It was as if all the puzzle pieces were starting to form a cohesive picture in my head. Everything was coming together as it was meant to all along.
I was one of the foretold Gray Jedi my people had written about all those years ago. A true force wielder according to their legends.
One that embraced the written law that attachments strengthened a users ability to wield and channel the force through all living things. For a stronger bond with individuals around you fueled the natural flow of the force. Cascading into a much deeper and more powerful bond.
Parts of me had already embraced those pieces of my people. By allowing myself to form deep and meaning connects with Rex, Echo, Fives and the rest of the 501st I started to awaken pieces of that ancient gift.
However I knew that with clone force 99 it blossomed into something greater. They became something more then just brothers to me. They became apart of me. Part of who I was now. Part of who I was becoming.
And Tech...by the maker he became apart of my soul. And by extension my being. The powerful connection I had made with him was rooted deep within me now. Latched onto my very essence. And I to his. As the force always meant for it to be.
All the pieces were fitting together and that explained my visions. My personal connection to Crosshair was because of where I came from. And though we were not so close, I still sensed his struggles. Felt and experienced it so vividly as if I was right there next to him. Living through it along side him.
We had left an imprint on one another without even realizing it. Something I had done with every individual that I had gotten to know and cared for. As I left a mark on them, they in return left a meaningful mark onto me.
For some, like the clones, it was stronger. More impactful. Their tales and woes had a feverish hold on me. The courage, Valor, bravery, and strength they shared with each other was a rare commodity to find and I admired them for it. And in turn they opened up to me. Letting me see their true selfs and bringing me into their brotherhood. It was an experience and a time I would never get again. And one I would treasure for eons to come.
"Come to the end of your search you have". I focused my eye-line back to Master Yoda. A new revelation still turning in my head. His force ghost shined with a new brightness to it. As if I could finally see him as he truly was meant to be seen.
"I-I have?"
He nodded gently. "Let go of what you can not control you have done and accept what is. Proven to yourself that you were meant for this all along". And maybe he—no, he was right.
I had been meant for this. Staring at me in the face this whole time. I just needed to see it with my own sight to understand it. To know it to be the truth.
"Let the force flow freely through you now, you may. Understand that this is the path that was meant for you along. Just needed to accept it you did".
I finally took a deep breath in and out and closed my eyes. Then I let go of everything I could not and never would be to control and welcomed whatever the force had in store for me.
Suddenly like I had been in a haze before, the fog was clearing away and I could see clearly for the first time. Something wrapped around my limbs, climbing up me to latch itself on. Everything felt new. Richer. Brighter. Vivider. And yet at the same time, familiar.
It was like the flood gates had been opened. The clearing of dark rainy sky after a perfect storm. The clouds parting for the emerging dawn of a new day.
And the sensations all around and within me felt more intense. Like I was being hit with wave upon wave of pure raw feelings and emotions. All encompassing, but in a good way. In the way it was meant to be for-filled all this time. Emerging Light at the end of a gray fuzzy tunnel.
Now I felt truly whole. And when I looked down at my hands I gasped at what I saw. No longer was I wearing my armor plating. Instead gray wraps curved around my palm stopping just at the tips of my elbows. That was not all. My light brown cargo pants had been replaced with dark gray ones and I now had a light gray, nearly white shawl like thing clasped around my neck.
Hmm.
I hummed to myself. "Did not know my attire would change. That's certainly new. And something the guys will find interesting". I shook my head, a small grin breaking through.
"Then again, all of this they will probably find...rather interesting". I chuckled softly. "Tech especially".
Tech.
The thought of seeing him again after this...being reborn moment filled me with such euphoric and overwhelming feelings that were ready to burst through. It was unpalatable. So with this I moved my body out of darkness turned light of the temple, up the stones and raced to the upper level of Pabu.
~~
Tuffs of blonde hair were the first things my sight landed on when I came upon the batch. Somehow the head it belonged to had sensed me, for Omega turned her figure to face me and a bright smile, that melted my heart broke out on her face.
"Onyx!" She exclaimed racing towards me at full speed. "Your okay". Her body collided with mine as her small arms encased themselves around my neck.
"I told you'd I'd be okay. And if anything happened Tech would be able to feel it".
She pulled back, her face still inches from mine. "But he did! He said you were having conflicted emotions and that something was wrong".
"But I'm okay". I reassured her.
I felt his captivating presence before I heard him. "You had me very worried Cyar'ika".
I lifted my sight to him. His figure was still the same, but different entirely. And with everything that I knew now I collapsed into him. To which he eagerly gripped me back tightly.
"What happened to you?" Tech questioned me perplexed. A tangle of fear and deep worry mixed together in his eyes.
"Yeah and what are you wearing?" Wrecker asked confused, his eyes doubling in size as he took me in. I glanced from him down to my new attire.
Even for me it would take some getting used to. All the light grays and whites especially. Color was something I gravitated to, but if I was being honest I rather fancied the neutrals I was wearing. Something about it seemed...comforting.
The furrowed brows, the anxious looks. They were all waiting with baited breath for me to explain what had happened to me.
Especially Tech and Hunter. Hunter no doubt because I was like a sister to him and essential to the team. I had also warmed my way into his heart from the look of concern on his features.
And well...Tech. That was self explanatory enough. He was my other half. My soulmate. Meaning that worrying about my well-being would be a natural occurrence for him.
I raised my body up from the ground. "How about I tell you everything over that famous dinner that Phee promised us".
~~
Everyone's eyes sparkled with amazement as I told my tale of my journey down in the hidden temple. Hunter seemed to be the most applaud. Especially when I brought up seeing a dead clone trooper.
Wrecker, unfortunately was quick to let the rich and diverse display in front of us not go to waste. He piled his plate high with all sorts of items. I was eager to dig in myself. Not only to replenish my energy, but to also taste the colorful banquet before us. A display so vibrant it mirrored the colors in the sky.
"A Gray Jedi? I am unfamiliar with that term". Tech exclaimed before taking a bit of a brightly colored fruit.
"My Jedi knowledge is limited". Hunter chimed across from me. "What does it mean exactly?"
"It means good can not exist without evil. Nor vise versa. There can be no chaos without peace. There needs to be a balance". I popped a strawberry into my month. "That's what it means to be a gray Jedi. Keeping that balance from swaying too much to one side or the other".
"Isn't that what you already do?"
I shook my head at Wrecker. "Not exactly. The Jedi never touched the dark side of the force. Never giving into one's anger. Unlike the Sith, a gray Jedi does". I took in the uncertain looks. "but within a reasonable amount. We know when it's absolutely necessary to use it and when it is not".
I paused, taking in a breath. "For me however it was more about embracing my people's beliefs of what the force should be rather then about gaining the powers of the dark side".
"But could you do the thing?".
I raised a curious brow at Wrecker. "What thing?"
"You know". He positioned his arms up and at his sides while gesturing with his fingers into the air, wiggling them all strange like. "That lightning stuff?"
I furrowed my brows. "If I could, I wouldn't use it. It's a dangerous power that unattended could be deadly". That seemed to unsettle the whole table. Wrecker mouthed to me a sorry to which I sent him a gentle smile. He was just curious after all.
"Does that mean your powers are okay again?" Omega asked changing the object.
"Yes. When I embraced my chosen path I could feel the full might of the force flow freely through me again—"
Her eyes twinkled. "What was it like?. Her wonder was truly a thing of beauty.
"Like I was whole again. Like I had found another missing piece of myself after so long".
Hunter smirked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Another missing piece? What or who was the first?"
I narrowed my eyes at him and smirked right back. "You know perfectly well who".
Underneath the table I felt Tech slip his hand into me and bringing them to rest on his thigh. A simple touch that sent a warming shiver down my spine.
"I did not know we had a happy couple amongst us". Shep stated taking a look between Tech and I. "How long may I ask?"
It was not very difficult to tell that we were together. As Tech tended to drift his body closer to mine and his endless prolonged glances usually gave him away in an instant.
For most of dinner Shep had been very attentive to my self discovery journey. Chiming in at several times to ask for more context. I was more then happy to oblige him. After all him and Phee were the most unfamiliar with Jedi culture. Even more so then Omega.
"Just a little over a year". I answered, sparing Shep from one of Tech's long winded responses.
"I see. Well I must say you two look very taken with each other. Especially you Tech". His observation was spot on. In usual situations like this Tech would be too flustered to speak. This time however was different. Instead he stared at me with stars in his eyes and a fondness in his heart.
His mouth curved upwards. "She has captivated my very being".
"The feeling is very much mutual". I said with such a fierce tenderness.
"It's wonderful to hear. Though". Shep coughed, clearing his throat. A bit nervous he appeared in his body language. "It may not be my place to ask, but have you two thought about your future together?"
Everyone looked from one another in bewilderment before landing on the two is us in question. Hunter and Tech seemed to be the only two not phased by the question. Especially Tech. Though Hunter wasn't far behind him.
The two of them exchanged a look that was throwing me off. Like they knew something that the rest of us did not. I squinted my gaze at the two of them. What was Tech up to?
"We've thought about it, but not concretely". I looked around at my team. My family. "Given our...circumstances, it's been difficult to give it much thought".
Omega's abrupt laughter at a creature, with a long tail jumping on her shoulder jolted all of our attention to her. Her laughter was infectious and so pure. I had never heard her laugh like that in some time. And it melted my heart.
And I caught the warm smile that broke out on Hunter's lips. That warmed my heart too. He had truly become more like her father then her brother. That was crystal clear to see.
"Well." Shep patted Hunter on the back. "You couldn't ask for a better place to raise a child". He suggested. "Nor a better place to settle down".
Tech's chestnut brown eyes stared at the side profile of my features as I smiled over at our little ball of laughter.
"I could not agree more".
Next chapter guys! Omg! It might be my favorite chapter of all the chapters, so far! I'm so excited for you guys to read it. I poured my heart and soul into it.😊♥️
And some tears were shed.