“I can't believe this is happening,” I said, running my fingers through my long hair. My breathing was irregular and I swore my heart was having palpitations.
“I know this is a lot for you to take in, Mel, but you have to try and understand,” my mother said comfortingly, placing her delicate fingers on my shoulders. I turned to face her, and, unable to hold it in anymore, I let out a soft cry. The tears streamed down my face, cutting my cheeks with my mother's harsh past.
“What is he?” I asked. My mother only let out a not-so-comforting sigh.
“Mel, listen, I know there must be a million questions running through your head, but I can't tell you anything. You'll be safer if you don't know and just forget about him.”
“So, what? You're not even going to talk to me about this?” I asked. I could feel the anger seething through my thin milky skin.
“Please try and under-”
“No, mom! Don't you see? Not communicating about this is what got us into this mess in the first place.”
“No,” my mother adamantly disagreed. “Elijah is what got us into this mess. If you refuse to talk to him, it will all be fixed.”
I sat there for a very long time. I tried to think, but my mind was filled with white noise. The tears dried and the white noise soon turned to worry upon realization.
“You promised me to Elijah?” I asked, my eyebrows scrunching together.
“No, I promised him something an-”
“No, you promised him me. He said 'our girl,' he's come to collect. What does he want with me?” I asked.
“Mel, just don't talk to him anymore! Do you understand me?” my mother screamed. I nodded, tears filling my eyes again.
“Good, now you need sleep. I'm off to work. Stay home from school again, and give me your phone. You need a day by yourself,” my mother said, holding out her hand. I placed my phone in it, thinking I didn't know my mother at all... never in a million years would I have dreamt she would act this way.
“Have a good day,” I absentmindedly said as she walked out of my room. I muttered an “I love you” but I'm not even sure if either of us registered that it came out of my mouth.
The minutes ticked by, slowly and steadily turning into a couple hours. I wondered what would become of me? If I was promised to Elijah – this obviously higher being – then surely he wouldn't give up just because I refused to talk to him. Besides, how could I possibly do that? Elijah was part of me, he had been there my entire life. He didn't seem bad. Mysterious? Yes. Bad? No.
Even after reading my mother's journal a second time, I still had so many questions. Questions I once thought she would answer, but now, apparently, she wouldn't. Was there any way to find the answers?
I know the answers. Elijah's voice chimed in my ears. I jumped, then took a deep breath. I found his words soothing in a weird way. I have a whole side of the story you don't know of... your mother has many secrets that even her journal won't divulge. You must know her soul to know her secrets – lucky for you, I know her soul inside and out.
I wished I knew exactly what he was talking about... I wished I knew exactly what he was.
Come to me, Melissa, he called. Come to me in my woods... I will tell all and your mother never has to know. He promised me. I could almost feel his strong hand delicately placed on my shoulder to sooth me. As I opened my eyes to jump off the bed and grab my coat, I saw him standing in front of me.
“I was goin-”
“I know,” he said with a smile, taking a seat on my bed. He patted next to him, and I obeyed, sitting next to him.
“What do you...” I paused for a very long time. Elijah patiently waited, acting as though time was standing still. “Want with me?” I finally finished.
“Oh, Melissa, you must be absolutely terrified,” he stated smoothly, placing a hand on my thigh, as if that was supposed to make everything all better.
He continued, “Want with you? Melissa, I don't want anything with you. Search your heart, you know I'm not a creep.”
“Do I?” I asked, beginning to doubt my innermost feelings. What did I know about Elijah? He was an enigma.
“You do. You just need a little reassuring. Perhaps my side of the story will help.”
“Yes, please tell me your side,” I breathed out. Relief washed over me as I realized someone was willing to talk to me about what clearly revolved around me.
“Well,” Elijah hesitated. The gut ball returned to my stomach... was I ever going to find out about my own life? I had a right to know! I deserved to know. I wasn't an innocent little kid anymore; I was fully capable of understanding.
“I can't tell you,” he breathed out in a huff. I bit the inside of my cheek and wondered if yelling would do any good.
He said, “but, I can show you.”
“Show me?”
“If you'll let me, that is,” he looked deep into my eyes – as if searching my inner-self for an answer. I nodded subconsciously. He placed his hand against my cheek, moving his thumb slightly. He whispered, “close your eyes and trust me.” I obeyed.
Instantly, I was transformed – I could see a different world... an older world tinged with sepia as the colors adjusted to normal around me. I felt my heartbeat regulate and my breathing slowly begin. I watched as a very young image of my mother walked up to a house with a boy... my father?... open the screen door to the porch, and sit down on the swinging bench.
“Are you sure you're ready for this?” He asked. My mother nodded and they began kissing. It went on for a while until they retired inside the house, not taking a genius to figure out where it all led.
Images of myself flashed in my mind – images of being created, being inside my mother's belly, growing up, I even caught tiny glimpses of the future. When the sideshow stopped, I was sitting by a lake... though the reflection wasn't me – it was Elijah.
There was a sudden jerk, and then I was on my own... watching from a 3rd eye that didn't even really exist. Another jerk and I was back in my bedroom, Elijah sitting next to me.
“Please, you must trust me,” he said, looking back into my eyes. I looked away.
“Was I just you?”
“Yes, you were... you saw what I saw the night you were conceived. As you know, I felt you come into existence. I felt you reach out – I knew you were there before anyone else ever did. Melissa, I can feel people's emotions... I can read minds... I know. But you, I can't get a beat on you. Your thoughts are you own, I can only pick up on a few here and there... piecing them together is impossible. I don't know why, but you're special, Melissa. I knew I had to get to know you, that's why I saved you when your mother tried to kill you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Melissa, your mother was scared... she didn't want you. It doesn't take a genius to know you shouldn't dive off a high cliff when you're pregnant... do you know how easy it would have been for her to have a miscarriage? If it hadn't been for me, she would have. She made that deal because she got scared for her own life.”
“That's not what her journal said,” I claimed, my heartbeat daring to pound out of my chest.
“You really think she would write something like that in her journal?” Elijah asked, throwing his arms out to his sides. “A journal that you could – and did – find?”
I shook my head slowly, reality hitting me hard.
“How can you do that?” I asked. “I mean, what are you?” I was scared to find out the answer... part of me didn't even want to ask, but I knew it was something that I had to find out.
Elijah sighed and then said, “Melissa, I need to know if you're really ready to find out... are you sure you want to know the answer?”
I bit my lip, my mind delving deep into my thoughts... my mind swirling with “yes” then “no” and then uncertainty...
“Yes,” I finally breathed out. “I'm ready.”
“I am Death... like the Grim Reaper only not so cliché and I have more powers. There is a clock on everything with an expiration date – but I have the power to bring things back, like your dog. Death isn't the end, Melissa, it's merely the beginning.”
“Death?” I asked. My lungs felt compressed and I didn't know what to say. No matter what he said – I knew he wanted something from me... what did Death want from me?
“Why me?” I asked.
“Because you're special. I couldn't let you go... even if it's a new beginning, you deserved a good life. I wanted to watch you grow up, become the very important person you were born to be. You have a place here, Mel, and I intend to see you get there. You are very dear to me.”
“Dear to you? Like a daughter? Or something else?” I asked, not sure which answer I truly wanted to hear.
“Melissa, I didn't know how I would grow to love you that First Night. It's changed so many times as I don't wish to complicate your life... but, I just can't help it, Melissa, I love you lik-”
“I love you too!” I breathed out, meeting him in a warm embrace. I didn't know why or how I trusted him so much – why I felt the way I did... all I knew was that it felt right. Do only that which is right. The words echoed in my head as my hands slid up and down Elijah's back and his mimicked mine.
“There is a balance,” he said suddenly, jerking me away from the blissful world I'd been sucked into.
“A balance?” I asked. Elijah nodded.
He said, “I saved your dog's life. I don't want you to think that you owe me because saving your life was the best thing I ever did... but there's a balance that must come from it....”
“What are you saying?”
“Melissa, I know this is hard for you. But, especially if we are going to be romantically involved, I'm going to need there to be a balance.”
“What balance? And what does Star have to do with this?”
“Star is different... and soon it will start to show. Both of you were supposed to die, and I got in the way of that. Like I said, I don't regret it, but I also don't have to deal with the repercussions.”
Repercussions? I thought to myself. How bad are these repercussions?
“What are you saying?” I asked, wondering what I had to do to bring balance about – but not entirely wanting to know the answer.
“You have to sacrifice a life – someone who's connected to Star.”
“Bentley,” I sucked air in, coughing on it. “No,” I said definitively. “Get out!” I demanded. This was all way too much for me. I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up so my back was to Elijah. What was happening with my life? Why was all this going on? I missed my old life... my normal life... but, then again, had my life ever been normal? I'd always been haunted by Elijah. I didn't know a life without him... maybe it was time to start that life.
I turned back around to face Elijah, but he had already vanished. I rushed over to the landline phone in my bedroom and I dialed Bentley's number.
“Bentley!” I said, sounding way too desperate, upon his answer.
“Mel?”
“Yes, it's me. I'm so sorry for everything that happened. Can we just start over? Please? Will you meet me at the graveyard soon? I'm ready to finally... you know, make love.” I said, bees buzzing in my tummy. I needed to do this – this teenagery yet grown up thing. Something normal... something that would take my mind off of Elijah for a long time. Something to get my life back on track. Being with Bentley was the only way I knew how to do that.