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Rakim:
Ty Im really sorry
its quiet. rakim lifts his head from his phone. he watches his reflection through his glass of half-filled lukewarm tap water. it's pretty; the cup. with these pretty purple flowers painted on them messily. he glances over to the other side of the dining table. the phones ringing. the sound is flat, irritating - but hes more worried that its probably the eleventh time tylers mom has called tyler. and he hasn't picked up. not even once. rakim lifts his eyes from his dinner.
the sound stops she sighs, shutting her phone. "where the hell could he have gone at this time?" she looks over to the window, then back at the table.
rakim darts his eyes down. he feels like a piece of shit. part of him wants to go out and look for tyler. but the other part of him knows that hes probably the last person he wants to see right now. any spare moment he has to think; he goes back to what had happened. and what he said. and what tyler said. and what rakim did - and how he grabbed him and how utterly upset tyler looked.
i like you.
he didnt know how to react - he likes tyler. more than anything. but hes never liked a guy before. and - he realised it, at that moment that he liked him too. and he didnt know how to react - and started freaking out and being stupid.
he pokes at his vegetables with his fork.
"i - i don't know whats wrong with that boy, rakim."
rakim chews at his cheek. he looks at her. "it's my fault - we got into..an argument."
"he's sixteen. he can't just run away when something he don't like happens."
Rakim:
I didnt mean to scare u. Or react like that
Can we pls talk? In rl
This is all new 2 me
rakim shrugs, bringing his eyes back up. "he'll come back, im sure. he probably just went to get fresh air." his eyes dart down. back to his phone. he scrolls through his contacts.
Rakim:
Do yk where ty is?
Syd is typing....
Syd:
hes w us
at franks place
wtf happened?
Rakim:
What happened? Is he ok??
Syd:
hes on his 3rd bottle n its been like 20 mins
so no ig
Rakim:
Put him on the phone w me?
I needa talk to him asap
"when he does come back, imma make sure hes never leaving." she sighs. rakim looks up. his stomach twists.
"don't be too hard on him -" he tries. she deadpans at him.
"and why the hell should i listen to a seventeen year ol –"
Syd:
told him
n he said fuck off
srsly wtf happened???
Rakim:
I messed up
He confessed to me
Syd:
?!!??
Syd is calling...
rakim looks up. "i have to take this – i'll be back." he gets up immediately, and goes into the bathroom.
"is it tyler –"
he locks the door and answers the phone. there's a moment of silence. he brings it to his ear.
"..syd?"
in the background he can hear domo rapping - maybe, and taco cheering, and some music being blasted through a speaker.
suddenly theres the sound of a door slamming, and all the background noise halts. He hears fidgeting. and tyler.
"fuckin' talk to him, ty!"
"fuck no -"
"ty?" rakim says. theres a pause. then another door slam.
"...what?" tyler croaks.
rakim feels his heart beating like crazy. fuck. he can't mess up - not again.
"..your moms worried as hell." rakim chokes out. fuckfuckfuck shut upshut up. talk - say something important.. he takes a deep breath. "im sorry. I didnt mean to say what i said. i - i feel the same way."
theres a pause. he hears tylers heavy breathing. hes definitely drunk. rakim doesnt know if thats..better or worse.
"...you like me too?" tyler slurs. rakim hesitates, for a moment. he knows he likes tyler - he jut doesn't know if hes ready to say it. Or if hes even ready to be in a relationship with another guy.
"..yes." he mumbles, quietly, almost a whisper. " i wasn't sure before. but i am now. i - i like you."
"oh my god." tyler says, and rakim swears he can hear the smile on his face. a small smile tugs at his own lips.
"im sorry for being treating you lik–"
"rakim. i dont care. treat me however you want." he blurts out. "i - im so fucking happy right now."
rakim laughs nervously. he leans against the wall.
"does this mean we're - we're like dating now?" tyler mumbles. immediately, the smile slips off rakims lips.
"i - i don't know if i -"
"but you like me." tyler blurts. he sounds so excited. "and i like you. so what the fuck are we waiting for?"
"..yeah. but i don't know, ty. if im ready to tell people."
tyler ohs. theres a moment of silence. "thats okay. we dont have to tell anyone, if you dont wanna. it can just be like - a secret."
rakim stares at the ceiling, mindlessly. he feels like an even bigger asshole. the thing is - he likes tyler. more than anything. but - but he can't imagine dating him. ever.
and kali.
"do you really wanna be a...secret?
theres more shuffling. he thinks he hears tyler sip on something.
"i don't mind. i just wanna be with you."
rakim shuts his eyes. "..tyler i can't date you, okay?"
"why?"
he takes a deep breath. "im dating someone." he blurts. he knows tylers about to speak so he opens his mouth again, beating him to it. "..listen, we just started dating today. its been like five fucking hours. i can't just break up with her."
"you'd break up with her if you really like me?!" tyler breathes out, voice cracking. "why the fuck did you call me?"
"ty -"
"no, seriously. why the fuck did you call me? to get my fucking hopes up for no reason after fucking rejecting me just to reject me agai -"
rakim panics. fuck. hes messing up. again. shitshitshit. he speaks over the other male. "tyler, i like you - alot, so much. but we can't be together, okay? we just fucking can't."
"why?!" tyler yells, over the phone.
"because you're a guy - i can't, i can't date a guy. i'll never hear the end of it."
"fuck you." tyler mumbles. "your a fucking pussy."
rakim blinks. he thinks theres tears forming at his eyes. "i know. im sorry. you probably think im some asshole–"
"yeah." tyler interrupts. he takes another sip. "because you are. your the biggest fucking asshole. and your a fucking faggot and -"
"i dont wanna loose you." rakim cuts. "ty - can we still be friends? dont hang up -"
tyler scoffs. "stay the fuck away from me."
"ty -"
the call ends.
(updates might not be as frequent because school just started again!!)