"wait, so you're not dating heeseung?"
"gen started believing rumours?! shocker" niki gasped, unsurprised, stuffing his mouth with a spoonful of yogurt.
"shut up you little brat" gen leaned over, hitting niki on his shoulder.
sunoo rolled his eyes when niki pretended to be hurt, "so, jakey, who are you dating then?" sunoo's lip jutted out, curious eyes staring into jake's.
"uhh" jake scratched his head, he was a terrible liar but he couldn't say to sunoo that he's dating his crush "n-no one" jake laughed it off.
sunoo opened his mouth to say something, jake silently prayed he wouldn't drag the topic on "but heeseung asked to stay at your dorm last night so i packed up and left to room with sunghoon hyung"
jake wasn't sure if he should be jealous that sunoo went to sunghoon after their date last night and sunghoon said nothing to him about it this morning or that sunoo just made it known to everyone that heeseung was at his dorm last night.
"heeseung? oh yeah!" jake pretended to forget "i remember kicking him out when i saw him in my dorm last night"
it took everything in jake not to recall the memory of the late night he shared with heeseung, hoping someone would talk.
"oh i heard you came back pretty late though, where were you?"
jake regretted what he just thought. anyone other than sunoo can speak. jake must've been imagining things but sunoo's questions feel very personal and directed to jake only.
"studying," jake mumbled.
"but-"
"here sunoo hyung'' niki fed a spoonful of yogurt past sunoo's lips, shutting him up. jake gave niki a tight lipped smile to which he returned.
looking back at sunoo, his lips were now smeared with yogurt. taking the opportunity niki swiped it away with his thumb, his face turning red.
"and what about you, sun?" gen interrupted the couple moment the two platonic friends shared "no lover?"
"you know i have my eyes on sunghoon hyung" sunoo retorted, pushing niki's hands away. a look of disgust shot in the younger's way.
"sunghoon seems a little too reserved for you, sun" gen honestly spoke.
jungwon, who was drifting off to sleep, opened his eyes looking at gen's sudden comment.
"he's single"
"i meant to himself, sun" gen corrected herself. "you're bubbly and always so happy. two complete opposites"
"opposites attract" sunoo smiled warmly, tension rising in the air between the two "right jakey?" sunoo turned to look at jake.
"huh? oh yeah i guess according to basic physics, they do"
"but sun not everyone opposite to you would end up being your soulmate"
"you said it yourself, i'm cheery. i can cheer him up"
niki looked over to sunoo, a worried look on his face seeing a tear droplet hanging on his eyelashes.
"all i'm saying is maybe you need someone who's goofy and silly to match your sensible and happy mood" gen finished.
sunoo couldn't hold back the tear, it fell from his eyes, "don't act like you're some love guru"
niki sat next to sunoo, his hands on his lap itching to hug sunoo, to wipe his tears away.
"hey strangers" sunghoon poked his head next to jungwon's who jumped up wiping the drool from his mouth.
the jock cut some of the tension that was hanging in the air a second before he showed up.
sunghoon smiled at jungwon, taking the empty seat between jake and gen. sunoo wiped his tears away, frowning at the empty seat near him.
"we were just talking about you!" gen smiled brightly, munching on her half-eaten sandwich.
"good things i hope" sunghoon said, turning his head to look at jake. jake eyes fell on niki's instead, avoiding sunghoon's.
completely unaware, sunghoon's hand lifted off his lap over to jake's that rested flat on the space between them.
jake's head didn't move, only a jolt of surprise he felt. expecting jake's face to turn pinkish but to sunghoon's dismay there was no reaction.
sunghoon didn't put much thought into it. interlocking his fingers with jake, sunghoon chatted away with his friends.
"sunghoon hyung, why didn't you tell jakey i crashed at your place yesterday?"
gen and jungwon both looked pissed off when sunoo asked that question. niki seemed to notice their faces.
"how could he possibly tell jake. they're not close or anything" niki laughed it off, decreasing the tension a little.
"niki's right" jake agreed, sunghoon's face dropped. untangling his hands from jake, the latter looked over to him seeing the younger leave his seat.
"i'm sorry everyone, i forgot i had a class starting soon," he bowed, walking off.
"i need to pee" jake followed suit, running in the direction sunghoon left.
"something's definitely up" gen said, looking back at jake's running figure.
niki looked over to sunoo who stared at them, lips quivering before he tucked them between his teeth to stop himself from crying.
...................
"hoon!" jake ran after him, growing tired with every couple of runs he made. sunghoon being an athlete was no joke.
"please! wait!" sunghoon sprinted across campus. jake smiled to himself when he almost caught up with sunghoon. heavy breathing, sweat dripping down his forehead.
"i didn't mean-"
"who are you yelling at?" the person had a hold of jake's sweaty arm, books in hand at the entrance of his class.
"let me go, heeseung" jake tugged his arm, trying to get free. looking ahead sunghoon disappeared behind a building.
"you're running after sunghoon?" heeseung's eyes were dull with the name of sunghoon slipping out of his mouth.
"and?"
"jake, i told you i'm–"
"you're ethan! i get it, heeseung. if you're done pretending to be my childhood friend then fuck off" jake strained out, still trying to catch his breath.
taking out his phone he stumbled to sunghoon's contact pressing the call button.
"i am ethan, jake" heeseung stopped talking when jake shushed him. his call went straight to voicemail, calling again.
heeseung stood there, irritated to see jake pining over someone who could only run away from him.
"jaeyun"
heeseung voice cracked but jake was too busy to notice so heeseung reached forward taking jake's phone out of his grasp, chucking it into the trash not far away.
"heeseung!" jake looked at him wide-eyed, "my phone!"
"i didn't get you that phone to have you call another guy" heeseung looked pissed or hurt. his expressions were always difficult to read.
jake stood there, sighing. he couldn't say anything since heeseung was indeed the one who got him the phone.
"you got it for me! i didn't ask for it"
heeseung hands tightened on either side of jake's own, his eyes showed desperation. he felt a couple stares from students passing but ignored them.
pulling jake behind the building, heeseung's shoes sunk into the wet, muddy grass. the sky was gloomy after it had rained the entire day.
heeseung felt like that right now. exhausted after years of looking for jake and after finding him he stopped, feeling his heart rip out his chest watching jake fall for someone else and all he can do is watch.
"i got it for you" heeseung began " cause i care for you! cause i wanted you to talk to me jakey. talk to me only, your ethan"
"ethan is gone," jake mumbled, lifting one of his leg off the ground, seeing water dripping from his shoe.
"i'm right here," heeseung cried out, shaking jake's arms so he can feel him.
jake looked down at his soaked shoes that were of no use anymore, "mom told me ethan left. i wrote him letters, heeseung. every week i'd write a letter and put it in the mail box checking every day that ethan would reply"
it was heeseung's turn to feel dumbfounded, "what letters?" he asked, looking at jake's who finally met eyes with him.
"i told you, you're not ethan" jake added. heeseung dared to rebut but jake spoke again.
"ethan didn't reply, not once. all my letters came back to me unanswered. a whole year went by and still no letters from him"
"jake i really didn't get any–"
"mom told me ethan made new friends and didn't care for me anymore." jake's eyes swelled up with tears.
heeseung's heart yearned to hug jake right now, "she said he doesn't want to see me anymore that-that he only played with me because he felt sorry for me"
jake's final words were muffled in a cry. heeseung lifted his sunken shoes off the muddy grass, pressing a hand on jake's back to pull him into his embrace.
"jakey, listen to me" jake cried harder, his hands circling around heeseung "i am your ethan. your hyung. but i swear to you i got no letters from you"
"ethan got my letters"
heeseung traced his fingers along jake's back, confused as to why he was so persistent on ethan receiving the letters.
"i didn't"
"he did! because they always came back torn into pieces" jake tears fell more and more after each word.
"that doesn't mean i ripped them, jake"
"then who did?" jake pushed himself off heeseung, looking at the tear stains he left on heeseung's denim jacket.
"i don't know" heeseung reached for jake's hand, thankfully jake didn't pull away "we'll find out soon, i promise you"
"please don't." heeseung furrowed his eyebrows "i genuinely like sunghoon. i can't end things with him just because of someone who claim their my ethan"
"i am-" heeseung took a deep breath, closing his eyes then reopening them, "i'm not asking you to leave him"
heeseung and jake were inches apart, so close but their hearts were so far from each other right now.
heeseung ended up losing himself in jake's eyes for a moment then said.
"please, just wait for me"