HIBISCUS AWARDS MYSTERY THRILLER CATEGORY RESULTS 🌺
Dear writers, I am extremely honored to have judged your books. After reading the required amount of chapters and following the rubrics given, I have arrived at the following results:
~ BlueCirci1
Judges: BlueCirci1 and kinalhariya
Thank you both so much!!
And now the results :)
12. Preejun ff kashmakash by salley145
Average Score: 4.5
The idea itself is unoriginal and the plot moves too fast. Description too needs more work and pacing could use a pull back. I get this is a fanfiction but it's not an excuse not to give character details and better description. It was fun to see preeta face obstacles and see how she reacts and overcomes those situations. Your writing technique needs more showing and not telling. Although your works has bits and pieces of a thriller, it doesn't fully accommodate the concept of a mystery thriller. It was fun to read and I wish you all the best on your writing journey.
11.Total Eclipse of the Heart by strawberry1d
Average Score: 5.1
The point of view used was unclear. When writing it is best to keep readers thinking the characters are absolutely fictional and unreal. If it seems at a point that the author is getting involved it immediately puts off the reader. In writing it is called showing and not telling, when you described the brothers you could've shown their dislikes without you telling us what they're dislikes are. I hope you find this helpful and I would add that the concept is fun. Thank you for entering your work into this contest.
10. Each of us has a story to tell by craftychicken
Average Score: 5.8
The idea behind this is absolutely lovely but unfortunately your writing technique made it fall short of what was intended. Character description needs a lot of work and so does development. The dialogues felt forced and it broke the wall intended to keep your readers from the author. I would advise that you see the scenes happening in real time and your MC are life-like. Adopt more of showing and not telling, not in all of your writing but in some scenes that will draw in your readers. I love the idea and concept this has and I would love to read it when you revise it. Thank you for entering your work into this award,it was an honour judging.
9. Black or White by DeathBlade__
Average Score: 6.2
The layers of the plot move synchronously with each other. From description to character building it was beautiful. Pacing in this story doesn't blend well with the idea of the plot. Along with too much details you included that the readers do not need. It is good to add detail but too much can make the story bland and almost feel like work. If you know that the information you are giving to the readers is not necessary then don't give it. Reading this story was fun. Keep on writing and I wish you best of luck.
8. 128 by ZapZac27
Average Score: 6.8
This was nerve-wracking to read. I loved the bits and pieces of absolute chaos thrown into this. I do think your dialogues were leading but it didn't ruin the work. Thank you for entering your work into this award. I enjoyed reading. Keep writing!
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Untangled by Stephanie_Aston
Av: 6.8
I had a big issue with your blurb. It had no leading information about what to expect from your story. I understand that dialogues can be used for this but they way you utilised it was not it. Use a narrator as an alternative for your blurb, it will marinate well and make your story more appeasing to read.
7. A Blade of Dead Poems by CubistPerson
Average Score:
I loved the way you used dialogue as a way to pace your scenes. It all marinated wonderfully with each other. The title is soothing yet the cover is chaotic in a good way. Your pacing seemed a little off to me. Reading this was a great and the mental gymnastics you put your readers through is truly astounding. Thank you for entering your work into this award. I had the absolute honor of judging. Keep writing!
6. The Camelords: Chaos Reign by Eternal-Theory
Average Score: 7.4
I love your style of writing. Even your blurb feels like it was written by a narrator in the world you have created. From detail to world-building,your story is absolutely beautiful. The excitement, unanswered questions and emotions gives your readers no room to even doubt these characters are not real. I can see you put a lot of work into this and it marinates well with your style of writing, your attention to showing not telling was outstanding. I love the chaos you've created with your head. I'm honored to have judged your story. I would love to add that you can take it easy on description, being heavy handed on it can cause unnecessary accumulation of knowledge that your readers do not need and ultimately make the story hard to keep up with.
5. Drugs, Treason, and other Demons by HappyCoati
Average Score: 8.2
I must commend the amazing dialogue you weaved into this story. It was immaculate. As a reader I could feel each character own their own. Pacing was awesome, I love the title and attention to detail. Thank you for entering your work into this award.
4. Rhelm of Secrets Emeralds by Harushu27Thamizini
Average Score: 8.5
Title and cover are suitable for each other. I like the concept behind the blurb. Paragraphs are made at appropriate places too. However, sentence formations need a little work. The poem was beautiful. The female lead's love for nature is beautifully portrayed in her actions. The efforts and compassion male lead has put for the case got across the readers really well. Mystery starts off slowly, letting us know we are in for a long ride. There are a few grammatical errors, but nothing that would break the flow of the story. Plot is interesting. There are a few dialogues that are just awesome. I wish I could point them all out. Overall, it was an interesting read.
🥉 Beyond Reasonable Doubt by MiniMoxx
Average Score: 9
I enjoyed reading this book ,you easily get wrapped into the storyline and there's hardly a boring chapter. Point of view used intertwines in a way not many people can do,it's not an easy writing technique to pull off.There were little to none of spelling errors or grammatical blunder.The writer is quite outspoken. I can hardly find any flaws but there are a few things that need to be worked on.When writing you need to adopt an objective for your protagonist (s) really fast as it can get quite boring and tasteless if you don't.
Some scenes were overly exaggerated and character description can use a little more work. It was fun and exciting to go along on this journey with River and see it unfold in a way that is absolutely stunning. Great work to you and I wish you more creativity and diversity on your writing journey
&
The Whitby Dossier by BellofSilence
Av. 9
Title is good. I especially liked the subtitle. It enhances the title. The start of the blurb is full of interesting pointers. I think it would look better if they are shown individually instead of a paragraph. Overall, the blurb is written quite well.Prologue created a great hook. The descriptions are too good. I can imagine everything clearly. Plot has just started but it seems unique. I like the mix of mystery and paranormal. The intensity and emotions of characters are displayed well. Their silent care, their frustration; this is portrayed beautifully. I enjoyed reading the chapters.
🥈 Neighbor by bosandaros
Average Score: 9.3
Title is subtle yet apt. Blurb is cut to the point yet interesting. It made me want to read the story right away. Some work can be done on cover.
Getting to know the story from the point of views of both the killer and investigator(forensic) is amazing. Characters are unique and well-developed. The way a psychotic mind works is so well portrayed, especially the part that clearly depicts how normal it is for them like an everyday chore. The parts where Zed gets a bit scared and paranoid is shown really well. The parrot is giving out some really hard clues. I like the way the story builds up adrenaline even though readers know the other side of the story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the story.
🥇 The Last Witness by victorampeire
Average Score: 9.5
Title is perfect. It gives off a mysterious vibe. Cover is okayish and can be worked upon. Blurb is surely interesting. It managed to grab my attention. The starting two paragraphs are written brilliantly. The last paragraph is good but can be made more hooking.
Prologue is written really well. It connects us with the character and at the same manages to raise so many questions. I like how we get separate chapters for the main characters, getting to know them a bit before they meet. Solving a case from forty-one years ago and meeting the past and present characters is a unique take. The back and forth between the past and present is interesting too. I really enjoyed reading the story. Great work.
Congratulations to the winners! Thank you all for joining!!