Cal was close to his crystal. He could feel it deep in his bones. Or maybe that was the chilling cold that seeped deeper and deeper into his body with every step he took closer into the planet's center. The caves were freezing him inside and out, but he knew he was honing in on his connection. The song that flowed through his ears became louder and louder with each breath he took and each step he walked. He had been wandering for far too long. It was about time he found his way forward.
He found a small crevice in the ice caves, just big enough for him to fit through. Cal let a smile fall onto his face. "It's through there. I can feel it," he spoke to BD. "We're almost outta here. I promise."
Wooo... Be-beep BD responded, holding on tight to Cal's poncho as he jumped up and over rocks and slid beneath the ice.
Cal neglected to pay attention to his footing, for as he stepped on a fragile path of ice, he felt his body fall. He had just enough time to catch himself on the ledge as BD jumped to the edge. The little droid ran to aid him, but he held out his hand and shouted, "BD! Don't come any closer!"
Beep beep!
"BD!!"
Cal felt his hands slip, and he was suddenly submerged in the coldest water he had felt in his entire life. It felt as thought ice picks were pricking at the skin of his cheeks, and he had no breather to allow him oxygen. He began swimming as fast as he could, seeing a spot of light from an opening not far away, but his muscles were contracting against his body, trying desperately to keep him warm. It felt as though his eyes were freezing over, and his vision was suddenly encased in white.
But then he felt it.
A tug through the Force, demanding him to open his eyes and see what was in front of him. When he did, he saw... himself. Only, he was young. His red hair was cropped short, and the Padawan braid he had removed himself, an act that ought to have been done by the Council, was hanging gently behind his ear. Trust me the young vision of Cal whispered, reaching his hand into the frigid waters.
What other choice did he have?
He reached his hand up as high as he could get it, and grasped onto the vision. He felt it wrap its hands around his, and gave him a comforting smile before pulling him up and out of the waters before disappearing.
He grasped at the snow on the solid ground, gritting his teeth together at the sudden bite all over his body. He almost wanted to go back into the water, for the breeze in the air made the chill almost ten times worse. He shivered, feeling his teeth chattering together as he dragged himself up and out of the water, huddling into himself on the ground to try and retain some sense of warmth. But he heard something. A song.
Looking up, he finally caught sight of a crystal, his crystal, sitting upon a large icy pedestal. The boy he saw was walking towards it, before disappearing and revealing his treasure to him. Cal managed to stand, holding his arms close by his chest as he gathered to strength to move his legs. He could feel his eyes drooping, and shook his head vigorously to keep himself awake. But the cold was becoming too deep in his body, and he fell to the ground. Screaming to himself in his mind that he needed to get up, he dragged his body back to his feet, weakly reaching his hand up to take his crystal off its pedestal.
Finally, he felt a sense of rejoice as his fingers touched the cool stone, taking it from its place with a light snap. He held it gently in his hands, looking down as it glowed blue in his eyes, and finally let a smile grace his lips.
Until he watched it crack in half.
An unwavering sense of hopelessness crawled over his entire body in that single moment, and he dropped to the ground as he cradled the crystal in his hands. "No... No, no, no, no. No!" He let out as large a growl of frustration and sorrow as he could, but it felt pathetically weak on his lips. Leaning against the stone cold ice, he curled into his body. "It's over," he uttered through the shaking of his lips. "I failed."
His felt his eyes grow weary once more, but a voice echoed in his ears. "Failure is not the end, my friend," it said, and he opened his eyes to see his beloved BD-1 approaching him. The droid ran up to his side, and Cal placed a thankful hand on BD's head.
Beooop! BD chittered, and Cal leaned heavily on him.
"That's good," he breathed, just glad to see the droid here with him. "That's good, buddy."
BD-1 looked down in Cal's hands, seeing the broken crystal he had still not let go. He could see that Cal was losing his hope with every second that passed. He knew he had to do something. So, shuffling away, he searched through his memory database, and began playing the last moment he had seen his former master.
"The time has come," Cal heard, and looked up to see BD playing a recording. He saw BD looking up at Cordova as the Jedi Master approached him. "This may be the last you see of me. I can sense the doom of the Jedi Order is upon us."
"Be-bo-beep?" the recorded BD-1 pondered, looking down in sadness, only to hear Cordova's chuckle break through his despair.
"No! Failure is not the end. It is a necessary part of the path," Cordova spoke, and the past BD looked up in wonderment. "Hope will always survive in those who continue to fight. Like you, BD-1." Cal couldn't help but look down at his little companion. "I believe you will find someone just as brave and persistent as you have been. And you will help them, as you have helped me. But your memory will be completely lost. Are you sure you want to do this?"
The past BD looked down a moment, but stepped forward on his two little feet and puffed up with a nod. "Beep," he spoke in affirmation.
Cordova sighed, his own sadness unable to be hidden as he took a chip from his pocket and knelt down to BD. He placed it in BD's chest, and said, "Beginning total memory encryption. Only with a trusted connection will your memories be restored." Cordova's voice began to shake as he looked down at the little droid. "I believe in you. As I always have. And I believe in whom you chose to replace me." He placed a hand on BD's head, who was now returning to his original mind stasis. "Goodbye. Old friend."
As BD-1 turned off the recording, it was as if he was chasing his own memory as he stepped forward when Cordova disappeared. His little audio receptors tilted down in sadness as he looked to the ground. Cal could only gaze at his friend with a newfound sense of belonging. "Your memories..." he began. "You risked them for me?"
BD turned back to him, running up to him and beeping, Be-beep boop.
Cal finally managed a true smile, a small laugh leaving his chest as he managed to say, "Yeah. I believe in you too, buddy." BD let out a small whir, and Cal opened his hand to look at the crystal. "Yeah, you're right. There's still a chance."
Be-boo bop! BD let out, gesturing with his head towards a nearby icy workbench.
"There's always a chance," Cal whispered, and stood up while clutching the crystal in his hand. He felt a new sense of strength, finally able to stand up straight. He ignored the ice crystals beginning to form on his clothes, and approached the workbench.
The blue glow of the crystal in his hand seemed to strengthen as he set the pieces down on the table, placing both the lightsaber parts he had down next to them. Rubbing his hands together, he blew into them to give his fingers some warmth to work. He took out his welding torch, and placed one half of the crystal into his master's hilt, and placed the other half of the crystal in Cere's hilt. He then worked the two halves together, laying it in front of him before closing his eyes and connecting with the blade. He let the Force flow through the lightsabers, and when he felt it click, he took it up in his hands. Cal turned from the bench, lighting up both ends, before twisting the two halves apart. He was now in possession of a dual saber.
BD whirred in success, and Cal's own smile widened. He had done it. He had fixed his lightsaber.
He headed towards an array of ice stalagmites that were blocking his way out. Before, he wasn't able to work through them without his lightsaber, but now he was easily able to beak through the barrier towards a path that would lead back to his original standing. Unfortunately, he had to get through a battalion of stormtroopers to get there. He didn't realize just how deeply the Empire had driven themselves into Ilum until he saw their metal work and classic base layout while he fought through their troops.
He found a large storage container of kyber crystals that the Imps had mined from the planet, and shook his head while BD whirred. "Yeah... it's hard to look at these crystals after everything we went through." Taking his comm from his belt as BD opened another shortcut, he called, "Cere! We need to get out of here. They've taken over Ilum."
"Are you alright?" came her response.
"No, they spotted me. And that's not all..." Cal let out a sigh, anger boiling in his gut at the Empire for desecrating this planet. "They're mining kyber crystals."
"Captain! Prepare for takeoff!"
With that, the comms shut down as he went further and further towards the exit of the cave. He heard different troopers moaning and groaning about the cold, making Cal roll his eyes. Try diving into these waters he thought to himself, still feeling the tingle of the chill all over his body. He could just hear Y/n scolding him for neglecting to be careful in such a dangerous place. He couldn't wait to get back to her. To show her just how far he had come.
"You're lighting up Imperial channels," he heard Cere say to him through the comms. "They're sending everything they've got at you."
"Are you all safe?" Cal questioned. He couldn't think to fathom what would happen in the Empire discovered their position.
"We're laying low, but the storm's clearing. We won't have any cover soon," Cere relayed to him. Cal had never hoped so much for a storm to remain strong.
"What about disguising the Mantis' signal?" he asked her. He recalled that certain trick working on multiple occasions.
"That trick only works if they're not expecting it. I have another idea," Cere spoke, ad he could hear the smirk in her voice as he, regrettably, jumped into another pool of freezing water. When he came out on the other side, he was shivering and chattering his teeth when he heard Cere once more. "I've sliced through their encryption. I'm scrambling transmissions, but it won't be long before they're restored. Hopefully it buys us some time."
"Thank you. There's stormtroopers everywhere," he told her, seeing a light in the distance. He knew he was reaching the end.
"Ilum was our planet, Cal. Don't let them forget that."
When he reached the cave with the sun crystal, a sudden explosion rocked his feet. Multiple Imperial troops ran through the now open cave, and he grunted in exasperation as he engaged in battle. He managed to get BD to slice through the Probe droids and the KX enforcer droids to fight with him, allowing him to run out of the caves. Cere's voice echoed through his ears once more.
"They've broken through and called reinforcements! Every star destroyer in the sector is on their way here," Cere stressed, the worry and urgency evident in her tone. "If they get here before you do..."
"No," Cal shook his head as he ran. "We didn't come all this way to get captured. I'll be there."
"Hurry back, Cal."
It wasn't Cere's voice this time that he heard. It was Y/n's. And that alone gave him a new sense of strength as he ran out of the caves and back to the surface of the planet. Unfortunately, that sense was short lived when he saw the massive AT-ST's approaching the Mantis. "Cere! We've got company! Tell Greez to close the Mantis!"
"WHAT?!" Greez's voice shouted into Cal's brain. "With the Empire on your tail?! Are you crazy, kid?"
"Trust me!"
"Greez, listen to him and close the ship!" Y/n spoke. "Don't worry, Cal. We'll be safe. But don't forget to take care of yourself out there. One AT-ST is one thing, but two..."
"I've got this covered, Y/n. Just stay in the ship until I finish this," he called to her as he approached the two walkers. He let out a breath. "I've got this." He slowed the first using the Force, and attacked its legs with everything he had. With his new split sabers, he was able to hit both legs at once, but their reinforcement made it difficult to cut. It dropped bombs on him, which he managed to avoid, but he finally took down the first one before running at the second. Bringing it to the snow covered ground, he dodged the bullets of the pilots, who climbed out of their damaged walkers, before running them through and sprinting to the Mantis.
He ran in, the door sealing behind him as he leaned against the wall to catch his breath. He heard footsteps, and looked to see Cere, Y/n, and Greez gazing at him with proud expressions. "You did it," Cere claimed, looking down at his new lightsaber.
"We did. I wouldn't be here without all of you," Cal claimed, feeling like he was home for the first time in years. "I used to sit on Bracca dreaming about storming Coruscant with survivors from the Jedi Council. Instead, the Order's hopes rest on a gambler, a fugitive doctor, a fallen Jedi, and a failed Padawan. A bunch of screw ups."
"You can say that again!" Greez chortled while Y/n let a small laugh leave her chest.
"BD's the only reliable one," Cal stated, looking back at the droid who chirped in pride. "He let Cordova wipe his memories so he could stay behind an guide us. But you're all willing to sacrifice everything. To keep going even when it seems impossible."
"Failure's a part of the journey," Cere told him, and Cal could only assume she heard that phrase from Cordova himself.
"I get that now," Cal said gratefully. "Thank you. All of you." A sudden chill ran down his spine, and his teeth began to chatter once more as a breeze from the cold conditioning unit on the ship rushed against his still wet poncho.
Y/n's brow furrowed, and she stepped forward to get a closer look at him. Now, she could finally see that his clothes were damp, and even from fighting the AT-ST, he was still covered head to toe in small ice crystals. "Cal, did you go swimming?? You're soaked," she questioned him in disbelief. Before he could answer, she shook her head and said, "Never mind. Greez, get us on a course back to Dathomir."
Cal could hear Greez's sigh from across the ship, causing him to let out a small chuckle as Y/n ushered him back to the cot. She shut the door behind them, making him raise an eyebrow. "What are you-"
"Cal, get your clothes off," she demanded, taking him completely by surprise.
"W-What?" he stuttered. He wasn't sure if it was because his teeth were still chattering or because his heartbeat just jumped.
"You've been swimming in the, I can only imagine, freezing water on Ilum, laser-brain!" she exclaimed, already working on getting his poncho off. "If we don't get you out of these clothes and into some warm, dry ones, you will get hypothermia and die!" Once she got his poncho off, she headed towards a small compartment and took out a large fluffy blanket, tossing it onto the medical cot. "I'm gonna step outside and get you some new clothes. Once you're done, wrap yourself in that blanket, it's got a warming mechanism in it to help keep you heated. Call for me once you're all... covered up."
As bewildered as Cal was at her straightforwardness, he couldn't expect any less from her when she was in her doctor's mode. He nodded, and as soon as she left began relieving himself of his clothes. He could tell what she meant, for the fabric was already starting to freeze in place. It was difficult to get them off, but once he managed, he wrapped himself in the warm blanket, and a sigh immediately left his lips. Y/n was right. The heating technology in the blanket instantly made him feel warmer. Remembering her instructions, he called out her name, but was only met with an arm reaching through the open door to drop off some clothes before the door shut and she disappeared.
He redressed himself, although hesitant to leave the comfort of the blanket, but to be fair he already felt immensely warmer. Once he was decent, he opened the door to see Y/n standing there with a look of concern etched into her features. "I'm alright, Y/n," he soothed her as she stepped into the room. "I promise."
"Sit down and wrap yourself back up," she ordered him, to which he followed her instructions, but not without a quirk of his lip. He noticed she had a cup in her hand, and held it out to him. "Some hot caf to help keep you warm," she said. He took it with thanks, and felt her fingers against his wrist.
"What are you doing?" he questioned, but she shushed him.
After about a minute had passed, she nodded her head and removed her fingers from his wrist, saying, "You're heartbeat is normal, thank goodness. I think you're alright."
He took a sip of the caf and thanked her again while setting the cup to the side, but he didn't want her to go. After everything he had seen on Ilum, the remnants of an old Order, one that had long since been flawed, he had a revelation. "Y/n, wait," he softly spoke, catching her hand before she could leave. "Don't go."
"What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes scanning over his body to try and find some problem with him.
He laughed, looking down at the hand he still held. Cal couldn't help but just hold her hand in his, an act that drew her attention from her doctor's side. "Nothing's wrong, I just... there's something I need to tell you," he said, urging her confusion. "When I was in the caves, and I saw everything that the Jedi Order used to be, I had a thought. The Order... it was never perfect. There was a mantra we all used to follow, before it fell. 'There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force'." He paused, his eyes looking up to meet hers from his seated position. "I followed that Code, no questions asked, when I was a child. But..."
When he paused, Y/n's brows furrowed. "But?" she questioned.
"It's always been flawed," Cal finally managed to say. He wasn't sure how to word any of this, but he knew in his heart that something had to be said. "The Jedi Council is gone, and the old ways are dead. To a Jedi, attachment was always something to avoid. They always told us to leave our earthly possessions behind and follow only the Force. To not let something like... love lead us on a path to the dark side." He was finally gathering enough courage to say what he wanted to say. "But, Y/n, I can't ignore this anymore. What I feel for you... I would never want to turn to the dark side of the Force, especially if I hurt you in the process."
"Cal, what are you saying?" Y/n asked him, although her voice was thick. She knew exactly what he was saying, but she wasn't sure if she had the strength to hear it.
"I care about you," Cal spoke, and stood up from his seat. In his hand, he held the ring she had set on the caf table. He swiped it before entering the engine room, not wanting her to lose it. Still holding her hand, he slid it back on to her finger. "I want... I want to be with you. In vain, I have struggled far too long to try and keep this hidden from you, but I can't anymore."
Y/n was nearly speechless. She was so close to him, his hands still wrapped around her own as she finally managed to look up into his sea-green eyes. "Cal, I cannot deny that I've... well, I've gone and fallen for you. But..." her pause made him furrow his brows. "I don't want to be the reason you leave your entire life behind. Your Order. Your people."
"The Order is gone," Cal stated, causing her to quiet. "And even when it was strong, there was still fear there. We were all too blind to see that our own Code and stubbornness was what was killing us. Until it was too late." His voice turned thick, and he brought a hand up by her cheek. "I don't want to be afraid anymore. What we rebuild with the holocron won't be a repeat of the past. It will be a new future for Jedi."
"Cal, I need to tell you..." Y/n interrupted him, and his looked her over curiously. "When you were in the caves, I felt something, and it... wasn't the first time. I felt so... hopeless, but it wasn't my own feelings. I asked Cere about it and... she told me about what's called a dyad."
"A dyad?" Cal repeated the phrase, something familiar about the word.
Y/n nodded her head. "It connects two people through the Force. I think we..." she paused, letting out a breath to gather herself.
"We're connected," Cal finished for her, and he couldn't help the joy that welled up in his gut.
"Yes, I believe so," she spoke softly, taking his hand from her cheek and holding it. "Cal, if you're sure-"
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," Cal stated, and rested his forehead against hers. "I don't know what love feels like, but I think... this is it."
Y/n put her own hand on his cheek, a gentle grin lighting up her features. Cal thought she never looked more beautiful. "Maybe I can show you," she told him.
Cal had never kissed a girl before, but when he felt her lips touch his, it was like an instinct took over. She was hesitant at first, waiting for him to catch up, before he brought her closer to his touch. One hand went to her waist and drew her closer while his other laid across her back. He felt her arms wrap around his neck, deepening their embrace, while she went on her toes to reach up to him. Cal had never felt more like he was one with the Force than in this moment, especially when he felt her hand begin to card through his hair.
He had almost stumbled back onto the cot, using his hand to catch himself while keeping Y/n close to him and their lips still locked together, but a sudden banging on the door broke them apart. "Hey, you two crazy kids better get out here before your food gets cold!" they heard Greez shout through the door.
They stood up straight, trying to make themselves look more decent than they felt, and Cal felt the sudden rush of blood to his face. Y/n laughed slightly, seeing just how embarrassed he was, but took his hand and said, "We can talk more about this, about us and what it means, later. When this whole... holocron thing is figured out."
Cal nodded, wanting to spend every last moment he could with her, but said, "Yeah, okay."
She could tell he was disappointed. Smiling, she leaned up and kissed his cheek gently. "You're not the only one who's been kissed by fire now," she spoke in his ear, a smug look on her lips as she turned and left the room.
Cal blinked, star-struck by what had just happened. "What a woman," he spoke to himself, unable to keep the large grin off his face as he followed behind her. Finally, he felt at peace.