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LUX ||
There was a huge part of me that didn't want to do what I was currently doing, but the other part of me — the irrational part — needed to see him.
The recognition of our bond was slowly killing me and being away even for two days was extremely difficult.
I know I'm the Alpha, I know this probably isn't what Legacy would have done, I know my Dad and my Uncles are going to be pissed about this and I know this probably is one of the dumbest decisions I'll ever make, but I needed to know.
I needed to know if Seiko recognized our bond, even as a Rogue or if he just saw me as his next meal or some kind of threat.
Walking through unclaimed territory again should have terrified me because of what happened two days ago, but that irrational part of me didn't want to feed into that fear.
My body somehow figured that since my mate was a Rogue, than I should feel safe enough to walk through these overgrown lands but my brain was telling me the exact opposite.
My brain was telling me to run and run fast.
"Not just your brain. I'm telling you too. This is not a good idea, Lux." — Edge interjects, whining as I stop where Legacy's blood grave was located.
Ok, so it wasn't just my brain telling this wasn't a good idea, but my wolf too because despite the fact that his mate was mine as well, he didn't want anything to do with a Rogue.
"Ya darn tootin. How am I supposed to love a mate that wants to kill me all the time?" — Edge growls and I huff a frustrated breath at him.
"You know you being a wolf, you're supposed to have a stronger connection to our mate than I do and your wariness of him makes me worried." — I tell him.
"Lux, I love our mate. I always will, the connection is there and I feel it just as deeply as you do, if not more. But it's hard to try and connect with him when our first memory together is him trying to kill us." — Edge huffs again, ears peeking when we hear a twig snap in the distance.
My senses are immediately on high alert as I whip my head in the direction from where the snap came from.
My heart begins to pound violently in my chest when I see the bushes begin to rustle and then that familiar scent hits me.
I knew he would come.
"Not a good idea, maybe we should run like now." — Edge whimpers, ducking down and crawling towards the shadows.
"Maybe we shouldn't. Last time we ran, he chased us, Edge." — I shoot back.
"And tried to kill us. You seem to keep forgetting that very important part." — Edge comments, unhelpfully.
I didn't like doing it, but I had to force Edge into the shadows because he was making this a lot harder than it needed to be.
Yeah, our mate chased us down and almost killed us but surely, Seiko had to feel something for us.
He couldn't be all bad. . .
What the heck am I saying? He's a rogue, of course he's bad, but I can't bring myself to reject him until I know for sure.
Maybe this is why I wasn't Alpha material. Maybe this is why Goddess knew to make Legacy the first born son because of my lack of judgement and poor decision making.
But Goddess also is the one who mated me with a rogue. She knows our past, present and future. She knew Seiko would be a rogue from the moment he was born and she still bound my soul to his.
There has to be a reason why.
I just need to see him and make sure.
Just as the thought crosses my mind, those same bushes begin to part as I see Seiko step out of the treeline in all his naked glory.
His chocolate skin was glistening under the early morning sun, those pretty hazel eyes beaming even from across the field and that long, crazy hair was begging to be played in.
Seiko growls, even from where we stood, fifty feet apart, I could feel it. The sound almost calling me to him, but I don't move.
Instead I say, "Mate."
And that triggers something in Seiko to shift into his wolf, the large powerful black beast barreling towards me.
My heart kicks up a notch, but I don't dare move a muscle. Maybe if I didn't move, he wouldn't chase me and unlike the first time, this time, his wolf didn't have that crazed look in his eye.
"Don't run!"
I hear another voice cut across the field just as Seiko's wolf skids to a stop in front of me.
Clenching my eyes shut, I just focus on breathing as his much larger wolf sniffs my head, bumping its wet nose against my neck.
A shudder runs through me at the feeling of its nuzzle against the spot where his mark would lie but I try to ignore it.
I didn't want to react and possibly set his wolf off, so I just let it do its thing. Sniffing and bumping, nuzzling and growling as it sticks its nose underneath my shirt and then into my crotch and against my cheek.
I'm scared, there's no doubt about that, but I try not to show it even though I'm sure he could smell my fear permeating off me in waves by now.
My body is trembling, fists are clenched at my sides, muscles are tense but I remain still. Just standing here, praying to Goddess that she knew what she was doing with binding my soul to his.
"You're doing really good, pup, just don't make any sudden movements."
I hear that voice again, frowning as I try to place it. The deep baritone of it was familiar, but I couldn't put a face to it.
And then my ears perk up when I hear bones cracking in front of me.
Cracking one eye open, I'm surprised to see Seiko in his form now standing in front of me, his much larger frame towering over mine and the intensity of his gaze boring into mine.
"Gentle, Seiko."
That voice sounds again and as I stand here, staring into my mate's impressive eyes that I'm watching shift from that pretty hazel to red, I shake my head, sure that I hallucinated the whole thing.
Rogue's eyes don't shift from colored to red. . . They stay red.
I blink, positive that I hallucinated the whole thing before I startle a little when Seiko wraps one of his arms around my back and pulls me into him. Bringing his other hands up to my chest, placing it against my heart, he tilts his head to the side as my heart starts beating violently within my chest.
"He's connecting with you, pup."
Risking it, I tear my gaze away from Seiko's reddened gaze as I look to my right and see the other two rogues standing in the treeline, watching our interaction.
"W-what?" I stutter, wondering if the rogue would actually speak back to me.
"Seiko is connecting with you," The fully clothed, more put together rogue informs and my eyes widen to hear him speak so clearly to me. "it's the one way he knows how. He's listening to your heartbeat."
Rogues can't speak. So this man had to be playing a trick on me. Sure I'd seen him the very first day and he was the same one to save me and Edge from Seiko and the other one so there's just no way he could be a true rogue.
This man had to be playing some kind of role. Infiltrating the rogues for information or something. It's the only thing that made sense.
Dad said a lot of warriors wolves would do things like that, infiltrating other packs or foreign lands, learning their strength and weaknesses while better understanding their ways of life in case of an attack.
So I nod to the rogue who had to be a warrior wolf of a neighboring pack who somehow managed to make his way into the rogue pack.
But how was he tied to my mate?
"Your name is Zev right?" I ask, remembering what he'd said the very first time we met in this very field.
The man nods. "Yes and again this is Error," he gestures to the half clothed rogue beside him who nods at me.
"Error," the man points to himself and then points to my mate who was still holding onto me. "Seiko."
I nod. Yup, that one had to be some kind of warrior wolf infiltrating this rogue pack too.
The broken sentences don't make much sense, but whatever floats his boat.
"My name is Lux," I tell them, making a mental note to research which packs were missing members named Zev or Error and then I look back at my mate who was still staring down at me.
Blinking again when I see his eyes flicker from red to hazel and back to red again, I'm half tempted to say something about it but I choose not to.
I just stand still and let him hold onto me because well, my body just felt right pressed up against his like this.
Seiko growls lowly at me, baring his canines as he dips his head and sniffs the crook of my neck.
The hand he had against my heart, still lay there while the arm he had wrapped around my back, pulls me impossibly closer.
"That's it, Seiko," I look out the corner of my eye when I hear Zev's voice again, to find him and Error standing beside Seiko. "Be gentle with him."
Gulping down my nerves, I stare into Zev's reddened eyes, trying to figure out what he meant before yelping when I feel Seiko's claws pierce through the flesh of my spine.
Seiko immediately reacts to my yelp, pulling back and scanning my body for what may have caused it, as if he didn't truly realize that he was the one who hurt me.
My mate growls again, this time it's a feral thing and I get a little worried being this close to him. Seiko immediately picks up on that and his canines are elongating as his eyes morphs into a deeper red, one that has Edge's hackles rising.
His claws slip free on his hand that lay against my chest and they slice through the flesh there. I hiss at the pain and my mate reacts to that too.
Seiko snarls, his face morphing into something that I didn't want to see. I knew that look, it was the look rogues give when they're about to attack.
It was the same look my Dad described the rogue had who ripped my brother's throat out.
"Get him off me," I panic, trying to take a step back but Seiko's grip tightens as he begins to dip his head towards my neck again. "No, no, don't let him mark me! Get him off me! Now!"
"Lux, should not move," Error speaks up, coming behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders.
Seiko pulls back, noticing his hands on me and growling at Error who stood firm behind me, holding me still.
"Seiko," Zev warns, placing a hand on the back of my mate's neck and the other, he places over Seiko's that still lay on my heart. "Your soul, feel for it. Search for it. Don't taint your bond this way."
I shake my head, not understanding what Zev meant. How the heck could a rogue search for something they didn't have?
My eyes find Seiko's as they wildly stare back at me. He growls again, his canines dangerously close to my face. Then he shakes his head, his eyes flickering back to that hazel color for a moment and returning to red only seconds later.
He's lost, battling his wolf. Battling within himself for something. . . Something that I wasn't sure was there but the way Zev and Error stood firm, made me think if just for a second, that they might just be right.
Seiko's grip tightens on me, his claws digging a little deeper into my back, a little deeper into my chest. I try to ignore the pain, biting the inside of my cheek to focus on something else.
Furs start to sprout across Seiko's arms as he snarls at me and then tries to turn around and nip at Zev, who doesn't let him.
"Come on, Seiko," Zev whispers, my heart clenching a little when I see tears starting to fill his eyes. "You can do this. You can fight it, I know you can. I've seen you do it."
That catches my attention as the fear I feel for my mate diminishes for just a moment but it's barreling right back when Seiko turns his gaze back onto me.
Error wraps his arm around my neck from behind, preventing Seiko from sinking his canines into my flesh and I'm grateful.
Seiko seems feral in this moment. He keeps shaking his head, snarling, snapping, growling at all of us and I'm not sure if he's going to truly lose it or not.
My own tears start to rush forward. Thinking about my Dad, my uncles, my pack, my brother. How I couldn't make them proud, how I was going to die from the same fate that Legacy did, in the same spot Legacy did.
I couldn't let Legacy's blood grave be tainted like this. I couldn't let all that he's worked for be thrown down the drain because of my inability to just be the Alpha he would be proud of.
So I snap.
"Seiko, stop please!" I cry out, tensing up when Seiko immediately stops thrashing against all of us.
Gasping for air, fighting for breath, fighting for control of himself, Seiko looks down at me. His head tilts to the side, his eyes observing me.
My own fear permeates the field, my lip trembling as the tears start to fall down my cheeks. "Please, stop. Please don't hurt me."
Seiko frowns, the fur that was sprouting on his arms slowly receding as his eyes flicker again.
Hazel to red. Hazel to red. Hazel and then back to red.
He blinks, his frown deepening as he moves the hand that was holding my back up to my face to wipe my tears away.
Zev sighs a heavy breath as I feel Error move from behind me and back to Zev's side, his attention still on Seiko.
"That's it," Zev nods, sighing another huge breath of relief. "Can you feel your bond now?"
Seiko grunts, the noise making me think he actually could understand what Zev was asking. Like he was actually trying to answer Zev in his own feral way.
"Let it take over, Seiko," Zev whispers, removing his hand from Seiko's that still hadn't moved from over my heart. "Just feel your mate, don't feel anything else but him."
Seiko whimpers at that but cups my face, leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.
I stay still, breathing heavily, heart pounding, nerves frazzled. I'm stunned by what just happened. What Zev was able to do. What Seiko was able to do.
What I was able to do for Seiko.
For the first time, I bring my hands up, very slowly and rub my mate's arms. I immediately notice the way he shivers against me and groans in response, but doesn't pull away.
Seiko stays here with me, his body reacting to my touch in a way I didn't think it would with him being rogue.
I always thought of rogues as mindless, emotionless killing machines. These savage beasts that only thought of two things. The hunt and the kill.
And although Seiko looked like he wanted to kill me just a few moments ago, he calmed down at my plea for mercy.
He calmed down. . . I pulled him back.
That realization has me closing my eyes and just breathing with my mate. Gently stroking his arms as he tightens his grip on my face, leaning in as close as he could before realizing our bodies were practically one.
I don't dare move despite the fact that I can't breathe fully on my own with how tight Seiko is holding me. I don't move because this felt really good.
Rogue or not, Seiko was my mate and it doesn't change the fact that my body craves his, that my soul settles around his.
And it seems like his soul settles when it's around mine too.
I mean how else would you explain what just happened?
"Lux, where are you? The Beta blood members are here to meet you." — My Dad's voice cuts through our moment as my eyes fly open.
Gently pulling back from Seiko, but not going too far, I blink as I try to remember what he was talking about.
And then it hits me. I was supposed to be putting all Beta blood members who applied for the position through a grueling process before choosing one to lead by my side.
"Goddess, I forgot Dad, I'll be there soon." — I respond quickly, heart twisting a little when I see the confusion on Seiko's face.
"Where did you go?" — Dad asks and I gulp down the guilt before coming up with a quick lie.
"I just went out for a swim at the lake. I had to clear my head, but I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm leaving now." — I tell him, letting Seiko go and taking a calculated step back.
"Alright son, I'll keep the Beta blood members busy until you get back. There's some amazing candidates here." — I could practically hear the pride in his voice before he cuts the link.
Smiling at my Dad's obvious joy, my happiness quickly fades when I see the pain behind Seiko's gaze.
"I have to go." I tell him and Seiko takes a step forward, huffing and grabbing my hand when he does.
My heart hurts when I see how strongly he didn't want me to leave. "I'll come back to see you soon, I promise but I have to go back to my pack. They need me."
Seiko grunts, almost as if saying he needs me too.
"I promise I'll see you again soon." I whisper, gently pulling my hand from his and Seiko whines before trying to grab me again.
I don't let him and that's when he goes feral again.
Zev and Error shoot forward, grabbing my mate and wrestling him to the ground.
"I hope you were serious." Zev growls, struggling to hold onto a thrashing Seiko who was just trying to get to me. "Please come back to see him."
I nod. "I will."
Zev nods as he gives Error a look that has him lifting Seiko from the ground and dragging him back to the treeline.
When they're gone, I don't linger even though everything in me tells me to do just that.
Instead of listening to my soul, I listen to my brain this time and rush to the lake.
Quickly jumping into it, I wash the smell of rogue off me. I scrub as much as I can with the lavender scented nectar leaves I find here and then jump out and rush towards my territory.
The moment I get to my gates, I nod to the guards in the towers and wait for the gates to open enough for me to squeeze through. . . Only to hear a howl of despair when I do.
My own heart clenching painfully in my chest as I step foot onto my territory. The pain is indescribable and I drop to my knees, clutching my chest because of it.
The recognition.
I clench my eyes shut as I hear voices rushing towards me, the pounding of paws against the earth beneath me barreling towards me.
Shaking my head, I hear the howl again, knowing it's Seiko. He must feel the pain of the recognition too and my heart hurts for him.
I promise to come back to you.
I promise to come back.
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