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"Your Grace!"
When Evangeline returns home after a month on travelling foot, her eyes are swollen and she does her best to hide it by looking too unapproachable to be gazed at. Her glare, the blood dripping of her clothes and the sneer over her face is enough to have all of her servants scurrying away faster than the wind could take them.
The hallways of her large estate are left empty and hollow, with nothing but her heavy footsteps following her.
Except Juno, of course, who rushes up to her with a look in her eye that she always has. Worried, a little scared, but mostly just willing to serve. And Evangeline doesn't want to see that expression anymore. The more she breathes in the air of the higher realm, the more it begins to tear at her chest. It feels like her lungs are compressed, unable to take in any breathable air. Her entire body feels stiff and unwilling to do anything. Her eyes sting, and it certainly has nothing to do with the fact that she was pretending that middle realm rainfall would hide her tears of anger and frustration.
Angels don't cry, but archangel's definitely do not cry. Evangeline couldn't even imagine any of the higher archangels, let alone herself, letting even a tear pass their waterline. And yet here she was, feeling frustrated and confused, knowing that she has to return and yet wondering why.
How did it come to this? How did she, at her age, from her status, become an archangel? An archangel getting mixed up in all of these terrible political affairs, that makes her feel like her heart could just be ripped out of her throat and it would be nothing compared to the thumping pain in it now? Pain makes her feel violent and angry. She wants to hit something, a statue, maybe. Throw it to the marble floor and watch it crumble.
Because that's what she is, originally. Nothing but a dumb soldier who happened to win some battles and become an archangel. It's so stupid and suddenly, Evangeline can't look at Juno anymore.
She feels incapable. Undeserving of being an archangel. Not good enough to even finish one measly little mission in the middle realm without almost letting it ruin her whole life. Not good enough to resist Anemone's stupid eyes and stupid words, and not good enough to continue searching for Chepi without getting all up in her feelings about it. Not good enough to bring the crystal back home to the angels. A disgrace to herself and to her kind.
"I need to be alone."
She feels stupid for even giving orders anymore. All she can think about are her regrets and how bad she feels about herself. What if Anemone was using her powers on her the entire time? What if she was slowly tricking Evangeline into falling for her so that she would not become a problem in the future? She can't rule out that possibility either, and that on top of a million other possibilities, probabilities, mistakes and losses just keep weighing down on her.
She feels like they were doing nothing but walking around the middle realm during the last few months and she won't be able to face the other archangels with only that result to speak for.
"The archangels are in the meeting room already, your Grace."
Evangeline snaps her head toward the shorter angel, eyes flashing with fear before dying into her usual strict and cold anger. "What? Who let them in without me here?" Or maybe, it's not her usual anger. Rather, it's a more impatient kind.
She's stressed. Panicking, even. Feeling like a part of her is still back there, in the middle realm, and feeling like she should return to get it back. Her eyes probably reflect that panic, or disorientation, because Juno takes up a more calming tone.
"The archangels insisted when they heard you had passed through the loophole."
Evangeline has to take in a deep breath of air to calm herself down.
These past few hours have been insane. She travelled through the pouring rain all the way to the loophole, possibly crying along the way. The idea of returning home without any results, and the idea of leaving behind a part of herself was just too much to bear, even for an archangel.
Upon getting to the heavens she had to go through a thousand different security checks and cleaning processes to make sure nothing weird would get into this realm. And through the process Evangeline couldn't think. Her brain was empty, completely empty, dull and buzzing with distant thoughts that she just couldn't quite reach. But now she has reached them, and they suck.
It's too much. She's too angry and tired to face the other archangels, far too much in her head. The curse word comes through her clenched teeth before she has time to think it through.
"Fuck."
Juno looks startled immediately.
Angels, do not swear. Not in public, especially not in the heavens. Especially not around other angels. But Evangeline's eyes are dark and scary. She's got blood staining her armour and her clothes, she looks like a tall lump of danger about to collapse at any moment. Not ideal, to say the least. But that's what she is. And the curse word was just a cherry on top.
"Excuse- me..- your Grace?!"
Evangeline rolls her eyes at the splutter. She already misses Anemone, and can't help but think about what the demon told her. That she's the one who taught her to curse.
Her eyes are wide with unfair anger. "Shut up. I'm not in the mood for social acceptance, I haven't slept in days and now I have to face these fucking assholes." She presses her sword that was sticking out of its belt, as far in as it can go, mutters something about being at the edge and then looks back up at a shocked Juno. Sighing, she gestures at the empty, wide hallway of her own estate.
"Lead the way, then."
"...Yes, your Grace." The angel mumbles, scurrying to walk ahead. Evangeline follows her without a word.
Each step that she takes echoes in the hollow, empty hallways. There are nothing but huge windows and a few paintings of old archangels hanging on the walls. Nothing else. No decorations, no rugs, no curtains. Not even any lights, as any light is natural and shines through the glass. Nothing about this estate feels like home, Evangeline has made sure of that. She took away all the decorations that were in place during her childhood, when her predecessor was still alive and archangel. She made this whole estate a hostile, cold and empty place, without knowing why.
People say that she did it because she's that kind of person. Cold. Unapproachable. Right on hand with matters. But Evangeline doesn't think she's that cold. It's just... this place has never felt like home, even if she's lived here her whole life. First as a child, then as a servant, then as a soldier and finally, as an archangel, the grace of this place. It has never felt like home, and it just felt fake, desperate, pathetic to try and change that.
Juno stops by the meeting room doors, and steps to the side. Evangeline knows that she's probably angry with her, if not scared. But honestly? She doesn't care. She's never actually cared about this place. So, it's without a word that she pushes the doors to the meeting room open, and steps inside without giving herself time to think about it, or even catch her breath.
"Evangeline! We have been waiting for news for weeks!"
Imara's voice hits her like a whiplash. Evangeline immediately regrets not taking a moment to gather her breath.
Meeting the other archangels is always a little nerve wracking, even for someone like her. But meeting them under these unfamiliar circumstances of failure is almost a little terrifying. Tiring, too. Evangeline doesn't know if she's going to be able to handle this entire meeting without losing her nerves.
Her meeting room is filled with archangels from all around the higher realm. Their faces are familiar. Annoying, boring, and most definitely judging. Their eyes are as cold as ice, each face staring at her every movement, and at every molecule in her body. Even Xeraphina is here, back from the front lines, on time for once.
"It seems like you failed, doesn't it?"
She glances around the table, seeing Anselm staring back at her with this stoic, but clearly disappointed face.
Clenching her jaw, Evangeline does nothing but close the heavy meeting room door behind her, and walk up to the marble table in the middle of the darkened space. Her footsteps echo loudly on the floor as she gathers her thoughts.
She needs to go back to the middle realm with authority from the higher realm. They need to give her the green card. It's been over a month since she last got their ok, and that's not how things work. Archangels work together. They don't run off on the rogue. Evangeline needs to ask. This is something they made clear to her when she became archangel, and something her predecessor always followed perfectly. The law.
It's with a small sigh that she finally speaks up, trying not to let their disappointment and judging gazes stop her from saying what's important.
"It seems like I did. The fairy is on the loose again, I need orders to get down there and take her."
She hears a scoff, coming from Xeraphina, surprisingly.
"You've already failed, what makes you think we'll send you down again?"
She sounds all high and mighty when she says it, and Evangeline certainly wasn't expecting her to be the one to judge her at this moment. She and Xeraphina usually stick together like glue, a political team of sorts. They are always on the same side, because they work on the same things.
It seems like things have changed since a month ago.
Evangeline's hands clench into fists. She can't help that her emotions are starting to boil over when she spits out her words, eyes set heavily on the other young archangel. "Because you want the crystal? I'm the one who has spent four weeks down there. That's nearly thirty days of constant suffering. If you sent a new person, they would only waste time on things that I already have figured out."
"You make a solid point, Evangeline, but I'm afraid it's no longer relevant to us."
Anselm is looking at her from the other side of the table, eyes cold and serious. Evangeline immediately doesn't like how they are all in her home, acting like they are so much better than her, giving her orders as if she weren't their equal. She can't help but frown and snap. "What?"
"We're putting you on hold for a while," Imara says, sounding more sympathetic but doing a bad job at hiding the slight annoyance in her tone. She looks at Evangeline up and down, seeing the blood and bruises on her and following up with a condescending. "-it seems like you need the rest."
Evangeline looks at the other archangels in the room, finally settling on looking at Anselm.
"But Chepi-"
"Princess Cherelle, as we are told is the one who took the crystal, is currently back in fairy state custody." The leader of the archangels concludes, with a voice that makes the reason for this annoyance quite clear. The fairies have done their job, and Evangeline hasn't.
The reality of the situation hits the archangel right in her face. Cherelle has been taken by the fairies. Evangeline closes her eyes for a moment, her ears ringing and something white bursting behind her eyes. For a moment, she can hear nothing but the voices in her head.
"The king hates me more, actually. If you really want to know"
"He thinks that I'm not his. That the queen had been with another man"
"But why would the queen hate you for that?"
"She's good at it. Turning people's anger away from her, and onto someone else. The queen manipulated him into hating me, so that he'd forget about hating her. He's sick, I think. So it worked pretty easily"
"-It is our best interest to keep her there. The fairies are on our side, after all." Anselm continues, giving a quick nod to Pacome who nods back, being the archangel in charge of the angel sphere of influence.
Evangeline doesn't know whether to scoff, laugh or cry. The fairies are on their side? The fairies? Evangeline is nothing less than disgusted by the fairy kingdom. She went there once, just once to meet the queen, and heard the most gruesome family story one could ever hear. She heard about what a manipulator the queen is, how sick in the head the king is, and how messed up the entire situation is. The fairies are nobody's friend. Not when they have leaders like that. And now, Cherelle is back in their state custody?
"Chepi- I mean... Cherelle is back in the fairy kingdom?" Evangeline stutters out, somehow not being able to form a coherent thought in her mind.
No. This can't be happening. This is all her fault. She let them leave. She came back here, to these stupid fucking archangels, thinking that they would let her continue and she wouldn't have to feel so guilty about staying so long in the middle realm anymore. Instead, she was quickly faced with reality. They are all stupid, neutral, political idiots and she's the one who fell for it, allowing them to play Cherelle right back where she definitely shouldn't be. And especially, where the power of the crystal definitely shouldn't be!
"Yes. Is that a problem?" Pacome asks, relatively honest to the nature of his question and not as condescending as the others. But Evangeline doesn't care. His question in itself is condescending. He should know, as the one in charge of more specific and peaceful matters between fairies and angels, that the fairy king is completely crazy. Doesn't he know? Don't they all know?
Apparently not, it seems, as one of the angels in charge of food supplies and production speaks up, not even concerned with this matter. "You should be thankful. The fairies handled your mission for you."
"I want her back on the front lines. The demons are gaining territory with archangel Evangeline running around on fruitless missions." Xeraphina continues, still sounding upset, but with a clear voice, as if it was already decided. Evangeline shakes her head, almost laughing now.
No, this cannot be happening. The front lines? Are they crazy? The front lines are nothing but an endless war, never moving from the loopholes, never gaining anything, staying still for years and years and Evangeline can't take it anymore. She's been at the front lines all her teen years. She wasted years of her life there. She wasted her personality there, her hopes and thoughts and dreams and became this stupid, stoic monster. Is Xeraphina really this stupid? What good would come of her being back at the front lines? A few centimetres of territory in the loophole?
"Surely you can't think winning a few steps of air in the loopholes is worth more than getting the crystal? You are risking the demons receiving the crystal first at this rate!"
The archangels really seem to have lost their minds. Imara looks at her as if it were obvious.
"The crystal is already in fairy state custody. Their defences will hold with our help."
Or, perhaps they just don't understand the severity of the situation, thinking that the fairies are somehow capable of keeping the crystal within their borders. Capable of keeping Chepi safe. That's not true. Chepi will suffer, and the crystal will be in the hands of king Novus, and-
And Anemone will certainly venture east, over the border, and try to steal the crystal.
She will get caught. There is no way she could do it alone, with so much exhaustion behind her. No way. Anemone is going to get caught, maybe even killed. Fuck. How are they both there, suddenly, in the death trap that is the fairy kingdom? Evangeline starts to feel the panic building up in her throat. Her eyes move from one archangel to the next, seeing their condescending, larger than life- judging eyes staring right back at her. She slams her hand on the table.
"The fairies will not treat her deservingly! King Novus will probably lay claim to the crystal himself, that madman can't lay a finger on-"
"You should learn to speak better about those more accomplished than you, Evangeline."
Anselm is staring at her like a soulless, complete monster. Incapable of a single ounce of empathy. Just like Anemone said. Incapable of emotion. Incapable of making choices based on real life things, rather than far reaching ideals and grey goals. He is an asshole. Nothing but an asshole. Evangeline has never hated a man more than him, in that moment. She can't help it. She can't help it at all.
"Fuck you, Anselm."
"What?"
Their surprised faces look back at her.
This is terrible. Evangeline needs to get out of here. She needs to get back to the middle realm before they find a way to force her to stay and fight at the front lines. She takes in a deep breath of air and stares the leader of the archangels right in the eyes.
"I said, fuck you."
With that, she storms out of the meeting room, her goal no longer being her bed, but rather the eastern loophole.
She's not going to let this story go the way the angels want it to. She's not going to let the fairies do what she knows they are going to.
She's not going to let them.
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