T W E L V E
do you like me, like me, or just like me?
You see, I'm prone to a little something called existential dread. It hits me like a truck and I end up staring at a wall for the better part of an hour rethinking every choice and interaction I have ever had in my entire life.
Why did I tell Georgie that she looked like a really pretty horse?
Why did I call my psychiatrist a raging cunt?
Why didn't I tell Mary that she was a snake for telling the teacher I smoked in the bathroom? Why did I smoke in the bathroom next to the teacher's break room?
When I finally stopped staring at the roof, I brushed my teeth, got changed into the tank top I wore yesterday and got ready to head out the door in the same outfit as yesterday, I am really feeling the existential dread.
I wonder if I can Deliveroo the pill to my door? Avoid any potential rumours. Because if the people of the Outer Banks like doing one thing, it's gossiping. Secretly praying on the downfall of others, just for shits and giggles. Whether you live in The Cut or Figure Eight, everyone loves small-town gossip.
After the dramatic last few days, the last thing I want to hear is a senile drunk man talking about who I'm sleeping with. Or prissy women judging the fact I don't want to pop out babies.
The automatic doors to the old chemist slide open, and an alarm chimes as we walk inside.
JJ walks in just behind me, we have hardly talked. He asked if I was sure it would work, I told him yes, I'm sure it would work. It may not be 100% but according to Googling and my period app, it'll work.
I am a master at the art of googling.
This isn't my usual chemist where I pick up my antidepressants—a conscious choice, the last thing I need is the hot pharmacist seeing my purchase with JJ Maybank in tow. Not a great look, or start to the life I have decided we will have.
An old woman with short greying hair pinned back in a claw clip, sporting old, worn glasses stocks Eucalyptus cough drops on the shelf next to the counter. With the chime, she turns to look at me and smiles, "Is there anything I can help you with?" She asks.
"No, I'm all good." I smile back at her. She looks judgemental, you can just tell, her face is wrinkled in a way you can see the pinched look she gave every person she disagreed with. God forbid anyone does something you wouldn't. She looks like she's the age people get heart conditions, hopefully, a teenager buying emergency contraception won't send her into heart failure.
Surely popping a pill is better than popping out a baby?
She'd judge either way, you can't win with people like her.
I walk down the winding aisles, JJ touches stuff occasionally. A haemorrhoid cream falls from the shelf, hitting the linoleum floors with a resounding smack.
"Shit," he curses. The woman looks over, the pinched look I knew she sported covers her face.
"Would you like me to buy that for you, JJ?" I ask.
"Hay...hem? How the fuck do you say that?" He looks at me, as soon as a word exceeds ten letters he couldn't read it if his life depended on it.
"Haemorrhoid cream," I tell him blankly.
He puts the cream back with a slightly horrified look, "No, I don't need that." He shakes his head, turning to me and walking over, pushing my back gently to get me to leave the cream in our tracks.
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, I wouldn't judge." I don't let the issue go.
He scoffs, "Yes, you would."
We walk down the next aisle, eventually getting to the feminine health section. I pass pregnancy tests and tampons, eventually finding what I'm looking for.
"How many do you need? Probably more than one, just to be safe, right?" He looks at them.
"I don't think that's how it works, plus explaining I overdosed on Plan B would be very awkward." I grab a box, looking it over. Seems like it'd be good enough.
JJ looks at the price tag, "Do you want me to pay?" He offers.
"Do you have a singular dollar in your pocket right now?" I ask him, his hands tap his pockets. He digs into one and pulls out a receipt.
"No. Not currently."
I nod, "Thought so." I wander down the aisle toward the cooler shelf filled with drinks and grab a bottle of water, then a Mars Bar to throw down with it.
JJ walks beside me to the register, seeing the two of us coming the woman walks around behind the till. I dump the items on the counter and smile at her, trying my very best not to be awkward, that'll only make things worse. "Just these, thanks." I greet her.
She gives me a thin smile, then looks back to JJ. Her fingers covered in tacky rings that have turned her skin green, grab the drink bottle and run it passed the scanner, she then scans the Mars Bar, her hands grab the pack then stop moving.
Great.
"Is this for you?" She asks, looking at me with a pinched expression.
"Well, it isn't for him," I tell her, not letting my words shake. I am not in the mood for this.
"Do you know what this pill does?"
"It says on the box. It's an emergency contraceptive used if you have had unprotected sex in the last three days. I'll pay by card, thanks." I pull out the piece of plastic and hold it up, waiting for the machine to turn on.
"You do know there are other options. What's your name?" she won't let it drop.
"My name isn't relevant to this conversation and throwing myself down the stairs doesn't tickle my fancy, and the hanger isn't much better. I have places to be," I stress. She presses the button, and I scan my card. I grab my items, "I don't need the receipt. Have a wonderful day, Miss." I give her a painfully fake smile.
I turn and storm out of the pharmacy, walking straight over the street. JJ jogs to catch up with me, "Are you okay?"
"Peachy. Put this in your pocket, would you?" I ask, he nods and grabs the box and shoves it into his unfairly big pockets.
"Heyward's is just around the corner, like five minutes away," he tells me.
I don't say anything, annoyed at the world. Cracking open the water I chug some back, the midday heat getting to me. Using my teeth to rip open the plastic, I start demolishing the chocolate bar.
"About last night," JJ starts, clearing his throat. I hum for him to continue after a second of silence. I think he's trying to collect his thoughts. "I know the whole deal thing is done, but we don't have to, you know, stop sleeping together. You know, we wouldn't need to be so careful."
He looks across at me after I don't say anything.
"What's that supposed to mean? Because I'm now not only the crazy girl, but now I'm also the tramp," I'm trying my very best to not sound like I care about the list of monikers being attached to my name, but I do care. "I know you said you didn't care, but I did just get my head cracked open, so you may have felt a little sympathetic to my cause."
"Do you not remember the conversation when I called you stupid?"
"Let's continue this conversation when I'm not angry at old women, or I may start insulting you."
"Is that a sign of pre—"
"JJ, I'm not pregnant," I snap. He raises his hands.
We walk inside the stuffy store, and JJ walks right next to me. Pope and Kie stand next to Organic Honey, she smiles and me and wraps me in a hug, when she pulls away she studies my face. "You look annoyed," she observes.
"Never, I'm an easy breezy gal," I grin.
"Says no one ever," Kie grins back, squeezing my shoulder.
My eyes move to Pope who looks extremely I comfortable— constipated, even. "Is no one else fucking stressed?" He asks, looking at the three of us. I, for one, am.
JJ shrugs, "Don't let it get in your head. There are three of them and two of us," he sounds so casual. "That's some typical Kook shit right there," he adds.
"Hell yeah," Kie nods.
We watch Pope unload some produce onto some shelves, still looking constipated. I want to offer to help, just because of how uncomfortable he looks.
"What was your thought process when using your head?" JJ asks, sounding very amused.
"I don't know man, I just kinda acted off instinct," He answers, shrugging like it was no big deal. "I was a corned animal."
I hear footsteps walk into the small store, glancing over my shoulder I see Heyward, dressed in a bright red shirt that looks like it's been worn quite a few times. "Hey, Pope." He calls his son, and gestures behind him, out of the shop. "Someone's here to see you." I peer around the corner and my stomach drops right out my butt and onto the floor.
It's Shoupe. What the fuck. Am I getting arrested?
"I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property," he utters. Pope immediately spins around to look at JJ, like he would know what to do.
Topper's family could pay for a dozen replacements of the stupid boat and it wouldn't make a dent in their pockets, this is just revenge. They're trying to make a point, screwing up someone's life over petty grievances. Topper and Rafe—who no doubt has a hand in this—know full well Pope doesn't have access to a world-class lawyer.
Shoupe approaches us, pulling a set of metal handcuffs from his back pocket. "Hands where I can see 'em," he instructs. Pope somehow looks a step beyond constipated. He's about to go into heart failure. Kie makes a move to try and do something, stepping between Shoupe and Pope, "Young lady, out of my way." He glares at her, not wanting any part of this.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Heyward says, looking so confused at what's happened. "Shoupe, what'd he do?" The man asks, wondering what his straight-laced, smart son did to get arrested.
Shoupe doesn't seem even a little interested, "Look at the warrant," he says plainly. Shoupe pulls both of Pope's hands behind his back.
This is actually happening.
Pope looks scared, I can only imagine what's going on in his head. His entire life is crashing down, even getting arrested will kill any chance at grants and scholarships, no school will want to touch him with a ten-foot pole. He'll go from the intelligent straight-A kid to just another little shit from The Cut. Not to mention the connections the Thornton family has with the judicial system. Pope will get chewed up and spat out into a juivie.
"You're just arresting my boy?" Heyward sounds like he can't believe what his eyes are seeing. People begin talking over one another, whatever teenage Plan B gossip I started is old news, now someone's getting arrested. Heyward's borderline shouting, Kie is repeating again and again Pope's innocence and Pope himself just stands with a thousand-mile stare.
I just want to give him a hug, he looks like he needs one right about now.
JJ stands beside me, I glance at him, and he watches the scene unfold in silence. I can see cogs turning behind his eyes.
"JJ, you have a record," I remind him, because I may have only known him a few months, but it's obvious what he's about to do. He's about to throw himself in front of a bus, he'd about to be stupid.
He looks at me and digs out the box from his pocket, "Take that," he mumbles. "I also stole you this after she shouted at you," he takes out a Toblerone and puts it in my hands.
I can hear Shoupe reciting Pope's Miranda rights.
"JJ, don't. They'll throw the book at you," I whisper.
"Better me than him," he gives me a smile and walks out of the store, leaving me standing like an idiot. With a stolen Toberlone and a Plan B. How the fuck did this happen?
"It wasn't him!" I can hear JJ shout as he storms outside, throwing himself under the metaphorical bus.
"Fucking hell," I mumble, looking around at the people who mostly look at the unfolding scene outside, but I catch a few people's eyes. Taking a shaky breath I walk outside the store, scared to know what's happening outside.
After JJ's declaration of Pope's innocence, everyone goes quiet. "It was me," he admits. He's silent for a few seconds, spinning some bullshit story in his head. "He tried to talk me out of it," he begins digging himself a nice hole. "But I was mad because he'd just been beaten up. And I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit." He begins walking to Shoupe who was about to put Pope in the ban. Everyone seems shocked, but, in reality, it's not that shocking. JJ looks across at Pope, with his black up and busted lip from where he was beaten up by Topper, Rafe and Kelce only last night. "I can't let you take the blame for somethin' I did. You've got too much to lose." He speaks to Pope, who has a torn expression. His words are a stark reminder of where he sees himself in relation to Pope, they show how he sees himself and his self-worth.
Pope finally speaks up, "JJ, what are you doing?"
My phone weighs heavy in my pocket, I need to call Robbie, and I don't want to watch JJ continue throwing himself on the sword. I walk a few paces away and dump the stuff in my hands on a small wall holding a garden in place, then make the call to my brother.
It doesn't take long for my brother to pick up, "What's up?" He asks.
"JJ got arrested." I don't bother beating around the bush. I opt for the ol' forthright approach, something Robbie generally appreciates.
"Fucking hell. What for?" He curses. I run a hand through the hair that fell out of my ponytail, trying to get it off my face. This is a time in life when all you want to do is scream and call a time-out.
"Felony property destruction, or something like that. I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure it had 'felony' in it," I tell him, looking up to see the truck carrying JJ screech out the parking lot, heading to the Sheriff's Department.
"Did he do it?" Robbie asks, I think mostly out of curiosity.
"Yeah, the fucking idiot sunk a boat," I answer.
"I need to go, I won't be long," I hear him talk to Hayley as he walks out the door. "His Dad's not going to take that well, and the bail will probably be decent. Did they take him yet?"
"Yeah, it was meant to be Pope, but he pulled a Katniss," I watch Pope throw his orange cap on the ground before storming off.
"I'll go now. Don't get yourself arrested because I'll get the worst lawyer I know to represent you," He threatens and hangs up.
I turn to see Kie walking over to me, "Was that your brother?" She asks.
I nod, "He's heading over to meet JJ at the Sheriff's Department, hopefully he can sort some shit out."
She looks down at the things I dumped, then she looks back up at me with a surprised look. "Was that what JJ handed you? A Plan B?" She seems shocked.
"And a Toblerone he stole." I give up denying it.
"You're slept with JJ," she shakes her head, amused.
"Yep. Not my wisest decision," I pick up my things.
"Just the once?"
"For like seven months, I need to go take this so I don't grow a mini JJ," I lift the packet.
"Seven months! I knew it," she looks proud of herself. "That boy is totally in love with you."
•
I think Liar Liar can be 'haha so funny, JJ is obsessed with Mabel how cute' one second and then, without warning, be cripplingly depressing existentialism. It's "haha JJ dumb, Mabel hot *hard cut* am I enough, who decides who is and isn't enough, and why are women never enough"
I'd also like to say that anyone bashing women for expressing their human right to choose what happens to their bodies, will get blocked, I have absolutely no tolerance for that. This is NOT a place for hate, this is strictly good vibes.
Women have rights to their own bodies. No ifs ans or buts.
Anyway, moving on from that.
This is probably just me, and I don't know if this is appropriate to say, but Kook sounds like a slur. I have no clue why, it just sounds like something old men say that you tell them to stop saying, but they say the 'youth are two sensitive' and then make the excuse that they're 'stuck in their ways' when really they should just say you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
I also am pretty sure I'm dying again (inconvenient) because my nails have started PEELING OFF, and I had a blood test and my doctor told me to make an appointment as soon as I can :) so if I stop updating, it is because I died and you will just have to imagine the rest in your heads.
Part one of this chapter's Hot Man of The Chapter was Mr Murphy (Cillian, not from The 100, but honestly I might put him on) and I think he may have been the most popular!!!
I hope people enjoy the segment because I think it's so fun.
Introducing... Danny Trejo!
Now, I do understand he turns 80 next year, but I think he is still worthy of Hot Man of The Chapter. I have not DARED to ask for opinions in real life, so this could swing either way. But I think he's husband material.
So, the all-important evidence:
Opinions time!! I'm nervous about opinions, mainly because he was born in the forties. But why should that stop us? (By us I mean people of age.)
Also, I made a banner. Don't be jealous guys, my Photoshop skills took years to develop. I am willing to give tips. I do hope my handwriting is legible, it's hard to write on a screen, so cut me some slack.
Stay safe my dudes, and don't eat wild mushrooms.