When I get up in the morning the first thing I do is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue !
- D.P
“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.”
- Kurt Vonnegut
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
D.P
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
D.P
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
D.P
If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
D.P
Ducking for apples — change one letter and it's the story of my life.
D.P
I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.
D.P
I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.
D.P
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
A: You can't hear an enzyme.
D.P
The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.
D.P
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.
D.P
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
D.P
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
D.P
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
D.P
Hold your pen and spare your voice.
D.P
Gertrude Stein did us the most harm when she said, 'You're all a lost generation.' That got around to certain people and we all said, 'Whee! We're lost.
D.P
I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
D.P
....