
Getting someone to carry her back to their hideout would have been great, but Jasmine worried that if anyone knew where they were, human or not, that might put the others in danger. And even though she gained nothing from her little adventure, she didn't want to add additional negative points by making things worse for them.
"Oh, by the way," Jasmine said as a sudden thought popped up. "Why don't you just stay here? Your base seems safe enough from their weird signals? What is it made from?"
"The signal doesn't penetrate the walls probably because it was built like a nuclear shelter, so it's sturdier than your average military building," Dereck said, surprised by the turn Jasmine's questioning had taken. "However, they don't only use the signal. They have other tactics, and their technology is far more advanced than ours. The safest bet is to go into hiding, as they already know where we are. Then, one day, we'll figure out how to defeat them."
Jasmine wasn't sure if that was the best option, but she could understand his logic. It was debatable whether the building could withstand a direct physical assault even though it stopped the signal. Maybe it wasn't worth the risk when they knew so little about the enemy's technology.
It made sense to know thy enemy before confronting it. But it sure would have been nice to have a secure place at one's disposal instead of wandering around like a nomad.
"Josef," Dereck shouted after a short period of uncomfortable silence, looking around for the clumsiest guy in his group.
"Yes, sir," Josef said, back to his more or less good-soldier mode.
"Bring them one large bag of rations," Dereck said determinedly.
"But, sir, we are low on rations as it is and..." Josef started to say, his cheeks slowly turning red.
"We owe them at least that much after you shot her for no reason and all that," Dereck said sternly like a father trying to be strict with his favorite child and barely succeeding. "Besides, we can hunt for food. We have enough weapons, and they don't."
"Yes, sir," Josef said, hurrying off.
The back of his neck was so bright red that it looked like the red traffic light.
"It's not much, but at least you won't be leaving empty-handed," Dereck said, looking at the ground.
Jasmine wasn't sure how to feel about this. All she could think was that she hoped he wouldn't become one of those evil bad guys whom the apocalypse had emptied of any feelings for their fellow sufferers because he seemed like a nice enough guy, something she didn't expect with all her vast knowledge of different types of apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic worlds.
"Thank you, we appreciate that," Jasmine said, satisfied that at least she got something out of this risky move.
"You could have given us some guns. We would have appreciated that even more," Isaac muttered quietly but took the bag when Josef brought it without further complaints.
"Alright, Isaac, let's go," Jasmine said, trying to get up but failing miserably.
Dereck offered her his hand, and Jasmine hesitantly accepted it. When he pulled her to her feet, the pain was all she could think about, but she gritted her teeth and stayed calm.
"Are you sure you'll be okay to go back?" Dereck asked, his eyes looking deep into her own, trying to decipher what was hidden in their depths.
"Of course," Jasmine said breathlessly. "Isaac, run into the forest and bring me a sturdy stick. I'll use that like a crutch, and I should be fine."
Isaac was back so quickly that Jasmine didn't even have enough time to figure out a plan of action for the two of them. All she knew was that she wanted them to leave the soldiers behind as soon as possible before they changed their minds and decided that being a bad guy was more fun.
"Here," Isaac said, giving her a nice sturdy stick.
"Okay, let's go," Jasmine said as sweat dripped from every inch of her body at the exertion of standing with that painful leg, let alone walking. Luckily, the stick took off some of the pressure so she could move, but it was still a complete hell as the pain never stopped, not even for a second.
"Oh, and Dereck, take care and try not to let your guys go around randomly shooting people," Jasmine said, turning her head in Dereck's direction.
"I'll do that," Dereck said, his voice sounding strange, maybe even sad.
Then Jasmine and Isaac were off at a snail's pace. Jasmine's first goal was to get out of the soldiers' line of sight as soon as possible. Although Dereck seemed trustworthy enough, she didn't trust the other guys.
Jasmine's objective was to get inside the forest and hide among the trees, as she was pretty sure she couldn't walk back to the cabin. She was certain she wouldn't have the strength to do anything as the pain seemed to increase with each step she took. Apparently, getting shot in any way was no fun ride.
When they were a few meters inside the shelter that the forest represented, Jasmine crumpled to the ground.
"Jasmine!" Isaac yelled out; his eyes as big as saucers. "Jasmine, are you okay?"
Terror was spelled out in Isaac's young eyes.