Idiots to Lovers (bxb)

By itsmeimthevampire

354K 20.8K 16.2K

||WATTY WINNER 2023🌟|| Two strangers pretend to be a couple to win a dumb bet. The wager: they must enrol in... More

1 | Neon Nike's and Chocolate Muffins
2 | Sunlight, Buttercups, and All Things Yellow
3 | Lost Keys and Grandma's Wrestling Career
4 | A Bit-too-sweet Cake and the Future of the Galaxy
5 | Faking Allergies and Losing At Therapy
6 | Fake Orchids and Exchanging Numbers
7 | The Pain of Having an Older Sibling
8 | A Furious Manager and A Brave Escapade
9 | Stolen Ice Cream and Sneaky Sheep
10 | Breaking Eggs For A Hundred Cupcakes
11 | Lumpy Toadstools and Fondant Flowers
12 | Rainbow Caterpillar and The Chair Pile
13 | Three Reasons Why
14 | A Depressing Spotify Playlist
15 | Just Two Bros Making Christmas Cake
16 | Roller Skates and Disco Lights
17 | random short chapter just here to piss my readers off xP
18 | why can't this boy just go out and do something instead of listening to...
19 | The Allergies Are For Real This Time (I Swear)
20 | Breaking Brownies and a Bit of Bribery
21 | Happy Songs and Runny Eggs
Part Two - taking reader requests for special scenes
22 | That Annoying Beam of Light That Wakes You Every Morning
23 | Always Keep Your Phone on Silence When Sneaking Around
24 | The Addiction Starts
25 | House on Fire
26 | Things Only Get Worse Where Everett Is Concerned
27 | The Not-Very-Relaxing Drive
Bonus | Poem by Brian
28 | Ice-cream Date
Flashback | So Far In The Friendzone
Flashback | It Was Most Definitely A Date, Right?
Flashback | It doesn't make a difference if he's gay-he still wouldn't like you
29 | You've sucked me into the absolute torture that is Wattpad
30 | Glow in the dark stickers
31 | Honestly, I do not trust everett and I do not trust whatever he is planning
32 | How Many Kinds of Green Are There Anyway?
33 | Paint Got On Everything Except For The Wall
34 | This Was Really Not My Fault
35 | The Mandatory Fairground Date In Every Wattpad Book
36 | Everyone Knows Carnival Games Are Rigged
37 | Baby You're A Haunted House
38 | No Space For You on My Beanbag
40 | Snow Monster
41 | Secret Recipe Hot Chocolate
42 | This is why you should never preheat the oven
43 | A Big, Huge, Giant Hat
44 | A big ball of cake rolling across the floor
45 | Bon-Bons and (Not) Baking
46 | Christmas at the Cafe
47 | Gingerbread House
48 | Practice is Overrated
49 | A Festive Surprise
50 | Caramel Candycane Christmas Candle β„’
51 | A Controversial Christmas Present
52 | In The Moonlight
Authors Note
Quiz | Which Character Am I?

39 | That Questionable Christmas Cake From Earlier

2.8K 186 78
By itsmeimthevampire

"You can't use that for the base, Everett. There is no structural integrity."

He was arranging the sofa cushions into two teetering piles. They were small and round, the satiny material making it too slippery to stack.

"It doesn't need structure, it's a pillow fort!" He tossed a blanket over the pile, collapsing it instantly.

"Just use the sofa back as a foundation,
you don't need to build one."

"But then where is the moral integrity?"

I picked up a cushion and threw it at him. Everett laughed, ducking behind the beanbag. A moment later he was armed with a huge pillow. My eyes widened just as he swung it at me, knocking me to the ground. I rolled behind the pile of cushions, stacking a few more to make a barricade.

"Hey." A soft whisper sounded against my ear, sending a shiver down my neck.

I glanced over to see Everett at my side. "How did you get in here?"

He tapped at the pillow wall. "Your barricade is flimsy."

I leaned against the sofa back, grabbing a few more cushions to build the other side. Everett pulled a blanket over it when I was done. It was midnight blue with stars and moons. I stared up at the makeshift sky. The overhead lights filtered through the stars, making them glow. They reflected in Everett's starry eyes. His hair was blue under the light, curls falling over his face.

"Your hair is messy," I whispered, brushing a stray curl off to the side. Another fell in its place.

He sighed. "You can't fix it."

"I like it."

I twisted a silky lock around my finger, bringing it to my lips. Everett shifted closer to me, his long lashes brushing feather light over my cheek as he blinked. His breath was warm against my face, heating me to the core. His hair was still wrapped around my fingers and my thoughts were getting away from me. I tried to stop imagining all the places his pretty head of hair could be.

Everett looped his arms around my neck. "Are you having dirty thoughts?"

I gave out a sudden laugh which sounded forced even to my ears. "No, why would you ask that?"

"You're going red like a tomato." He grinned teasingly, moved closer till our foreheads touched.

"I am not red," I protested, even as I felt my face heating up more.

He brushed a finger across my cheek. "Hm, mhm. Must be allergies." He smiled. "My bad."

Before I could think up a witty response, his lips were on mine, pushing all coherent thought away. My mind floundered, unable to string a sentence together. All I could think of was how soft Everett's curls were against my cheek and how he smelled of burnt caramel. His hands cupped my face, thumb brushing over my fast beating pulse. My heart fell out of rhythm as his fingers traced down my neck.

The air was getting hot inside the fort, breaths getting shorter and more rapid. He leaned into me, his body pressed against mine, sharp collarbone digging into my chest. He dragged his mouth down to my neck and started working back up to my ear. I bit down hard on my bottom lip as I felt his tongue run over my skin. I think he had realized that was my weak spot by now.

Everett pushed me back into the pile of cushions. My elbow knocked into the pillow wall and the entire structure collapsed around us. The makeshift roof floated down until the stars and moons blanketed us both.

"You see what I mean," he muttered against my ear. "Flimsy."

"Y-you pushed me into it." I exhaled lightly, batting the thick blanket away.

"Did I?" Everett shifted his weight to his knees, seemingly to allow me space to breathe. Unfortunately, his knees were right over my vital organs.

I groaned. "I think those were my kidneys."

"Oh, sorry!"

"It's fine, I'm...used to it."

"Used to- to what?" He scrambled into a crosslegged position, lightly kicking me in the process.

"The pain you cause me."

Everett tried to huff but burst out laughing instead. I whacked him with a pillow and he wrestled it out of my grasp. Giving up on the fort, I collapsed on the beanbag instead, pulling him onto me.

"Hey do you want some Christmas cake?" he asked after a while.

"It's November."

"It's wintertime! I think it might start snowing soon. Maybe even today," he added conspiratorially.

"It snowed a bit in the morning, just before I left the house."

Everett gasped. "And you didn't think to tell me? It was the first snow of the season!" He pouted. "I missed it."

"It wasn't a proper snow," I quickly amended. "Barely a few flakes really."

"Okay then, I guess it doesn't count." Everett beamed. "Let me go grab the tray."

"Tray?"

"I haven't cut it yet."

I trailed behind him to the kitchen. The counters were laden with stacks and stacks of trays, all filled to brim with Christmas cake.

"Gonna start selling these soon at the cafe," he explained, pulling a tray out from the bottom. Like a horrifying—frankly Godless—version of Jenga. "But this batch is for us."

I threw myself at the counter, catching the topmost two trays before they crashed to the ground. "Wait, by this batch do you mean...."

"Yup, that's the one." Everett winked. "It turned out good, see." He held it out to me.

The cake was quite literally liquid. It was like crumbled up bits of cake in a sea of a alcohol. Red and green cherries floated around on the surface, so big and bloated that they looked like they were going to burst. The smell alone was close to making me feel lightheaded.

"God, Everett. That reeks."

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