SINCE ENTERING THE music industry a decade ago, I've always kept my cards close to my chest. I have to for the sake of my career, my reputation, and most importantly, my well-being. Admittedly, it hadn't always been easy. Throwing a sixteen-year-old kid into a world where nothing was off-limits while telling him to be careful was like throwing a hungry lion a gazelle and telling him not to eat it. Had I not been raised properly, I undoubtedly would have been both the victim and perpetrator of manipulation on many occasions. 'Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile' Mum told me, tears brimming in her eyes as she waved me off to start my new journey in London. And to this day, I've lived by it. I've kept strangers at arm's length and kept my personal life just that. I'd never found it difficult to keep myself to myself. If anything, sometimes I was a little too closed off and it had cost me potential relationships and friendships in the past. I was cautious about who I let in and it often took me a while before I felt comfortable enough to trust someone.
But right now, sitting across from a girl I'd only just met tonight, I was acting as though I was the most open book in the library.
Her small hands cradle the ceramic mug, holding it close to her face and concealing her features behind a mist of steam. I can tell she finds beauty in the small things from the way she admires the view over the waist-high wall edging the rooftop with an adoring smile gracing her heart-shaped lips, "It's so beautiful up here,"
I hum in agreement. The view still mesmerises me, just as it did the first time I saw it. The deep indigo sky provides a perfect backdrop for the bright stars and crescent moon. Tall, lit-up buildings line up along the horizon, overshadowing the smaller ones. Although the restaurant was located just outside the city centre, you could still see it from a distance if you were high enough.
"It might sound cliché, but this is the only place I can truly clear my head," I admit.
She exhales gently, nuzzling her cheek into the fuzziness of the blanket that was swallowing her small frame, "They seem so close. I could just pluck one out of the sky and eat it,"
She giggles as she catches sight of my bewildered expression from the corner of her eye. As her head turns to face me completely, a strand of hair strays from the claw clip she had taken out of her bag earlier to secure her curls. My fingers twitch to brush it out of her eyes like I'm starring in some corny rom-com. She beats me to it, gently tucking it behind her left ear, "I like to think they would burst in your mouth like popping candy as you bite into them,"
My tongue tingles as my brain plucks blissful childhood recollections of eating popping candy bars from the deepest parts of my memory. I could almost hear the crackling as it popped and fizzed like fireworks in my mouth. I smile fondly, remembering how my mother had held a bulky camcorder up to my face, capturing the moment my face contorted when experiencing the strange sensation for the first time, "I used to love those as a kid,"
"They remind me of my Nana. Every time we went to visit, which wasn't very often, she would sneak my brother and me a bar when our parents weren't looking," Her fingers absentmindedly fiddle with the necklace that rests between her collarbones as she speaks. The chain is dainty with a small silver flower charm hanging from it.
"Are you and your brother close?"
Her loving smile speaks volumes, answering my question without a single word needed, "He's three years older than me but we've always been close. Once my friends started hanging around with boys, my Dad stopped me from seeing them. He said little girls shouldn't hang around with boys as it would give them the wrong impression and that I would just be asking for trouble. Eventually, everyone just stopped asking me to do things and I became a bit of an outcast so Nathan was all I had," My brows furrowed the more she spoke and I found myself struggling to find the appropriate words to say. With her gaze cast down, her finger slowly traced over the rim of her empty mug in a distant haze, "If it wasn't for him I don't know how I would have survived. He and Emily, his fiancée, have been my rock for as long as I can remember. I stayed with them for a while after I graduated from University. I didn't exactly know where I was going in life and if I'm being honest, I would probably still be there sulking if it wasn't for them falling pregnant and needing the spare room for a nursery,"
"They have a little one?" I ask. Her face lights up at the question as she nods enthusiastically. She takes out her phone from her bag, her thumb tapping the screen to reveal its background, and passes it over to me. On the screen was a photo of a little girl with who I'm guessing is Violetta by the colour of the hair. The girl was evidently not camera shy as she held a cheesy grin for the photo, showcasing a set of gappy teeth.
"She looks like you," I murmur, smiling at the resemblance. Both girls possess wavy mocha hair, wide eyes and scattered freckles over their noses. She nods knowingly like she's heard that before.
"That's Harley, she's almost four now," She tells me, "I call her my little miracle because she's the reason I was forced to find my way in the world and not continue vegetating in my brother's spare room,"
"And did you find your way?" I ask curiously. Although her confidence suggested she was satisfied with life, I'd learnt the hard way that sometimes the happiest of people are the most sorrowful underneath.
"I'm...content,"
She attempts to maintain eye contact to appear convincing, but her fluttering eyelids betray her efforts.
"That's not what I asked," I say softly, holding her gaze to look for any sign that I had overstepped. She exhales deeply.
"You don't hold back on the heavy stuff," She titters — an attempt to avoid answering. I don't push her. I wait quietly to see if she will elaborate, "I guess life isn't what I envisioned when I left home as an eighteen-year-old kid with a pocket full of dreams and a newfound freedom but whose life is?" She pauses, chuckling to herself, "Unless you're Harry Styles of course,"
I smile to hide my grimace. I know that her words aren't meant to hurt. And she has a point. I am fortunate enough to have the life I had always dreamt of as a child. However, I take pride in my empathetic nature and hoped it would come across.
"And what did eighteen-year-old Violetta envision for herself?" I question.
"If eighteen-year-old me had her way, I'd be unveiling my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and admiring all my Oscars that are neatly lined up in my Californian beach house that I share with Chris Hemsworth," She grins, "But instead I'm drinking lukewarm coffee and admiring the night sky on the rooftop of a downtown London sushi restaurant with Harry Styles,"
"Well if you ask me, things turned out better than you planned," I smirk. She lets out an airy laugh, looking down at where her fingers were twisting around the blanket's fringe, "But seriously," I clear my throat, "You mentioned the Oscars, are you in the performing industry?"
She scoffs lightly, "Hardly. I studied Performing Arts at Uni and I audition for as many roles as I can but I never make the final cut," she smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes, "I don't audition as much as I used to...after I graduated, the reality of life kicked in and my dreams took a backseat to make room for a job,"
"What do you do for work?"
"I'm a Personal Assistant for the CEO of a law firm," she shakes her head when she notices my eyebrows raise, "It sounds way fancier than it is. I'm a glorified receptionist,"
"It sounds like a lot of pressure,"
"Says the man who performs in front of thousands of people," She teases with a playful look. Her attempt to shift the conversation onto me is obvious but, despite the unanswered questions spinning around in my head, I don't bring attention to it. Considering I'm a stranger, she has probably already shared far more than she was comfortable with for one night.
"It's a different kind of pressure...an addictive kind that you want to feel over and over again," I tell her. Being a performer came with a variety of emotions but there was no better feeling than the rush of adrenaline that surges through you as you step on stage. It wasn't a feeling you could describe, it could only be felt.
"You do look like you're having the time of your life up there,"
"You've seen me on stage?" I ask. I couldn't resist feeling a little boost to my ego knowing she had chosen to spend her time watching me. I began to wonder what performance she had watched and what her thoughts were at the time.
"I've watched a couple of videos," She shrugs nonchalantly.
"You'll have to come to a show in person sometime," I suggest. After tonight, I didn't plan on letting this girl slip out of my life. I had to see her again and if inviting her to shows was the way to make that happen, she could have all the free tickets she wanted.
"I'll see if I can squeeze you into my busy schedule,"
Her playfulness provokes an excited colony of butterflies to swarm my insides. Confident women have always been my downfall.
"I'll even throw in a couple of backstage passes,"
"You drive a hard bargain,"
"I've been known to be fairly persuasive,"
She catches my harmless flirt and I can tell by the way her ivy-coloured eyes flutter and her heart-shaped lips purse that she's amused. "I doubt many people say no to that smirk," she says, fighting off one of her own.
"Are you flirting with me, Miss Holmes?"
Her eyes flick up to mine and she narrows them in suspicion, "How do you know my last name?"
"I saw it on your bank card earlier when you tried to pay," I tell her calmly. She seems to believe me as she slowly nods, her defensive temperament beginning to fade.
"You're very observant,"
"When something interests me,"
"And do I interest you, Harry?" She asks innocently, absentmindedly chewing at the corner of her bottom lip. Although her flirtatious tone was evident, there was a hint of curiosity and possible insecurity. Like she was uncertain of how I would answer.
"Very much so," I admit. The whiskey I drank earlier must still be running through my veins. Although I no longer feel intoxicated, my willingness to reveal my thoughts suggested otherwise, "I won't lie, you caught my attention from the moment you sat down,"
The squeal of excitement from a blonde girl upon Violetta's arrival at the restaurant was what drove me to initially look in her direction. The contrast of her coffee-coloured hair against the lightness of her friend's as they embraced was the first attribute I noticed. But the moment they pulled apart and I caught a glimpse of her angelic features, I knew I was done for.
"I noticed,"
"I couldn't keep my eyes off you and I made a fool of myself because you caught me red-handed every time," I cringe as I think back to the embarrassment I felt every time she looked over.
"You couldn't have seemed that foolish or I wouldn't be sitting across from you now," She assures me, "Believe it or not, the promise of good food wasn't the only reason I agreed to come,"
As we playfully bantered, our bodies had gradually moved closer until our elbows found a comfortable spot on the table. Our faces are mere inches away, causing our breath to intertwine and create a fleeting cloud of mist that swiftly disappears into the chilly air. The thick atmosphere is broken by the sound of loud footsteps echoing on the metallic stairs. We swiftly lean back in our seats as Aki appears at the top of the staircase. I discreetly clear my throat and nervously scratch my jawline with my right hand.
"Just letting you kids know we are locking up," He tells us, throwing me a knowing look, "You are welcome to stay for as long as you like,"
"Oh, I don't want to be a nuisance," Violetta says politely. The sweetness in her voice is enough to bring any man to his knees. I am just thankful I was sitting down as I knew my legs were like jelly.
"Not at all, my dear, you are welcome any time," Aki assures her, "Any friend of Harry's is a friend of ours,"
She shoots me a bashful smile with warming cheeks. Gone was the flirtatious look in her eye, replaced with one of timidity. She stands from her seat, reluctantly peeling the warm blanket off her shoulders and letting it drop to the chair behind her.
"Thank you, Aki, you and Mai have both been so welcoming," She gushes with appreciation thick in her voice. He smiles appreciatively.
"I hope to see you again soon," His words are directed at Violetta but his focus is clearly on me, ensuring I get the message that he is trying to discreetly convey and I do.
Loud and clear.