CHRISTOPHER
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Isang mahabang linya ng sakit ang dumadaloy sa ulo ko pagkadilat ko ng mga mata. Hindi pa agad luminaw ang paningin ko pero alam kong may nagtataasang puno sa paligid ko at nakahiga ako sa mabatong lupa.
Dahan dahan akong kumuha ng malalim na hininga at muling pumikit. Shit, I passed out? Binuksan ko ulit ito at pinakiramdaman ang paligid.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" My voice is hoarse and dry.
Si Selene, ang bruha, ay agad na lumingon sa akin habang nakataas pa ang kilay. Nakatalikod siyang naka-upo sa akin, pero umikot para harapin ako. Turns out she was holding a cloth and knife, she was cleaning the dirt off the blade.
"What a weird way to say 'wow thank you so much for staying here and checking on me.' But you're welcome."
"Fuck you." I spit out. Selene only chuckles.
Napunta na tingin ko sa ibaba, and what the fuck. Balot na balot ng tela ang kaliwang binti ko at may bakat pa ng dugo. Sinubukan kong itaas ang binti ko- Holy shit. I can't move it. I can't fucking move my leg.
"Where's Jonah?" Tanong ko nalang.
Narinig ko ang malalim na paghinga ni Selene. "Sinamahan niya sila Liam para mag-ipon ng pagkain at tubig. Alam mo ba kanina pa talaga aligaga si Jonah sa iyo. Pinilit nalang namin na maglakad lakad para kumalma at nagpresenta nalang ako na bantayan ka." She continues to wipe the blade of the knife she's holding. "She's... What do you call it? Stressed. Yeah. She's stressed."
Doon ko naalala ang mga nangyari bago ako mawalan ng malay. "I don't need any of you! I am fucking capable of my own!"
Fuck. Napapikit nalang ako sa mapait na alaala.
Inabot ko nalang ang tela sa binti ko at sinubukang alisin. "The hell are these-"
"Hoy, huwag mo naman alisin!" Mabilis na tumayo ang bruha at hinawakan ang kamay ko para pigilan ako. "Hayaan mo lang na ganyan-"
"Fuck you! Leave me alone."
Napatigil ang bruha at sinamaan ako ng tingin. Lalong humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. "Hoy. Umayos ayos ka. Hindi ka nakakatuwa." Tinuro turo niya ako. "Alam mo kung bakit ako ang naiwan dito? Because Hoderlia knows medicine and I know what I'm doing. You were injected with a liquid that impales your leg. Do you know how fucked up that is?"
Oh fuck. Tanda ko 'nga na may tumusok sa binti ko kaya ako nanghina. Holy shit.
Titig na titig pa rin sa akin ang bruha at mahigpit pa rin ang kapit sa mga kamay ko. Wala naman ako nagawa kundi makipagtitigan lang sa kanya. When was the last time a woman braved to face me like this?
That question stoned me in my spot. Tinitigan ko lang siya pabalik. Pero binitawan niya lang ang mga kamay ko, at pumamewang. "Sige, gawin mo gusto mo." Sabi niya pa. "Basta walang iyakan kapag lalong lumala 'yan hanggang sa mamatay at mabulok ka dyan."
For the first time, my mouth can't spit out an immediate cuss word. Inalis ko ang tingin sa kanya at huminga nalang nang malalim. "I don't cry." Tugon ko.
Rinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa niya. Muli niyang binalik ang atensyon sa tela sa binti ko.
"Just be careful or whatever," I said. "You'll make it worse."
"I know what I'm doing, mister. Tsaka your leg is basically numb. Kahit suntukin ko 'yan you'll barely feel anything." Tinapos niya ang pagikot at tali ng tela. "There, now don't move too much."
"I can still fight you even with a numb leg." I smirk at her. It was supposed to be a slight threat, to not give her any space for any superiority over me. But the dumbass just smirked as well, even leaning a bit towards me.
"Oh, confident, I see." She says. "Would love to duel with you, but, that's not a priority right now. Kotang kota ka na sa pakikipaglaban kanina. You were surrounded! It wouldn't been a challenge to you if you have us... pero hindi. Mag-isa ka lang." She frowns. "Bakit nga ba hindi ka nagtawag sa amin? Hindi ka maiinjure ng ganito kung sinabi mo sa amin."
I click my tongue and roll my eyes. "It's because I can do it on my own. You brats act like I am a weakling."
"You almost broke your bones, and maybe sooner, you will be forever be disabled to walk on your own." She notes. "Tsaka, kakaiba rin tumakbo 'yang utak mo, ano? We are asking you why you chose to face that creepy man alone because we care. Hindi dahil sa tingin namin ay hindi mo iyon kaya!"
"Shut your annoying mouth you broomhead." I snap. Pero parang walang balak tumigil ang bruha. "What I mean is that I fight better on my own while you guys are being sound asleep in your stupid little rocky beds."
Hindi agad sumagot ang bruha at tumingin lang sa akin. Nang unti unting kumurba ang labi niya hanggang sa mahina siyang tumawa. "For some reason, 'yung "stupid little rocky bed" sounds hilarious coming from your mouth." Napabuntong hininga nalang ako sa mga trip ng babaeng ito. "But, you also mean, ayaw mo na kami gisingin so we can rest more. You also mean you want to protect us."
Siguro kung naigagalaw ko lang ang binti ko, kanina pa ako tumayo at nilayasan siya. Wala nalang akong nagawa kundi humiyaw. "That is not what I fucking mean! Stop putting words in my mouth you shithead."
"Kay, whatever you say!"
Isa ulit na malalim na hininga ang ginawa ko. Fucking hell. This woman is something else. I want to be alone.
Kaya sinubukan kong ibangon ang sarili mula sa pagkakaupo. Kaya ko naman atang lumayo nang konti kahit isa lang ang binti ko-
"Ay isa ka talagang matigas ulo eh no?" Isa na namang pares ng matatag na kamay ang humawak sa braso ko at pinilit akong pa-upuin ulit. "'Hwag ka nga muna tumayo!"
I close my eyes to not feel the irritation. But my mouth once again moved on its own. "Shut the fuck up and leave me alone! I can take care of myself!"
"Ayan na naman!" She exclaims while flailing her arms. Pagkatapos ay hinawakan niya ako sa braso. "We know that! Everyone in this world knows that Christopher Salazar can take care of himself!"
Lalong humigpit ang kapit sa akin ng bruha. How can a woman this small be so strong? Hindi niya rin inalis ang tingin sa akin. "Alam namin na kaya mong dalhin ang sarili mo. Everyone in our group won't deny that." Unti unting niyang pinakawalan ang braso ko. Napayuko siya.
"I just want to take care of you, too." Halos pabulong niyang sabi. "I want to join in. So we can take care of each other."
Nawala ang lahat ng pagka-irita na bumabalot sa akin, dahil ang tanging naramdaman ko nalang ang biglang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Her hands on my arms are still there, but it's soft, and warm too.
Gusto kong sumagot. Kaso masyadong lumambot ang dila sa bibig ko na hindi ko magawang sagutin siya. Her? Want to take care of me? But why?
Biglang umiling ang bruha at muling humigpit ang hawak sa braso ko. Tinignan niya ulit ako. "Look, whether you like it or not, we are going to need each other here." The strength in her voice came back. "Kasi sama sama tayong nakapasok dito, kaya tama rin na sama sama tayong lalabas sa mundong ito. Kahit na para 'bang power of friendship sa mga corny ass anime tayo.."
I glared at her because of the obvious reference to what I said yesterday. Pero hindi ulit ako umimik at hinayaan ang siyang alalayan ako sa pag-upo ko.
"Oh? Nanahimik ka?" She asks when I sit down. "Naputol ba dila mo?"
I roll my eyes at her. "You talk too much. You're giving me no room to talk."
"You're being an asshole, nararamdaman mo ba iyon?"
"Blah blah." I roll my eyes again, pero tinawanan lang ako ng gaga. Bakit ba tawa 'to nang tawa? May nakakatawa ba sa akin?
"You're kinda funny while being an asshole. That's interesting."
I should have rolled my eyes again, or maybe cussed at her for being annoying, but I cannot muster to do anything. I let the dumbass look at me a little longer with a silly smile painted at her lips. Why is she looking at me like that?
Why is she looking at me like I'm worthy of everything good?
She shouldn't look at me like that.
Because I am nothing but a hurricane of messed up bullshit.
And then, she exhales. "You know, I know you only wanted to protect us, especially your sister." Hindi niya ako tinignan at bumalik sa pagpupunas ng kanyang dagger. "Hindi ko alam ang kwento niyong magkapatid..... But she's really hurt, Christopher. She really is."
Tinigil niya nang sandali ang pagpupunas. "Maybe, an assurance that if something like this will never happen again will probably make her better. That the next time you sense danger, you'll tell it to us instead of facing it on your own."
Jonah still never changed even after these years. Masyado siyang nerbyosa at kung makaasta ba eh hindi ko kakayaning mag-isa. Siya 'nga nagpumilit sa akin na umattend sa gawaan nila para sa research, eh pinapabayaan ko na 'nga lang dahil mas gugustuhin ko pang ibagsak nalang ang subject na iyon.
Now I am here. Now we're here in this god forsaken fantasy story that is doomed to have a tragic route.
But.. I hurt her. Because of my own recklessness, I hurt the only and last family I have.
"Don't tell me what to do." Iyon nalang ang kayang sabihin ng bibig ko.
"Shuta ka." She crosses her arms and turns away from me. "Bahala ka dyan. Sumasakit ulo ko sayo."
At sa wakas, nanahimik ang bruha at hindi na nagsalita ulit. Salamat naman at tumigil na siya. Kaya humiga na ako at pinikit nalang ang mga mata at dinamnam ang katahimikan.
Kaso 'nga lang, halos hindi lumilipas ang limang minuto ay nakarinig na ako ng ilang kaluskos malapit lang sa amin. Rinig na rin ang mga pamilyar na boses. The rest of the brats have arrived.
Bumangon ako at una kong nakita si Jonah. Hindi muna agad siya umimik, pero nauna siya sa paglalakad at binaba ang mga dala dala niya. Magsasalita palang sana ako, nang bigla niya akong niyakap.
"Kuya!" Hiyaw ni Jonah. "Kuya!!!"
The last time I felt the hug of a sister was the day I first learned about the death of my mother. Ever since that day, I refused any sort of affection as it made me feel even more miserable.
I should've pushed Jonah away and spit out something an asshole would say. "I don't need any of you! I am fucking capable of my own!" My own voice echoed back inside my head.
Pero naramdaman ko lang ang panginginig ng kapatid ko habang yakap ako. Sobrang higpit din ng yakap niya, kagaya nung araw na binalita sa akin patungkol sa nangyari kay Mama. The hug is as tight as that day, and I can sense the same shiver of fear coming from her body.
Just an assurance that if something like this will never happen again, that the next time you sense danger, you'll tell it to us instead of facing it on your own. Naalala ko ang sinabi ng bruha sa akin kanina. Huh, maybe she's right.
"Don't do that again, kuya." Humiwalay na siya at tumingin lang sa akin. Humihikbi siya at pinunasan ang bahid ng luha sa kanyang pisngi. "I really don't know what I'll do if I lost a brother."
Namumuo na ang mga luha sa mga mata ni Jonah. And she kinda looks freaking funny. Wala sa sarili kong nilamutak ang mukha niya at tinulak. "Agh!!! Ang baho ng kamay mo!! What was that for?!" Protesta niya.
"Ano akala niyo sa akin? Isang tingting na madaling mabali at masira?! Fuck you all." Sabi ko. "No one's losing someone. Isaksak niyo 'yon sa mga kukote niyo."
"That's the spirit, Christopher!" Sabi ni Liam.
"Anyways anyways!" Pumalakpak si Stefan para kuhanin atensyon namin. Papansin talaga ang gago. "I have something for you, Christopher!"
Paglingon ko sa kanya ay may hawak siyang kahoy.. Kahoy na hugis saklay.
My face wrinkles. "You don't need to do this."
"Yep, you're right, but I want to!" Inabot niya sa akin ang kahoy na saklay. "Because we're basically friends now and I want to formally thank you for carrying me like a grape yesterday!"
At ayan na naman sila sa pag-ulit sa mga sinabi ko kahapon. They are really a bunch of brats, aren't they?
"I'm sorry about your legs." Halos mapatalon ako dahil nakaluhod na pala si Jessa sa harapan ko habang nakatingin sa binti kong balot na balot. "We'll find a cure for that. Hindi ka dapat magtagal nang ganyan, you are our best fighter along with Jonah."
"Damn right, Princess." I agree.
Kumunot ang noo niya. It kind of looks unsettling when she does that in Princess Blaidrah's face. "Don't call me Princess." Umiling siya dahil siguro may naiisip pa siyang resbak sa akin. "Guys. I know how to get to the crystalized dragons."
"Ay weh?" Sabi ni Selene. "How?"
Kahit ako ay naintriga sa sinabi nung Jessa. She's unsettling, in general. How she'll suddenly pop out of nowhere to tell a very important information that we are all needing.
"I.. I am having flashbacks. Like memories, ganon?" She gestures at her head. "Blaidrah's memories and knowledge are starting to merge with mine. Blaidrah knows where the dragons are so I will lead all of you there."
Nilingon niya si Stefan. This girl is damn obvious with her special treatment to the boy. Anyone who'll deny about them, is fucking blind.
"I.. am asking all of you to trust me. It'll probably take around five days to get there." Dagdag niya. "We'll travel west, just like how the old lady had told us. Ako na bahala sa landmarks natin. Just trust me."
"You're Princess Blaidrah of Shirene, ofcourse we'll trust you." Selene exclaims. "Shall we get going now?"
"Pre, si Christopher! Baka hindi siya makalakad-" sabi ni Stefan pero nagsalita ako.
"Shut up! I can walk with this wooden stick you've given me." Agad na kumilos si Liam at inilalayan ako tumayo. "Let's go."
Jessa looked back at me and smiled. These brats are really something else.They like to look at me like I am someone special. And I fucking don't get it! Hindi ba nila narinig 'yung masasamang salita na nasabi ko kanina?! Hindi ko maintindihan.
"Are you sure na okay ka lang, Kuya?" Kinapa ni Jonah ang saklay ko. "This is good but it's only temporary. We're going to find a cure!"
Nakuha niya ang positibong kaisipan ni Inay. An uncomfortable knot lumped in my throat. Our mother is long gone, but even with this different universe and bodies we're in, I still see the glimpses of her in my sister.
"Hey.. Jonah." Tawag ko. Nilingon niya ako. "I am sorry.. For whatever shit I had caused. For worrying you so much."
And to everything. I want to fucking say out loud. But I can't. Especially when she smiled, like nothing ever happened wrong. She really is like our mother because she smiles in obvious pain. While I'm nothing like her, because all I do is hurt the people I care for.
Nagningning lang mga mata ni Jonah. "I would've done the same, kuya. If I was you, I would also go out there and face whoever tries to threaten us as well." She says. "We are really similar, after all, huh?"
Napansin ko na nasa tabi ko lang si Selene at mukhang nag-aabang lang din sa pwede niyang maitulong. Nagkatitigan lang muna kami, tsaka niya ako tinaasan ng kilay. "What?" She asks.
"Broomhead."
"Ha?!" Unconsciously, she reaches out to her red bushy hair and smoothens it. "My real hair is soft and silky!"
Sinaklay ko na ang braso ko sa binigay ni Stefan. Huh, it seems to fit well, and sturdy too. Hinakbang ko ang isang kong paa, at sinunod ang saklay. It's going to be harder than I thought, what the fuck.
Muli na namang kumulo ang dugo ko sa sitwasyon ko. Pinagmasdan ko ang binti kong balot na balot ng tela, and God knows how ugly it must have been inside the bandages. I whispered a short curse. Sa susunod na pagkikita namin non, hinding hindi na ako magpapatalo.
I will fight that ugly motherfucker, with or without a left leg.
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