As I ran into my room and closed the door behind me I started crying. Did I really just lose one of my dearest friends?
Then my phone started ringing. It was Serena. Thank goodness, I really needed this girl right now.
I cried through this whole conversation, but luckily she didn't mind. She understood, since she also liked Susannah. Serena even cried a little, too. After a while we switched the topic over to the boys. I told her everything that happened.
This girl cheered so hard because of Conrad's and my kiss at the beach. "I told you there was a reason behind his actions. This poor guy had to deal with it all by himself. You can now be there for each other", she said. I agreed, but I told her about my worries because of Jeremiah.
The girl was too stunned to speak. "I-I'm sorry. That's horrible", she admitted. "I know. He hates me. And he hates his brother. I can't let this happen, you know?", I said. "But what are you going to do then?", Serena asked.
"I think I can't do this. With Conrad." "Bitch, what?! No! Don't do this to me. Or, uh, more like... don't do this to him. And to you. Lia, you'll find a way. Just don't end this, please. You're finally happy right now", Serena literally begged me.
"I'll talk to him", I said. We eventually hung up the call and I laid back down on my back. I slowly drifted off into a much needed sleep.
As I woke up again I looked at my phone. It was 11am now. I had a message from Conrad, asking me if I wanted to meet up at the beach. So I got up from my bed and brushed my teeth. I felt terrible because of my lack of sleep.
Brushing my teeth and washing my face helped a lot with that. I put my hair into a low bun, because it annoyed me a lot and started to get a little greasy from all the styling yesterday. I put on some deodorant and perfume and went back downstairs, still waring my white and blue striped dress.
I left the house through the back door, so no one would see me. I walked along the little path overthinking my conversations with Jeremiah and Serena. As I reached the beach I found Conrad, who was sitting in the sand. I sat down right in front of him.
He smiled at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Did you sleep?", he asked. "Yeah. Only a bit, but it was still good", I replied and looked at the ground.
We sat there and nobody said anything. The boy just watched me, fiddling with a shell in my hands. "I feel awful", I started to say. "I mean, he was so angry at us. And he has every right to be, honestly", I continued and started crying. Conrad tried to stoke my cheek, but I backed away.
"It's gonna be okay, Millie. I promise", Conrad answered calmly. I looked back up at the boy and shrugged my shoulders. "How?", I asked. He didn't answer, he just sighed and shrugged his shoulders, too. He took my hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb.
"I think maybe we should hit pause", I suggested. "What? No", Conrad instantly replied. "I don't want to make things harder for you guys than they already are", I explained to him.
"You're not. I promise. I-I mean, you make everything easier for me, Millie", Conrad tried to convince me.
"The most important thing right now is that you and Jeremiah are there for each other, are there for Susannah. And...", I sniffed and took a deep breath. "Us being together would make that impossible", I finished my sentence. "Millie, come on", Conrad whispered.
"I can't do that to him", I cried. He wiped away some of my tears. "I hate this", he said. "Yeah, me, too." Conrad kept looking at me and played with my fingers, but suddenly he stopped.
"Um...", the boy said and pulled something out of the pocket of his shorts. It was the little black bag. "This was always yours", he told me as he took out the infinity necklace. "No matter what happens, we'll still be infinite", Conrad said and put it around my neck.
He drowned in my eyes with his green ones while he put the necklace on. Then he kissed me again. I soaked up every second of this kiss, since it would be the last one. Feeling his soft lips on mine for one last time. Him caressing my cheek while doing so. The way he tasted like a mix of fresh mint and sweet honey.
Afterwards I touched his necklace that was now around my neck and smiled at the boy. I knew that I'd be close to him, every time I would touch it again.
We went back to the house and hung out with the rest. We were in the living room, playing with the Wii. I laid down on the couch after a while and fell asleep. Mom woke me up again after two hours. "Hey, bean. It's dinner time", she said.
We sat at the kitchen table, like yesterday. We had the same pasta as we did the day before. After that I helped to clean the kitchen and went upstairs. The dinner had a weird vibe, for me at least. Probably because of the two brothers staring from each side, for exceptionally different reasons.
I went into Belly's room, the girl was luckily alone. "Hey, can I sit with you?", I asked her. "Sure, come in", she answered and put her book away. "Um, something happened today. Like, a-a lot happened today. I-I mean, since last night, actually", I stammered, not really sure how to start. "Just tell me", she said, so I took a deep breath.
"Okay, so, I couldn't sleep, right? You went upstairs with Jake, Steven also went to bed and the two brothers were sleeping on the couch. But I just couldn't shut off my mind, so I went outside, to the beach. I-I watched the sunset, alone. Well, until Conrad came. And then we talked about Susannah and-and one thing led to another and... we kissed. And talked about our feelings", I tried to explain.
„Hold up, are you for real?", the girl asked. „Yup. He said that his heart feels light and free now, and that the newly won space inside is taken up by me", I told her. „Wow, okay. That's fucking cute. So, are you two finally together?", Belly asked.
I lowered my gaze and tears started to roll once again. It was an emotional rollercoaster. „No", I sniffed. „Why?!" „Because Jere is so mad at us. Like, you can't imagine how mad and heartbroken he was. I-I can't do this to him. Especially not now", I replied.
„Yeah, I understand. I'm just like you. I always need to make others happy first, instead of myself", Belly said. „I know. I just can't destroy Jere's feelings, and their bond... Not now with... Susannah... Ugh", I whispered and wiped away some tears.
Suddenly Belly started crying, too. „I hate this. This is unfair", she sobbed. „I know. I hate this, too", I replied in between my sniffs and hugged her. My best friend and I laid on her bed for half an hour and cried together. We told each other stories about earlier in our lives when we were still young.
„Promise me you'll never leave me", I said. „What? Why would I ever leave you?", Belly asked me. „I have the feeling everyone's gonna hate me soon", I replied.
The girl held up her pinky finger: „Don't worry. I'll never leave you. Even if I'm mad at you some day, or you might think I don't like you anymore... I won't leave. I'll always love you, you're my big sis." Then I intertwined my pinky finger with hers.
„What do you think? Wanna sleepover in my bed?", Belly asked. „Oh, my god. Absolutely!", I replied and jumped up from that bed. „I'll go get my stuff and then I'll shower", I told her excitedly. „I'll get us some snacks and drinks", my friend added.
I brought my ipad, the charger, fuzzy socks and a pillow. Then I went into the bathroom and finally took a shower. This one was really needed. After that I washed my face and went back into my room to put on cozy shorts, a crop top and a cardigan.
„Okay, ready?", I asked my friend as I walked into her room. „Oh, hell yeah! Uh, just leave the door slightly open. Just in case... I don't know. Just feels safer right now", Belly said. „That's alright. So, what do you want to watch?", I wanted to know as I sat down on the bed and looked on my ipad. „The notebook", she replied.
„Wait, you want to cry even more?" „Yes", she answered. I chuckled and turned on the film. Then I laid down and rested my head on her shoulder.
The next morning was slow. Belly and I had breakfast with our brothers, Conrad and Jeremiah were nowhere to be found. After finishing with eating and cleaning up, I went upstairs to get ready. I wanted to use the curling iron from my mom, so I went over to her room, looking if it was there.
I walked past the little green room, that was supposed to be for Laurel's creative writing or other artistry. „Lia!", someone called me from inside there. It was Susannah. I turned around and walked through the door.
„Hey, I never see you in here", I told her. „Ugh, Laurel assigned me this room to clean", the woman said while she sat on the little bamboo guest-bed. "It's the easiest, since I don't think she set a foot in here once to do any writing this summer", she continued telling me.
I chuckled. "Don't you hire cleaners anyway?", I asked. "Shh", Susannah hushed and put her pointing finger on her lips. I smiled weakly and lowered my gaze. I started fiddling with Conrad's necklace again.
"I love that necklace on you", Susannah complimented me. "Connie told me everything that happened with the three of you", she told me. "I'm sorry", I sighed. "Don't be sorry." "This is not how I wanted this summer to end. Especially not...", I said and looked back at her.
I slowly started to cry and had to hold back my tears. "I just feel like I'm losing everyone", I continued with a breaking voice. "You're not. It just takes time. You'll find your way back to each other eventually", Susannah replied.
She put her hand on my angled knee. "And this place is always here for you", she assured me. "Yeah, but...", I had to look up to stop the tears from coming out. "But you've made every summer here so magical, Susannah. I mean, what happens... What happens when..."
"Lia... look at me. You love this place the same way I do. If anyone can keep the magic going here, it's you. You're my special girl. The first girl out of the boys...", Susannah said and started to get teary eyes, too.
Suddenly she got up from that bed. "I need to call the cleaners", she tried to distract. But I wrapped my arms around her torso to stop the woman in her tracks.
"Promise me you'll never leave me", I said, just like I did with Belly yesterday. "Never", Susannah replied and chuckled. I looked up at her and she gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Thank you", I whispered.
As I went out of the room I totally forgot to ask my mom for the curling iron. I just instantly found my way back to my room, looking for weed. I needed to smoke the pain away.
"Fuck. No, no, no, no", I whined. My little box was empty. I've already smoked everything.
I still headed downstairs to hang out in the tree house. I needed my peace for a second. Actually, I'd rather be with Conrad right now, but since that wasn't possible, I decided to go for plan B.
I sat down on the mattress and let myself sink into the pillows. I just listened to the waves. I didn't even have my phone with me, I just wanted to be alone. I laid there for maybe twenty minutes when I heard someone coming into the tree house. It was Conrad.
It was kind of obvious it would be him, because we were the only ones who ever came up here. But I was still surprised to see the boy.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, I-I can go", he stammered. "No, no. It's fine", I said and patted on the mattress next to me, signalling he could sit down.
So he did. He pulled out a joint. "Want some?", Conrad asked. "No." He hesitated and put the joint away. "I'll miss you when you leave tomorrow", the boy said. I looked at him with a soft gaze. "I'll miss you, too."
He also looked at me and put a smile on. "Will I ever hear from you?", he wanted to know. "Probably. I mean, Jake alone won't shut up when you go to Brown together I guess", I replied. That made him laugh softly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about mom", Conrad said. "It's okay." "No, no it's not. I should have told you and Jere. It's just.... I-I didn't want to burden you. I know how much you were and still are hurting because of your dad", he explained. "Conrad, it's okay", I assured the boy.
"Nothing is okay", he sighed. "I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you", Conrad admitted. I looked at him and put my hand on his back. "You don't have to. We'll still be friends", I said.
I couldn't control it, but my hand wandered further up to go through his hair and softly massage his neck.
Conrad also looked at me. "Can't we just break the rule one last time?", he asked me. "What do you mean?" "You'll be gone tomorrow anyway. We won't see each other anymore then", he said. "Just one last kiss?", I asked. "One last kiss. And then the rule is set", he agreed.
I didn't hesitate any longer and went over to him to sit on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my forehead against his. We were so close to each other, just the way I missed it.
Then the boy pressed his lips on mine. Softly, but harsh at the same time. We played with our tongues and I brushed through his hair. He caressed my back the whole time. I couldn't control myself, so I slowly started grinding on his lap.
He didn't stop me. Instead, his hands slowly wandered along my back down to my ass. He grabbed it and made me press even harder against his body.
Sexual Content
Conrad kept massaging my ass while I was grinding on him. I felt his dick get hard in his shorts. "Conrad, fuck", I silently moaned. "We should stop", he whispered. "I don't want to", I replied. "You wanna, uh, you-you", the boy stammered. "Yes, I want to."
He kissed me again and slowly pulled my top up to go underneath it with his hands. I didn't wear a bra, so he instantly grabbed my bare boobs. He massaged them while he kissed me passionately.
Then he took my top off and wandered down to my neck with his kisses. He started sucking on it, his fingers played with my nipples. He pinched them and started twisting them carefully, which felt really good. After leaving kisses and a tiny hickey on my neck, the boy went even further down with his mouth.
He kissed my breasts while he cupped them with his hands. Then his tongue started playing with one of my nipples. He kept sucking on them and left a hickey there, too. "Fuck", I moaned. He made me feel so good.
After that he came back up to face me. He looked into my eyes and lost himself in them. He brushed through my hair with this fingers and stroked my cheek. Conrad didn't even look at my boobs, he just couldn't take away his gaze from my face, especially my eyes.
Then I slowly started to pull up his shirt, too. As I pulled it above his head his eyes instantly searched for mine again. I kissed him softly and looked back at him. He smiled, so I did it again. The boy carefully grabbed my neck without putting any pressure on.
"Uh, we should, we should.. probably...", Conrad interrupted the kiss. "No, don't stop. I want it to be with you. U-Unless you don't want to...", I replied. "No, no, I do", the boy whispered and brushed his nose against mine. Then he kissed me, more passionately again. "You taste so good", he groaned.
Conrad wrapped his arms around my back and carefully laid me down on the mattress. He was hovering above me and went down to kiss my neck. He briefly stopped to admire the infinity necklace. Then he kissed my lips again, with tongue this time.
His hands went from massaging my breast down to my lower tummy. "Is this, uh, is this okay? Can I?", he asked for consent. "Yes, please", I answered. He brushed along the waistband of my shorts with his finger. Then he went inside to massage my clit from above my underwear.
"That feels good", I moaned with my eyes closed. As I opened my eyes again, he still looked at me. He started smiling and gave me another, loving kiss. The boy sat up and pulled my shorts down. "I'm gonna take off your underwear, okay?", he whispered. "Yeah", I agreed.
I was laying in front of him now, naked. I've never been completely naked in front of a guy before. I always had at least one piece of clothing still one when I made out with someone.
Conrad pulled down his shorts, so he was left in only his underwear. He slowly pushed my legs apart and went in between them with his head. He looked at me, asking if he was allowed to keep going. I just pushed his head down slowly, giving him my answer.
The boy started to eat me out. His tongue twirled around my clit, while his pointing finger found it's way into my entrance. I moaned, so he added his middle finger. He kept sucking and licking on my clit, until I was close to coming. My moaning got louder.
Suddenly Conrad stopped and looked at me. "You gotta stay quiet", he said. "I can't", I replied with a short breath. The boy smirked and came up to kiss me on my lips.
"Conrad", I whispered as I broke the kiss. "Yes, Millie?" "I want you. Right now. All of you", I told him quietly. He kissed me again and pulled down his underwear with one hand.
"I don't have a condom", Conrad said. "I'm on birth control", I replied. "Sure? We can stop", he added. "It's okay", I whispered and pulled his lips onto mine.
He placed his dick at my entrance. I was really wet, so it didn't hurt to bad. To be honest, I was so relaxed because it was with him, that I nearly felt no pain at all as he kept going inside.
"Fuck", Conrad groaned and started to slowly push himself in and out. "Don't fucking stop", I demanded. He laid his hand on top of my neck, applying slight pressure and picked up his pace.
He started fucking me and not once broke the kiss, until he gasped for air. We moaned together, while I clawed my nails into his back. He held the eye contact and started smirking.
"You feel so good. You're perfect", he groaned. That made me smile and bend my head back, so he could access my neck better.
The boy kissed and sucked on my neck, until he grabbed it again. This time with a little more force. But even tho Conrad got a little rougher, he was still really careful with everything he did. It was just perfect.
He eventually started massaging my clit with his fingers while he thrusted into me, which made a knot build up in my lower abdomen.
"I'm coming", I moaned. "Cum for me, baby", he whispered. So I did. The knot in my stomach exploded and let pleasure go through my entire body.
As my moans got quieter again, Conrad quickly pulled his dick out of me. Then he moaned and came on my tummy. "Holy shit", he said and let himself fall on the mattress next to me. He gave me a long, deep kiss and stroked my cheek.
"Wait, I think we have some old tissues in the tree house", Conrad told me. He pulled up his underwear and got up from the mattress. He came back with a little tissue box and wiped away everything he left on my stomach.
As I was clean, he laid back down next to me, on his side, facing me. So I turned around, too. He pressed my naked body onto his half naked one and just held me. My head was leaning against his bare breast. His heartbeat was fast.
Then Conrad took his shirt and put it on me. I put my slip back on and he pulled me into his arms again. "I think I'll miss you even more now", I whispered. "Yeah, me, too", the boy chuckled and gave me a kiss on the forehead.