This was probably the most ridiculous you've ever felt.
Clad in your boy's school uniform that you got from your older brother, a binder that felt like it was destroying your blood circulation, and layered in one of your dad's old winter jackets that would hopefully hide your figure more than the baggy uniform and protect you from the cold. Finally, a wig that made you feel almost like Justin Bieber. You fixed your tie and took a step out of the car into the parking lot of the building you needed to meet everyone at.
Pao stands up from the other side of that car marveling at his creation. "Are you sure I can do this?!" You whisper yell at him.
"Oh, yeah. Absolutely."
You grab the backpack from the car and smile towards a random old man who walks by, "Hi."
"Hi."
"Omigod, omigod, he knew!" You jam your head back into the small car. "I wanna go home!"
"Relax, relax. He was just being friendly!" Poe tried to comfort you. "We're not going home!"
"This is all just a waste I'm going to get found out-!"
"Stop it-!"
"A man is going to try and make out with me and grope me-!"
"You look fine-!"
"I have a small bladder, what if I pee myself-!"
"You ain't going to piss yourself-!"
"But my uterus-!"
"I did not just spend all this time-!"
"Drive me home! It's your fault-!"
"My fault?! You asked me-!"
"I should have brought pepper spray-!"
"I'm a good friend, I did your hair-!"
"Omigod the showers-!"
"And makeup-!"
"Drive me home-!"
"We're not going! Go!" With a strong shove, he pushed you out of the car,r and you landed butt-first on the pavement. He crawls through the car through your side and helps you off the pavement and onto your feet. "Okay, now, let's run through it one more time. Let me hear the voice."
You cough and steady your breathing. "Hey. What's up? I'm [l/n]" You say in a deep voice.
"Alright, now show me the strut." You nodded and turned around to walk, strides long and wonky with an open mouth, chewing on invisible gum. You swirl on your heel and look at him optimistically. "Now hawk a loogie," you look at him disgusted. "Come on, just do it." You open your mouth and rasp out before finally spitting onto a small weed. "I'm so proud!" He giggles and grabs you for a hug but you smack him with the letter of acceptance from Blue Lock mumbling, "Get off me," as you looked around the vacant parking lot.
"Remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong. But you know what I mean." He smiled at you patting your shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you," you say, a pang in your chest.
"I know," he smiles. "Be a good boy." He pats your shoulder and pushes you away from him. "[y/n], you turn around to look at him one last time. "Ball," he tossed a soccer ball to you, and you caught it with a grateful smile, mouthing 'bye' before finally walking away. You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to blink away the welling tears. Sniffling, you wiped your eyes with your knuckle.
You walk towards the entrance reading, 'JAPAN FOOTBALL UNION' on a silver plaque. You took a deep breath, watching your breath form misty swirls in front of your brother's Blue Lock acceptance letter. 'This has to be it,' you thought to yourself.
Stepping inside the building and seeing all the boys, you felt like you were spinning on an axis, or maybe it was just the heat. 'Do they know? Omigod they know!' You fought to stand still holding your breath. 'How are like half of these guys still wearing their coats?' You tried not to let your eyes bulge out of your head, your body already breaking a sweat from the heat generated by being around 100 hormonal, sweaty boys.
You decided to look around the room to make sure to avoid anyone if you recognized them
'Ok, let's see. I spy with my little eye- oh- oh what even it that? A fuzzy turd..? He's got some fine eyebrows tho- Omigod no.' Trying to shake your head out of your delusions you continue looking around.
You look behind the man with the large hair and spot two similar-looking guys, 'they have the Lacoste logo on their head and eyebrows... Wait, how did Blue Lock let in twins? Seems a little unfair to me.' You cut yourself off from trying to hate on everyone realizing that their probably thinking the same about you.
You look around again and see two guys in uniforms that stuck out from the normal black and beige uniforms. 'He's so tall,' you think to yourself looking at the one with white hair. 'The purple one looks like he's about to kill someone tho.'
Looking around you luckily didn't find yourself finding Rin in the crowd. However, what did catch your attention was blonde hair with purple highlights. You zoned out, staring at it as you tried to divert your focus and prevent yourself from freaking out thinking everyone in that massive room was looking at you and knew.
Your attention remained on the vibrant hair until the suddenly turned off, causing you to jump slightly. "Eh, uhh..." Blinking, you turned toward the stage, snapping out of your daze. You didn't notice the owner of the bright hair raising his brow at you with a teasing smirk. "Congratulations, diamonds in the rough."
'Diamonds in the rough? I swear I've heard of that before.' You thought to yourself, slightly annoyed at not immediately remembering.
A spotlight beamed down onto a tall, lanky chopstick-looking man that had the haircut and glasses of a man in an orange jumpsuit from a movie you used to watch all the time as a kid. "You are the 300 18-and-under strikers who have been chosen according to my arbitrary and biased decision-making."
''300? That means I'm in a room with 299 other dudes, wait no 300 other men and that just means- it's going to smell like the inside of a hippo's booty,' You mentally sobbed hoping you remembered to bring Febreze or anything to mask the mustiness. 'Wait, did he just say he decided? Nah, no way. There's no way a sane man would decide to pick [b/n]. Unless this man isn't sane. He's insane. What kind of hell did I sign up for?'
"And I am Ego Jinpachi, the man hired to make sure Japan wins the World Cup." Murmurs spread through the crowd. "You won't be allowed to go home, and you'll say goodbye to whatever soccer life you've been living up to now. But I promise you this: If you manage to survive and beat out the 299 other guys here to become the last man standing, you will be the world's greatest striker. That is all. Nice to meet you."
You snort under your breath at his words. 'Any random man from Brazil could solo anyone here.'
"Um, excuse me. I can't agree to the conditions you just laid out." You hear a comforting voice come from the middle of the room. You cant see whos taking or get a real grasp from a random spot from the back. "Each of us has a team that's important to us. Some of us have nationals coming up. I can't abandon my team to participate in some nonsensical program."
You can hear other voices chiming in to agree, but you look down and squeeze your hands together, biting your lip. You know he's right, but you just don't want to say anything. You're ashamed to not voice your opinion when you normally would. It's just that you don't know anyone here, and you don't already want to get found out... right? You just wanted to blend in.
"I see. You're all seriously ill then." Ego raises his hands, "Lock off. Anyone who wants to leave can go. Is becoming the number one high school team in this backwards country more important to you than becoming the world's best striker? Ah? Just thinking that the future of Japan is in your hands makes me lose hope." You were starting to get bored. "Listen up."
And that's when it hit you. 'Diamonds in the rough, that's it!' You smile to yourself, proud that you remembered. Lightly humming to yourself and swaying your head up and down, you slowly start humming the lyrics you remember, "Diamond in the rough, diamond in the rough. I am hot, like a frying pan. Diamond in the rough. Yeah, I'm one out of one billion. Blowing up in every direction. You can call me one direction. Cooking up sauce, like I am Chef Prego." you block out whatever was going on as you close your eyes and try and relax.
"I'll play your dumb game, shithead!"
"Me too!"
A hard thud to your shoulder knocks you out of it, and you realize everyone is running towards an exit. You reach up to grab your head to protect your wig from falling off as boys run past you. An occasional 'move it!' mixed in.
Once you were finally the last one left, except for Ego who was making his way off stage, you see the same highlighted hair you weren't so sneakily staring at earlier. Looking at his hair, you don't even notice the owner's pink eyes looking right at you, a smirk making its way onto his tanned skin. Slowly looking down you jumped in your skin at the slit irises making eye contact with you.
You watched as he raised his hand to wave at you while you awkwardly turned your head to look around the... Now empty room. Yeah, no, he was definitely waving at you, no way to get out of that. You squint your face in confusion to make sure he was waving at you, raising your hand to point at yourself. "Me?" you asked, just making sure you weren't about to embarrass yourself more if that was possible.
'Who else,' he mouthed, looking like he was on the verge of calling you an idiot sandwich but he went along.
You walk up to him with the strut you were working on with Pao, "hEy!" Your voice cracks, "Hey! What up?" you squint your eyes, furrowing your brows at the bad introduction, and try to smile before awkwardly frowning and trying to make a normal face.
He looks at you with a smirk obviously entertained by you. "So what's your thing? Want to become the world's best striker or something?" he asked, wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you into his chest. 'Why is he being so friendly? What if I don't smell like sweat and blood or whatever men smell like?' You mentally cry.
You see his eyes glance towards your bag, and before you know it, the arm around your neck tightens in place as his arm shoots towards your backpack unzipping it. "NO-!" you squeal, voice almost piercing, with the voice of a boy going through puberty. You try to run away but the arm on your neck tightens making you let out a strained noise and forcing you to run in place.
"Why's it so big? You got some porno mags in here or something, Twiglet?" He smirks, opening it up again with his hand still trapping you. 'He's dangerous! What do I do? What do I do?' Before you can do anything, he looks at your cleat on the top of your bag. 'That's the last thing I put in there, no!' "The hell is this?" He looks at the box as if it's a weapon, then grabs it and examines it in his hands, studying it from all angles. "Tampons? The fuck. You like sticking it up your ass or something?" He looks at you with piercing slit eyes.
Your eyes widen, and your face scrunches up as you look up, trying to think up an excuse fast. "Um..." Your mouth widens and closes with your brows crunching up, "I get really bad nose bleeds."
"So you stick them up your nose?" he snorts.
"Yeah, what? You've never tried it?" You try to blow it off like it's obvious, but he just looks at you, his smirk widening. "We do it all the time on my team."
"Seriously?" He asks, trying to wrap his mind around it as you slowly continue walking down the hall with him in toe.
"Look. I'll just show you how to do it." You yoink the box from his hands grabbing a tampon from it before putting it into your cleat. Luckily he releases you from his grip for you to close your backpack. "Take that off and..." you scoff and take off the wrapping, throwing it onto the floor along with the rest of the tampon, his eyes following every little detail you made. "Whatever that is," you hold the tampon in your hand swaying it in your hand, and twist the material into your nose. "...and just stick it in... it absorbs right up," you shrug.
The man with thick lashes looks at you before laughing, almost bending in half as he grips his stomach. "Are you kidding me? You're a freak Twiglet!" He snickers, grabbing your shoulder in a surprisingly painful grip that's probably going to leave a mark for a while. He looks up, thinking he's done laughing before staring at your face and shaking, before bursting out in laughter again shaking your shoulder and you with it. "Your team's going to be pathetic," He cackles, still keeping a death grip on your shoulder.
«────── « Additional Time » ──────»
Anri bends down and picks up the discarded tampon from the floor. "A tampon...?" She questions, holding it delicately between her thumb and pointer finger. She slowly rotates it around her fingers, her face scrunching up in confusion. "Is there a... no! No way! Blue Lock wouldn't." She tries to laugh it off, but there's a nagging feeling in the back of her head, prompting her to keep a closer eye on the game footage.
I need to give Shidou more out-of-pocket horny lines.