Arnav was trying to work but he couldn't. His mind was preoccupied with disturbing thoughts. He got up from his chair, shutting his laptop and opened the french windows to let the air in. He tried to make himself understand that Ayaansh was not used to sharing his problems. His childhood had been lost to his fears and insecurities that still prevailed.
Arnav wasn't angry, he was just disappointed. Ayaansh had been going through so much in school and he didn't have any clue. The boy had already been ignored a lot, Arnav felt guilty of adding his own name to the list. He should have known what was happening with his brother. But then Ayaansh didn't tell him either! It hurt that the boy still wasn't ready to share his problems. Arnav swallowed his hurt and told himself that it was upto him to assure Ayaansh he could come to him anytime no matter what. It was him who had failed to do so.
Ayaansh mustered up the courage and stepped inside the study to find his brother staring out at the sky, standing near the windows. Ayaansh gathered himself and hugged Arnav from behind. Arnav was startled when he felt the pair of arms around him. He wasn't expecting Ayaansh to come.
Ayaansh was half expecting to be shoved away but was surprised when Arnav turned, crouched down before him and pulled him back in his embrace. Ayaansh pressed himself to his chest.
Arnav rubbed his back. "I'm sorry, bachcha."
Ayaansh pulled back. "Aap kyun sorry bol rhe ho, Bhaiya? Sorry toh mujhe kehna chahiye..." His voice choked.
"I'm sorry for making you feel that couldn't come to me with your problems." Ayaansh opened his mouth to protest but Arnav didn't let him. "I know I've been busy. Mujhe jyada time nhi mila to make sure you were not having any issues at school. Mujhe dhyaan rakhna chahiye tha..."
Ayaansh shook his head helplessly. What was his brother saying? Arnav had made sure to ask him several times about his school. There was nothing for him to feel guilty for.
"... I promise I'll make sure aage se aisa kuch na ho. I've talked to their parents. They will never try to bully you again."
"Galti meri hai na, Bhaiya, aap kyun sorry keh rhe ho?" Ayaansh's eyes filled up. "Naraaz ho aap mujhse?"
Arnav shook his head. He wasn't angry at him. His anger had calmed down but that only made way for his hurt.
"I'm sorry, Bhaiya, mujhe aapko bata dena chahiye tha... Mai bas.." Ayaansh trailed off. He still didn't know how to tell him.
Arnav cupped his face gently. "Mai wajah nhi puchunga, tujhe jitna time lena hai le le, bachcha. I'll wait for you to come to me."
Ayaansh looked down. Arnav's understanding was unnerving him. He could feel the traces of hurt in his Bhaiya's voice. He didn't know how to voice out his feelings.
Arnav saw the sadness on his face. "Mai naraaz nhi hoon, Ayu."
"Upset ho, I know." Ayaansh whispered, more to himself than to Arnav.
Arnav sighed and stood up. "Chal drive par chalte hai."
"Kya?" Ayaansh asked confused.
"Drive par. Get your jacket." Arnav said and walked out without waiting for a reply.
Ayaansh was confused but got his jacket from his room and rushed out where Arnav was waiting for him in the car. Arnav drove off. Ayaansh was silent during the whole ride. Neither did he look up from his shoes, nor did he speak a word. Arnav let him be.
Ayaansh looked around when Arnav stopped the car. It was the same place where they had come before. Sunset point! He came out when he saw his brother walking towards the cliff. He followed Arnav and sat down beside him when Arnav sat on the edge of cliff.
Arnav draped an arm around him. Ayaansh leaned in. They sat in silence for some time. At last Ayaansh gave up. His Bhaiya had all the patience in the world but he didn't. He tilted his head to look at Arnav.
"Bhaiya.."
"Hm?"
"Naraaz ho aap mujhse?"
That was a stupid question to ask. The way Arnav had his arm draped around him protectively was anything but a sign of anger. Arnav smiled a little. He was asking that question for third time.
"Tujhe kya lagta hai?"
Ayaansh felt like sulking and he hated it.
"You know this place is called sunset point. Aru and Ani love to come here and watch sunsets from this cliff." Arnav said with a fond smile.
Ayaansh nodded. He had seen their lit up eyes last time they had come here.
"Jab mai chhota tha I always came here at night to see stars. I loved stargazing." Arnav said with a soft smile. Once you've been through the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines!
Ayaansh looked up. He had never really noticed the stars. He always stared in the dark sky. That was something he could relate to, hollow and blank, unlike the shining bright stars that held no significance in his life.
"The stars gave me hope."
Ayaansh frowned. "Hope?"
Arnav nodded. "Hope. Hope that no matter how dark it gets, we can still choose to keep shining."
Ayaansh smiled. That was a beautiful meaning. He was gonna remember that always. And suddenly it hit him! Hope always had a beautiful meaning, it only needed to be trusted to be felt! He looked at Arnav who was already looking at him.
"Mujhe aapko bata dena chahiye tha, Bhaiya. Mai dar gaya tha.."
"Kis baat ka darr, bachcha?" Arnav asked gently.
"Mai..." Ayaansh's voice choked even before he started. Arnav reached for him. "You don't need to tell me now, Ayu. I can wait..."
Ayaansh shook his head. He was tired holding on to everything. He needed to let go. He leaned into Arnav's embrace and started talking about his fears and inhibitions. His brother deserved to know. He couldn't let Arnav feel guilty for something that wasn't even his fault. He needed to let his Bhaiya know that he trusted him with his whole heart.
"...school se woh meri pehli complaint thi. They sent me hostel after that. Mujhe nhi jana tha, Bhaiya." Ayaansh tried to hold back his tears. "Maine bola maa baba ko mujhe mat bhejo par woh nhi maane. Sayad mai unhe bohot pareshan karta tha, bohot bura beta tha par.." He looked at Arnav, his eyes filled up with tears. "..mujhe bura Bhai nhi banna, Bhaiya. Mai aapko bilkul pareshan nhi karna chahta tha.."
Arnav held him to his chest as he broke down. Ayaansh poured out his heart in Arnav's embrace, letting him feel the pain he was holding onto. Arnav listened to everything with horror. Now that Ayaansh was finally talking, he didn't want him to keep anything bottled inside. It was better to cry it out for once than grieving for it everyday.
After Ayaansh stopped talking, they sat in silence. Arnav was running his hand through Ayaansh's hairs who was pressed against his chest. His heart felt lighter than ever before. It was difficult for him but he should've known Arnav's presence would make it less painful. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to explain his feelings to Arnav but he realised he didn't need to. All he had to do was to speak! Everyone knew the language of words, that was needed for conversation but Arnav knew the language of empathy, that was needed for comprehension!
"I'm sorry, Bhaiya, Mai bas aapko pareshan nhi karna chahta tha." Ayaansh mumbled after some time.
"Mai pareshan kis baat se hua, Ayaansh?" Arnav pulled back and looked Ayaansh in the eye.
"Woh jhagda... Aur meri wajah se aapko principal sir ne.." Ayaansh said but trailed off when he saw Arnav's look.
"Mai pareshaan isliye hua kyunki tu pareshan tha. Your troubles will trouble me, Ayaansh! School me tere saath itna sab ho rha tha aur mujhe pata bhi nhi tha. I failed to protect you, I failed to be a good brother..."
"You're the best brother in the world, Bhaiya." Ayaansh spoke immediately. "Aapne toh itni baar puchha na mujhse? Maine hi nhi bataya. Mai dar gaya tha, Bhaiya, I'm sorry."
Arnav cupped his face. "Bhai hai tu mera, Ayu. Agar tere saath kuch galat ho aur mujhe na pata ho toh woh meri galti hai..."
"Aap aise mat kaho, Bhaiya.."
"Mai jaanta hoon tujhe waqt chahiye par ab bohot hua." Arnav firmed his voice. "Tu humare ghar ka bachcha hai. Aur humare ghar ke kuch rules that you need to follow. You are not allowed to hide things, Ayaansh. And definitely not when it's troubling you!"
Ayaansh looked away but Arnav made him look back at him. He gentled his voice. "We're family, bachcha. And family stands together. Tu kabhi mujhe pareshan nhi kar sakta. Maana humari zindagi alag thi itne saalon tak par ab tu humari zindagi ka hissa hai, Ayu."
Ayaansh nodded but Arnav was reminded of Harshit's words.
'Isne kabhi nhi kaha ki yeh aapka Bhai hai.'
"Ani aur Aru se mera khoon ka rishta nhi hai," Arnav said gently. "Khoon ke rishtey apne hote honge, par dil aur dhadkan se jude rishtey sachche hote hai. They are not related to me by blood but they mean the world to me, you know that, right?"
Ayaansh nodded. Anyone who knew Arnav even a bit would know that.
"And so do you, bachcha. Do you know that?"
Ayaansh's eyes filled up.
"Family is not defined by the people we share blood with, family is defined by the people we share our heartbeats with!"
Ayaansh hugged Arnav tightly. His heart was erupting with love and respect for Arnav. He didn't how to respond to that kind of love. The love which was asking for nothing but for him to be happy! Arnav held him securely to his chest.
Ayaansh deepened the hug. "I love you, Bhaiya!"
Arnav's own eyes filled up. He pressed a warm kiss on Ayaansh's head. "I love you too, bachcha."
The brothers held on untill Ayaansh pulled back and put his head on Arnav's lap. This time when he looked up, he didn't see the dark sky, instead he saw those thousands twinkling lights that radiated hope. He smiled. He knew he was never going back to staring at the blank sky. Turns out he loved stargazing as well!
Arnav was glad to see the smile on Ayaansh's face. Finally his boy was embracing his life. He knew letting go was important. One had to let go to heal. And one had to heal to embrace what was being offered by life without the filter of scars and wounds!
Ashi was preparing breakfast when Arnav came in. Ashi smiled at him. "Good morning, Arnav."
Arnav looked around the empty hall and pulled Ashi in his arms. "Good morning, Mrs. Singhania."
Ashi tried to pull back but Arnav was too strong for her. "Ghar me bachche hai, Arnav. Chhodiye mujhe, koi dekh lega."
"Toh dekh lene do, apni hi biwi hai meri." Arnav said as he nuzzled his face in her hair.
"Kya baat hai, bohot khush hai aap aaj?" Ashi asked as she gave up on protesting and leaned in Arnav's touch. "Koi khaas vajah?"
"Ab apni biwi se romance karne ke liye khaas vajah dhoondhni padegi?" Arnav raised his eyebrows.
Ashi hit him on shoulders. "Yeh aankhein aap apne bachcho ko dikhaye."
Arnav bowed his head. "Apologies, ma'am!"
Ashi hit his shoulder again. Arnav laughed and pulled her closer. He told her about his conversation with Ayaansh. Ashi was saddened that the boy went through such phase but she was happy he was opening up. She looked at Arnav. His eyes were shining with happiness. She knew for a fact that Arnav loved Ayaansh a lot but today she could see he loved Ayaansh as much as Aru and Ani if not more.
Aryan came looking for Arnav and saw his Bhabhi in his Bhaiya's arms. Devil danced in his eyes. He shut his eyes and yelled. "Maine kuch nhi dekha..."
Ashi immediately pushed away Arnav who glared at Aryan. "Kya kaam hai tujhe?"
"Haww, Bhaiya, ab mai breakfast karne bhi na aau."
Arnav shook his head at his theatrics and turned to help Ashi.
"Gussa kyun ho rhe ho, Bhaiya?" Aryan said teasingly. "Mujhe kya pata tha aap kitchen me... Ahhh chodo, Bhaiya.." He winced when Arnav caught his ears.
"Bohot zubaan chalne lagi hai na teri?"
Ashi pulled Aryan from Arnav's grip. "Bachche ko kyun daant rhe hai, Arnav? Usne kya Kiya?"
Aryan hid behind Ashi and poked tongue at Arnav.
Ayaansh came down rubbing sleep from his eyes. They had returned in the early morning hours. He was still feeling sleepy. He looked and up and saw everyone in the kitchen. A smile spread across his lips as he rushed down, completely forgetting his sleep and straightaway hugged Ashi from behind.
Ashi was startled by the sudden hug but turned in his embrace to hug him back. She looked up at Arnav who was smiling. He shook his head discreetly.
Ayaansh deepened the hug once and pulled back. "Good morning, Bhabhi."
He looked so innocent and childlike that Ashi couldn't help pulling his cheeks. "Good morning, bachcha."
Ayaansh smiled. He owed it to his Bhabhi for making him understand. He couldn't have gathered the courage to approach Arnav on his own. She was an angel for him. He turned to Arnav and hugged him. "Good morning, Bhaiya."
Arnav ruffled his hair affectionately. His happiness seemed so contagious that it warmed up their hearts.
Aryan gave a pointed look to Ayaansh who laughed and opened his arms for him. "Aaja.."
Aryan gave him a wide smile and hugged him.
Ashi and Arnav shared a look. They were grateful for the smile on their boys' faces.
Arnav came to drop Aryan and Ayaansh to their school. Aryan and Ayaansh had seperate buildings that were ten minutes apart from each other. Arnav dropped Aryan first and then drove a little ahead for Ayaansh.
Arnav got down with Ayaansh and made him look at him. "You're Ayaansh Singhania, Arnav Singhania's brother, keep that in mind. Don't let anyone walk over you, okay?"
Ayaansh nodded. He fell for it once, never again. He was Arnav Singhania's little brother. He will never let himself forget it. He will never let down his Bhaiya's trust on him.
"Hey, Ayu!"
Arnav and Ayaansh looked up to see Rihaan.
"Hello, Bhai." Rihaan greeted Arnav.
Arnav smiled at him. "Hi, Rihu. Kaisa hai?"
"Mai thik hoon, Bhai. Aap..."
"Wait, you guys know each other?" Ayaansh asked in confusion.
Rihaan laughed. "Of course, idiot."
Ayaansh frowned and looked at Arnav
"Rihaan is my best friend's brother, Ayu." Arnav cleared his confusion.
"Ritvik sir aapke best friend hai?" Ayaansh asked, shocked by the new information. Ritvik was one of the best composers in music industry. He was very particular about taking up singers and each and every song of his was a masterpiece.
Arnav nodded.
Ayaansh gave Rihaan an accusing glance. "Tune bataya kyun nhi tu Bhaiya ko jaanta hai?"
Rihaan whacked him. "Mai Bhai ko tujhse bhi pehle se jaanta hoon, idiot."
Rihaan didn't like hearing that a bit. "Toh kya hua? Yeh bakwas chhod aur class ja."
"Kyun, tujhe nhi jana?" Rihaan bit his smile.
"Time out, boys!" Arnav intervened before they ended up fighting. Ayaansh sulked and left for his class without waiting. Arnav was confused but let it go. He looked at Rihaan. "Thanks, Rihu."
"Kis baat ke liye, Bhai?"
"Ayu ka saath dene ke liye."
Rihaan smiled. "Don't mention it, Bhai. Ayu is family."
Aryan patted his head before he left for his class.
Ayaansh was a completely different person in school that day. Everyone was taken aback by how cheerful he was. He was talking much more compared to earlier. He seemed more confident than ever.
"May I have your attention, guys!" Rihaan stood on the desk with a copy folded as a mic. "So as everyone knows the biggest musical fest on our city is coming up and we will get to see some of the best performances by many of our favourites."
Everyone gathered around by now.
"But.. but.. I'm here to give you a little surprise. We've an amazing singer among ourselves right now!"
Everyone looked at each other.
"What? Why are you guys staring like that? Don't you guys wanna hear the person?" Rihaan asked and everyone shouted in curiosity. "So it's none other than our very own, Ayaansh Singhania!"
Ayaansh's eyes widened. He was about to protest but Rihaan jumped down the desk and whispered in Ayaansh's ear. "Meri izzat tere haathon me hai, Bhai. Mana mat kar, please."
Ayaansh glared at him but agreed. Someone got him guitar as everyone made a circle around him making him the centre of attraction. Ayaansh's finger hit the strings.
Woah-woah-woah...
Na na na...
Jhuki teri palkon mein
Mil jaaye mujhe panaah
Palke gire aasu bhari
Reh jaaye mere nishaan
Tute dil ki mat kar
Tu fikar mere humnawa
Pyaar du tujhko is kadar
Reh jaaye mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan...
Everyone was hooting crazily. Ayaansh's voice was casting magic. Soon enough the students from other classes also gathered around making it look like a mini concert. Rihaan smiled when a girl entered the class and pulled her for a spin. The song was just asking for it.
Khakh me mil jau me
Jaise ke ek lamha
Aa lag ja sine se
Ban ja mere rehnuma
Dekhta hu sapne tere
Sun le meri jaane jaan
Khwab ye sach ho jaaye
Agar khuda ho meherbaa
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Mere nishaan
Na na na...
Everyone started clapping as soon as Ayaansh stopped. It was a mesmerizing performance. Everyone appreciated him while shaking hands with him or giving him a hug. Ayaansh was awkward initially but smiled at everyone.
"Tu toh rockstar ban gaya, bro!" Rihaan gave him a hug.
"You were amazing, Ayu!"
"Thanks, Swara!" Ayaansh smiled at her. She was Rihaan's cousin and a good friend to both of them.
"Tu fest me perform kar rha hai?" Rihaan asked.
Ayaansh shook his head. He wasn't confident enough to go on stage right now.
"Kyun nhi?" Swara frowned. "Tujhe perform karna chahiye, Ayu."
"I'm not ready, Swara."
Swara rolled his eyes as Rihaan whacked him.
"Kya hai tera?" Ayaansh glared at him.
"You'll never be ready." Swara deadpanned.
Ayaansh sighed. "They will not even take me in, guys, come on. Famous and known artists are coming for the fests. Why would they let me in?"
"Because you absolutely deserve it, idiot." Rihaan spoke. "Tu ek baar try toh kar. Nhi liya toh na shi."
Ayaansh wasn't convinced.
Swara reached for his hands. "Apne Bhaiyo se puch ke dekh le woh kya bolte hai? Humari baat nhi toh unki maan lena, hm?"
Ayaansh thought over. May be he could ask his Bhaiyu. He was sure Aniket would also tell him that he wasn't ready yet so he agreed to it.
Rihaan winked at Swara. She was a genius. Both of them knew any of his brothers would tell him the same thing as they did. They were counting on seeing their friend in the spotlight soon!
____________________________________
A/n
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Love,
Muskan